“Yeah, but that doesn’t include me.”

  He grinned before stealing a kiss. “Babe, I’m sorry but it does. In fact, he asked me especially not to tell you.”

  “What?” I whipped my head around towards the door that Liam and Emma had disappeared through. “I’m practically family. How could he. How could you, Liam?” I yelled.

  Zak laughed loudly and tugged on my hand, pulling me fully into his lap, so that I was straddling him. He was smiling broadly as his hands went to my bum, pulling me closer to the hard on already growing behind his jeans.

  “You know,” he said, “this is a much better way of spending the morning than studying.”

  I leaned in for a kiss, loving how our tongues slowly danced with each other. When he groaned against my mouth, I thrust my hips forward, and rocked against him, relishing in the feel of him against my core. Waves of pleasure were already starting to roll through my body as Zak’s hips met mine in a perfect rhythm.

  “Fuck, Maddy, you’re so fucking perfect,” he moaned against my mouth, his fingertips digging into the denim covering my backside.

  “I wish we could go somewhere,” I whispered, feeling everything build within me.

  “We have to take care of Ana.” His hand moved to my boob and his thumb brushed over my nipple. “But maybe afterwards…” His words trailed off as he kissed me again.

  The feelings I had for this boy were nothing short of intense. He was the sun who brightened my day, and the fire who warmed me from within. We had so many years ahead of us, so many things that we needed to do, yet already I wanted all of that with him. I couldn’t explain to anyone how he made me feel. What he made me want. I was afraid that people would laugh. That my friends would say I was stupid. That my dad would say I was too young. Keeping it a secret was safer, because while it was, I could still believe in it happening.

  “Hey,” Liam’s voice interrupted us ten minutes later. “Ana is still sleeping, so me and Em are going to go and get us something to eat.”

  We looked over to see him standing in the doorway, his arm draped over my friend’s shoulder. She was grinning, looking relaxed and thoroughly satisfied.

  “What did you do?” I gasped.

  She cleared her throat before straightening her shirt. “Do you want anything?” she asked us.

  Zak chuckled, kissed my forehead, and then lifted me from his lap. “I’ll go with you, mate. I think Mads has questions.” He stood up, furtively adjusting his jeans. “Chicken nuggets, babe?”

  I nodded. “And chocolate milkshake.”

  As the boys left, Emma sank down next to me, her grin a mile wide. “Fancy a two man?” she asked.

  “You’re together then?” I asked, unable to hide the excitement it made me feel. My friend with my boyfriend’s friend. It was just perfect.

  “I hope so,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “Seeing as he’s just had his hand in my knickers.”

  We both burst out laughing, clinging together as we embraced the joy we were finding in life. We were so engrossed neither of us heard Ana enter the room until she spoke.

  “Fucking great,” she snapped. “More smug couples to deal with.”

  Then, as we both turned to look at her, she puked all over the carpet.

  Zak’s WhatsApp Messages

  DEACON

  Hey mate. There’s been a change of plan. Thanks for the offer but I won’t need to stay at yours. Mum and Dad want to make a bit of a road trip of it so we’re going direct to York after visiting Manchester. I tried to persuade them, but they think it’ll be good ‘family time’.

  ZAK

  Don’t worry about it Deac. We can catch up some other time. Would have been great to see you, though.

  DEACON

  Why don’t you come here for Nick’s 18th on the 6th. He’s having a big party. Bring your new gf. You can both stay here.

  ZAK

  Yeah? Might be a plan. Let me speak to her and see if she can make it. Think maybe he’d mind if we brought a couple of mates?

  DEACON

  Doubt it. You know how big his house is. His parents are throwing money at the party and he’ll prob have no idea who is there. Let me know but would be good to see you and meet Maggy.

  ZAK

  Maddy!!!

  DEACON

  Shit! Sorry mate. How’s it going anyway? Still in lurrrvvve!!!!

  ZAK

  … (Zak is typing)

  ZAK

  … (Zak is typing)

  ZAK

  It’s going good. She’s pretty special but I’m saying nothing else cos you’ll just take the piss out of me if I do. Hopefully see you soon.

  ZAK

  Hey gorgeous, think you’d be allowed to go to London with me next month? My mate is having an 18th birthday party. Thought we could ask the others if they want to come too. Or at least Liam and Emma. Have you spoken to Ana since we took her home btw?

  MADDY

  I don’t see why not. I’d have to ask Dad and he’s at the bar atm. Sounds good though. I called her but she didn’t answer. She texted me back to say she was going to bed. You’d think sleeping all day would have been enough. I am worried about her. Don’t know why she wouldn’t speak to us about why she was drunk.

  ZAK

  She will when she’s ready. Just be there for her. Funny she wouldn’t let you go in with her, though.

  MADDY

  I know. She’s my best friend Zak. We tell each other everything usually.

  ZAK

  Like I said, give her time. Anyway, better go and do some studying. Can’t pick you up in the morning, Mum needs her car. See you at the gate usual time?

  MADDY

  Yes. Night Zakky 😆

  ZAK

  Fuck is that my new name now!!!

  MADDY

  🤔

  ZAK

  Night gorgeous girl. See you in the morning.

  MADDY

  XOXOXO

  Maya’s Diary Entry

  Poor Will. His long lost dad has appeared, and he has no idea how to deal with it. I’ve stayed at his place the last couple of days, but I have to go into the office tomorrow. I really didn’t want to leave him, though. He’s acting like he’s fine about it, but he isn’t. Especially finding out he has a brother. He says he’s going to think things over for a while before deciding what to do about him. As much as he says he hates the man, I think he’s also curious. Who wouldn’t be?

  I’m honoured that he’s shared it all with me. I know Maddy was the one who asked me to go over there, but he was so glad to see me. We seem to be moving at warp speed, but I don’t care. I really, really, like him, and I honestly think he might be the one. I feel like a giggly teenager just thinking that, but I can’t help it.

  Staying at his house for the last couple of days felt normal. Like it had always been like that. Maddy is gorgeous and sweet, so nice to me, and I think it’s genuine. She asked me after all. Having sex with her across the landing was difficult, but I think we managed to keep quiet! I hope we did. She’s really happy with her new boyfriend, and he seems like a nice boy. Will seems to like him, which says a lot. I wouldn’t want to be him if he ever hurt Maddy, though. Not so sure Will would be as pleasant to him if he did.

  When I go into the office tomorrow, I’m going to ask about home working. That way I could stay at Will’s more. I’ve got my laptop and all I need is a good internet connection and maybe an extra screen. I could see him more often then. Shit. He might not even want to. HAHAHA who am I kidding, he’s mad on me – at least I hope he is. I think he is.

  God, I need to stop acting like I’m sixteen. Maddy is more grown up than I am!!!

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Will

  Moving along the aisles of the supermarket, my head was definitely not on my weekly shopping list. It was split into three.

  First there was my dad and whether I wanted to see him again. Whether I even wanted to think about him again. I had to admit I was curious about him, but was that enough to give him a chance when he didn’t deserve one.

  Second there was my daughter. She’d landed it on me that she wanted to go to London for the weekend. To go to a fucking party! With her boyfriend and their friends. I knew I should let her go. That I should encourage her, because if she enjoyed it, well then maybe she’d seriously consider going away to university. It still didn’t mean I wasn’t shit scared about her going partying with her boyfriend.

  Third, there was Maya. No problems there, other than I didn’t see her often enough. While two hours distance wasn’t massive, it was still too far. It wasn’t a nip around to see her for a quick coffee and chat, distance. Or even a stay overnight and then go to work after morning sex, distance. It was just too bloody far. Especially after having her stay over for a couple of nights. I’d got used to her being there. That had been all it had taken—two nights of her being in my arms and I was lost without her.

  All that was why it was difficult to decide between fresh orange with bits or without bits. It was bloody confusing. As for cereal I thought my head might pop. Maddy was obsessed with the amber, green and red symbols on boxes and the cereal that I liked had more red symbols than anything else. The ones with green looked like they’d taste like cardboard.

  Moving on to the bread aisle, I was surprised to see Ana, Maddy’s friend pushing a trolley around. I knew that since they’d gone into the sixth form they had a lot of free periods, but Ana did the same subjects as Maddy, and she was at school all day. Looking at her, I could see that she didn’t look well. Maybe that was why she wasn’t at school. Shuffling around and leaning on the trolley, she lingered in front of the bagels, then after a few seconds grabbed some and threw them on top of the rest of her shopping. She hadn’t even glanced at the packaging, so much for red, amber and green.

  Manoeuvring my own trolley towards her, I moved up beside her. “Hi, Ana.”

  Her head whipped around, and sad grey eyes looked up at me. “Mr Newman.”

  “No school today?”

  She shook her head, and I noticed how pale she was. Usually, she was made up with her thick eyeliner, mascara and blood red lips, but none of that was present. Instead, I could see her freckles and her youthful complexion. It reminded me how young my daughter and her friends were, trying to take tentative steps into adulthood.

  “I-I should go,” Ana said. “I need to finish this. Mum is waiting for it.”

  “How are your mum and dad?” I didn’t know her parents well, but enough that we called each other about sleepovers and pick-ups from parties.

  She tucked her hair behind her ears and gave me a tight smile. “They’re fine.”

  “And the Martial Arts school, how’s that doing? Busy?”

  She nodded slowly. “Yeah, yep. It’s busy.”

  It was obvious she didn’t want to talk to me, and seeing as I was always tuned in to teenagers, I decided to call it quits, and patted her shoulder. “Well, good to see you. Say hello to your mum and dad for me.”

  She swallowed hard and, with another nod, she walked away and headed straight for the checkout. As I watched her, I wondered what was troubling her, because something definitely was. Following her, I watched her load her shopping onto the conveyor belt and noted the stoop of her shoulders. She barely acknowledged the till assistant, who was clearly chatting to her, which was unlike her. Ana was Maddy’s most exuberant friend, the most confident one who had never been shy in front of me, so I knew that I needed to talk to Maddy when she got home.

  I’d just put enchilada’s into the oven when I heard the front door bang, a bag being flung to the floor, and then a pair of shoes skidding along the hallway as Maddy kicked them off.

  “Cupboard,” I yelled. A grumble was followed by the understairs cupboard being opened and then slammed shut after a few more seconds. “Thank you.”

  “I’m starving,” said the voice at the kitchen doorway. “What’s for tea?”

  Turning to Maddy, I raised an eyebrow. “Hello to you, too.”

  “Hi, Dad.” She grabbed her hair, took a scrunchie off her wrist, and then created what looked like a bird’s nest on top of her head. “So? What is it?”

  “Enchilada’s and salad. Can you lay the table.”

  “Two or three?” she asked, opening up the cutlery drawer.

  “Two. Maya is out with her friends tonight and has to work in the office the rest of the week.”

  “You know you can stay over there, don’t you. I wouldn’t mind.”

  With a half turn of my head, I watched how her lips twitched for a second before she schooled her face and narrowed her eyes on me.

  “I’m old enough to look after myself.”

  “I know. And you also have a boyfriend.”

  She just about resisted an eye roll. “Dad, I am seventeen. Did you forget that?”

  “Nope.” I grabbed the salad tongues and stuck them in the bowl. “I also remember being seventeen, which means I know it’s an opportunity for unofficial sleepovers and what happens at those sleepovers.”

  “I wouldn’t if you said no,” she snapped.

  I wasn’t so sure, but then I never stuck to the rules at that age either. “I’m not saying you can’t have friends to stay with you but it’s just a bit weird for me to think that friend might be male.” I swallowed, preparing for the words I was about to say. “So, if you did ever find yourself home alone and had him stay just be sensible and safe.”

  Maddy flashed a grin, it was quick, but I saw it, before she protested, “Dad, how stupid do you think I am?”

  I shrugged. “Not at all, but sometimes sensibility goes out of the window when you’re in a moment.”

  She fake gagged. “I don’t want you to ever say that again. I’ve just been sick in my mouth.”

  “Can’t promise that, sorry, Madeline.”

  My daughter’s emotions often showed on her face, and the by the look of her pinched lips and raised eyebrows, I’d say she was feeling nauseous. Probably time to change the subject.

  “I saw Ana today,” I said, placing the salad on the table. “Is she okay?”

  Maddy’s eyes went wide. Her expression changed from anger to worry. Something was going on; this wasn’t the first time she’d heard about her friend not being okay.

  “Why do you ask?” She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ears.

  There was no question of where I’d seen her, or what was wrong. I might not know much, but I knew my daughter.

  “Sit down,” I said, pointing to one of the chairs at the table. “And tell me what’s going on.”

  “Nothing is going on.” She looked anywhere but at me, so I knew that was a lie.

  “Now tell me the truth.” I was ready to wait for as long as it took. Thankfully, Maddy’s worry for her friend must have been foremost in her mind, because she confessed straight away.

  “You know her mum messaged to ask if she’d been to school?” I nodded. “Well, the next day she came to school drunk off her face, Dad.”

  “What?” I leaned forward, unsure if I’d heard her properly. “Say that again.”

  As she bit on her bottom lip, I reached for her. “Take my hand, sweetheart, and tell me everything.”

  “She’s been moody for a couple of weeks but seemed to have pulled out of it. Then yesterday, she turned up at school absolutely legless. And I mean literally legless, Dad. She couldn’t stand up. Zak and Liam had to help her walk to Zak’s mum’s car.”

  “So, the boys took her home?”

  “We all took her to Emma’s house and stayed the day there with her.”

  “You all took the day off school?”

  She winced. “I know, and I’m sorry, Dad, but she was in a real state, and we didn’t want her to get in trouble with her parents. Please don’t tell them. I’ve only told you in case we need your help.”

  The trepidation in her eyes was justified, but Ana was more import than Maddy missing a day of school. I was just glad she felt she could come to me for help.

  “What happened at the house? Was she okay?”

  “She puked a few times, and we put her to bed, checking on her. After a while, she got up, but then puked again.” She sighed heavily. “So, we put her back to bed and then eventually took her home. We haven’t seen or heard from her since.”

  I squeezed her hand. “I saw her in the supermarket, doing her mum’s shopping.”

  “Did she look okay?” Maddy’s bottom lip trembled slightly as big brown eyes almost pleaded with me.

  “A bit pale, none of her usual makeup, which is understandable if she was hungover.” As Maddy’s fingers gripped mine, I scrubbed my other hand down my face. “Do you have any idea why she was drunk? Why she’s been moody lately? Because I’m guessing the two are connected.”

  “We just thought she was in a bad mood,” she replied with a shrug. “Then when she stayed here, when you went to the wedding, she was fine. She was laughing and joking and…” Her words trailed off and her shoulders dropped. “How did we not notice, Dad? We should have known something was wrong.”