“What about you?” Jordy asks. “Christmas is in less than two weeks and you don’t have any decorations up at the house.”

  “Oh.” Is that what this is about? Time has sort of slipped away from me, considering how chaotic this month has been so far. I should make an effort, at least for Jordy’s sake. I wonder if she’s ever had a proper Christmas. “I don’t go all out like Bea does since it’s just me, but I do have a box or two of decorations in the attic. We could go through them, maybe buy a few new things if you want.”

  “Yes! And what about a tree?” Jordy asks.

  “I bought a small artificial one the first Christmas I lived in the house, but I threw it out a couple years ago because it was practically falling apart. I meant to buy a new one, but…”

  “Oh, that’s too bad.” Jordy’s gaze darts to Spencer. His expression is placid, but I don’t miss the way one of his eyebrows quirks as he meets Jordy’s gaze.

  Spencer sets his fork down and nudges the plate toward me. There’s just one bite left, and the second I’ve finished chewing, Jordy says, “We should take our plates and cups out so Bea doesn’t have to come get them. Hollie, do you mind?”

  I sputter out a laugh. “No, but do I need to do it this second? Can’t we sit for a few minutes at least?”

  Jordy shakes her head. “No. You should do it now.”

  I narrow my eyes at her. “What are you up to, Jordyn Jenkins?”

  “Nothing!”

  “Yeah, that shrill tone is really convincing.”

  She presses her lips together to hold back a smile. “Nothing,” she says again. “I just need to talk to Spencer for a minute. It’s…it’s about your birthday.”

  “Oh, yes, that’s this weekend, isn’t it?” Spencer asks. The words are followed immediately by a pained expression as Jordy elbows him in the side.

  “Friday,” I say, my voice shaking with suppressed laughter. I stack the empty cups and plates, and stick the forks in the empty mugs. “I won’t be long, so scheme fast, Jordy.”

  Other than a snort of laughter, the little conspirator is silent as I leave the room. The diner is still packed, mostly with the older crowd who come in for the early bird special. There are a few small groups of teens too, some in uniforms I recognize from the private school Evie went to for the last two years of high school, and others in regular clothes. A group of four teen girls is huddled in the booth my friends and I have always sat at. For a second, I’m transported back in time as I watch them talk and giggle. I could be gazing into the past if it weren't for the fact they’re passing their phones back and forth, and we didn’t have cells until college.

  One of the bus boys zips by me in a flash of color and clinking dishware. He backs up and pauses in front of me long enough for me to set the dirty dishes inside. Bea is busy with a table of white-haired women, and I can hear faint strains of Horatio’s familiar rumbling voice calling out to the kitchen staff. I catch a glimpse of his shiny bald head through the pass-through window as he moves around the stove.

  I wait a few minutes and then return to the office. Jordy already has her jacket on and Spencer is winding his scarf around his neck.

  Jordy’s face brightens when she spots me. “Hey! Spencer has agreed to help us run an errand.”

  “An errand?” I ask.

  “A secret errand. Meaning you can’t ask questions. Do you trust me?”

  “The gleam in your eye makes me want to say no.”

  Jordy lets out a wicked laugh. Beside her, Spencer bites his lip and ducks his head, trying to hide the uncontrollable twitching of his lips. “Come on, you know you trust me,” she says. She picks up my coat and crosses the room to hand it to me. This close, I can see the genuine excitement in her expression. Sometimes I forget she’s only seventeen—still a kid, despite the weight of the world she’s had to carry all these years. She hasn’t had many opportunities to act her age and have fun without worrying about responsibilities someone her age shouldn’t have to consider.

  “It’s fun when it’s the three of us, isn’t it?” she asks quietly, looping my scarf around my neck. “Don’t you want to hang out with Spencer a bit longer?” When I don’t answer immediately, she says, “Would it help if I let you think you were doing this for me? I’ll be leaving town soon and I want to cram in as many things as I can.”

  “Ouch,” I murmur, thumping my closed fist in the center of my chest. “Emotional blackmail.”

  “Did it work?”

  I laugh and shake my head. That’s apparently all the confirmation she needs because she whirls to face Spencer. “Let Operation Secret Errand commence!”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Jordy’s Operation Secret Errand takes us to the Christmas tree lot. I’ve never been here before because I’ve always had an artificial tree—or, as in the case of the last two years, no tree at all.

  The scent of pine, woodsmoke, and apple cider hang heavy in the air. Twinkle lights are strung on every available surface, and Christmas music plays softly from hidden speakers. People wander the lot in various states, some meandering and checking their options carefully, others darting from tree to tree, but they all wear smiles. No one’s smile is as big as Jordy’s, though.

  And, because we’re apparently in a Hallmark movie, it started snowing a few minutes ago. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t allowed myself to imagine, just for a moment, that this was my life and not a temporary blip in time. That after choosing a Christmas tree with a handsome man and a girl who has stolen my heart, I’ll get to return home and continue this picture-perfect holiday scenario. But the man isn’t mine and neither is the girl, at least not for long. It’s because of her and the excitement painted all over her face that I push away my maudlin thoughts and follow her through the tree lot, allowing her to pick out a wreath for my front door, buying her a cup of cider, and not arguing when she chooses a massive Scotch pine.

  “Okay, what about decorations for the tree?” Jordy asks as one of the workers straps the tree to the top of my car. “Do you have enough at home?”

  “My decorations would probably cover a third of this beast,” I tell her. “I’ve only ever had a small tree. How about we stop on the way home and buy more?”

  The question is the right one, because Jordy’s already-bright smile now rivals all the lights in the tree lot combined. “Yes! What about you, Spencer? Want me to pick a tree for you?”

  “I’m actually not certain of my Christmas plans yet, so I’m not sure I’ll be needing a tree. I also seem to remember a rule in my lease about not being allowed to have real trees in our flats.”

  “Then you have to help us decorate our tree!” Jordy says.

  “Oh, no, I couldn’t…”

  His argument isn’t what anyone would call convincing. Spencer has surprised me by getting as much into the spirit of things as Jordy. Seeing him bright-eyed and grinning as we traipsed after Jordy amplified the warm, cozy feelings mingling inside me. “You should,” I say. “We could make a whole evening of it if you’re free. Stop somewhere for decorations, pick up dinner, and then decorate the tree. I think you’re supposed to let it fall out first, but I doubt someone has the patience for that.”

  I stifle a laugh when Jordy aims puppy dog eyes in Spencer’s direction. I’m tempted to do the same, but it only takes a few seconds for him to crack.

  “If you’re certain it’s okay, then yes, I’d love to join you. And dinner is on me. My way of thanking you for this experience.”

  My heart gives a painful little tug at his words. The last hour has been magical, but it’s also been a stark reminder that, despite my growing feelings for Spencer, he only sees me as a friend. Is prolonging our time together this evening a smart idea? Probably not. And yet I can’t help myself. I want to be with him as much as possible.

  *****

  If nothing else, it’s a good thing we invited Spencer back to my place, because I have no idea how Jordy and I would have got the tree inside and set up otherwise. The whole production was like something out of a comedy sketch, and Jordy and I were both hoarse afterward from laughing so hard. Spencer was also a big help with stringing lights on the tree; my old artificial tree had built-in lights, so I’d never experienced the nightmare of putting them on myself.

  The three of us are now sitting in silence, admiring the tree. If the looks on Jordy and Spencer’s faces are any indication, they’re feeling as satisfied as I am. That alone makes it worth the hassle…and the expense. I let Jordy run wild in the store, buying multiple strings of lights and all the ornaments she liked best. It’s an eclectic mix of glass baubles, woodland animals, and adorable Christmassy figurines. It’s officially the best Christmas tree I’ve ever had.

  I’m so lost in thought, it takes me a minute to realize the melodic chiming sound I can hear over the Christmas music playing from my phone is Jordy’s ringtone.

  “It’s Reggie. I should take it and tell him what we talked about earlier.” She hops up from the couch and dashes toward the stairs, her excited voice trailing down the hall as she answers.

  I let out a long, tired sigh. “This day has been a roller coaster.”

  Spencer scoots forward on the couch and picks up the bottle of wine I left on the coffee table. He stopped after one glass, but I had a second one since I’m home for the night. Despite two glasses normally being my limit, I don’t protest when he tops me up.

  “Do you want to talk about it while we have a few minutes alone?” he asks.

  “Yeah, actually. I—”

  I don’t get a chance to finish before Spencer’s phone rings. His only reaction is a tightening of the skin around his eyes. He gives his head a small shake and motions for me to continue. I wait a beat, and his phone rings again. With a sigh, he pulls it from his pocket. Irritation flashes across his face before he schools his expression.

  “I’m so sorry,” he says. “It’s my brother, and he’ll only keep calling.”

  “Go ahead. It’s fine, I promise.” I put my hand on his leg when he shifts to stand up. “You stay here. I’ll go.” He offers me a tight smile as he swipes to answer, and gives a terse greeting to his brother. I scoop up my own phone from where it sits on the coffee table and head for the kitchen, where I tidy up and then check my email. There are a couple of messages from work that need to be dealt with, and I lose track of time while I handle those. When I’m finished, I head down the hall slowly, ears perked for voices. I hear Spencer’s voice first and wonder if he’s still on the phone until I hear Jordy’s voice. They’re talking quietly like they were in the diner, which makes me wonder what they’re up to now.

  “Are you two conspiring again?” I ask as I enter the room. My steps falter when I see the tears shining on Jordy’s cheeks. “What—?”

  She jumps up from her perch on the coffee table in front of Spencer. “Will you tell her? I’m going to go call my brother back.” Without waiting for a response, Jordy sends me a bright, tearful smile and dashes away.

  “What’s going on?” I ask, still frozen in the hallway.

  Spencer stands slowly, his cheeks tinged with the faintest hint of red. He approaches me, his hand outstretched. I lift my hand and he grips my fingers, rubbing his thumb over the backs of my knuckles.

  “Jordy told me about her brother’s offer to go live with him,” he says. “She told me she wanted to stay in Bellevue for a while and continue working and saving money so she wouldn’t be dependent on him.”

  That’s news to me. Jordy didn’t want to talk any more about the move earlier, but I assumed she’d be going as soon as possible.

  Spencer shifts from one foot to the other. “Long story short, I, uhh…I blurted out that I’d be happy to give her the money. I figured you’d likely offered and she refused, but I thought it was worth a try. She turned me down, but the businessman in me kicked in and I suggested a loan instead. Said she could pay me back in monthly installments once she starts working in Calgary. When I told her we could write up a contract and everything, she agreed.”

  “Oh, wow.” My voice is faint as I attempt to process everything Spencer just said. “That’s…wow.”

  “I’m sorry if I overstepped,” he says quickly.

  “You didn’t,” I assure him. “I appreciate that you care so much and want to help. At Jordy’s age, a few weeks can feel like forever. I know she would have made the best of it, but she might as well be with her brother and jump right into the fresh start she wants.”

  “But you’re going to miss her.” He’s still caressing my knuckles, which is distracting in the best way. In fact, it might be the only thing keeping me from breaking down in tears.

  I suck in a shaky breath. “So freaking much.”

  Spencer releases my hand and gathers me into his arms. I press my face into his shoulder, focusing on his solid body against mine, and the way he rubs slow circles on my back. Spencer gives the best hugs. I’m tempted to tell him so as we release each other, but his warm breath on my face makes me forget the words. He’s standing so close, it’s impossible to miss the way his gaze flicks to my mouth. My lips part involuntarily and Spencer swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

  I’m not sure which one of us moves first, but in the next instant, we’re kissing. It’s a soft press of lips at first until Spencer’s hands cup my face, urging me closer. His tongue sweeps over my lips, eliciting a small gasp from me. He pulls back just enough to meet my eyes. Whatever he sees there must be what he was searching for because he lowers his head once more. Our lips are a breath apart when the sound of Jordy’s approaching footsteps makes us jolt apart.

  “Reggie talked to his bosses and they said I can fly out there on the twenty-third,” she says as she hurries into the room. “This way we can be together for Christmas!”

  She throws herself at me, and I wrap my arms around her tightly. I can’t hold back the tears now and I don’t even try since Jordy’s erratic breathing and shaking shoulders tell me she’s crying too.

  “That’s such fantastic news,” I say into her hair.

  “Are you upset I’m going so soon? I’ll miss Christmas with you after I forced you to get a tree and a gazillion ornaments.”

  I release her, swiping at her tears with the pads of my thumbs. “I can’t lie and say I’m not sad, but my happiness for you wins out. I know how important this fresh start is for you.”

  She hugs me again and then turns to hug Spencer, who looks adorably bashful.

  “We should celebrate,” I say. “I have sparkling cider in the fridge. I could put it in champagne glasses and we can pretend we’re fancy.”

  “That sounds lovely, but I really should be on my way,” Spencer says.

  “Can’t you stay for a bit longer?” Jordy asks. “This is happening partly thanks to you.”

  Spencer looks at me. The uncertainty that flickers over his face makes me wonder if he’s thinking about our kiss. Is he embarrassed? Does he regret it? Assume I regret it?

  “If you don’t need to get going, it would mean a lot to both of us if you stayed,” I tell him.

  He nods once. “I’m honored to be included. One glass and then I really should head home.”

  “School night?” I ask, bumping him with my hip as I pass him on my way to the kitchen.

  He chuckles. “Something like that.”

  Jordy convinces us to watch Ted Lasso with her while we drink our sparkling cider and eat the crackers and cheese I put out. Spencer looks torn at the end of the second episode, but ultimately pushes himself to his feet and tilts his head toward the front of the house.

  “This has been wonderful, but I should be off.”

  Jordy hops off the couch to hug Spencer and say good night. The sight of them embracing tugs on my heart strings and fills me with a swirling jumble of emotions. I offer to walk Spencer out. Neither of us says anything as we head for the front door. After donning his boots, he gives me a bittersweet smile that likely mirrors my own.

  “You okay?” he asks softly.

  “Still feel like I’m on a roller coaster.” I sigh, leaning my head against the wall beside the front door. “I really am happy for her, and I’m grateful to you for helping her make this happen sooner than expected. Everything else I’m thinking and feeling seems so selfish.”

  “You love her,” Spencer says simply. “That’s not selfish. You’ve given her a home, and I don’t just mean a place to stay. You’ve been a constant in her life for the past year, someone she can count on. You’ve shaped her life in ways you likely can’t even imagine. It’s only natural for you to have mixed feelings and for those feelings to include sadness.”

  My throat tightens at his words. I was just getting used to having Jordy around. We’ve had a lot of fun over the last couple of weeks, and I thought I’d have at least a couple more. I thought she’d be here for Christmas and, after the excitement of getting a tree and decorating, I planned to go all out and make it a holiday she’d remember forever. “You always know the right thing to say, Spencer. I needed to hear all that.”

  He moves closer to me. “My instincts are telling me to hug you right now, but…”

  “No buts. Go with your instincts.”

  “Should we talk about what happened earlier?”

  I stop myself from telling him I’d rather have a repeat of what happened earlier than talk about it. “It can wait.” I step forward and he holds out his arms. I love how we fit together. Being in Spencer’s arms again feels like two puzzle pieces that you struggled to find matches for before that satisfying click of coming together. We feel right. Kissing him felt right too.

  At the memory of kissing him, my breath hitches. Spencer stiffens against me a second before releasing me. I expect him to immediately put distance between us, and I’m relieved when he doesn’t. The softest sigh escapes him, as if he has no hope of controlling what’s about to happen. The space between us becomes infinitesimal and then his mouth is on mine again.

  It’s the sweetest, softest kiss I’ve ever had. When our lips first touched, I wanted heat and passion. I imagined fisting the front of Spencer’s shirt while he gripped my hips, and letting the kiss obliterate all my thoughts and lingering sadness. Instead, I get lost in the gentle press of lips and the feeling of his hands cupping my face.