“You don’t want her to stay at home?” Maya asked.

  I rolled my eyes. “We’ve been having this battle for months,” I told her. “He wants me to have the full uni experience, but I want to stay at home.”

  “She thinks I can’t cope without her.” Dad cocked an eyebrow making Maya giggle. She’d giggled a lot during the last hour or so.

  “And do you think you can?” she asked him.

  “Of course I can,” he scoffed. “She’s the one who can’t even make decent scrambled eggs.”

  “Dad, who would get you out of bed on time for work if I wasn’t here?”

  He narrowed his eyes on me and then grinned. “Maybe you have a point.”

  I turned to look at Maya, and my breath hitched. She was gazing at both me and dad and her eyes were glistening. She’d told me that her mum and dad lived in Scotland and that she missed them, so maybe that was what had made her emotional.

  “What about you, Maya?” I asked. “Where did you go to uni?”

  “Sheffield. Not the best for my course, but,” she laughed and shook her head, “believe it or not, I didn’t want to leave home either.”

  “See.” I pointed at Dad. “Not everyone wants to go away to Uni.”

  “Exactly.” Maya laughed and nudged Dad in the ribs. “Not everyone wants to leave their dad.”

  “Don’t encourage her.” The smile that he gave to her was as gentle as I’d ever seen him give. It was just like the ones he gave to me when I was worried, or scared, when he wanted to reassure me. He’d give me that smile and then say, ‘Take my hand.’

  I didn’t want to spoil their moment, but suddenly I felt like I shouldn’t be there. It wasn’t exactly a private moment between them, but it was obvious they were both falling quickly for each other, and they should have been able to do that without me ogling them.

  “I’m just going to the loo,” I told them.

  Dad’s eyes tore away from Maya’s and met mine. “Do you want a desert, sweetie pie?”

  I almost told him my favourite, brownie’s with ice cream, but then remembered that maybe Zak might come over.

  “I’m fine, thanks.”

  “Maya?”

  She shifted in her seat and licked her lips before shaking her head. Dad blew out his cheeks, and I realised that the private moment was fast approaching. Me disappearing for a few minutes would be good for them.

  “Just get the bill, Dad,” I told him. “If we fancy anything we’ve got some ice cream in the freezer.”

  Dad swallowed and then cleared his throat. “Good idea.”

  As I left them alone, I would have put money on Dad creeping across the landing later, and it made me smile. I was happy for him, and even if he and Maya only lasted a short time, he’d experienced something with someone who was more than just a hook up. He deserved that because it was time he thought about himself for once and maybe me going away to uni would be good for him, too.

  Zak’s WhatsApp Messages

  ZAK

  It’s official I have a girlfriend!

  OSCAR

  That was quick. You haven’t even been talking to her for long.

  ZAK

  You know I hate that talking shit. She’s out with her dad and the woman he’s seeing tonight but think I’m going to go over later.

  OSCAR

  Message me the deets!

  ZAK

  Fuck off!

  OSCAR

  Shit you really do like her. I’ll call you tomorrow just off out with Sarah.

  ZAK

  SARAH JACOBS!! When did that happen?

  OSCAR

  It’s not! We’re in charge of prom after party so we’re checking out venues.

  ZAK

  I thought Luke’s parents said you could have it there??

  OSCAR

  Changed their minds because he got caught smoking a spliff! He’s a dick anyway.

  ZAK

  Told you that in year six! Speak tomorrow mate. Say hello to Sarah for me. Oh and tell her to tell Deacon I’ll message him about him staying here when he comes to check out the Uni.

  OSCAR

  Will do.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Will

  Maddy had gone up to her room, leaving Maya and I alone in my living room. The fire was on, flickering artificial flames, the lights were down, and we were both nursing a beer. We’d been talking so much we’d barely taken a drink since we’d sat down almost an hour before. I didn’t think I’d ever felt as at peace as I did then.

  There’d been times of great happiness in my life, mostly since I’d become a dad. Maddy was a constant joy. Times at the bar had been fun—some nights we’d laughed until our sides ached. I think Marcus had actually snorted beer down his nose on one occasion. Peace, though, that I’d never felt. There’d always been a worry in the back of mind while I was laughing or watching my daughter with pride. There’d always been bills to pay, orders to place or worries if Maddy was happy or being bullied.

  Sitting next to Maya, knowing Maddy was safe upstairs, happy and enjoying her life, everything felt… fuck, I didn’t know how to describe it other than serene. Like I was lying in the warmest pool, feeling boneless, floating around with not a single worry in my head.

  “But my brother Jack’s mother-in-law, Carol, is a horrible woman,” Maya said, continuing the story she’d been telling me.

  I laughed, loving hearing about her family. Maybe it was because I didn’t have one of my own, or maybe I just loved hearing her voice.

  “Why is she horrible?”

  She screwed up her face. “Apart from the fact that she was my history teacher in secondary school and hated me, she’s too strict with Jack’s kids and Daisy’s only six, George, is four and Claudia is two. They should be allowed to have fun before real life starts.” A giggle erupted. “Although Daisy did wrap her favourite necklace in toilet paper and flush it down the loo.”

  “Sounds like she deserved it. Spoilsport.”

  Humour flashed through her forest-green eyes. “I might have wrapped it in tissue for her.”

  She giggled again, and all the sweetness and joy of it wrapped around me, making me want to stay there with her for as long as humanly possible.

  “Anyway,” she continued, “this boyfriend of Maddy’s, what’s he like?” She pulled the thick wool throw over her shoulder and looked at me expectantly.

  “You cold?” I asked, leaning towards the fire. “I can turn it up.”

  “No.” She hugged her shoulders up towards her ears. “I’m lovely and toasty.”

  “Just say if you are.”

  She shook her head. “I will, but tell me about Maddy’s boyfriend. What’s he like? Do you like him?”

  I shrugged. “He seems like a nice kid. Has ambitions to be a vet, comes from a nice family, and is polite.”

  “And he treats Maddy okay?”

  I felt myself tense and my skin start to itch. “As far as I know. They’re pretty new. Just talking, or so I’m told.” I thought back to them sitting close to each other in my kitchen. Then how they’d pulled apart when I walked in. “I think there might be more than talking going on, though.” I shuddered, and Maya laughed.

  “She’s seventeen, Will. There’s a good chance she’s kissed more than one boy.”

  “No, she hasn’t.” I knew that probably wasn’t true, but in my head it was.

  “Okay, what about your bar? Tell me about that.” She put her bottle down on the coffee table and scooted a little closer to me. “I know it’s in the centre of the town and that it was run-down but what’s it like inside?” She waved her hands around and shook her shoulders. “What’s its vibe?”

  I groaned. “Don’t ever ask that question again or do that action.” I circled my finger around. “That was weird.”

  Maya grinned. “Was it unattractive? Have you gone off me?”

  “Too bloody right.”

  Laughing, our eyes latched on each other’s, and when a tiny tear appeared at the corner of Maya’s, I reached up to wipe it away with my thumb.

  “You’re beautiful,” I whispered, stretching my fingers to lace into her hair at her temple. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen eyes as gorgeous as yours before.”

  “I’m sure that’s not true.” She curled her lips inwards and looked down at my hand resting on her thigh over the blanket.

  She looked a little shy, but she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. I wasn’t lying.

  “How about your friend, Morgan?” I asked, grinning at her shyness. “How’s she feeling after her divorce?”

  “Loving life.” She rolled her eyes. “Too much. Every time I speak to her, she’s either hung over or getting ready to go out to a party.”

  “Enjoying herself then?”

  “Seems so. Who knew divorce could be so much fun.” She moved a little closer. “And you’ve really never fancied it? Getting married?”

  “Nah. Besides, I had Maddy. She took up all my time and to be honest, I never met anyone who I wanted to settle down with.” Until now…maybe.

  “You didn’t want to find a mum for her?” Maya asked, resting her chin on her hand, listening intently to me. “It must have been hard, though, just you taking care of her and running the bar.”

  “Yeah, at times, but my friends Sam and Louise have been brilliant. More like an aunt and uncle to her. They had her overnight, after school, they even took her on holiday a couple of times when I couldn’t get away from the bar.”

  “Were they the ones who took her to Spain?”

  I smiled that she remembered I’d told her about that. “No, when she was younger. Her and Liam are like cousins, so they had a great time.” I grinned, recalling how she’d come back from a week in Cornwall full of tales of catching crabs in rock pools, swimming in the sea. and eating huge pasties covered in sand.

  “They sound like good friends to have.”

  “They are.”

  I knew I was lucky, not many twenty-year-olds who found themselves with a baby had the opportunities that I’d had. Not everyone had a Miriam or a Sam and Louise. The blessings I’d been given were nothing short of miraculous. Maddy and I could quite easily have been living in poverty, struggling from day to day, wondering how I was going to pay the bills, or even put food on the table. My life had been charmed somewhere along the line, and the gratitude I felt was endless.

  Just the flip of a coin. If I hadn’t trusted Miriam, if I hadn’t been desperate to move on from the bar I was working in, I might have still been working in other people’s bars. I could still be bringing home a shit wage each week, relying on my smile to get some decent tips so that I could afford more than Pot Noodles to eat. Maddy might be living with a nice family, but she could have equally been shipped from one foster family to another and be a troubled teenager. No, I was definitely blessed.

  “I don’t think I always realise how lucky I am to have my family,” Maya sighed. “How easy my life has been. No family drama, my parents are still together, I actually get on with my siblings, and when I wanted a Barbie bike when I was seven, I got one. No questions asked.”

  “I had a Barbie once,” I informed her, recalling the worst Christmas I’d ever had.

  “You did?”

  I nodded. “The foster family I was with didn’t really want me there at Christmas. They hadn’t bought me anything and I was lucky they even let me sit down to lunch with them. I think the wife felt a little guilty, so gave me one of the dolls they’d bought for their own daughter.”

  Maya gasped. “No way. That’s awful, Will. Did that happen a lot? You going to foster families that didn’t really want you?”

  “One or two. To be fair to them, I was an emergency placement, seeing as I’d pissed my last foster dad off big style when I threw a brick through his car windscreen. He said he didn’t care that it was two days away from Christmas—I wasn’t welcome any longer.”

  Maya’s eyes filled with emotion, and I took her hand in mine.

  “I was my own worst enemy, Maya. Don’t feel bad for me. I threw the brick just because he asked me to tidy my room.”

  “I just feel awful that you were brought up in the system.” She frowned. “How are you so together?”

  I laughed, not sure that was true. “If I am, which is debatable, it’s down to Mrs Powell.”

  “The lady who fostered you as a teenager?”

  “Yeah. She was brilliant. She was an incredible grandma to Maddy, too.” I sighed heavily. “We both still miss her a lot.”

  “Tell me about her.”

  “Not much to tell, really.”

  “There must be,” she argued, poking me in my side. “I’ve told you about my family, so you tell me about yours.”

  I thought about Mrs P and her shiny blue eyes that twinkled when she smiled and went steely when she was telling me to stop being a dick. For a long time, I’d just seen her as another adult who told me what to do, but I’d been so wrong. Within six months she’d managed to change me from a moody, insolent brat into a… moody, well-mannered brat who did whatever I could to gain Mrs P’s approval. I did all that because she listened to me, she gave me a hug when I needed it, a bollocking when it was deserved, and she encouraged me at every opportunity.

  “She was the mum I hadn’t had since I was a little kid,” I told Maya. “Never once was I made to feel unwanted by her. She knew that I wasn’t particularly academic, so helped me to think of jobs that I would be good at, like bar work. Well, actually she suggested retail or even care work, but I wasn’t sure that looking after other people was my thing.”

  “How did you get into bar work then?”

  “Started washing glasses in a pub, and then when I was eighteen they offered me a shift behind the bar, and I loved it. Loved that my feet were always wet and that my clothes stunk of beer.”

  “And the women flirting with you?” she smirked.

  I shrugged. “It helped. I never looked back really. Took one bar job after another, and with each one, took on more responsibility. Until finally I got my own place. I wouldn’t have done any of that without Mrs Powell.”

  “You never called her, Mum?”

  “It had never crossed my mind to, mainly because even though I’d mostly grown up in the system, my mum had tried her best and she’d loved me.” I shrugged. “I had a mum.”

  Maya licked her lips, and while I knew it wasn’t meant to be a turn-on, it was, and I had to concentrate hard not to kiss her.

  “What happened to your mum, if you don’t mind me asking?”

  “Heart attack.” As always the word came out full of indifference. It had been over twenty-five years since she’d died and with each passing year, she’d faded more and more into the past. Memories of her had become fainter. “She was only thirty-two but had a congenital heart condition.” Maya’s eyebrows rose. “Maddy and I are both fine, we’ve been tested.”

  She exhaled and nodded. “That’s good.”

  “Mrs Powell got me tested, and then I got Maddy tested when she was about four. And before you ask, I never knew who my dad was. He disappeared before I was born. All I have of him is a letter to her saying he wasn’t interested in being a dad. Mum did her best, worked a couple of jobs and provided for me as much as she could. I was clean and fed and happy. I was a little shit, but I was happy. It was just us seeing as her mum kicked her out at sixteen and then moved away without telling her where she was going. She was a good mum to me, though, from what I remember.”

  “And then she died.”

  Her words were said with sadness, and I hated it. I’d stopped feeling sad. Yes, I loved my mum, but I barely knew her, and she’d become a kind of a myth a long time ago.

  “She did and then I eventually found Mrs P.” I grinned, still wondering how I’d been so lucky.

  “No wonder you’re so dedicated to Maddy.”

  “I just want her to have as normal a life as possible, even if it is with only one parent.”

  Maya’s eyes softened. “I think you’ve managed it.”

  My chest tightened as I thought about my daughter. The love I had for her was too big to contemplate. It was hard to describe how it made me feel. Fulfilled, proud, lucky, scared were only the edges of the emotions she evoked in me.

  “She’s my biggest achievement.”

  Maya’s head rested on the back of the sofa, her eyes latched on mine, and instantly the atmosphere changed. What had been soft and easy became intense and electrified. The rhythm of my breathing changed; it sped up but was shallower with each inhalation. Never had I ever wanted a woman as much as I wanted Maya. Never had I ever felt so desperate to kiss someone yet been so scared to do it at the same time.

  We’d kissed before, but it felt like the next one between us would be life-defining. It would determine how our lives might change. If it wasn’t perfect, she might decide to disappear, and already I knew that if she did, it would be an opportunity lost for something incredible.

  Unable to hold back any longer, I leaned forward and cupped Maya’s face. My thumb rubbed along her bottom lip, pouty and pink and desperate to be kissed.

  “You’re so beautiful,” I whispered. “The most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”

  “I don’t know about that.”

  “Yeah, you are.” I studied her, my eyes taking in every inch of her clear complexion, losing myself in the depths of the green jewels staring back at me. “I don’t want to sound cheesy, but I really need kiss you.”