Then they were returning to the other room. "We really must do this again some time, Jumper," Sharon murmured.

  He could only agree. The long-term future was dubious, but what a present!

  Wenda was just getting her own clothing back on. The prince was sound asleep on the bed. Jumper decided not to ask her how she had put him to sleep; he had half a notion.

  "He's some man," she said as they followed Sammy back. "He gave me a magic ring to invoke, when—"

  "I understand." All too well.

  "But we are going to complete our mission," she said firmly.

  "Yes," he agreed. But he was beginning to wonder: if Sharon worked for Pluto, who did Charming work for? Surely he was another agent determined to stop their mission. They were entering treacherous waters.

  "I really dew like him," Wenda said, oblivious to Jumper's own situation. "He treats me like a complete woman. There are worse things than being a princess."

  Treacherous indeed.

  They reached the Found Cabin. The girls were playing cards again.

  Maeve was back. She was the first to spy their return. "You found someone!" she exclaimed. "Both of you!"

  Jumper froze. Wenda blushed so deeply that the others laughed. She was able to blush quite well, now that she was soft flesh instead of hard wood.

  "You really must tell us," Jenny said. "We're women; curiosity is our nature."

  "Yew tell them," Wenda squeezed out through her blush.

  So Jumper tackled it. "We found the Little Mermaid. She—"

  "The Little Mermaid!" Haughty exclaimed. "She's from a bl**ping different story."

  "So am I," Jenny reminded her. "Anything can appear in Xanth, and more so in the dream realm."

  "That's right; I forgot. Carry on."

  "It seems she saved a drowning prince, and fell in love with him," Jumper said. "But then he married someone else, a princess. So Mercy—that's her name, Mercy Mermaid—went to work as his servant. But the princess dumped him, and the Heart of Love made him love Mercy instead, but she decided to return to the sea. So now he's interested in Wenda."

  "And she's interested in him," Maeve said shrewdly. "The same way I'm interested in Warren."

  "Exactly the same," Wenda agreed, her blush making a valiant effort to intensify. "Prince Charming treats me like a complete woman."

  "You signaled the stork!" Eve said darkly.

  Wenda's blush threatened to stain the air around her. "Several times," she confessed. "He—the Heart's rebound—he's a virile man."

  "I know exactly how it is," Maeve said. "Now I know how much fun a man can be, when he tries. Did he give you an amulet?"

  "This ring," Wenda said, showing her hand.

  "That's a wedding ring!" Dawn said brightly. "On the wedding finger. You married him."

  "Oh! I didn't know!" Wenda's blush finally overcame her, and she swooned.

  "She's besotted," Haughty said. "It's a wonder she returned for the mission."

  "She is loyal to the mission," Jumper said. "But when it is done…"

  He didn't finish, because his own situation was disastrously similar.

  "And you," Maeve said to him. "Was it that shape-changing wench?"

  "Sharon," he agreed. "She—"

  "Seduced you," Eve said, quick to fathom secrets.

  "Yes. But that's not the worst."

  "There is worse?" Olive asked with mock shock.

  "She's Charon's sister, and Charon is the Demon Pluto's friend.

  They are trying to distract us from our mission."

  "How do you know this?" Eve asked dourly.

  "She told me."

  "Before or after she seduced you?" Dawn asked brilliantly.

  "Before."

  There was half a silence.

  "But I told her we would continue the mission," Jumper said before the silence could be completed.

  "Well, now we know Pluto's strategy," Haughty said. "He's trying to distract us, one at a time, by offering us romantic men. Or a sexy wench for Jumper. Can we handle it?"

  Phanta looked at the blissfully unconscious woodwife. "I suspect we'll have to. Maeve and Wenda are loyal, and Jumper, but the rest of us have not yet been tested."

  "If any one of us deserts the mission," Eve said gloomily, "it will be lost."

  "That's the h**l of it," Haughty agreed. "But what can we do but continue, hoping to be steadfast?"

  "Who's up next?" Phanta asked.

  "I believe I am," Olive said. "With the Head of Mind."

  "Then go to it, girl," Haughty said. "We have time for one more scene before we have to break for food and p**p."

  Olive picked up the head. "I feel so much saner. I'm sure I'll be objective."

  "Until you deliver the symbol," Eve said sinisterly. "Then you'll be your usual ordinary self again."

  "And that's when some handsome man will court you and try to corrupt you," Dawn said dexterously.

  "I know. But if Maeve and Wenda can be true, so can I." She turned to the black cat, who was of course asleep. "Sammy, take us to who needs this."

  The orange doormat became a streak of fur. They were on their way.

  After the usual melange of impressions, they came to a really odd region. It seemed to be a castle, but instead of being mounted atop a mountain, it was sunk into a sizable chasm, so that its highest turret barely projected above the ground. Sammy was snoozing at the brink of the cavity. Obviously he could not take them the rest of the way without a disastrous fall.

  "I think we must be looking for the man in the low castle," Olive said. "Though this does seem like a crazy scene."

  "Crazy," Jumper echoed. "The man has lost his mind."

  "Oh, yes! And I am about to return it to him. If I can reach him."

  A weird notion occurred to him. "Is it possible that he doesn't want his sanity returned?"

  "Ludicrous! Who would ever want to be crazy if he could be sane?"

  She had to be correct. "Then we must find a way past this crazy barrier." Jumper studied it. "The way the castle rises from the depths, it's almost as if it is surrounded by a moat."

  "Beware the moat monster," Olive agreed.

  They inspected the gulf that surrounded the castle. The moment he got close, Jumper's head spun with the weirdness of it. Craziness was in the very air.

  "I wonder," Olive said. "Could you fling a web across it? Lasso a turret, so we could swing across to the top of the castle?"

  "I can try," Jumper agreed. He spun a line, whirled it around; and fell to the ground, dizzy.

  "The craziness is getting to you," she said. "Too bad."

  "Could you summon an imaginary friend who could help us cross?"

  "Great idea!" She concentrated, and a woman appeared.

  "Don't touch me!" the woman warned. "I'm Anna Phylactic; I'll shock you with allergy."

  "You're not the friend I tried to summon," Olive said, taken aback.

  "You'd have to be crazy to summon me," Anna said.

  "Crazy," Jumper said, seeing it. "It's affecting you too."

  "You're right," Olive agreed. Her allergy-inciting friend faded out.

  "So it seems we can't use our talents for this purpose. It's like the Good Magician's Castle."

  "If it is, there must be a way."

  "A crazy way," she agreed. "Let's look around."

  "Maybe there's a stink horn."

  She laughed. "You made a funny. You're getting more human, Jumper.

  Did that wench really seduce you?"

  "Yes," he agreed, embarrassed. That was another human trait. "I couldn't resist her."

  "Was she as good as Angie?"

  So she did know. "Yes."

  "But you remain true to the mission."

  "Yes. Of course I'm not really human, so maybe it's easier for me."

  She glanced sidelong at him. "Perhaps."

  They looked around, but all they saw was a loose piece of paper weighted down by a broken piece of chalk. Jumper picked both up. "We should find a place to dispose of this litter."

  "You don't think it's a stink horn?"

  That was irony or humor, which were more human traits. What she meant was, could this be some devious key to entering the castle? Obviously not.

  Then he saw the words, which his human eyes were able to read: draw bridge.

  A crazily variegated bulb flashed over his head. "I think this is a stink horn!"

  "How so?"

  "I mean it's a pun, maybe, or literal. We should draw a bridge."

  "But we need more than a picture."

  "Let's see." He braced the clear side of the paper against a flat stone and used the chalk to draw a crude picture of a bridge.

  "Oh my goodness," Olive breathed.

  Jumper glanced up from the paper. His crude bridge was forming between the brink of the chasm and the castle. The chalk, or paper, or both were magic.

  He completed his drawing, and the bridge was complete. It wasn't handsome or particularly sturdy, but it was there. The crazy device had worked, in this crazy scene.

  Sammy came to life. He bounded across the bridge to the castle.

  Jumper and Olive followed, and soon they stepped onto an upper turret.

  "Stink horn," Olive murmured, and kissed him on the cheek.

  A winding stair took them into the depths of the castle. Jumper was no expert on castles, but even he could appreciate the weirdness of this one. It had clearly been constructed by a madman.

  Sammy led them to a crowded little den. There was a wild-eyed man scribbling on more magic paper. Word-filled scrolls surrounded him, piling up on the floor. This must be the one who had lost his mind. The man in the low castle.

  "Hello," Olive said tentatively.

  The man looked up. "We can remember it for you retail," he said.

  Olive was taken aback. "Remember what?"

  "The three stigmata."

  "The three whats?"

  "You don't remember? Too bad. I have total recall."

  "He's mad," Jumper whispered, reminding her.

  "Oh. Yes." She advanced on the man. "Take this, please." She shoved it at him.

  The statue's head collided with the man's head, and sank in, disappearing.

  The man paused, astonished. "Suddenly I am sane!"

  "Yes," Olive said. "You lost your mind, so we returned it to you."

  "This is disaster!"

  They stared at him, uncomprehending.

  There were footsteps in the hall. Sharon appeared, taking in the scene at a glance. "What have you done to my crazy brother?" she demanded, appalled.

  "We returned his mind," Jumper said. She was another man's sister?

  Sharon rushed to the man. "Oh, Dick, I'm so sorry!" She turned on Jumper and Olive. "You should be ashamed of yourselves. Look at the harm you've done."

  "Harm?" Jumper asked numbly. "All we did was restore his sanity."

  "Exactly. This is Dick Philip, the infamous writer. How can he write his wild books now? His mad genius is gone, thanks to your meddling."

  "I—I'm sorry," Olive said. "I thought—"

  "Try not to think, doxie. It's dangerous."

  "Maybe I can help," Olive said. "I have some pretty wild friends.

  For example here are two writers, Robert Hindsight and Isaac Azimuth. They're very good at seeing future history and new directions in science."

  Whereupon two demented-looking young characters appeared.

  "Hi," the boy said. "I'm Willie."

  "And I'm Nillie," the girl said.

  "Apart we're reasonably well behaved," Willie said, pushing a chair into the wall, denting one or the other.

  "But together we're sheer mischief," Nillie said zestfully, her elbow knocking over Dick's mug of boot rear so that it sent several scrolls flying.

  "Oh, bleep!" Olive swore. "I forgot the madness of the environment. I can't summon the right friends." The figures faded out.

  "Just a moment," Dick said. "That's your talent? Conjuring people?"

  "Imaginary friends," Olive agreed. "I'm Olive Hue."

  "I love you too," he said, sweeping her into his embrace.

  "I didn't say—" she protested.

  "The madness made it sound like 'I love you,' " Jumper said.

  "Well, it does, but that doesn't mean to take it literally."

  "However, I choose to do so," Dick said, kissing her soundly. "You are exactly what I need now, Olive Hue."

  "This is crazy!" she protested weakly. It was obvious that the crazy kiss had considerable impact; two and a half little hearts were orbiting her head.

  "On the contrary," Dick said. "It is completely rational. Deprived of my own creative madness, I need yours. With you by my side, I may yet achieve notoriety if not greatness. Perhaps they will even film truly bad dreams from my ideas."

  Sharon nodded. "You broke it, you bought it, doxie."

  Olive looked wildly about. "I—I—" Then she made half a decision.

  "I need to consider further. Kiss me again."

  He did. This time six little hearts and a planet swirled around her head.

  "Let's give them time to consider," Sharon murmured, catching Jumper by the hand. Such was his bemusement, he allowed her to lead him to a separate chamber.

  "Are you going to seduce me again?" he asked, trying to put up at least a show of resistance as she set his hands on her plush bottom. He could feel the intoxicating outline of panties under her skirt.

  "Of course. Do you object?"

  "Well—"

  She kissed him on the mouth. "You were saying?"

  "Nothing."

  Her hands were busy with his clothing. "What, not even how you still expect to complete your mission?"

  "Oh. Yes."

  "You drive a hard bargain. I have no choice but to accede." She drew him down on the bed with her, flattened her bare body against him, and stroked him somewhere exciting. Then the ellipsis caught them both and flung them madly about before wearing them pleasantly out.

  After a reckless time they returned to the writer's den. "If you must go, at least carry this with you," Dick was saying as Olive tucked her blouse back in. He proffered a tiny model pen.

  "What is it?" she asked as she combed out her storm-tossed hair.

  "An amulet that will conjure you to me for an hour at a time. So I can glean inspiration from your wild imagination."

  "Is that all?" she asked archly.

  "Yes, in the five minutes remaining of the hour after our phenomenal passion is expended."

  She nodded. "Ah. Very well, then." She took the pen.

  "I believe they have worked it out," Sharon murmured.

  "So it seems," Jumper agreed.

  It was time to return to the others. Sammy led them there.

  This time the girls were engrossed in a new game, and did not notice the return of the two. "That looks like Nineteen Questions," Olive whispered, cautioning him to silence. "They must have gotten tired of cards." So he was quiet, not sure what this was about.

  Wenda was in the center, while the others sat in a circle around her.

  "My turn to ask," Dawn was saying. "If you had a nice man, and could make him do anything you wanted, for one minute, what would it be?"

  The woodwife was silent. "That's the game," Olive whispered. "She must answer only yes or no, truthfully."

  After a pause to let Wenda think about it, Dawn asked "Kiss your mouth?"

  Wenda shook her head, no.

  "Kiss your hand?"

  No.

  "Your foot?"

  No.

  "The further it goes, the worse it gets," Olive whispered. "By the time it gets to the nineteenth question, a person can be reduced to a quivering mass of mortification."

  "Your chest?"

  Wenda blushed, but shook her head.

  "Your newly rounded bottom?"

  Wenda's blush was burning. She did not want to answer. Then she spied her salvation. "They're here!" she exclaimed, having a legitimate way to change the subject. "Did yew??"

  There was a muted sigh among the others. The game had just been getting interesting. Jumper had found it so, also. Why should a girl want a man to kiss her bottom? But, thinking as a man, he realized that this might indeed be fun, for no sensible reason he could fathom.

  Olive held up the pen. "Yes, he gave me an amulet. He is one crazy lover, even if he is now utterly sane."

  "Maeve and I know how that is," Wenda said, her blush fading. "But yew did knot??"

  "I didn't quit the mission. I made that clear. So even if he is an agent of Pluto, all he's getting is me."

  "And you?" Maeve asked Jumper.

  "She was there again," he agreed. "Posing as his sister."

  "You're becoming fascinated with her," Dawn said, touching his hand. "That's dangerous."

  "I know. But I am true to my mission, and I know there's no future in that relationship. I'm a spider."

  "And she's a shape changer. She could assume spider form, if she wanted to."

  "There's the thing," he said glumly. "She won't want to. Once we complete the mission, she'll disappear, angry. So my only chance with her is now."

  "I'm afraid you're right," she said sympathetically. "You deserve better, Jumper."

  What would be better, regardless what he deserved? He changed the subject. "It must be time to get out of the gourd."

  "It is," Haughty said. "Are we all ready?"

  "But we didn't finish the game," Phanta protested.

  "You don't need to," Haughty said. She disappeared.

  Then they started disappearing, one by one, as before. This time the last one left before Jumper was Dawn. "I'll bet you think I'm going to flash you," she said.

  "Well, Eve did, and you seem similar in your mischief."

  "Jumper, we both enjoy incidental naughtiness. But there is more to it than that. Sharon is trying to win your love so she can demand that you quit the mission. We're trying to remind you that there are other women who have what she has. You don't have to be with her to get it."

  What was she driving at? "I don't think I understand."

  "Don't let her corrupt you from the mission. We don't want to have to step in to salvage it."

  "I'm not going to quit the mission!"

  "Because Eve and I are prepared to do what we have to do to keep you on track. We need you, Jumper."