I close my eyes in anticipation of their reactions. I’m sure the others will hear them. For that matter, I’m sure the whole neighborhood will hear them. After a moment, I crack one eye open to peer at them. They’re all exchanging silent looks, which is almost worse than having to field rapid-fire questions and comments.

  Louisa is the first to speak. “I’m obviously not an expert in the romance department, but I wouldn’t call that a mixed signal. In fact, I’d call that a pretty clear signal.”

  Stella nods vigorously. “Crystal clear. How could you not tell us this? When are you leaving?”

  I sputter out a laugh. “I’m not. We’ve only been hanging out for a month and we’re not even an official couple. Spending the holidays with him here would have been one thing, but traveling across an ocean with him is another thing entirely.”

  “Yeah, but across an ocean to a country that’s at the top of your wish list,” Evie says.

  “With the guy of your dreams,” Stella adds.

  “You’re the least impulsive person I know,” Louisa says. “If you went with Spencer, it would be because you saw real potential for a future with him. You may not have known each other all that long, but you’re a good judge of character.”

  I blink at my friends. “Wait, I think I’m missing something here. Do you guys think this is a good idea? Are you telling me you think I should go?”

  Stella shrugs one shoulder. “I’d go. You learn a lot about a person by traveling with them.”

  “True,” Evie says. “You could realize he’s The One and fall madly in love, or you might decide you’re not right for each other. Obviously, we’re rooting for the former.”

  Louisa nods. “Definitely the former. And think of what an adventure it would be. London at Christmas, Hollie! London at Christmas with a hot Brit who you said yourself is smitten with you.”

  My mouth opens and closes, fishlike. I bet my eyes are bulging like a fish out of water too. “I can’t believe you think this is a good idea,” I say faintly. “I thought you’d agree it was way too soon for something like this.”

  “Ultimately what matters is what you think and how you feel, Hols,” Evie says.

  “If I’m being completely honest, I want to go,” I say. “But then the practical side of me kicks in and reels off endless questions. What about Christmas here with all of you? I wouldn’t be able to stay as long as he’s staying, so I’d have to fly back on my own. What about the fact we’re not even officially dating yet? And the fact a last-minute ticket would cost a small fortune? And that’s if I could even get a ticket at the last minute.”

  Louisa shifts so she’s sitting directly in front of me. She picks up both my hands and holds them loosely in hers. “Forget what your head says. What does your gut say? Or better yet, your heart?”

  I sit very still, staring at my hands gripped in Louisa’s. I attempt to drown out the voices in my head and tune into my gut and my heart.

  “Not to interrupt,” Stella says in a half-whisper a few minutes later. She holds up her phone with the screen facing me. “I’m not sure when Spencer is planning to leave, but I’ve just been looking up flights and there are seats available on most flights over the next few days.”

  “And you have that voucher we gave you for your birthday,” Evie says, her eyes brightening. “If you end up having to pay a bit, I assume you’d be staying with Spencer, so you wouldn’t have to worry about accommodation.”

  “That’s another thing, though,” I say. “Staying with Spencer.”

  “He showed me pictures of his flat one day at the diner, and there are two bedrooms,” Stella says.

  “And Spencer is a gentleman,” Louisa points out. “He wouldn’t pressure you to do anything you’re not ready for.”

  “But maybe you would be ready if you were officially dating,” Evie says, waggling her eyebrows. When I smack her arm, she holds up her hands in defense. “Just saying!”

  My friends giggle, and I laugh along with them. It feels good, like a release of the tension that’s been mounting inside me.

  There’s a light tapping sound on the door a second before it opens and Jordy peeks her head in. I expect her to ask what’s going on or tell us we should get back to the party. Instead, she says, “I’d like to say I’m sorry for eavesdropping, but I’m really not. Can I come in?”

  My laugh turns to one of disbelief as I motion for her to join us. This kid. I’m going to miss her so much.

  “Okay, I’m going to get straight to the point here,” she says, pausing by the side of my bed. “Everything your friends have said is right. But I’m going to ask you what you asked me when I told you about moving to Calgary: if no one else was a factor, if you weren’t worried it was too soon, if you weren’t afraid of disappointing your friends by being away for Christmas, what would you do? Would you want to go to London with Spencer? Don’t think about it, just answer. Yes or no.”

  “Yes,” I say immediately.

  My friends clap and squeal as they hug me awkwardly from our seated positions. I make strange hiccupy sounds as I half laugh, half cry.

  “There’s just one problem.” My voice is muffled against someone’s shoulder. We’re basically a big pile of limbs as we crowd together in a squishy group hug, and I don’t even know who’s shoulder I’m speaking into. “What if Spencer has changed his mind and doesn’t want me to go with him?”

  We begin the process of disentangling ourselves, and from somewhere to my left, Jordy says, “There’s only one way to find out.”

  *****

  I intend to pull Spencer aside for a private moment when we finally leave my room, but the guys draw us into conversation and dessert, and someone suggests we get started on opening presents.

  Fergus offers to hand out gifts while we all crowd into the living room. My three-seater couch ends up with four people crammed onto it, plus Spencer perched on the arm of the couch, while Wesley takes the chair with Evie in his lap. Jordy and I throw cushions on the floor and sit near the tree.

  It doesn’t take long for Jordy to realize almost all of the gifts are for her. It’s hilarious to watch as her eyes get bigger and bigger and her cheeks turn so red they rival Stella’s Christmas sweater. While I was making the arrangements last night, each of my friends asked about gifts, and I suggested they focus on picking up something small for Jordy, and we could exchange our gifts over the Christmas holidays.

  “Why not just shine a spotlight directly on me?” Jordy mutters. “This is…too much. I didn’t get anything for anyone.”

  “No one expected you to,” I tell her. “None of us want to make you feel uncomfortable by showering you with gifts, but I thought you deserved to be spoiled a bit before your big, fresh start.”

  “Every single one of us here knows what it’s like to start over in some way,” Evie says. I hadn’t thought of that before, but she’s right. “Hollie said you bought some new clothes, but we thought you could use a few more things. Stuff you might not buy for yourself.”

  My friends all add their encouragement and soon Jordy is tearing into the packages, oohing and ahhing over the variety of goodies inside, which include things like makeup, nail polish, hair products, face masks and scrubs, and gift cards. Despite the smile on her face, I see the way she blinks rapidly to hold back tears, which makes me fight to hold back my own.

  After she opens the last gift, Fergus says, “Check your email when you get a chance. My knowledge of things enjoyed by seventeen-year-old girls is limited, but I know what it’s like to be welcomed with open arms by this lot.” He waves a hand around to indicate the room at large. “I thought you might appreciate being able to come back to Bellevue for a visit, so I got you a flight voucher. Hope that’s okay.”

  This seems to be the thing that finally breaks the dam for Jordy. Tears spill down her cheeks, despite the brilliant smile on her face. She dives forward to hug me, then leaps to her feet and works her way around the room, hugging each of my friends in turn. Her friends now too, I realize with a sharp, bittersweet tug in my chest.

  “A flight voucher,” Stella says, appearing by my side. “Clever Fergus. Have you thought more about using yours, Hols?”

  “Are you thinking of traveling over the holidays?” Spencer asks from my other side. I jump and turn to face him. Last I checked, he was still sitting on the arm of the couch, talking to Jordy.

  “Yes, actually,” I say before I can lose my nerve. “Hey, will you come help me with something in the kitchen?” He nods and heads in that direction while I whirl back to face Stella. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” I hiss.

  She gives a languid shrug, looking far too pleased with herself. “Maybe. I was worried your brain might have been busy trying to overrule your heart while we were delayed with opening presents. I thought I’d give you a little nudge just in case.”

  “You are simultaneously the worst and the best, and I love you.” I kiss her cheek and hurry after Spencer. He’s waiting for me in the kitchen, appearing perplexed that I didn’t follow immediately.

  “Where were you thinking about traveling?” he asks.

  “Well, that’s up to you.”

  “Me? You want me to help you choose? Are you thinking somewhere warm?”

  “The place I have in mind is technically warmer than Bellevue, but I wouldn’t call it warm.”

  He narrows his eyes. “Is this some strange Christmas game we’re playing? A riddle or a guessing game like twenty questions?”

  “No.” I suck in a deep breath and blow it out slowly. My palms are sweaty and my hands are shaking slightly. “Earlier today when you brought my wallet, you said you’d changed your mind about coming for dinner and hoped I’d give you a second chance and reissue my invitation. Now it’s my turn to hope for the same.”

  Spencer cocks his head to the side. I watch him closely, aware of the moment his whirring thoughts turn from confusion to understanding to hope. “And what invitation would that be?”

  “The one where you asked me to spend Christmas in London with you.”

  “Christmas in London,” he says softly, bobbing his head. “You’re right about it being warmer than here, but not warm. It is beautiful, though. Stunning, really. And the shame of it is, I’ve only ever enjoyed it from afar. I think I’ve had quite enough of enjoying things from afar, though.”

  He closes the distance between us, stopping directly in front of me. His eyes sweep slowly over my face, taking in every inch, his smile growing by the second. “Hollie, will you come home with me for the holidays? There’s no one else I’d rather experience my first proper London Christmas with.”

  “That depends. Would I spend Christmas with you in London as your girlfriend?”

  “Yes, of course, as long as that’s what you want. It’s what I want.”

  “And you don’t think this is too big of a step?”

  Spencer lets out a bewildered half-laugh. “Hollie, please don’t tell me you asked me to invite you again only so you could say no a second time.”

  “No, no, I just want to make sure. It feels like we’ve known each other forever, but it hasn’t actually been all that long.”

  His expression sobers. He inches closer, cupping my face with one hand. “We may not have known each other long, but sometimes you just know. For example, I knew before we even met in person, and I was heartbroken when I didn’t have a chance to explain things to you and you thought the worst. I’ve been equal parts elated and terrified these last few weeks, getting a second chance to be in your life, but afraid to mess things up by not being able to give you my all. If you come with me, we can figure things out as we go. Make up our own rules.”

  “I like the sound of that.” My voice shakes with barely contained excitement. “Hey, Spencer, remember earlier when I asked you to kiss me and we were interrupted? You said ‘to be continued’...”

  He makes a show of glancing over my shoulder.

  “What are you doing?” I ask.

  “Wondering how long it’ll take one of the others to interrupt us again.”

  “Better act fast, then.”

  Once again, he accepts the challenge. He cups my face in his warm hands and swoops in, kissing me until I forget I have a houseful of guests. This is going to be an amazing Christmas.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  The reality of the situation hits me when Fergus pulls up outside Pearson International Airport in Toronto. It’s Christmas Day and I’m going to London for a week. London! With Spencer!

  “Come on, quick,” Louisa says, giving me a shove to get out of the car. “We’ve only got a few minutes.”

  I blink and realize my door is open. Spencer is standing there, looking like something out of a dream: bright smile, tousled hair, snow swirling around him. I scramble to unbuckle my seatbelt and then accept Spencer’s outstretched hand and climb out on shaky legs.

  “You okay?” he asks, keeping my hand clasped in his and lifting it to brush a kiss over my knuckles.

  “I’m great.” Nerves and excitement make my voice come out high and shaky.

  The last two days have been a whirlwind and a continuation of the emotional roller coaster I’ve been on for the last month or so. Jordy left on Friday afternoon; I wanted to drive her to the airport, but she insisted on taking the Megabus.

  “You stay here in your little love bubble with Spencer,” she said to me on Thursday night after everyone left. “The four or five hours round-trip to Toronto would be better spent packing and getting ready for your time away.”

  “But a road trip would be fun!” I’d argued. “We could leave early and make a few stops along the way. I’d pack road trip snacks, and I’d even let you be in charge of the car playlist.”

  “Wow, you really are serious.” Her smile had faded quickly as she pulled out her phone and showed me the confirmation email from the bus company. “I can’t bear a long goodbye at the airport. I might change my mind and beg you to bring me back to Bellevue with you. Please don’t fight me on this, Hol.”

  So I hadn’t. On Friday afternoon, I packed her some snacks and a thermos of hot chocolate. She at least let me drive her to the bus terminal, where we hugged and cried while people moved around us and buses came and went.

  “I’ll never forget everything you’ve done for me, Hollie,” Jordy had said into my shoulder.

  “Just remember you’ll always have a home here. Family isn’t always blood, and you’re my family. I’m only ever a phone call or a text away. And I promise to fly out for your graduation, if not sooner.”

  With a quiet sob that was nearly my undoing, she’d wrenched away from me to grab her bag from the ground. The driver had already loaded her enormous suitcase on the bus. She surged forward to kiss my cheek and tell me she loved me, and then she hurried away, practically running the short distance to the bus without looking back.

  “You thinking about Jordy?”

  Pulling myself from my thoughts, I find Louisa standing in front of me. Spencer is now with Fergus, getting our bags out of the trunk. It only takes a minute since we’re each only bringing carry-on luggage. Spencer nods as he and Fergus head for the doors, giving Louisa and me a minute alone to say goodbye.

  “Thinking about Jordy, thinking about Christmas, thinking about London.” I face Louisa and take both her hands in mine. “Thinking about how awful I feel that I’m going to miss your thirty-fifth birthday.”

  “Don’t,” Louisa says firmly. “You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. You’re getting the trip of your dreams with the guy of your dreams. You think I’d begrudge you that?”

  “Never. But we’ve also never been apart for our birthdays.”

  “We’re not kids anymore, Hols,” Louisa says. “There was going to come a day when we might not see each other on our birthdays or even holidays. We can celebrate when you get back.”

  “I’ll bring you something extra special from London,” I say, and she laughs. “And I’ll call you at midnight on the thirty-first.”

  “It’ll be five in the morning there.” Louisa is still laughing, although her eyes are now filled with tears.

  “You’re worth staying up all night for,” I tell her. “Or, y’know, maybe setting an alarm. Either way, I promise to call you, and you know I take promises seriously.”

  Tears spill down Louisa’s cheeks. Seeing them makes my own eyes overflow. We move at the same time, hugging each other fiercely.

  “Gah, I’m only going for a week,” I say into her hair. “We’re being ridiculous.”

  Louisa gives a watery laugh. “We are. But this feels big, doesn't it? So much has changed in our little group over the last few months, and this is another thing added to the list. A good thing,” she rushes to add as she releases me. Her gaze shifts past me, and the way her eyes soften and her lips curve tell me she’s looking at Fergus. When she swipes hastily at her wet cheeks, I know he’s coming our way and our moment alone is almost over.

  “Sorry to cut this short, ladies, but we need to move the car.” Fergus holds out his arms to me, and I step into them. “Don’t you worry about a thing while you’re away,” he says quietly in my ear. “You concentrate on having fun; you’re going to love London. I’ll take good care of our girl.” Whatever he sees on my face as he releases me makes him chuckle and wink.

  Louisa and I share one last, quick hug. “I love you,” she whispers. “Enjoy your fairytale romance. You deserve it.”

  I tell her I love her and give her one final squeeze. As soon as we part, Fergus steps in and puts his arm around Louisa’s shoulders. They wave, and then turn in unison toward the car. I watch as Fergus speaks quietly to Louisa as he opens the passenger door. She laughs at whatever he says, and the sound makes my heart squeeze. Maybe my little Lulu is about to get her own fairytale romance.