A lump formed in my throat as I thought about the years when it had just been me and my Mads. At times it had been hard, but in the most she’d made it easy for me. She’d been a great kid to bring up. My little teammate and now she was leaving me.

  “Shit, if I feel like this now, how will I cope the day she leaves?”

  Maya kissed me gently. “I’ll hold your hand, don’t worry. Always.”

  Now was the time to let Maddy go and start a new team. I reached down the side of the bath underneath the towel I’d placed there and pulled out the small black velvet box. As Maya washed her arms, I flipped open the box, and cleared my throat of the nerves, and moved my shaking hand in front of her.

  She didn’t notice immediately, but when I kissed the back of her neck she looked up and instantly squealed.

  “Oh my God, Will.”

  Turning around to face me, water sloshed over the sides of the bath onto the tiled floor as a small tidal wave formed around us.

  “You mean it?” she asked, her palms flat against her cheeks. “Really?”

  “Yes, gorgeous,” I whispered. “I mean it. I love you and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I can’t imagine not spending it with you.” Mesmerised by her beauty, I drew in a breath, unsure how I’d been so lucky. “Love wasn’t something I was looking for. I didn’t think I wanted it, but you, shit, Maya, you changed all of that. I love everything about you, your heart, your laugh, your jokes, your body, your lips, everything, but most of all I love how you love my daughter. So,” I said, blowing out a breath, “will you marry me?”

  “Yes,” she screamed. “Yes, of course I will. Please put that beautiful ring on my finger.”

  As soon as it was on, she threw her arms around my neck and kissed me like she needed it to survive. More water splashed over the sides and when Maya straddled me, we were left with only a small amount left in the bottom of the bath.

  “I love you,” I told her. “So, fucking much.”

  Maya’s bottom lip trembled as she traced my eyebrow with her finger, her gaze fixed on me. “I love you, too and I can’t wait to be your wife.”

  Then, in a few inches of water, I made love to my fiancée and made her scream my name as the diamond on her finger twinkled just like her eyes.

  Maya’s Diary Entry

  I can’t believe it, I’m engaged! Will proposed and it was perfect. The ring is beautiful and he’s incredible and I am the luckiest person in the world. My mum and dad went crazy on the phone. As for Morgan and Loretta they’re already talking about what colour bridesmaid’s dresses they want. Maddy was so happy for us, but she already knew because she went with Will to choose the ring. Well, she’s got good taste.

  I didn’t think I could ever be this happy. Well, there is something else, but I don’t know for certain which is why I haven’t told Will, but I think I’m pregnant. It had to be when I was on my pain meds, I think I might have missed a pill. I probably should have got a test today while he was out with Maddy, but I can go tomorrow. And flash my engagement ring at the pharmacist lol!

  I’m so unbelievably lucky and happy and it’s all down to him. Will. The love of my life.

  Zak’s WhatsApp Messages

  ZAK

  Hey Oz, you okay mate? Just wondering if you fancy coming up for mine and Mad’s leaving party. Maddy’s dad is putting it on in his bar for us. It’s all on him, beer and everything. Mention it to everyone, except Connie of course. It’s on the 19th of next month. You can all stay at ours, sleeping bags and stuff in our basement – don’t worry it’s nice down there!

  Oscar

  Sounds great mate and you don’t even need to mention her. No one is talking to her after that stunt she pulled. Even Dan dumped her, and he’s desperate to work for her dad.

  ZAK

  She’s a piece of work and Maddy is worth a thousand of her.

  OSCAR

  Pretty serious between you and Maddy then seeing as you’re going to uni together!!!

  ZAK

  I guess so. We’re going to be living together but I’ve seen my schedule and it’s fucking crazy. We’ve agreed to still enjoy the uni life and go out with friends, plus we’re studying in different places, but I’d hate it if she wasn’t there… so yeah, pretty serious (Smiley face emoji). IYKYK

  OSCAR

  Pleased for you mate even if you are a soppy melt (Laughing emoji). I’ll let you know who’s up for coming to the party.

  ZAK

  Great. Speak soon mate.

  Epilogue

  Maddy

  Iwasn’t sure standing at a graveside at a wedding was the done thing, but I had to come and talk to Ana. It had been a few months since I’d last been, so I had a lot to tell her. There were fresh flowers already in the pot, but I had some of my own to leave.

  “Hey, Ana,” I whispered, crouching down to touch the small stone angel which marked where her ashes had been buried. “Sorry it’s been a while, but things have been a bit manic as you can imagine. There’s loads to tell you, though. Firstly, the wedding. It was beautiful. I cried of course, because you know me, and Dad did, but you know him, too.” I laughed with a little sniff because unbelievably there were still some tears left. “Emma and Liam are back together, at least I’m pretty sure they are. Seeing as I walked in on them having sex at her mum’s house the other day! I went to talk about some last minute things for today and she’d already messaged me to say just come in as she was painting her nails. So, I did, but if Liam’s bare arse pumping between her legs was her painting her nails I don’t ever want a manicure from her.”

  As the leaves of the tree that I was standing next to rustled, I placed a hand against my heart. I wanted to think it was Ana laughing with happiness seeing as we’d already been through the trauma of their breakup, six months into uni. The distance had been too much, they’d both been pretty heartbroken about it, but it appeared things had changed

  “Liv has a new boyfriend. We haven’t met him yet, but she seems happy and apparently in her words, ‘he’s very adept at oral sex.’” When the leaves rustled again I knew for sure it was Ana.

  “As for me,” I continued, “I’m so bloody happy, especially today. Everything seems to have fallen into place for us, and I can’t believe how lucky I am.” I sighed heavily and laid down the flowers. “I wanted you to have these because you should have been here in person, Ana. You should have been the one standing by my side so hopefully these make you feel a part of it.”

  When I heard a noise behind me, I looked over my shoulder to see Zak leaning against the church wall, watching me. The smile which he gave me was brighter than the sun, and held so much love and tenderness, I felt more tears well. As I stood to my full height, he pushed off the wall and started to walk towards me.

  “You okay?” he asked, taking my hand in his when he reached me.

  “Just filling her in,” I told him, glancing at Ana’s angel. “I always said she’d be part of the important parts, no matter what.”

  “I think leaving your bouquet for her is a beautiful idea.” He leaned in and gave me a soft kiss. “I love you, Mrs Hoyland.”

  I exhaled a breath which was a mixture of content and joy, my heart feeling full to bursting. Today was our wedding day, and I had desperately wanted Ana to be with me in some way, so inside the bouquet was a photograph of us laughing together when we were about fifteen. It was hard to believe it had been almost seven years since she’d left us, because the pain still felt as raw as it had that day.

  So much had changed since that day. Emma, Liv and I had become closer than sisters, no matter how many miles were between us, my family had grown from just me and Dad and now, as of half an hour ago, I was married to Zak. We already lived together in Manchester where we both worked, me as a social worker, and Zak as a vet in a city centre practice, but today was the day I’d been waiting for since he’d proposed a year ago. Apparently, he had planned a romantic meal and some soft lighting, but we were out walking in the park and got caught in a summer storm. He said the joy on my face as I made him dance with me in the rain, persuaded him to ask me there and then. We then ran home, and he got the beautiful square cut diamond ring from his sock drawer and put it on my finger.

  “We should get back,” Zak said, taking a tendril of my hair and holding it between his fingers. “The photographer wants to do the shots with us and our siblings.”

  I grinned thinking about the fact I even had siblings. For so long it had been me and my dad and while I’d loved it, I loved it even more now.

  “Okay, let’s go.”

  As I gave one last look at the angel, Zak held out his hand and I happily took it, grateful for the abundance of love in my life and my heart.

  Will

  As people milled around outside the church, I was taken back to a similar scene five years before. Maya and I had married here, and while it had been a much smaller affair, it had been just as happy. We also had an eight month old baby at the altar with us as we took our vows, but who gave a shit. I certainly didn’t. Now that baby, Ivy, was a bossy five year old, who along with her three year old sister, Dolly, were running around and squealing while Oscar, Zak’s best man, chased them around, threatening to eat them if he caught them.

  “He’s going to be a great dad,” I said to his pregnant fiancée, Ruby, who was standing next to me.

  “I know,” she sighed, flicking her long red hair over her shoulder. “I’m not sure he’s realised he’s not actually a child.”

  As I laughed and continued to watch my youngest children, I felt her presence behind me. My beautiful Maya. When she put her hand between my shoulder blades, my skin warmed, even though her touch was over my shirt and jacket.

  “They’re having fun,” she said, her expression one of awe as she watched over her daughters. “Let’s hope it tires them out for tonight.”

  They were both good sleepers, but when Maddy and Zak were home, they wanted to be constantly by their side, even sneaking into their bed on occasions. That meant they wouldn’t want to leave the party tonight when it was their bedtime.

  “It’s good of Liv’s cousin to babysit them in the hotel room,” I replied, turning to her. “Although I think the fifty quid I offered her helped.”

  Maya rolled her eyes. “I told you it was too much, and we could have put jackets on the floor under the table if they fell asleep.”

  “Have you forgotten my eldest daughter is a family social worker?”

  Maya burst out laughing. “As if she’d report her own parents, besides it was her idea.”

  My heart swelled at Maya referring to us both as Maddy’s parents, because they really were like mother and daughter. Maya had always let Maddy know she could rely on her for anything, because she loved her like a daughter. She’d also made it clear she didn’t expect to replace her mum. Maddy said that she didn’t know or remember her mum, so Maya wasn’t replacing anyone and even if she was, Maddy was glad it was Maya because she loved her. She didn’t call Maya mum, but that was how she referred to her when asked, as well as writing Mum in any cards or messages she sent. As for her little sisters, she adored them almost as much as they adored her. We were just one big, happy family who occasionally argued, often laughed and rarely cried.

  “I wonder if we might be attending another wedding soon.” Maya nodded towards the side of the church. Liam and Emma were gazing into each other’s eyes as he held her hand against his chest.

  “Mads said they were back together.” I laughed and pointed to Sam and Lou who were talking to Marcus and his latest girlfriend. “He’ll have a dicky fit if he’s got to shell out for a wedding, he’s a tight bastard.”

  “You really think Louise will let him skimp on anything.” Maya grinned, knowing exactly what the answer was.

  “Well, I doubt Emma’s mum will be able to pay towards it, seeing as she’s living it up in Tenerife.” I for one was glad she was in a different country. Me being married to Maya hadn’t stopped her from flirting, or groping me, whenever she saw me.

  “The problem is, love,” Maya said with a smile, “you’ve got two more to pay for.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Christ, don’t remind me. I think I’d better start saving now.” Zak and Maddy had been going to pay for their wedding themselves, but—call me old -fashioned—I told them no. I was Maddy’s dad, so it was my responsibility. Lisa and Jim, Zak’s parents, had insisted on paying for the party at night, but everything else had been Bank of Dad, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

  “Ah here’s the happy couple now,” Maya said softly, gripping my forearm. “God, she’s so beautiful.”

  And she truly was. Maddy’s sleeveless dress was fitted to mid-thigh and then flared out with a short train and made of blush coloured lace, or so I was informed, it was an exquisite compliment to my daughter’s beauty.

  “Hey, Dad,” she said, getting on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek.

  My heart stuttered as I looked down at her hand in Zak’s because I knew he had taken my place as her protector.

  “You okay, love?” Maya asked.

  I nodded; not sure I could get any words out past the lump in my throat. “Yeah,” I eventually managed and turned my gaze on Zak.

  “It’s your turn now, Zak,” I said, my voice breaking.

  He nodded and brought their joined hands to his chest. “I know.”

  “And you make sure you do it right because it’s an honour and a privilege.”

  Another nod. “I know that, too, and I swear nothing or no one, especially not me, will ever hurt her.”

  It was my turn to nod before I turned my attention to Maddy. “You saw Ana?” She nodded. “And you’re fine?”

  “I’m okay, Dad,” she replied, grinning at me. “I’m not sad, I’m really happy. Are you okay? You look a bit serious.”

  “I’m fine, sweetheart, but I want you to know that even though you have Zak, I will always be here for you.” I drew in a shaky breath and lifted her hand, the one not in Zak’s, and kissed the top of it. “You, Madeline, are my first born, my first love, and with your sisters, my greatest achievement. I don’t know if you have any idea how precious you are.”

  Maya squeezed my arm and sniffed, and I smiled, knowing that she was crying— again. My gorgeous wife the big softy. When I then looked at Zak, I knew my daughter had chosen well, because his eyes were lit up with wonder and love as he watched Maddy. There was no doubt he would do as I asked.

  Then smiling at Maddy, I said, “Take my hand.” And, without hesitation, for one more time, my daughter gave it to me, and I felt a sense of peace that only a man whose life was full of love could feel.

  THE END

  Acknowledgments

  Thank you all for reading this book, it really has been a true labour of love, in the best way.

  Your continued supported is appreciated and has allowed me to continue to follow the dream I’ve had since I was eight years of age.

  The biggest gratitude to Lily and Nancy for giving me the help I desperately needed with the ‘teenage speak’. As well as explaining how relationships work these days.

  David, I just love you, nothing else to say.

  Finally, the most important thank you goes to my dad. Gone but never ever forgotten.

  Take My Hand Playlist

  Found on Spotify

  Not Nineteen Forever – Courteeners

  Lovers In A Past Life – Calvin Harris, Rag ‘n’ Bone Man

  Jealous – Nick Jonas

  All My Friends – Snakehips, Tinashe, Chance the Rapper

  Dakota – Stereophonics

  Naïve – The Kooks

  Dive – Olivia Dean

  One Kiss – Calvin Harris, Dua Lipa

  She Moves In Her Own Way – The Kooks

  Made For Me – Muni Long (With Mariah Carey)

  The Weekend – Michael Gray

  Last Request – Paolo Nutini

  Hell N Back – Bakar ft Summer Walker

  Helium – Sia

  Never Let Me Go – Florence + The Machine

  Tennessee Whiskey – Chris Stapleton

  Too Lost In You – Sugababes

  Levitating – Dua Lipa

  Sailor Song – Gigi Perez

  Fix You – Coldplay

  Take My Hand – Picture This

  Beneath Your Beautiful – Labrinth, Emeli Sande

  These Words – Natasha Bedingfield

  Nikki’s Links

  If you’d like to know more about me or my books, then all my links are listed below.

  www.nikkiashtonbooks.co.uk

  Nikki Ashton’s Angels Facebook Group

  Nikki’s Audio Books

 

 

  Nikki Ashton, Take My Hand: One Family, Two Generations, Two Love Stories

 

 

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