“I don’t mind.”

  While we eat, the atmosphere is thick with tension. Aisling’s chatter fills the silence, but the boys pick at their food and keep their eyes downcast. This morning is entirely different than yesterday. What if Kellen and Carson are opposed to not only the marriage, but moving? Sorcha’s not going to do anything that will make her siblings unhappy. They’ve had enough unhappiness in their lives. They all have.

  I need to find a way to make them happy.

  CHAPTER 10

  Sorcha

  Breakfast had been awkward. The boys were subdued and while Aisling kept up most of the conversation, even she grew quiet. I’m the oldest—the pseudo-parent. I should have been reassuring them that marriage to Aidan is going to be great. That they’ll love living in Dublin. There is so much to do there. More friends their age. But my fears and worries are just as big as theirs if for different reasons.

  I finish cleaning up the kitchen. The twins and Aisling excused themselves as soon as they were done eating. I join Aidan at the table with my tea.

  “What other questions do you have for me?” Aidan asks. “I’ll try to answer them as honestly as I can.”

  I’m still smothered in overwhelm that my brain is struggling to process. “I need to weigh all my options. Let’s say I turn down your offer of marriage, and you loan me the money,”—I hold up my hand when Aidan attempts to speak—“and I do mean loan, what would happen?”

  He sighs. “I don’t know. Campbell knows you don’t have the money on hand, and he already refused to let me pay it directly. Which means he’ll assume I gave it to you. He will probably charge interest you can’t pay and despite my telling him I’ll kill anyone he sends to try and collect, it will eventually start a war between our families.”

  I swallow at the image. “Can’t your sister talk him into taking the money?”

  “Maybe, but that has other potential consequences. It will only cause a further rift between everyone. Liam will accuse us of using Imogen to manipulate him,” he explains. “Then, if she doesn’t talk him into it, then it pulls at the tentative relationship my Da is building with her.”

  It’s damned if I do and damned if I don’t.

  “I know it’s no consolation, but I’m sorry that you, Imogen, and Nessa are caught in the middle of this battle between Campbell and my family. It’s not fair to any of you.”

  Him saying it actually makes me feel better. Because it isn’t fair that us three women appear to be the only thing stopping a bitter war. Also hearing Aidan casually mention killing people had been jarring. And more than a little terrifying. Is this really what my life has come to?

  “So we get married. Why can’t we stay here and you stay in Dublin? You can come visit anytime.” Nothing would have to change except I’d be Aidan’s wife.

  “I can’t protect you if you’re here and I’m not,” he says and there’s a hint of impatience in his tone that’s easy to identify.

  “Why do we need protecting if you pay off Da’s debt?” It should be over and done with by then.

  “Because we don’t know that Sheehan was the only person your Da borrowed money from. What if there’s another debt somewhere and more guys show up to collect?”

  I hate that with every argument, he presents a counter. Everything he’s saying makes sense.

  “What happens after we get married, then?”

  He shrugs. “I’ll take care of Campbell. Then I’ll hire a family to run the pub for you. Make sure nothing happens to it. You and the kids come to Dublin with me. Bring whatever personal items you want. I’ll need to speak to Da, but there’s no reason why, for now, you all can’t live at our estate.”

  Aidan makes it sound so easy. Only he’s not the one being uprooted from the only home he’s ever known. Kellen, Carson, and Aisling have grown up here. Not just in Burtonport, but in this flat itself. Since the day they were all born. He and I are asking them to leave it all behind. Not to mention, what happens between Aidan and me once we’re married? I assume we’ll be intimate. He’s not going to be celibate the rest of his life and there’s no way he’d cheat. That’s just not the kind of person he is. Except I’m too scared to ask for an answer I’m not ready to hear the answer to. Call me a coward.

  “I’m not trying to appear ungrateful for everything you’re doing for me. Truly. It’s just a huge decision.” I reach over and lay my hand on his arm. “Will you be upset if I ask you to let the kids and I have some time alone to talk about this as a family?”

  “Of course not. I’ll head to the bed and breakfast. Maybe we can all have dinner together, though?”

  I nod.

  “I’ll call you later.” Aidan stands and bends to kiss my forehead. Then he walks to the door.

  I follow because I have to lock up behind him. Once he’s gone, I sag against the wall with a huge sigh. My life was never supposed to be like this. Except it is. I head back upstairs. The living room is still empty, so I go to the boys’ room. They’re playing their video games like usual. To my surprise, though, they also recently cleaned. Their clothes have all been put away and all the dirty dishes are gone. Their beds are made, and I don’t trip over their shoes or schoolbags they usually dump right inside the door.

  When was the last time this place had been tidied? Far too long ago. I hope it lasts.

  They pause their game and I sit on the bottom bunk where Kellen sleeps. They pivot from their positions on the floor and face me.

  “I want to talk to you about more grown up things before I talk to Aisling.”

  While I have no intention of sharing everything, there are certain things the boys deserve to know.

  “Is this about the money?” Kellen asks again.

  I’d put him off once before, but I can’t any longer. “Yes. Before Da died he borrowed money from someone to help with the pub. Except now I can’t pay back the loan.”

  “What does it mean that you can’t pay it back?” Carson asks.

  “And who were those men?” Kellen adds.

  I try for a half-truth. “Those men worked for the man Da borrowed money from. They came to look at the pub because if I couldn’t pay the loan, then their boss would have been the new owner.”

  The twins share a concerned glance.

  “Will Aidan really keep it for us?” Kellen asks.

  “Yes, but the only way to do that is by marrying him. He is going to pay off Da’s debt and make sure no one else will be able to own the pub but our family.”

  “What is Dublin like?” Carson’s question is almost hesitant.

  I pause as I scramble for how to describe it. “Do you remember going to Belfast?”

  They both nod.

  “It’s a bit bigger than that. But there’s tons of stuff to do and see. You’d go to a bigger school so you’d have a chance to make a lot of new friends. There’s a really pretty park there called St. Stephens Green. It has a walking path surrounded by lot of trees and flowering bushes. There’s a pond and two fountains. I think you’d really like it.” I’ve only ever been there once, but it had been a memorable experience.

  “Where would we live?” This is also from Carson.

  I clasp my fingers together between my knees. “Aidan said for now, we’d live with his family.”

  “What’s his family like?” Kellen asks.

  “I don’t know. I’ve never met them. But they can’t be too bad, right? You guys like Aidan, and I bet his family is just as nice as he is.” I hope.

  The boys grow quiet again. Kellen glances up a few seconds later. “Can we take our stuff?”

  I slide off the bed to sit on the floor by them and take his hand. “Of course you can. Anything you want. Aidan said they have lots of room.”

  He didn’t actually, but if he’s rich enough to pay ten thousand euros without blinking, he has to live in a massive house. He did call it an estate after all.

  “How about this? Why don’t you two talk it over for the day. Aidan wants to take us out for dinner. We can let him know our decision then.” I make sure to say ‘we’ because their opinion and decision is just as important as mine.

  “You know Aisling will want to go,” Kellen points out. “She’s excited to get more brothers who do her bidding.”

  That makes me laugh. “She does have a way of getting you two to do exactly what she wants, doesn’t she?”

  They both smile which eases some of the pressure inside my chest.“I’ll leave you to talk.”

  I head to Aisling’s room next. She’s sitting at her desk drawing. I stand beside her and stare down over her shoulder. “Oh, that’s pretty. I love the colors you’re working with.”

  She glances up. “Yellow, pink, and purple are my favorite.”

  “Mine, too.”

  She goes back to drawing the flower she’s working on and I sit on her bed staring at the mural on her walls and ceiling. It had taken me over a month to complete it. And that had been doing a little bit every day. It’s a piece I’m most proud of. When I’d set out to start on it, I didn’t realize how difficult it would be. Sketching on paper is a far cry from almost life-size on perpendicular surfaces and making sure everything was to scale and didn’t get distorted. Then there had been choosing the right paint. The end result had been perfect, though. And we’d be leaving it.

  Some other family would be sleeping here if we do leave. I have to make Aidan promise they won’t change anything about this room. It has to be kept exactly the way it is. My heart aches at the thought of my hard work and Aisling’s adoration being destroyed.

  “Socha, why are you crying?” Worry colors her tone.

  I sniff back the tears and swipe my face. Aisling stands in front of me, her eyes big and wide and scared. I pull her onto my lap although she’s almost too big for this too. God, she’d been so little as a baby. Every time I’d held her, I worried I’d hurt her somehow. What can I even tell her?

  “I’m just feeling a little sad that you’re getting so grown up. Before I know it, you’re going to be going off to uni and I’m going to miss you.”

  “Then I won’t go. I’ll stay with you and Aidan forever and ever,” she says firmly.

  Apparently even she thinks it’s a given that Aidan and I will be together.

  “Will you be okay with him and me getting married and all of us moving to Dublin?” Does she actually understand what that means?

  “Is Dublin very far away?”

  I shake my head. “Not too far. A few hours.”

  “Can we come back here to visit?” she asks.

  “Of course. We can make a whole weekend of it if we decide we want to come back for a bit.”

  She quirks her lips and sits quietly for a rule. “Okay. we can go.”

  “I think you’re going to like Dublin. Plus, like Aidan said, you’ll get more brothers and another sister. That’s exciting, isn’t it?”

  “Uh huh.” She nods rapidly.

  I guess it’s all settled then. All there’s left to do is tell Aidan.

  CHAPTER 11

  Aidan

  The familiar scent of baking hits me as soon as I open the door. Nora is always making something or another, whether it’s for Da or Nathan and Lucia’s boys.

  She spoils them every time they come over, which isn’t often enough for her or Da. He may only be their great-uncle, but they’re treated like grandchildren by both him and Nora. Hell, they’ve got the boys calling them grand-da and mhamó. Learning they’re going to be grandparents to three more kids might be enough to ease them into the idea that I’m getting married.

  I stride down the hallway to Da’s office. The door’s open and I peek in. He sits behind his desk with his head bent over some paperwork. A pint of beer sits nearby and the faint scent of pipe tobacco lingers in the air. Although Cian supervises most things, Da still makes sure he also knows what’s going on. I knock and he raises his head.

  “Finally decide to grace us with your presence, I see.” He arches an eyebrow and leans back in his chair. “You’ve been gone longer than usual.”

  Despite the fact I’m thirty, he still manages to make me feel like a teenager waiting on punishment for getting into another fight at school. Not that Da truly punished us unless we rightly deserved it.

  “I had to take care of some things.”

  He waves me in. “Sit, so we can discuss this important thing you have to tell me after being absent for six days.”

  Not once in five years has he ever asked me where I disappear to. I take a seat and mimic his pose. Might as well just throw it all out there.

  “I’m getting married.”

  Da sits forward and rests his elbows on the desk top, tapping his lips with steepled fingers. “I hadn’t realized you were seeing anyone.”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “Is she pregnant?”

  My head rattles. “What? No.”

  “Is she the daughter of another enemy I’m not aware of?” he asks with a bit of irony in his tone.

  I bark out a short laugh. “No. Sorcha and I have been friends—and only friends—for five years. She, her three young siblings, and, up until a month ago when he died, her Da live in a small village on the northwest coast. We met in Belfast where she was going to uni.”

  “Not that I need to know who all your friends are, but why is it that I’ve never heard of her before today?”

  I have to resist the urge to look away like I’m guilty of something. “Because until three days ago, she had no idea who I was. Or rather what my last name is. She didn’t know the family I belong to.”

  Da slowly leans back, his gaze penetrating. “I see. Why is that?”

  “I lied to her when we met.”

  “That’s not what I asked.”

  I straighten. “Sometimes it’s nice being just Aidan without everything that comes with being a Donnelly. The circumstances around Sorcha’s and my meeting were difficult for her. It felt easier. Safer if she didn’t know who I was.”

  Da’s quiet for several minutes that stretch into what feels like hours. “I assume, if she’s marrying you, she’s now aware of who you are?”

  “Yes.”

  “If you’ve been lying to this woman for five years, I’ll also assume something prompted you to tell her who you really are.” It’s not a question.

  “I haven’t figured out how, yet—although it may not matter at this point since they’re both dead—but her Da knew Dónal Sheehan. Well enough to borrow over ten-thousand euros to help keep Keir’s pub afloat. With Sheehan’s death, the debt was transferred to its new owner who sent two men to collect payment from Sorcha. A debt she knew nothing about.”

  Da’s face hardens and his lips thin. “Campbell.”

  I dip my head. “She called me after they left, completely terrified. I confronted him that night. He was a prick like usual. Refused to accept my offer to pay it. So I did the only thing I could think of to protect Sorcha.”

  “You told him she was your fiancée,” he surmises.

  “In front of Imogen.”

  At last, a spark of amusement lights up his eyes. “I’ll bet that didn’t go well after you left.”

  “I transferred the money to him the day before yesterday. As long as Sorcha and I follow through with the marriage, the debt will remain wiped clean. Otherwise, he’ll take payment out of my flesh.” No matter how much I’d wanted to, I hadn’t gloated after it was all said and done.

  “Have you set a date for this wedding?”

  “Not yet, although Campbell forced my hand and said if Sorcha and I were actually engaged, then it must mean she would be moving to Dublin soon. Plus, I wanted to tell you first. I do need to go back to Burtonport and help Sorcha finalize some things with the pub. I told her I would hire people to continue operating it if she wanted. She’s having a hard time letting go though. It’s been in her family her entire life. She wants it to stay that way for the boys and Aisling after they’re grown. In case any of them decide to take it over.” I lean forward and rest my forearms on my knees.

  “What about living arrangements?” Da asks.

  “That’s another thing I wanted to talk to you about. For now, I was hoping to get them settled here at the manor. The boys can take two rooms upstairs and Aisling can take Cian’s old room so she’s close to her sister. I think it’ll be nice for them to get to know the family. Plus, having other people here can help take the burden off Sorcha. It’s been hard for her since her Da died. She’s running the pub and parenting three kids alone.”

  Da nods slowly. “I think that’s a good idea. You’ll need to talk to your brothers. Let them know.”

  “I also need to introduce Sorcha to Lucia and see how to enroll the kids in school. Plus, Aisling is around Enzo’s age.”

  “You said there are two boys as well?”

  “Kellen and Carson are twelve.”

  A smile comes to his face. “It’ll be nice to have grandchildren around. Nora will be delighted.”

  “Thank you, Da.” Having his support means a lot. “I’ll sleep here tonight, but I need to head back to Burtonport tomorrow.”

  He stands and circles the desk. I rise as well and he palms both sides of my head. “You’re my son and I always want the best for you.”

  He kisses my forehead and releases me. “Let’s go speak with Nora. We’ll need to make sure all the rooms are ready. Then you can call your brothers.”

  We walk out of his office and into the kitchen where the scent of something sweet grows stronger. Nora is taking biscuits off a sheet and placing them on a wire rack. She glances over her shoulder at our entrance. Delight flashes across her face.

  “Aidan, it’s so good to see you.”

  Da crosses the room and wraps his arms around her, pressing a kiss against her cheek. “We have some good news to share.”

  She sets the cooking sheet down and wipes her hand on a towel she tosses on the counter. “I love good news.”

  I need to resign myself to the fact I’ll probably have to tell the story at least three more times. If I’d planned better, I’d have gathered everyone together and told them all at once. Too late. Quickly, I summarize what I told Da, but leaving out everything having to do with Sheehan, Campbell, and the pub. It’s easier that way, although I’ll probably tell Cian and Finn.