"Xander." Her voice was so soft, but I could hear the tears in it.

  “I ran my nutter arse back to a doctor pronto, but it wasn’t physiological; it was psychological. Of course, the doctor said I needed some serious time on a couch if I wanted to stop. Shit, at the time, I could be with two or three women a day. It didn’t help that the world’s most beautiful women surrounded me. All it took was a look of interest and I would fuck someone. I didn't care where. A dodgy alley, a car, by the wharf, the loo at a club. Hell, I’ve had women blow me at one of the VIP clubs before.”

  The whole time I spoke she didn't let go of my hand once, just gripped it tightly as if she was afraid I might bolt.

  “At one point I wondered if maybe I was gay." I shook my head, disappointed with myself. "That was a disaster of a failed experiment. I couldn’t get it up. But at least it answered a question, though I still couldn’t get my rocks off with anyone. Sure, I could come on my own, but it wasn’t the same. I’d leave women in bed then have to do something to relieve the pressure afterward unless I wanted a wicked case of blue balls. The relief I couldn't get with sex I numbed with drinking and party drugs. Fuck, I didn’t even like being high. I was a fucking mess. Until one night three years ago, Lex dragged me out of some East London club by my scruff." I shook my head. "It was humiliating, but he wouldn’t let me give up on myself. I really had no choice but to get myself together. What I was doing wasn't working.”

  “You were able to just walk away?”

  “It wasn’t always easy, but I started choosing the thing that felt good. Or rather the path where I didn’t feel like an arse. The drugs were easy to stop. I never liked being high. It was harder to quit whoring around. But when I did, it stuck. Until recently, I hadn't slept with anyone for two years." I swallowed hard, not wanting to tell her about what I’d done. But I knew I had to. “I shifted my focus to revenge over the last couple of years. Lex said it would eat at me, but I didn’t understand what he meant until I met you. I’ve only cared about making Alistair pay, and I’ve been willing to do anything to make that happen. That includes sleeping with his wife for information.”

  She went still, but she didn’t let me go.

  I pressed on, hoping I could just get it all out before she decided she was done. “I knew who she was, and I targeted her. I slept with her. I told myself it was for information, but a part of me knew it was just because I wanted to punish him. We’ll just say it wasn’t good for me. And then you pretty much changed everything.”

  Imani parted her lips, and I fought the urge to kiss her. "I don’t understand. Why me?"

  "I wish I understood it myself. All I know is that I felt this instant connection to you that first night. Like a part of you was as afraid as I was, but you were so strong. I wanted to touch you. I was desperate to kiss you. Just tasting you was enough to have me on the edge of an orgasm."

  Imani frowned as she tried to understand properly. Sitting up straighter, she asked, “Then why do you try to block out that connection?”

  Well, I’d already told her the truth. Might as well continue. "Because you scare the shit out of me.” I finally told her about the night I got the bruises on my hand and how badly I’d beaten Easton when he attacked me at Lex’s and I thought he had come for her. “That night, by the time I got home, I was a wreck. You weren’t here, and it kept running through my head what I could have done to that guy. It terrified me that you make me lose control. I would have happily killed him with zero remorse. Having someone that close to me petrifies me."

  She swallowed. "You were different when we..." she let her voice trail.

  I nodded. “I needed you. But I wanted to distance myself from you emotionally. The moment I tried to do that, we didn’t work."

  She nodded then reached up to my face and cupped my cheek. "It changed when I kissed you?"

  I nodded. "I can’t seem to hold back from you."

  She planted her hands on my shoulders and kissed me softly. "Then don't. I’m here for as long as you want me."

  Little did she know that forever sounded pretty good to me.

  8

  Xander

  This was it.

  Today was the day. I was finally putting all of this to rest. But I still couldn’t shake the shadow of last night. Imani hadn’t left me, and I’d held her till the sun came up, still unable to sleep, but feeling lighter than I had in months. It didn’t stop the raw, exposed feeling though.

  To Imani’s credit, she'd acted completely normal this morning, complete with shower sex that blew my mind. And if I was honest with myself, I'd rather be locked in the house with her all day, but I had other commitments now. LeClerc wanted to meet later today about one of our campaigns. But before we discussed work, I’d be presenting the old man with all the information I’d dug up on Alistair. When it was over, the man wouldn’t be allowed into the building. I’d wanted a public spectacle and shaming, but the work the trust did was genuine. I didn’t want that tainted by Alistair.

  Before I could focus on my future, I had to deal with my past. Garett had finally found something I could use, though it wasn’t what I expected. After last night's stock purchases, I was finally ready. I'd thought I'd be more excited about it, but mostly I just wanted it over with. I was just so tired.

  This morning, Lex and I had made our move. In the next five minutes, the announcement would go out to all the media outlets regarding the purchase and control of Trident Media Group. We’d also leaked it that Lex and I were behind the company that made the purchases. No point in making someone twist in the wind if they didn’t know it was you.

  A knock on the door made me sit up straight in preparation. "Come in."

  Alistair pursed his lips as he shut the door behind him. "Let's get this over with, shall we? What did you want to see me about? We have work to do today, and I don’t really have time to deal with your particular brand of whiny bullshit."

  My lips tipped into a half smile. I waited for the rush of victory, some sense of accomplishment, but I was too tired. Too empty. I'd hated this man for twenty years. The pain he'd caused me was unspeakable. But at the same time, the anger had only affected me. Eaten me alive. Alistair was, for the most part, unaffected by it.

  Yeah, well, that was about to change, and then he'd be done. After this I could spend some time with Imani, get to know her for real, figure out how to live without the need for revenge. "Have a seat, Alistair."

  My once almost-brother shoved his hands in his pockets. "I prefer to stand."

  "Fair enough." I rolled my shoulders. "Within the next few minutes, I expect you to resign from the London Artistic Trust. I don’t want to ever see you again. Matter of fact, I'd like you to move away from London. I don’t really have any say about that, but if I do see you anywhere in London, I will make it my personal agenda to destroy you."

  Alistair stared at me for a long moment then laughed. "Have you been shooting the stuff your heroin-chic models love so much? I'm not going anywhere. Nor am I resigning from the Artistic Trust. It's a prestigious position, one I work hard for."

  I thought I'd be angrier, but I felt nothing, but complete apathy. "You will resign, and I’ll tell you why. Since I took my position, I’ve been doing a little digging. I figured if I looked closely enough, I’d find something to pin on you. Hell, I thought I’d find that you were a sick fuck like your father was. I expected complaints of inappropriate behavior, payoffs. And don’t get me wrong, I’m going to continue to dig.”

  I drew in a deep breath before continuing. I’d waited so long for this moment. “But imagine my surprise when I found you’ve been skimming money from several discretionary accounts. And even better, you’ve been using the money to pay off gambling debts. I asked around, and seems you owe money to a nasty bunch of Russian mobsters called Pushka.”

  “You’re full of shit. You don't have anything on me.”

  I smirked, starting to enjoy myself just a little. “If you say so. I can’t imagine Pushka will be pleased when the money dries up. Have you thought about what you’re going to do?”

  “You have no proof.”

  Unfortunately, the evidence Garett had found was circumstantial. It wouldn’t hold up in court, but I wasn’t taking this to court. I was going to press Alistair’s balls so hard he would beg to step down. “Is that what you’re telling yourself?” I held up a thick file. “It’s all here, thanks to a little help from Jillian, or is it Julia? I can never remember your wife’s name.”

  It was only then that Alistair’s eyes bugged out. The older man lunged for me, and I stood smoothly, shifting my weight onto the balls of my feet. I’d been ready for this for a long time.

  “You’re a twat.”

  I shrugged. “Yeah, probably. But at least I’m not a thief. I haven’t taken anyone’s youth or money.”

  “What do you want to hear? That I’m sorry for what my father did to you? That I was afraid of defying him? That I knew the pain you were going through? Fine. I’m sorry. I wish I could take it back.”

  Fury propelled me until I had Alistair’s lapels in my hands. There was a distinct lack of sincerity to the apology that made my blood boil. But more than that, I hadn’t forgotten how the man had tried to ruin my life. “You’re bleeding sorry, you git? Your lies destroyed me. And now I’m going to destroy you.” I released him and Alistair stumbled back, his fear palpable.

  “You don’t understand; Pushka will kill me.”

  I shook my head. “Not my problem. And I’m afraid there is more bad news. As we speak, Alexi and I now own fifty-five percent of Trident Media. Starting as soon as we can manage it, we'll be dismantling your holdings brick by brick—everything you and your father built or that you built with his money. I'm not going to rest until it lays in a pile of rubble at my feet."

  Alistair blanched. "You're a fucking liar."

  "You can feel free to call your lawyer. You should have been getting frantic emails by now. Our lawyers made the move for takeover this morning."

  Alistair frowned and yanked his phone out of his pocket. With one glance, he threw it down. "What the fuck do you think you've done? This is my family's company."

  "Yes, yes, it is, which is precisely why I want it razed. You will not profit any more from your family name. It’s time you pay for what you let your father do to me."

  Alistair planted his hands on my desk. "If you do this, I'll tell everyone that you killed him. The world will know."

  "Go ahead. You do that. Open up those old wounds and cover-ups. I'll expose your father for the nonce he was. And given what he did to me and how good he was at keeping secrets, I doubt I was the only one he hurt. We’ll see how many more of his victims come forward."

  "Fuck you," Alistair sputtered, rage etched over his features.

  Though I smiled, I didn't feel how I’d anticipated. All I felt at the moment was empty. "You know, rationally, I can forgive you for that night. You were a teenager. Still a child. I could have let you walk away from that. What I can’t let you walk away from are your actions as an adult. You deliberately ripped the woman I loved away from me to protect your past. You did that to me willfully and deliberately. For that alone, I could kill you. But I'll settle for your livelihood instead."

  "I will kill you."

  "You're welcome to try." I held up my bruised fists. "But the last bloke who thought he’d have a go ended up in the nick for his efforts. Care to take your chances?"

  "You cannot do this."

  "Oh, but I can. You will resign today if you want to walk away with any of your money. Otherwise, I will make it my personal agenda to strip you of any fortune you have left. I will tell everyone on the board what you helped do to me." I shook my head. "I have nothing to lose anymore. You think I care what people say about me? I don’t give a fuck."

  "You're a dead man. I will destroy you."

  I rocked back onto my heels. "Too late for that. You maybe could have been a decent human being. And maybe you were a victim of what your father did once, but no more. You've made this particular bed. Now you have to lie in it. I expect to see that resignation letter in my inbox within the hour. I'm meeting with LeClerc then. If you haven’t resigned, I'll tell him everything."

  Red-faced and blustering, Alistair pointed a finger at me. "We are not finished. This isn’t over. I will see you rot for this."

  "That's where you’re wrong. We are done. I've been twisting in the wind for years. Now it's over. Get the hell out of my bloody office."

  As I watched Alistair walk out, I felt some relief, but mostly I felt numb. It was done. I was finally done. I'd leave the dismantling of Trident Media to Annabel and the finance guys. But I had survived and won.

  Then why don't you feel better?

  My phone rang, dragging me out of my reverie. "Xander here."

  "It's Jean."

  "Hi, don’t we have a meeting in an hour?"

  "This won’t wait."

  Something in the older man's voice told me I'd inadvertently fucked something up. "What's the matter?"

  "The model, Bobby Reynolds, is she a friend of yours?"

  Something about the way the question was asked told me to tread lightly. "I know her work. But can’t say that I know her."

  "Interesting that you would say that. Because she certainly knows you. She’s refused to work with you and has pulled her support of the trust."

  "What?" My brain scanned my memory banks. There were so many women, all of them blending into one another. I had no recollection of her whatsoever. "This is fucked."

  "You’re telling me. Come down to my office. We'll need to work through it today and come up with another solution."

  "Yeah, I'm on my way." When I hung up, I ran my hands through my hair. After that scene with Alistair, it wasn’t over after all. My past was still reaching out to fuck with me. I checked the time and groaned. It was already four. There was no way I'd be getting out of there in time to meet Imani for dinner.

  I sent her a quick text.

  Xander: Stuck at work. Going to be a late night. I'm sorry. Rain check?

  The reply was instant.

  Imani: Okay, I'll miss you.

  Two minutes later a photo message came through. It was one of the ones I’d taken of her with my phone and loaded onto my computer. Imani, on the bed, bare-faced, the sheet barely covering her nipples.

  My cock twitched, and I groaned against the spike of need in my blood. My hands were shaking when I tapped out a reply.

  Xander: I swear, I'm hurrying home.

  She sent me a smiley face in return.

  Imani: You do that.

  9

  Imani

  I rolled my shoulders. Between rehearsals ramping up and a problem with a campaign at work for Xander, I’d barely seen him all week. I missed him. I’d told him I’d stay for as long as he wanted me. Was he tired of me already?

  God, that was some weak bullshit. I had a home to go to. I couldn’t freak out because he was busy.

  Focus on what’s real. Reluctantly, I dragged my attention back to rehearsals.

  “Imani, that was great. Let's take it from the top of that scene again. Ryan, remember to give her something to work with. Make me believe that you love her but you can't deal with seeing her as your equal. I want to believe. I need to feel it, otherwise your audience won't. And watch your lines in the middle there. I think you skipped around. Watch Imani for your cues."

  As Charles went back to his seat, Ryan's handsome face creased into a frown. While I was on today and completely in my element, he seemed off, unfocused. All day he'd been flubbing lines and missing his cues.

  When we turned to take our positions downstage, I leaned in. "Where are you today? The longer you’re out of it, the longer we have to stay."

  The muscle in his jaw ticked. "Are you seriously going to marry that photographer?"

  I blinked. "What?"

  "I saw it in OK Magazine. I thought he was kidding when I ran into you at Rooftop Gardens.”

  "What business of yours is it if it's true or not?" Was he high? That would account for his current level of crazy.

  He spoke through clenched teeth. “Come on, Imani. You know how I feel about you."

  The bile threatened as my skin crawled. What the fuck was he saying? "And I have been honest as to how I feel about you, Ryan. I would rather have my skin peeled off without the benefit of anesthesia than voluntarily be near you." I didn't bother to look at him as I settled on my mark. I could feel him staring at me, but I resolutely refused to look at him.

  Eventually he got with the program, and the rest of rehearsal went smoother. Ryan was more focused and gave me someone to act against, so it made my life easier. But it was one of the longest rehearsals we’d had to date, and I was done.

  As my luck would have it, just before Charles released us for the day, I saw Xander at the top of the auditorium.

  Even if his beautiful features were masked by the darkness, the way he moved gave him away. Also, the freshmen tittering in the corner as they gawked at him were a pretty good indicator of who stood in the shadows.

  When I finished and said goodbye to everyone but Ryan, I took my time climbing the stairs, letting my hips sway with each step.

  By the time I reached him, a devilish smile played across his lips. "You do love to tease a bloke, don't you?"

  "Was I teasing?" I cocked my head. "I wasn’t aware of any teasing. I just walked up the stairs." God, I’d missed him so much. I was in dangerous territory of really needing him.

  He gave me the devil's own grin. "If we're being honest, love, I'm not sure who had the better view, me or that tosser you call an ex."

  I shrugged off the shadow that crawled through me at the mention of Ryan. “If you like, I can give you the same walk later."

  "Deal." His voice was light and he smiled at me, but it didn’t reach his eyes.