“Just got to the hotel. My roommate and I came up to shower and change clothes, and then some of the guys and I are going to hit up a bar.”

  “Oh yeah?” I grinned despite a thump of jealousy against my chest. “This late?”

  He laughed. “Yeah, we don’t usually do this after a game, but it was Vasiliev’s five-hundredth game, so we’re taking him out.”

  “Five-hundredth? Wow.”

  “I know, right? Fucking showoff.”

  I snorted. “Oh come on. You’ll get there!”

  “Not this season I won’t.” He paused. “Is everything okay? You look a little…” He cocked his head. “I don’t know.”

  “I’m fine. I’m fine.” I glanced toward the door I’d come out of and laughed without much feeling. “It’s loud and crowded. Just needed a break.”

  From the way he watched me, I honestly couldn’t tell if he bought it. He opened his mouth to speak, but right then, a voice off-camera said something I didn’t catch.

  Parker turned. “Do I have time for a shower before we go?” Pause. “Sure. Give me fifteen minutes.”

  Disappointment congealed around my heart, but I tried my level best to hide it. “Sounds like I’d better let you go.”

  He looked at me again, his expression apologetic. “Yeah, I shouldn’t keep the guys waiting.” The background blurred as he sat up. “And I’m sure you want to go back into the club. But it was nice talking to you, even for a minute.”

  “You too.” No, I didn’t want to go back into the club. He didn’t need to know that. “Have fun tonight.”

  “I will. You too.”

  We ended the call, and I exhaled as I leaned against the cold bricks. Eyes closed, I clasped my phone in both hands, and pressed my forehead against it.

  Why did I feel worse after talking to him? And even less like I wanted to be here at this stupid club? I mean, maybe I could go have a couple of drinks and hang out with my friends, but I didn’t feel like being on the prowl anymore. I wasn’t sure I’d really felt like it to begin with, only that I definitely didn’t now. I didn’t want to sleep with anyone. Not for money. Not for fun. There was nothing in this club for me tonight. I didn’t even want a drink.

  The only thing I wanted was in a hotel in some other city, probably naked in the shower right now. Then he’d be out with his teammates, and I didn’t think I’d ever wished for the ability to teleport into a bar, especially one in another state.

  Except, no. He’d chatted with me on FaceTime, and he’d been sweet as always, but there was no room for me tonight. He was going out with his buddies. There wasn’t a place for the escort who’d introduced him to sex and helped him find his footing in the bedroom.

  I was being stupid, and I knew it. He was there. I was here. So…now what?

  Because I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to go home.

  Despite everything Marco had said…

  Despite everything I knew he was right about…

  I wanted to be with Parker.

  And I had no idea what to do with that.

  Chapter 19

  Parker

  I stared at my phone for a moment, but then put it aside and headed into the bathroom. I didn’t want to keep the guys waiting downstairs. Wright had showered and dressed, and now he was on his way down, so I needed to get moving.

  As I showered, though, my mind stayed on that conversation with Cole. He really had seemed off tonight. Like there was something bothering him. Some reason why he’d called besides just killing time before he went back into the club.

  Should I have stayed on the line with him? Felt around a bit more to see what was going on? I really did want to go celebrate my teammate’s milestone tonight, but Cole seemed…

  Damn. Maybe I should call him back.

  Except I was his client. We were friendly and all, but that would probably be crossing some lines. Maybe he’d been hoping we’d get frisky over video chat, even if he was out in public. It looked like he was in a back alley or something, so he could probably get away with talking me through—

  No, that didn’t fit the vibe I’d gotten from him.

  I swore as I got out of the shower. While I was drying off, my phone buzzed on the counter. I snatched it up, thinking it might be Cole.

  Nope. Ethan—Ubers are on their way.

  Shit, I thought. Gotta get a move on.

  I let him know I’d be down shortly, and then I quickly dried and got dressed. I put on something casual but presentable—not a suit like the one I’d worn to and from the game, but a gray button-up that went with one of my other suits along with a pair of jeans and a dark brown leather belt.

  Several of my teammates were waiting in the lobby. Others had already left, and apparently there were a few stragglers still coming down from their rooms. At least I wasn’t the last one out.

  The Ubers had arrived, and I’d barely stepped out of the elevator before I was being waved into the back of one. I rode with Smitty, Wright, and Turgenev. I didn’t say much while the guys shot the shit on the way to the bar. I was too busy thinking about that short FaceTime call.

  At first, I’d worried about texting Cole. Even though we texted frequently and not just about booking him, it seemed like overstepping to message him while I was out of town. What if he was with another client? What if he was busy? Like, say, hanging out at a club with his friends? I was a client, damn it.

  But we’d texted a lot since I’d left for this road trip, so I’d cautiously messaged him tonight, and he’d seemed receptive. I just hadn’t expected him to want to talk. Question was, what did I do with that? Especially after the mood he was in?

  A text to check on him wouldn’t hurt, would it? We’d been texting all damn day, so…

  Okay. I could text him. Just a quick—

  “Hey. Rookie.” Wright bumped me with his shoulder, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Don’t tell me you’re falling asleep on us already?”

  “What?” I laughed and bumped him back. “No. I’ve got plenty left. It’s all you old guys who need to get back in time to watch Wheel of Fortune.”

  Turgenev shot me a look. “You know, it’s that kind of lip that gets rookies into trouble. You really want all us old guys ganging up on you with pranks?”

  As tempting as it was to say “bring it on,” I put up my hands in surrender. “Okay. Okay. You win. No pranks.”

  “That’s what I thought.” Wright gave my knee a smack. “Gotta keep you kids in line.”

  “So I need to respect my—”

  “Shut up,” they all said.

  Our driver was laughing so hard I couldn’t believe she hadn’t run off the road. She stayed between the lines, though, and a moment later, she stopped in front of the bar. Still giggling, she said, “Have a good night, guys.”

  “Thanks.” Smitty flashed her a smile and handed her some cash before we got out.

  I was herded into the club with everyone else, and once we’d settled into a booth in the VIP section, I took out my phone.

  Hey, doing all right? You seemed down.

  It was probably too forward, but I didn’t think it was intrusive. I hoped it wasn’t, and now it was sent, so there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

  A minute or so later, as the guys and I were ordering our first round, Cole replied, I’m good. Sorry about that! I think I just wasn’t in the mood to be out partying tonight. Heading home now to just chill.

  He was heading home? So he’d be there if I wanted to Facetime? While I was here with my buddies instead? Fuuuck.

  But I kept that to myself and wrote, Chilling sounds good. I was worried.

  Nothing to worry about. Have a good time tonight!

  Have a good time. Right.

  I looked around at my teammates, who were starting to fill in the rest of the VIP booths, and… ugh. Why was I so tired? Why did being out here and celebrating with Vasiliev and the guys make me want to put my head down and go to sleep?

  Maybe because I’d played a game tonight. We’d played hard, too, and I was still getting back in the swing of things after being injured. Clearly that was it. Clearly. Had nothing at all to do with the man on the other end of my phone.

  The man I paid. For sex.

  For fuck’s sake. This was stupid. What I really needed to do was hook up with someone and break myself away from being hung up on Cole. I liked the guy, and the sex was fun, but he was an escort and I was his client. I was only kidding myself if I thought it was any more complicated than that. Maybe we could slide into the category of being friends, with or without benefits, but the reality of the situation was that I paid him for sex. Everything between us was a transaction. I needed to remember that instead of getting all weak in the knees and tongue-tied whenever I thought about him. I was not in love with him. He sure as hell wasn’t in love with me.

  “Hey, kid, what gives?” Smitty gestured at me with his beer, which had materialized without me realizing it. So had mine. Wow.

  “Hmm? What?” I picked up the beer that had apparently fallen from the sky. “What gives, what?”

  “You’re out of it. One game and you’re toast?”

  “I’m fine.” I sipped my beer. “I’m—”

  “Maybe somebody’s got somebody back home,” Warner singsonged, giving my arm a playful nudge. “The way you’ve been glued to that phone lately, is there—aww, there’s the blush!”

  I groaned and covered my face, and Wright egged Warner on. Some of our other teammates heard the shit-talking and joined in, and… Yeah. I wasn’t going to hear the end of this.

  “Come on!” Grayson said. “Let’s see a pic, man! Let’s see your boo!”

  “No,” I said. “I do not have a ‘boo.’”

  “Bullshit.” Turgenev laughed. “Let’s see!”

  I rolled my eyes. Across the table, I caught Smitty’s gaze, and his eyebrow flicked up. He was chuckling along with everyone, but there was a hint of both curiosity and concern in his expression.

  Aw, fuck me. He’s going to ask, isn’t he?

  Oh, he did. As soon as I managed to escape to go up to the bar for another drink, there was Smitty with his elbow on the bar and a smarmy grin on his face. “Sooo… You’ve got a man now, eh?”

  “No!” I sighed with exasperation. “No, I don’t! I’m doing exactly what we talked about.”

  Smitty’s eyebrow flicked up. “Yeah? Got a few favorites on the app?”

  “I, um… A few? Well, I mean, I haven’t—”

  “Don’t tell me you’ve been booking the same guy this entire time.”

  “What?” I laughed, hoping it didn’t sound fake. “Of course not! I mean, I’ve got favorites, but the same guy? Pfft. No way.”

  He didn’t look convinced.

  I faced the bartender, mentally begging him to hurry the hell up with the people in front of me.

  “Hey.” Smitty touched my shoulder. “I’m just joshing you. But are you okay tonight? You seem a little…”

  “I’m good,” I lied. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just not in a… party mood tonight.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah.” I plastered on a smile. “Just ready to head home, I think.”

  “Oof, yeah. I don’t blame you. The road gets tiring. Just wait till the playoffs.”

  “That bad?”

  He just laughed, squeezed my shoulder and walked away.

  Yeah, I’d heard the stories about the playoffs. They were supposed to be way more demanding and intense than college playoffs, and that shit was not for the faint of heart. But I mean, it was the playoffs, so… bring it. And with the way we were playing this season, we probably were going into the post season.

  But even that couldn’t resuscitate my enthusiasm tonight.

  I didn’t know how to explain to Smitty that the issue right now wasn’t my party mood or that I’d wussed out on using the app or that I was still nervous about my inexperience. The problem was that I had used the app, and while I was a hell of a lot more confident in bed, I couldn’t stop thinking about the Gentleman I’d hired. I was in the mood to be with that guy right now more than anyone else.

  Oh, man. Smitty would think I was such a fucking dumbass if he knew I was this hung up on an escort. And he was probably right. How naïve did a guy have to be to think there was something going on with a guy he’d hired for sex?

  I took a drink and rolled it around in my mouth for a moment before I swallowed. It was easy to tell myself that, and to remind myself that Cole was paid to make clients feel special. But what was I supposed to make of tonight’s FaceTime call? Especially since he hadn’t seemed… Hell, I couldn’t put my finger on it. I’d been surprised to see the missed call, wondering if he just wanted to wind me up a little so I’d book him again when I was in town.

  When I’d called him back, though, that hadn’t been my impression. In fact, something had seemed…off? I couldn’t even put my finger on what it was. Just that I had the distinct impression he hadn’t been calling for my benefit. Not to book me or to ensure I kept giving him money, but…like he wanted to talk to me.

  I traced circles with my fingertip in the condensation on my glass. I had to be reading too much into that call. Seeing what I wanted to see. I had turned into that guy who thought the stripper really liked him, and—

  Except it didn’t feel like that at all. Because how often did that stripper randomly FaceTime someone while they were off work and out at a club?

  What’s going on?

  I was torn between texting Cole and leaving well enough alone. On one hand, he probably didn’t need clients texting him at random times. On the other, he’d not only responded earlier, he’d initiated a FaceTime call. He’d seemed like he really wanted to chat right up until I’d had to go.

  I glanced at the bartender. He still had a few drinks to make ahead of mine. While I waited, I took out my phone, and I typed out a message that I hoped was benign and not too stupid or clingy: BTW I mean it—it was good to talk to you tonight.

  To my surprise, he started typing, and a moment later, he sent, You too. Having a good time with your team?

  I looked back at my teammates. They were all laughing and carrying on as usual. On any other night, I’d have been right there with them. I wasn’t one to get pulled away from real life to see what was on my phone.

  That was different when Cole was on my phone.

  He didn’t need to know that, though, so I wrote back, Always a good time with a bunch of rowdy hockey players. Never boring, at least.

  LOL

  I knew most people sent that while they were barely cracking a smile—as if they wrote “LOL” in lieu of actually laughing—but I couldn’t help imagining Cole’s face lighting up with a laugh. I hoped it was. Anything to cheer him up tonight.

  I wrote, Looking forward to being home, though.

  Hopefully he didn’t read between the lines and catch the part about how I was looking forward to seeing him again. That would be a little too desperate.

  I bet, he replied. It’ll be good to see you again. Looking forward to getting that booking email. ;)

  Booking. Right. Because that was what we were doing. We weren’t dating. We were booking.

  I needed to remember that.

  And I also really needed that drink.

  The party finally ended, and we all trooped back to the hotel to get some sleep.

  After he’d changed into a pair of gym shorts, Wright lay back on the pillows, hands laced behind his head. “Ahh. A few more nights, and then we’re back in town.” He smiled. “Can’t wait.”

  “I bet.” I watched him. “How does that work with you guys? Being apart all the time?”

  “Well, I won’t tell you it’s a picnic. Being away from him more often than not sucks.” His smile turned dreamy. “But I’m looking forward to the off season for the first time in my life.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  Still smiling, he nodded. “I spent every off season alone, and it sucked. But this time, I’ll be with Luca. I love the regular season and all the chaos and shit, but I can’t wait to have a few months at home with him.”

  “That’ll be nice.”

  “It will.” He turned to me. “So what’s his name?”

  I jumped. “What? Who?”

  Wright chuckled. “Come on, dude. You’ve got that…” He gestured at his face. “You’re not very subtle.”

  “Subtle about what?” I laughed nervously. “It’s nothing, man. I mean, nothing, like, serious.”

  “That right?”

  “Yeah.” I shrugged. “Finally getting laid, but…”

  “Niiice. So that’s it? Just someone to fuck around with?”

  “For the moment, yeah. I don’t really want anything else.”

  He watched me with an odd, knowing expression on his face, then chuckled. “Well, as someone who’s been watching you get that goofy grin every time you look at your phone, and as someone who’s counting down the hours until he sees the man he met just for sex and nothing else…” Wright winked. “Good luck with that.”

  I gulped.

  Oh fuck…

  Chapter 20

  Cole

  It wasn’t at all unusual for me to fantasize about other men while I was with a client, and I didn’t feel the least bit guilty about it. They were paying for enthusiastic sex, and it didn’t matter to them where I was finding the inspiration to be that enthusiastic. I was committed to making sure my clients had a good time, and what could I say? Sometimes that meant bringing in mental reinforcements.

  The thing was, I usually only fantasized while we were actually, like, doing something, whether that meant making out or fucking or whatever. The fantasy was also usually about either someone I’d been with (an ex, a hookup, a friend with benefits) or someone I wanted (a crush or a celebrity). It was not, and had never been, about another client.

  So I had to say, lying here in the middle of a client’s bed, his head resting on my chest with my arm around his shoulders, it was a little weird to be pretending he was Parker.