He put the truck into Drive and pulled away from the curb. A few flakes of snow were spinning down from the sky, visible in the streetlamp’s glow.

  “It wasn’t the kiss,” she said after a moment. “And you weren’t wrong. I told you to kiss me, and you did. It’s fine.”

  “It doesn’t seem fine to me,” he said.

  “It’s all of it,” she said. “This act—the doting husband. Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful. You’re sweet, attentive, affectionate... You can pat yourself on the back for being very good at that stuff, but it’s too much.”

  Seth signaled a turn at a four-way stop. Too much? He’d been nice. Sure, he’d put his arm around her, but they were newlyweds, after all, and there were a few expectations. But they’d talked about this! She’d said she wanted him to act the part of a loving husband, but now that he was doing it, she was upset.

  “We had an agreement,” he said. “We were going to act the doting couple, I thought. Getting mad at me for doing exactly what we agreed to do is ridiculous! Besides, it worked. Everyone is convinced that we got married for the most romantic of reasons, and the stories will be in your favor.”

  “In my favor?” she snapped back. “This is about convincing our community we aren’t committing insurance fraud!”

  “It’s also about how people see us—how much they respect us as a couple,” he countered. “This is personal, too.”

  “Fine.”

  She fell silent, and he navigated the familiar streets, heading for the highway.

  “I’m not mad at you,” she said at last. “I’m just... It’s not your fault, okay?”

  “So if it wasn’t the kiss, what’s upsetting you?” he asked.

  “It’s...hard for me to see you like this—and know it isn’t real.”

  “Real? Our marriage is real. Our vows to take care of each other are real. We’re both in this for the long haul. The only thing that wasn’t real is a romantic connection...but then, a lot of couples act happier or more affectionate in public than they are in private. So, what’s real, anyway?”

  “You’ve had the real thing,” she said with a sigh. “I haven’t. So experiencing a fake version of it stung more than I thought it would.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You don’t need to be,” she said. “I’m just looking forward to the stage where people no longer expect us to be honeymooning. I think it’ll be easier then.”

  He smiled ruefully. “We can be a more distanced couple. I thought you wanted that—the attentiveness, the food fetching.”

  “I thought I did, too,” she admitted quietly. “Turns out I don’t.”

  Fair enough. But not all of it was an act. He’d liked having her with him, looking across the room and knowing she was there. And he’d honestly thought she could use a little bit of doting—hanging out with a family she didn’t know too well, being out with the triplets...

  And she’d been beautiful—the sparkly, holiday kind of beautiful with her black lace dress that made her skin look so creamy and her eyes so bright. He’d been caught up in the moment. Apparently, she hadn’t been.

  “Okay,” he said. “But I think we need to be really clear and honest with each other when it comes to our expectations and all that. Our feelings aren’t going to get hurt over the same things as other couples’, at least. So let’s agree to be completely honest.”

  She was silent for a moment, and he thought maybe she wouldn’t answer him. Then she said, “If you ever want an amicable divorce so that you can move on in a more real way, I’ll give it to you.”

  Any rebuttal he’d been thinking up evaporated. He looked over at her, and found her gaze fixed on her hands in her lap.

  “We talked about this...” he said.

  “One of these days, you’ll heal, Seth,” she said quietly. “And you’ll feel ready to face romance again. I’m just saying, you aren’t stuck with me.”

  “We have an agreement,” he said. “I’m not going back on that.”

  “I’m just saying.”

  “Are you okay?” he asked hesitantly.

  “I’m fine.”

  But was she? The snow started to fall a little thicker and faster as he pulled onto the highway. A semitruck thundered toward them and whipped by, pushing the pickup with a gust of wind. These mountain passes could be dangerous this time of year. He glanced over at her.

  “It seems to me that you’re the one who’s regretting this marriage a little bit,” he said. “You don’t want to be reminded about the romance, the love...”

  “I don’t want the reminder right now,” she agreed. “But that doesn’t mean I want to go find a boyfriend, either. I know what I want—to raise my boys. I want to be a good mom. And I want our oddball relationship to work out, too.”

  “Good. So where is this coming from?” he asked. “Why are you worried about me wanting out?”

  “Your aunt and I were talking when she came to visit,” Gabby said. “And she was telling me about Bonnie, and how when she wanted to move to town you two butted heads over it a lot, and—”

  He clenched the steering wheel in a tighter grip. “She told you that?”

  “Yes.”

  “That was private.”

  “I thought we told each other private things,” she said.

  “Gabs...”

  “I told you everything. I wasn’t holding back. I told you about boyfriends and family, and—and...” She tapered off, and he remembered countless conversations where she’d opened up. Sitting in his truck, hanging out on a summer night, watching movies together in the winter—she’d talked. Constantly. Openly. He was more of a listener. It was what made their friendship work.

  “I just don’t talk as much,” he said feebly.

  “Well, maybe you’d better start,” she replied. “And I’m on your side, Seth! We have to understand each other. I need to know what’s going on with you so I can be your support. We aren’t romantic, but we’re definitely a team.”

  “So what else did she say behind my back?” he asked. His aunt wouldn’t be keeping those little nuggets just between her and Gabby. He knew how family gossip worked.

  “She said that you blame yourself for Bonnie’s death because of that friction between the two of you.”

  He heaved a sigh. The highway’s downhill slope was growing shallower as he steered past a rest stop with a view of the towering peaks behind them. How much had his family discussed behind his back? And how much were they going to unload on Gabby?

  “That’s not true,” he said after a moment.

  “You sure?” she asked.

  Seth sighed. “Maybe a little bit. I wasn’t there when she needed me. That tends to haunt a guy.”

  “I’m just saying,” she said. “You can tell me stuff like that. We need to know where each other is coming from. We need to be open with each other.”

  “And how is my marriage your business?” he demanded. “I’m struggling to see how it’s even Selena’s!”

  “Because if you decide you want out of this marriage, I don’t want it to come out of left field!” Gabby said, her voice shaking. “I don’t want to be sideswiped! I’m your best friend, Seth, and if you’re able to heal and you meet someone who interests you, I want us to be able to end this honorably! I don’t want to lose my best friend!”

  What was she imagining happening, exactly?

  “You’re afraid I’ll cheat?” he asked, struggling to get his mind around her worries here. “Because I’m not like that.”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “Could I blame you for finding romance with someone else? Does it even count as cheating if we’re married for other reasons?”

  He thought he could see what was happening here. She wasn’t secure in their relationship because it wasn’t based on the normal things—passion, desire, love. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t count on him.

  “Okay...” he said quietly. “You need me to be transparent and open with you so you can trust me. Is that it?”

  “I guess that sums it up.”

  “Gabs, you matter to me,” he said. “I mean, you really matter to me. Just because we don’t share a bed doesn’t mean I want to risk losing you. I’m not going to lie to you or do anything behind your back. You can count on me.”

  She didn’t answer, and when he looked over, he saw tears shining in her eyes. It suddenly struck him what was worrying her—and it probably wasn’t how much he told her. She’d been lied to a lot. The father of her children had cheated on both her and his wife. Seth reached over and took her hand. She squeezed his hand back.

  “I’m not like Craig,” he said earnestly. “Okay? I need you to know that. I’m not following a feeling, and I’m not going to lie to you. I made a promise, and you can count on it. I’m coming home to you and the boys. I meant those vows.”

  But he did have to be more open with her. This marriage wasn’t an easy way out of anything. They’d have to trust each other, open up with each other, talk stuff through, just like any other married couple.

  They fell into silence as Seth navigated the winding highway down toward the foothills. He didn’t pull his hand back, though. It felt good to hold her hand. He was glad they’d gotten married for more logical reasons. He’d fallen in love once already—and he’d experienced the gut-wrenching loss of a woman he’d relied on for everything. He didn’t want to go through that again, but he didn’t want to be alone, either.

  “Gabby, I’ll open up more,” he said quietly. He glanced over at her.

  “Yeah?” she said, meeting his gaze.

  He looked back to the road, at the trees growing high and black on either side. He thought he saw the green flash of a deer’s wide eyes in the foliage, reflecting the truck’s headlights, but then they zoomed past. “You’re right. We have to trust each other. And I do blame myself for Bonnie’s death. But it wasn’t because she wanted to move to town.”

  “Then why was it?” Gabby asked.

  He’d never said this aloud before, never admitted it to anyone. Those closest to him obviously saw that he blamed himself, but it wasn’t for the reasons they thought.

  “We fought,” he said, his voice low. “It was stupid. She was upset about some email you’d sent me. It was just our regular way of chatting, but Bonnie didn’t like it. I showed her the reply I sent, and she thought I’d been a bit flirtatious. I hadn’t meant to be. I was just trying to be polite, and I’d been excited about the baby coming, and having that news to share, and maybe I’d come off wrong. Not to you—you understood me. But to Bonnie. Anyway, it was just a stupid couple fight. Everyone has them. But I was tired and stressed out, and so was she. I just wanted air. So I left for a while.”

  “And you missed her call,” Gabby breathed.

  “I hadn’t turned my phone off.” He needed her to understand that part. “But the service dropped, and...” He licked his lips. “She needed me, and I’d left because I wanted some space. And she and our daughter died because of it.”

  “I never thought you were flirting,” Gabby said.

  “I know.”

  “You couldn’t have known what would happen, either,” Gabby said.

  “I’m just explaining.”

  “I’m sorry, Seth. I didn’t know it was me—” Her voice caught.

  “It wasn’t you,” he said curtly. “It was me and Bonnie. You and I were never romantic. Ever. She just couldn’t believe you weren’t in love with me, I guess. Because she was.”

  “I’m glad you told me,” Gabby said.

  “If I’m going to open up more, I have to trust you to keep this stuff between us,” he said.

  “Of course, Seth.”

  He felt better, a bit lighter. He smiled faintly in the low light of the cab. This was a partnership. And of all the women he could have chosen, he felt safest with Gabby Rogers. They’d always been a good team. And he was glad he had her in his life. But what made them best was that they didn’t have those silly romantic squabbles, the kind that tipped him off balance and brought out his worst. He’d watched his father be a jerk to his mom during that acrid divorce, and he never wanted to be that guy.

  He’d be more open with Gabby, and he’d do his best to keep their balance. Their strength, as always, was in their friendship.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  THE NEXT DAY, Seth went to work. It was a relief to have a regular schedule back—at least Seth seemed more relaxed, more cheerful. He left just as Gabby was getting up, and he waved as he grabbed his thermos from the counter.

  “See you for dinner,” he said.

  “See you.”

  She’d been standing there in her bathrobe, her hair all mussed from sleep, and she’d realized belatedly that this would be the image of her he carried with him all day. Bleary, mussed-up Gabby.

  The rest of the morning she spent with the babies, and she went online a little bit, looking at her father’s employee profile. It was him; she could feel it. And he hadn’t written back. He probably wouldn’t. Part of her was tempted to send a second email, just asking for confirmation, but that was silly. If it was her father, it was clear he didn’t want to hear from her.

  Grace called her just before noon, and they chatted on the phone for a little while. Poppy was home from school, sick with a stomach bug.

  “So how are you doing?” Grace asked. “How’s married life treating you?”

  “It’s...” Gabby felt a lump rise in her throat. “It’s not quite what I expected.”

  “Oh...” Grace’s tone softened. “You know, no one warns you about this, but the first year of marriage is tough. It isn’t that you don’t love each other, because you really do, but you’re adjusting to living together, and when you love someone that much, your feelings get hurt when they let you down. It’s normal to fight, so make sure you make up just as passionately...if you know what I mean.”

  Gabby forced a laugh. “Right. Of course.”

  “You sound upset,” Grace said.

  “I’m not. I’m just...tired, I guess. Three babies do that to you.”

  “I can only imagine,” Grace replied. “Billy and I are trying for a baby right now, and I’m a little bit daunted, I have to admit!”

  “Are you really? Oh, that’s great, Grace! You’re already a great mom,” Gabby said. “I’m really happy for you. You married your best friend, and you’ve got it all right now.”

  “So did you,” Grace said, a smile in her voice.

  “Yes, I did.” But it wasn’t the same. When Grace married her best friend, it had been because they’d fallen headlong in love with each other and couldn’t face the thought of a life apart. They’d had to juggle all sorts of things to make it work, but it was worth it. Gabby’s story was a whole lot more pragmatic, and while hiding the truth had seemed like a viable option last week, it wasn’t easy.

  In the background, Gabby heard the sound of Poppy getting sick.

  “Oh, shoot—” Grace said. “I’ve got to go, Gabby!” Then her voice softened. “Poppy? You okay, sweetie? Come here...” The phone hung up.

  Gabby envied her friend just a little bit, even with a sick kindergartner on her hands. She really had hit the jackpot with Billy, because it was real. But Grace had always had a good head on her shoulders, and she’d chosen good guys, even the boyfriends who hadn’t worked out. Gabby’s heart led her in the wrong direction—every time.

  That afternoon, Gabby packed up her sons and drove the forty minutes into Eagle’s Rest to see Aunt Bea. She was tired of keeping up appearances. What she really needed today was her aunt’s practical wisdom. Life could get tangled, and Bea could shake it all straight again. You might look like a fool once she had, but at least things made sense.

  Less than an hour later, Gabby sat at Bea’s kitchen table, and Bea slid a plate in front of her. It held a thick slice of pie with apples and a syrup spilling out onto the plate, and its aroma was sweet and comforting.

  “This looks good,” Gabby said with a grin. “I needed this.”

  “I made it yesterday,” Bea said. “Pie is always best after a night in the fridge.”

  Afternoon sunlight spilled through Aunt Bea’s kitchen window. The babies were asleep in their car seats, and Gabby picked up a fork and pushed it into the flaky crust.

  “So how are you enjoying married life?” Bea asked.

  “Everyone’s asking me that these days. And it’s more complicated than I thought,” Gabby admitted past a bite of pie.

  “It would be,” Bea said. “How’s Seth doing with a houseful of babies?”

  “He’s doing great, actually,” Gabby replied. “He’s been changing diapers, doing bottles... He can tell them apart now, too.” She paused. “It’s easier, Bea. Having a husband. I mean, he isn’t around all the time, but if the boys are awake he always has one of them in his arms. It’s another person to love them, and feed them, and...it’s nice. I feel less stressed out.”

  Bea nodded thoughtfully. “I’m glad. Did the health insurance kick in?”

  “We sent in some receipts,” Gabby said. “Fingers crossed. The formula is prescribed by the doctor, so unless we hear otherwise, we should get reimbursed.”

  “Your mom is really happy for you,” Bea said. “She was telling me that you look content, and she figures Seth will be good to you.”

  Gabby nodded. “Mom is really supportive.”

  “Are you going to tell her the whole story?”

  Gabby shook her head. “Nope. She’s happy. Let it go.” She sighed. “She is rather annoyed that I want to contact my dad, though.”