“Thanks, man,” I tell Isaiah when I notice he’s done stacking the boxes by the main door. He looks jittery, gives me a quick wave, and immediately heads for his truck to continue on his route.

  I’m more tired than usual today. Then again, I haven’t exactly been feeling myself ever since Wren left.

  The winter’s over. The endless snow that’s now associated with him in my mind is gone, and the spring is in its prime. That means the forest is green and full of life. Birds chirp outside. They build nests on that big pine behind the house, like they do every spring. It also means there are more people comin’ to the store. Not just the locals, but also plenty of tourists wanting to trek up the mountain.

  Usually, I do well at this time of the year—being busy does me good—but in the past few weeks, all I’ve wanted to do is sleep and lounge around.

  Maybe I need a multivitamin supplement. It has to be that. I’m missing just vitamins. Nothing else. No one else.

  Because it would be silly, feeling this way only because I’m missing someone I have no right to want in the first place. Someone who was never mine to miss. From what he said on the phone, Wren seems to be doing well. And he thinks I’m doing the same. That’s all that matters.

  After finally dragging the stock into the back room and filling up the shelves, I display the ‘open’ sign, and sit behind the counter with a sigh. Glancing down, I take the key hanging off my neck into my hand and absentmindedly play with it.

  It would’ve been nice…at the lake.

  My eyes feel heavy again, so I rest my elbows on the counter and put my head down.

  Only for a moment…

  Chapter 15

  Russell

  The ding of the bell above the door wakes me. With a startled blink, I try to look presentable for the customers, but when I turn my head, I hear the familiar sound of a wheelchair creaking and instantly know there’s no need for that.

  “Morning, darlin’!” Auntie Elmira beams the moment she sees me, arms raised in excitement. Hunter is pushing her in, giving me the same reserved smile and a nod he always does. His black hair is pulled back into a ponytail, and his thick beard looks freshly trimmed.

  “Oh, hey!” I quickly search my mind to find out if she said she would come around and I forgot about it. No, I think this visit is impromptu, though it’s getting to that time when she would usually turn up. “What are you doing here so early?”

  “Had a hospital appointment in town, so I thought we would drive up,” she says.

  I walk up to them and bend down to hug her. As always, Elmira smells of cinnamon and spices; soft and warm and loving. I briefly hug Hunter, too.

  “I see. Everythin’ okay?”

  “Yes, yes, everything is okay,” Elmira notes, waving her hand as if it doesn’t even matter. Then she scrunches up her nose and glances at Hunter. “Are you okay, darlin’?”

  Do I look that drained? My face might be a little red from resting it against the counter. “Why? I’m fine. Just feelin’ a bit tired these days. Must be somethin’ about the changing weather. And I haven’t been eating that well recently, so…guess that could explain it.”

  She always worries about me. I know she feels like she needs to do it on behalf of both my parents, who aren’t here, but I wish she wouldn’t stress herself over me too much. I worry about her a lot, too, but that’s just a part of being a family.

  Her rusty brown eyes look me over. She keeps sniffing the air. “You smell different. Doesn’t he smell different, baby?” she asks, twisting at the waist to address Hunter.

  He draws his brows together, clearly uncomfortable with openly scenting another omega like that. We share an awkward glance before he responds. “I…err, I guess so? A little,” he mutters while resting against the handles of the wheelchair.

  Elmira wheels herself closer to me—nearly making Hunter fall over in the process because he didn’t expect it—and forces me to bend down to her to be able to touch my cheek. “Are you sick?” she asks, the line between her brows and the wrinkles around her eyes both deepening.

  I know that illness, cancer or otherwise, is something she always worries about at the back of her mind, so I gently take her hand and pull it aside with a smile. “I’m okay, really. No pain or anything. I’m probably just missin’ some vitamins. Iron, or B12. Maybe vitamin D. Not having those makes you sleepy and tired, don’t it?”

  Humming thoughtfully, she tilts her head and keeps scenting me.

  “You’ve gained a bit of weight,” she mutters, her eyes narrowed as if in suspicion.

  I step away with a little chuckle. It doesn’t bother me—my weight’s always fluctuated, especially after I left the army—but she’s usually not one to comment on that sort of stuff. “Judging my weight now, are we? I…guess I have.” I admit with a shrug. “I’ve been gettin’ kinda lazy these past months.”

  She doesn’t need to know that I haven’t been taking care of myself much because I’ve been depressed about an alpha I barely knew, one I can’t forget about, who left after spending the most extraordinary few nights stuck here with me. She doesn’t need to worry about my mental state as well as the physical, or chastise me for ‘not finding some nice man from around here instead of dreaming of city alphas.’

  Something shifts behind her eyes in a way that puts me on alert. Sharply, she turns to Hunter. They share some kind of telling look I’m not privy to, and I notice his entire face changing, too.

  My gut twists with unease.

  “An omega only changes their scent this much if they’re sick or— You haven’t had any visitors recently to help you with your…needs, have ya?”

  My cheeks flare with embarrassment as soon as she asks. I let out an uneasy chuckle and rest my hands on my hips. “Pft, why are you askin’ me that?” She usually doesn’t talk to me about these things.

  Hunter clearly senses the awkwardness, so he steps in with that firm, steady voice of his. “Omegas only start smelling different when they’re sick or pregnant, Russell.” He narrows his dark eyes slightly. “I think we’re tryin’ to figure out which one it is.”

  I open my mouth, ready to dispute the ridiculousness of that, but then my chest tightens and my stomach churns.

  Memories of all the things we did with Wren flash through my mind. The very unprotected, wild, adult things.

  Aunt Elmira’s eyes go wide for a moment before her expression softens in concern. “Has an alpha knotted you recently, darling?” she asks in a careful tone.

  “I can’t be pregnant,” I blurt. I’m sure of it, even if my heart pounds a thousand beats a second and my skin buzzes with adrenaline. I can’t be. “I-I haven’t been sick. I haven’t thrown up. It has to be something else,” I say, shaking my head determinedly.

  Because I am determined. I took suppressants the entire time I was in the army. They’re safe to be taken here and there, but I was on them for over four years in a row. I read the pamphlets. Taking them for as long as I did was most likely bound to make me infertile. I know that.

  “By the Dualis, Russell!” Elmira practically shouts, wrapping her hands around the armrests of her wheelchair in shock. She gives me the glare my mother used to give me when I was in trouble. “Not everybody gets morning sickness!”

  Hunter’s thick brows raise nearly all the way to his hairline.

  It can’t be.

  I struggle to get hold of myself with a sharp inhale. “I…it was when… When there was that blizzard a few months ago. Remember how I…told you that late Mrs. Compton’s son had to stay over because—” My gaze drops to my stomach and my words abandon me.

  I stare down at it, realizing that maybe it hasn’t been just me being lazy and not working out or doing much else besides eating like crap. I have been…rounding…slightly, but I was always a little chunky. At times more fat than muscle, at times the other way around. So I thought nothing of it. But this is different, isn’t it?

  “What were you thinking, Russell?!”

  “I…”

  Auntie Elmira puts her head in her hands with a frustrated sigh. “You weren’t thinkin’, that’s what!” she snaps.

  I frown. She knows I’ve been hearing variations of that ever since I was a kid. My parents would tell her off if they heard her say stuff like that, which is why she has that uneasy look on her face.

  Can I blame her, though? She’s right. I wasn’t thinking.

  Good gods, I wasn’t thinking at all…

  I didn’t consider that possibility. Even when Wren knotted me and came inside me over and over again. Even though he was an alpha in rut and I was an omega in heat. All I cared about was him. About those sad blue eyes. About making him feel good. And yeah, I cared about him making me feel good, too.

  What happened here during that storm almost didn’t seem real, so how can this be real?

  Maybe I really am as soft in the head as people say…

  Auntie Elmira makes another sound of exasperation before looking up at me, clearly having come up with some sort of plan. “Alright, darlin’, we…we gotta get you to the doc. Yes! That’s what we’re going to do,” she mumbles to herself while absently rubbing her temple. Hunter nods behind her.

  Why does it feel like I’m a teenager who got knocked up? An irrational sense of apprehension bubbles up in my chest. “I don’t want to go all the way to the hospital. It—”

  I need to think.

  Dualis be damned, I need to think about this!

  My heart’s still inside my throat, and my head feels all light. I lean against the counter next to me so that I can stay standing at all. Is tiredness a sign of pregnancy? What else was I overlooking and ignoring? What else was there that I was too dumb to notice? How could I be this fucking stupid?

  “Oh, not the hospital, darlin’. Doc Coleman.”

  The mountain doctor?

  That man has been around ever since I can remember, taking care of everyone who couldn’t or wouldn’t go all the way to the proper hospital in Ridgelake. He’s also been old for as long as I can remember, so he must be like a hundred by now. Who knows if he even has an actual medical license. He is respected by the locals, though, that’s for sure.

  Especially by the venusfolk, being an omega himself. And he’s definitely helped with plenty of the more natural, unassisted births people prefer around here. So I suppose he’s got experience with that.

  I rub the back of my neck and bite on my lip. I’m not getting out of this, am I? There’s no other option but to face this.

  “Fine…”

  “We might still be wrong about this. Right?” Hunter suggests in a careful tone, probably throwing it out there as an attempt to calm me down, considering my hands shake like a newborn fawn when I put them down.

  “Right!” Auntie Elmira says promptly. “The doc will have pregnancy tests, so we’ll know for sure. Then we can…think about other steps.” Her voice gets quieter and more uneasy at the end, making the nausea suddenly overcoming me that much stronger.

  If I am pregnant, then…then this is a damn mess.

  And I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do. Even after living my entire life as an omega, I never imagined myself in this scenario. Never. Not once. I guess it never felt like…I was worthy of something like that.

  I look around the store. “I’ve only just opened. I can’t—”

  “People will understand, Russell!” She raises her voice, stressing the importance of it. “Go on. Close up and put up a sign. We need to find out if you’ve gotten yourself into a situation before you give me a heart attack.”

  Hunter flashes me one of those looks that makes it clear he isn’t just my aunt’s boyfriend, but also her alpha. He doesn’t like to see her worried.

  With a defeated frown, I mutter a strained “alright” under my breath and go sort things out while he helps Elmira back in the car.

  Doc Coleman’s house is high up on the mountain.

  I can’t say I come here often. After living in the city and getting a taste of modern life, advanced healthcare has become something I’m happy to take advantage of. After all, modern medicine saved me countless times in the service. It saved Aunt Elmira, too. If she had only treated her illness with the herbal stuff Doc usually recommends, she probably wouldn’t be here today.

  And he sure as hell wouldn’t have been able to do the difficult operation that took out her tumor, despite it leaving her paralyzed from the waist down in the end. She’s alive, happy, and cancer-free. That’s all that matters.

  As we make the drive, my stomach cramps worse and worse. Besides any disagreements I might have with his methods or beliefs, there are also the memories to contend with…

  Painful, horrible memories of coming here with my parents when they were both sick.

  I don’t blame the Doc for what happened to them. They both chose the ‘traditional’ treatments out of their own will and didn’t entertain going to the hospital until it was far too late. Coleman himself urged them to go to Ridgelake. I remember that. But once they finally did, even modern medicine couldn’t do anything to help them.

  Still, driving up the road reminds me of the times we came here with Daddy. Back when he was pale, skin and bones, and…dying.

  It was the same with Mom. I don’t like to relive those moments.

  Reminding myself that this time, I may be here for a more positive reason, I look at Elmira next to me. She’s watching me, no doubt with worries and doubts swirling inside her head as well.

  I want to say something, but I’m not sure what. Like Hunter said, we might be wrong. Maybe I’m just sick with some bug, and the weight gain is only that… Even though deep down, I already feel that’s not the case.

  We park, and I help Hunter get Elmira’s wheelchair out, ignoring their disagreeable mumbling, both of them acting as if I’m suddenly incapable of doing anything.

  The impressive two-story cabin that is Doc Coleman’s unofficial practice used to be part of an old resort for the rich on the top of the mountain before the locals ran them out of the area some two, three hundred years ago.

  “Go on,” Elmira beckons. I’m spacing out by the car, and the two of them are nearly all the way to the door. With a fortifying breath, I catch up, and we walk in together.

  We sit in the waiting room for a while. Silent and still. There’s only one patient in front of us, a young man with a kid. I don’t know his name, but I recognize his face. He’s from around here, probably living higher up the mountain.

  I stare—maybe too intently—at his little raven-haired boy, who looks to be about three years old. He glares back at me in that awkward way little kids always do, but I look through him rather than at him, because the thoughts in my mind are getting loud.

  How did I not think of this? How could I think all the things we did wouldn’t have consequences?

  What am I going to do?

  The man with the boy go in after a few minutes. I panic internally for what feels like too long before they walk out and it’s finally my turn.

  Doc Coleman walks out, gray hair receding at the sides of his head but still as full on top as I remember. He’s a tall man, and he doesn’t wear a white coat but rather a beige jacket with a checkered flannel underneath.

  “Mornin’, everybody,” he says, running his deep-set, brown eyes across our little group. We must all look stressed as hell, because his brow quickly arches with curiosity. He invites us into his office, and with his hands clasped together, he turns around to us as he leans against his desk. “Who am I treating today?”

  “This one needs a pregnancy test,” Elmira announces, not wasting a second. Both she and Hunter glance at me in a way that they might as well be pointing a big red sign that says ‘idiot’ on it. “And a consequent checkup if…if needed.”

  Both of his brows are raised now.

  “Alrighty,” he says while aiming for one of the many cabinets against the wall. After a while, he turns to me with a white strip in his hand and a plastic tub in the other. “Urinate on this, please. You can place it in the pot afterward. It’s just like the modern pregnancy test, only without all the fancy extras,” he adds confidently.

  I nod and take them from him, heading to the clearly marked bathroom on the left.

  Once I lock the door behind me, I hear muffled voices. No doubt Auntie Elmira is already explaining the entire situation to him and painting a vivid picture of how foolish I’ve been.

  I pee on the stick, and everything takes on a note of the surreal. Did I ever think I’d be here? In this position?

  Well, kids have been something I’ve vaguely pictured in my future, but it always felt far, far away.

  I’m twenty-seven…so I suppose now’s the time?

  My parents already had me by this age, and it’s not like there’s any more adventure I want to experience on my own. I’ve traveled and lived and nearly died enough. All that’s left in my heart is a desire for a peaceful existence. And I’ve achieved exactly that since I started running the store, but I guess that…even without realizing it, I always pictured it with someone else next to me. With a family we make together.

  Obviously, getting knocked up by a man I barely know to be a single parent isn’t the perfect solution to my loneliness. It’s not ideal at all, but…would it really be so bad?

  I stare at the strip for a moment before putting it in the plastic pot and tucking myself back in. When I walk out of the bathroom, everyone is already staring at me.

  I hand the pot to the Doc.

  “Let’s see.” He takes it and goes to the more professional steel table to the side, where he has a glass of water ready. After taking the strip out, he partially submerges it and stares at it as if that’s going to make it give the results faster. Oh, the wait is going to kill me. “Your aunt said you’ve been feeling tired. Any other symptoms?” he asks without looking at me, hand scratching the bottom of his chin.

  I haven’t been to the doctor’s with my family since I was a teen, so this all feels rather awkward. I face him, trying to pretend like Elmira and Hunter aren’t here.