I finally got our drinks and headed back toward Morgan at our table. But my pace slowed when I realized Dylan and Wren had joined her there.

  “Hey, Dax,” Dylan said. “How’s it going?”

  “Good.” I feigned a smile as I set the drinks down. “You both look amazing.”

  “Thank you. So do you,” Wren said as our eyes met for a moment.

  I sat down and took a long drink of the vodka I’d ordered.

  Morgan placed her hand on my arm. “I’ll take any opportunity to see my handsome man in a tux.” She turned to Wren. “That dress is absolutely stunning.”

  “So is yours.”

  “This old thing?” Morgan laughed. “Thank you. But seriously, yours is breathtaking. Red is definitely your color.”

  “Why, thank you,” Dylan answered. “I picked it out.”

  I sucked in a breath. He’s choosing her clothes? That explained why her tits were hanging out.

  “I could never have afforded this dress,” Wren said. “But I guess Dylan didn’t want me showing up in a romper or ripped jeans, so he took matters into his own hands.”

  I’d like to take him into my hands right now and crush him.

  Incidentally, she would’ve been just as beautiful in her ripped jeans and off-the-shoulder shirt. I loved Wren’s casual style.

  Sensing myself getting lost in my head again, I forced a conversation with Dylan. “Morgan told me about that new client you helped the firm snag,” I said. “Abbott is a huge company. Congratulations.”

  “Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”

  “You didn’t mention that,” Wren said to him. “That’s amazing.”

  “Thank you, beautiful. I was gonna tell you tonight.”

  Swallowing the bitter taste in my mouth, I moved my eyes away from them and turned my gaze to the jazz band.

  The rest of the night was more of the same. I’d look over at them, notice Dylan touching Wren’s leg or rubbing her back, and then force my eyes away. At one point during dinner, I struggled to keep my food down when Dylan ate something off of Wren’s plate.

  After the meal, Morgan and I got up to dance. Dylan and Wren followed a minute later. A time or two, Wren’s eyes found mine as the four of us moved around the dance floor. I’d force myself to look away, only to get caught soon thereafter looking at her again. But she was also looking at me. When Dylan began rubbing his fingers over the deer tattoo on the back of her neck, I started to sweat. If he only knew.

  As I wondered what story she’d told him about that ink, a possessive feeling came over me. This night felt like a turning point. I was kidding myself if I thought I could handle this dynamic. I hadn’t gotten over Wren. Not even close.

  She’s fucking mine. She’s been mine this entire time.

  So where did that leave me? I couldn’t do to Morgan what I’d done to Maren. I couldn’t marry someone I wasn’t completely in love with. I knew I was only headed toward repeating my history of hurting women I cared about. You can’t fall in love with someone when you’re already in love with someone else. Damn that was a hard thing to realize when the person you loved was currently in the arms of another man—and when you’d sworn you could never be with her anyway.

  When the dance ended, I needed a breather. I excused myself to the bathroom. Long after I took a piss, I stayed at the sink, staring at the man in the mirror and hating myself for what I now knew was coming. I had to figure out how to end things with Morgan. I was about to hurt yet another woman I cared about because I couldn’t control my feelings. With Maren, my sin had been not loving her passionately enough. With Morgan, my sin was secretly loving someone else.

  I loosened the bowtie around my neck and prepared to head back out there. As I exited the bathroom, Wren was waiting outside in the small hallway. Her face was as red as her dress.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “I’m having a hard time.”

  “I thought you were happy.”

  “Well, I’m not. I’m just a better actor than you are.”

  My heart sped up. “Things aren’t going well with him? It’s all an act?”

  “They’re going as well as they could be. But you know this isn’t about him.” Wren took a deep breath. “Did you really think I could just come home and switch you off that easily?”

  “I wished you could,” I said.

  “Well, I can’t. I can’t switch you off like it seems you can with me.”

  “Is that what you think?” I looked into her eyes. “You’re wrong, Wren. So very wrong. Have you not seen it in my face tonight? I haven’t been able to take my eyes off you.” I looked out toward the ballroom to make sure no one was coming. “All I fucking do is hurt people,” I whispered.

  “You don’t owe anyone anything, Dax. Not Morgan. Not me. Not even Rafe. You owe it to yourself to be honest about how you want to live the rest of your life. Because life is short.” She started to cry.

  Fuck. My mind raced. Maybe I needed to tell Rafe. Maybe that was the only solution. Then almost as soon as I had the thought, I began doubting it was right. But I couldn’t live like this anymore, and I needed to do something. No matter which decision I made, someone was going to get hurt.

  I nodded. “I’m gonna figure this out, Wren. I—”

  “What’s going on?”

  Morgan’s voice was jarring.

  She looked over at Wren. “Why is she crying?”

  I’d been looking out toward the ballroom for Morgan, but she’d appeared from a different direction altogether.

  Wren nor I said anything. I hoped my face didn’t look as guilty as hers.

  Wren wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said as she rushed past us to return to the ballroom.

  Left alone with Morgan, I knew this was it.

  I’m not gonna lie to her.

  I won’t lie.

  I’m done fucking living a lie.

  The look of suspicion in Morgan’s eyes grew with every second I remained silent. We stood facing each other.

  “Are you going to say anything?” she finally asked. “What the hell is going on?”

  “We need to speak in private.”

  She raised her voice. “No. You’ll tell me right here. Right now.”

  “Outside on the veranda,” I insisted. “Please.”

  She reluctantly followed as I headed for the French doors. When we got outside, I didn’t waste time as I came out with it—the truth.

  “Before she went to Europe, Wren and I…were lovers.”

  Morgan’s mouth slowly opened. “What?”

  “I know you’re shocked.”

  She looked ready to explode. “Does Rafe know about this?”

  The mention of his name made my chest hurt. “No.”

  Morgan grimaced. “How could you get involved with his sister?”

  The air was chilly, but I wiped sweat off my forehead. “It’s more complicated than a simple answer. She and I connected before Rafe knew she was his sister. It wasn’t something I planned. Wren and I are both adults, and it just happened. We ended things before she left because we felt it was the right thing to do.”

  She crossed her arms protectively. “And you never thought to tell me this little factoid?”

  “I didn’t want to hurt you. That’s all there was to it.”

  “Finding out like this was better? Catching you in a lovers’ quarrel?” She huffed. “So…what—why was she crying? She still wants you?”

  When I didn’t say anything, she drew her own conclusion. And it was the right one.

  “You still want her.”

  I took a deep breath as I tried to gather my thoughts. “Things between us weren’t resolved when she left for Europe. And even though a lot of time has passed, I’m afraid things between us are still not resolved.”

  “Why the fuck did you get involved with me if you had feelings for someone else?”

  I ran my hands through my hair. “I thought I’d moved past them. I have genuine feelings and nothing but the utmost respect for you.”

  As expected, she became angrier by the second. “This is bullshit, Dax. I can’t be with you if you have feelings for someone else.” She yelled up at the sky. “Nearly a year of my life down the drain.”

  “It wasn’t my intention to waste your time, Morgan.”

  The evening breeze blew her hair around as she shook her head. “Well, enjoy. Now you’re free to be with your little slut.”

  Whoa. “You can be mad at me all you want, but leave her out of it. She didn’t do anything wrong, and she’s most certainly not a slut.”

  “Only a slut would fuck her brother’s stepfather.” She pointed at me. “And you—who the hell fucks his stepson’s sister?” She rubbed her temples. “God, it makes my head spin just saying it out loud.”

  I was almost relieved she was being so harsh because it lessened the blow of hurting her. Maybe I deserved it, but I still tried to defend myself.

  “It wasn’t cut and dried, as much as you want to paint it that way. We hadn’t known each other for long before we developed a connection. And Rafe and I weren’t as close then as we are now.”

  “That’s your excuse? If you don’t think it’s something shameful, then why not tell him?” When I didn’t answer, her face changed. “I wonder what he’d think if I told him.” She laughed angrily.

  That rattled me. I didn’t know if she was serious, but if Rafe were ever to find out, it was going to be from me—not from anyone else. Over my dead body. “Why would you even joke about that? You think it’s funny to hurt a kid?” I closed my eyes a moment. “Look, I understand you’re shocked and upset. I don’t blame you one bit. But your attitude right now is surprising. I didn’t cheat on you, nor would I. You walked in on a conversation, and I’m sorry about that. I—”

  “You know what?” She began walking back inside. “I’m getting an Uber, and I’m leaving. We don’t have anything more to say to each other.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe this.”

  “We need to talk about this when you’re less drunk and less angry,” I called after her, though I knew there wasn’t much more to say.

  It’s over.

  • • •

  The following morning, paranoia consumed me. I hadn’t wanted to make an even bigger scene, so I’d left the party right after my blowout with Morgan. Would she do something rash to get back at me? Would she see to it that Rafe found out about me and Wren?

  More to the point, how was I supposed to deal with the fact that I couldn’t seem to live without Wren? I wavered between telling Rafe the truth and vowing that he would never find out. Would he understand? Would he forgive me? He was older, more mature now. Then again, he and I were closer now—did that make what I did even more wrong?

  I’d survived a lot of things—estrangement from my family, the death of my wife, losing Wren. But I didn’t think I could survive hurting that boy when I’d been the only constant in his life—when he’d been the only constant in mine.

  I leaned my forearms against the kitchen table and held my head in my hands. Rafe had left earlier this morning for a track meet, so thankfully he wouldn’t have to witness me in this state. I needed to use this time to figure out my next step.

  “Hey,” I heard.

  I looked up to find Rafe standing at the entrance to the kitchen.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, my heart pounding. “I thought you were at your track meet.”

  “I’m not feeling well, so I told the coach I needed to sit this one out. I got a ride home from someone.”

  “You never skip meets. Even when you’re sick.”

  He ignored my comment. “Why did you have your head in your hands?”

  “I’m just…going through some stuff.”

  He continued to stand at the doorway. “Is this about my sister?”

  I froze. All I could manage was, “What?”

  “Are you upset because you’re in love with my sister?”

  What? Panic squeezed my chest. Morgan. She fucking told him. “Did Morgan say something to you?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “I did…a bad thing.”

  He did a bad thing? “What are you talking about?”

  “I read your journal.”

  My throat felt like it was closing. “You…what?”

  His voice shook. “I read your journal. A few months ago, I went into your drawer to look for condoms, and I found that cigar box. I didn’t expect to find a notebook in there, and I wasn’t planning to read it, but the page I opened to had my sister’s name. So I kept reading.”

  Oh no. “So you’ve known about this for months?”

  “Yeah. It was right after Thanksgiving, a couple of months before she came back. I was never gonna tell you. I didn’t want you to be upset with me. But this morning before I left, I saw the pain in your eyes, and I knew I had to do something.”

  I scrubbed my hand over my face. The surprises kept coming.

  “After I found the journal, I confronted Wren.”

  I looked up at him. Wren knows about this?

  “But I swore her to secrecy because I was scared to tell you what I’d done.”

  I buried my face in my hands again, feeling ashamed. I couldn’t even remember what I’d written. It was a total brain dump, especially that night Wren left for Europe. But I knew I’d written about having sex with her. I also remembered writing about falling in love with her.

  “I can only imagine what you think of me right now,” I said. “I’m so sorry you had to find out that way.”

  “Well, you were never gonna tell me. So I guess I would’ve never known at all.”

  “You’re right. I didn’t want to hurt you. For a long while, I never planned to tell you. Our relationship was so damn fragile at first. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, Rafe. Please know that.”

  “I know. I read it all. You said that in the journal. You also said you fell in love with her.”

  There was no denying anything anymore. “I did.”

  “Do you still love her?”

  Without hesitation, I answered, “I do.”

  He nodded, blowing out a breath. “I’m not mad. I mean, it was definitely weird when I first found out. Took some getting used to. But I can see how it happened. It’s not like she grew up with me. And she’s closer to your age than mine. You get along. I used to think she was your girlfriend when I’d see her at the house, before I knew who she really was.”

  “Really? You never said that.”

  “I never said anything back then, remember?”

  “I sure do.”

  “Anyway, Wren told me some stuff went down at the law firm party last night. I don’t want her to be sad. Or you. I saw your face this morning at breakfast. I could see how upset you were. I knew you weren’t gonna tell me, and I was never gonna admit what I did, either. But I don’t want to see my sister sad anymore. So if you hate me for reading your—”

  “Whoa. Hate you?” I interrupted. “Are you freaking kidding me? I’m the one who should be worried that you hate me. The fact that you read my journal makes me uncomfortable, sure. But I don’t blame you. You did what anyone would do in that situation.”

  “I didn’t have to read the whole thing, though.”

  “No, you didn’t. But I can understand why you did. I’m not mad at you. I’m the one who should be apologizing. I don’t want you to hate me for what I did.”

  “I…want you to be happy,” he said. “If it’s with my sister, then it’s with my sister. Whatever you thought the truth might do to me, you were wrong. I don’t hate you. I’ve never hated you.” For the first time since he’d appeared in the kitchen, my blood pressure felt lower.

  “When my mom died, you could’ve left,” Rafe added after a moment. “You weren’t my dad. You weren’t even my friend back then. But you didn’t leave. You stayed. You did everything for me when you didn’t have to. You lost sleep over me. You worried about my grades. You met with my teachers and therapist. And when I got into running, you made as many of the meets as you could and cheered me on from the stands. Since the day Mom died, you’ve put my happiness first—before your own. You…saved me.” He paused. “I’m happy now, Dax. Truly happy.” He approached me and put his hand on my shoulder. “You deserve to be happy, too.” When I looked up at him, he said, “I love you.”

  My chest tightened with a full heart it could no longer contain. I never thought I’d hear those words come out of Rafe’s mouth. I never imagined he could feel that way, but I’d known for a while that I loved him.

  I’d never forget the moment I realized it. He’d collapsed on the track about a year ago at a meet. It turned out he was just dehydrated, but before I knew it wasn’t serious, I’d felt like my life was ending. I realized in that moment that Rafe was my reason for being. He was the reason I’d met Maren. My purpose in life was to help raise him. I didn’t need any other purpose to feel fulfilled.

  I placed my hand over his. “I love you, too, Rafe. Thank you for your forgiveness.”

  “There’s nothing to forgive. Go live your life before you’re too damn old to enjoy it.”

  “Thanks a lot.” I laughed. “You’ve given me a gift.”

  His eyes met mine, this time with a different expression—a look of warning from a protective brother. “Don’t waste it.”

  Dax

  After the weekend, I took some rare personal time off from work to clear my head and think about my next steps. I knew I needed to close things out with Morgan more appropriately, as uncomfortable as that was going to be. But when I showed up at her house a few days after my conversation with Rafe, she refused to talk to me. I’d apparently hurt her far more than I realized. However, after her reaction at the law firm party, I’d become more certain that even if Wren didn’t exist, Morgan was not the right person for me.