What they had to do? "I still don't think I understand."

  "Have fun with her, but never lose your larger perspective. The welfare of Xanth depends on it. That Internet-Outernet connection is the only remaining reliable link to Mundania. If we lose that, it could be centuries before any similar link is reestablished."

  She was serious. Obviously the two Sorceresses were not here incidentally. "And I thought you were just going to flash me."

  Dawn smiled. "That too." She opened her shirt, revealing her outstanding bra. "We will go as far as we need to, to salvage the mission. We hope we don't have to."

  Then at last she vanished, leaving Jumper half stunned. Half of that was from her full bra, which really did have eye-glazing magic. The other half was from her words. Was she implying that she and Eve would take their flashing to the next level and actually seduce him, to counter Sharon's influence?

  Dawn must have arranged to have this time with him. This was no irresponsible teen girl; this was a cynical Sorceress with her own agenda.

  What had he gotten into?

  8

  LIFE AND HONOR

  Next day they were back in the Found Cabin, ready for the next scene. This time it was Phanta with the Tomb-stone of Death, or at least the lost will to live.

  "We see a certain formula," Eve said. "Sharon caters to Jumper, getting him out of the way so a handsome man can seduce whichever girl brings the symbol. Every one of us will be under siege by the minions of Pluto. He may be reduced to a Dwarf Demon, but he remains far more than any of us can handle directly. His main constraint is that one Demon can't directly interfere in the territory of another. So he's trying to seduce us away from our mission, literally. Those men are crafted to be highly appealing. But we can be sure they'll all dump us the moment they are sure they can't corrupt us. So play along, but not too far."

  "Why is Pluto so determined to prevent the cable from being repaired?" Phanta asked. "Surely he can't be that thin- skinned about his demotion."

  "We don't know," Eve said. "Maybe there's a Demon bet involved. Whether he can prevent the repair. One that might restore his status if he wins."

  "In that case, he has just begun to fight," Haughty said.

  "Yes. But that's not our concern. We just need to get that break repaired."

  "That's all," Jumper agreed, realizing that it was likely to be a considerably greater challenge than they had thought.

  "After we discover what we're looking for in dreamland," Dawn said.

  Phanta lifted the tombstone. "What's the point?" she asked, then was flustered. "Oops, I was reading it. I mean, Sammy, lead us to the one this belongs to."

  The cat was off like an orange flash. Jumper and Phanta followed as well as they could.

  This time they found themselves in the horror territory. Walking skeletons were rising out of graveyards, ghosts flitted in the windows, and an impressive haunted house loomed against the pale light of a gibbous moon. At this point Sammy faltered. He settled on the ground, but no one was there.

  "What, lost, Sammy?" Phanta asked. "Do you want me to ask directions?"

  How could he be lost? Jumper wondered. Sammy could find anything. But Phanta was already ghosting.

  She floated up to a window and broached a ghost, who looked taken aback. Maybe it wasn't accustomed to dreamers assuming its own nature.

  After a moment and a half she returned, to both Jumper and physical form. "He says the cat is not lost, he just ran afoul of a patch of catnap." She went to Sammy, reached down, and pulled up a clump of herbs that were under Sammy's nose.

  The moment the catnap was clear, Sammy resumed motion, apparently not realizing that there had been an interruption. "Thanks, ghost!" Phanta called, blowing the ghost a kiss. The ghost reeled and floated away, blissfully freaked out.

  Sammy ran to the dark garden beyond the haunted house, where scary statues lurked. But he didn't stop there. He ran on by, past a field of grazing sheep, to a nearby barn. And by it, to some sort of grim building. And inside it.

  Now the true horror of this setting became evident. The stink of death suffused it. Blood was splashed around, as if some maniacal murderer had gone berserk.

  A man appeared. "Hey, this area is restricted. No visitors."

  Sammy settled down at his feet.

  Jumper faded into the woodwork. This was Phanta's mission, to handle as she saw fit.

  She did. "Did you lose your will to live?"

  The man paused. "How could you know that, stranger?"

  "I am Phanta, here to return what you lost." She showed the tombstone.

  The man shook his head. "I can't accept that."

  "Why not? Isn't it yours?"

  "You would not like my explanation."

  Phanta studied him. He was a handsome man. Jumper had discovered that that sort of thing could influence a woman. "Try me," she said.

  He sighed. "Very well. I am Shepherd, guardian of the sheep."

  "We saw them grazing outside," she said.

  "Yes. They trust me. That's why I don't want to live."

  "I don't understand."

  "You would hate me if you did."

  This was becoming curious. What was on the man's mind?

  "Try me," Phanta repeated.

  Shepherd looked at her. She was a pretty woman. Jumper knew from personal experience that that sort of thing could influence a man.

  "Are you sure?"

  "I promise not to hate you."

  Encouraged, Shepherd continued his explanation. "I guide my flock, and protect them from the big bad wolf. They know they are safe with me. But I am cursed to betray them."

  "Cursed?"

  "By the Night Stallion. I once made a joke about a horse of a different choler, and someone snitched, and he cursed me. I can't escape until rescued by a fair maiden or a horrendous monster, and none of them come to this dull setting. I am doomed."

  "How do you betray them?" Phanta asked.

  "I slaughter them. This is the slaughter house."

  That explained the blood.

  "But you don't have to do that," Phanta said, appalled.

  "Yes, I do. That's the curse. Each day I must summon ten of them here single file, and club them to death and butcher them as they come.

  The curse compels me. I hate it, and I wish I could die."

  "But aren't the sheep innocent?" Phanta asked.

  "Yes. That's part of the hell of it. They are all innocent ewes. I am monstrously guilty. Yet they die, and I survive. In another hour I must do it again."

  This was too much for Phanta. "Jumper!" she called. "I need your help!"

  Jumper came out of the woodwork to join them. "I don't know what I can do," he said. "A curse is a curse."

  "Who are you?" Shepherd asked suspiciously.

  "I am Jumper Spider, locked into clumsy human form for the moment."

  "So you are cursed too! You're really a monster."

  "In a manner," Jumper agreed.

  "You two—a fair maiden and a monster," Shepherd said, a lightbulb flashing over his head. "You have come to rescue me!"

  "Yes, if we can figure out how," Jumper agreed. "But we're not authorities on curses."

  "But we can try," Phanta said.

  They tried. "Couldn't you just walk away?" Jumper asked.

  "And desert my loyal sheep? I couldn't do that. They'd soon lose their way and starve, suffering a crueler extinction than what my curse provides them."

  He had a point. Except that the tombstone asked "What's the point?"

  Maybe that was the real question.

  "Why should we bring you your will to live, if you hate your job so much you don't want to live?" Phanta asked.

  "I don't know. It's this job, this curse, that's destroying me. Each time I kill a loyal sheep, I die a little myself."

  "We have to get you out of that job," Jumper said.

  "But the curse?"

  "F**k the curse!" Phanta exclaimed. "Oops, I'm imitating Haughty."

  But Jumper was getting a glimmer. "You are bound by the curse. What are the sheep bound by?"

  "They go where I guide them," Shepherd repeated with forced patience. "They trust me."

  "Suppose you told them the truth?"

  "I couldn't do that!"

  "Why not?"

  "The curse prevents me."

  "Suppose someone else told them?"

  "They wouldn't listen. They don't trust strangers."

  "Maybe they would, if we did it correctly."

  "Are you daft? The language doesn't matter. They heed only me."

  "I think Jumper is on to something," Phanta said. "I could tell them."

  "Haven't you been paying attention? They won't heed you. They're sheep. "

  "Let's give it a try anyway."

  "No, this won't—"

  She stepped into him and kissed him hard on the mouth. He fell back, three-quarters stunned. "You don't object, do you?" she inquired.

  Shepherd opened his mouth. Phanta opened her blouse. That increased the dose of stun, and he couldn't speak. There was a certain private satisfaction watching a woman herd a man, when Jumper himself was not the victim.

  "This way," Jumper said, moving to the corral outside.

  Phanta took Shepherd by the hand and led him out. He tried again to protest, but she used her free hand to flick up her skirt for half a flash, and he was silenced. She did know how to use what she had.

  There were the sheep, milling about. "Hey, ewes," Phanta called loudly. "Shepherd has an announcement to make."

  They continued to mill, ignoring her.

  "This is important," she said, annoyed. "In fact it's a matter of life and death. Yours."

  Not one sheep paid attention.

  They were getting nowhere. Shepherd was right: the sheep paid attention only to him, and he was mute, thanks to Phanta's kiss and underwear.

  "Do you have a stupid death wish?" Phanta demanded, beginning to get angry.

  Then a really bright bulb flashed over Jumper's head. "The tombstone," he said. "Try it on them."

  "But it's for him."

  "Yes. But maybe not directly. Heave it into their midst."

  "I think you're crazy," she muttered. But she lifted the tombstone and hurled it into the center of the flock.

  It puffed into dark vapor and settled among the sheep. Immediately their attitude changed. They stopped milling and gazed at Shepherd as if seeking his guidance.

  "Now tell the sheep," Jumper said. "Speaking for him. Keep him quiet."

  "Now I get ewe," she said with two-fifths of a smile. Then she stood directly in front of Shepherd, facing the sheep. "Listen, ewes," she said. "I have a message for you from Shepherd. He has an indisposition at the moment and can't speak for himself, but you can see he agrees."

  Shepherd opened his mouth again. Without even looking, Phanta twitched her skirt up, flashing more panty, and he was instantly stifled.

  "Shepherd is a good man," she continued, "but he is under a curse. He must kill you, ten by ten, every day. He hates it, because he loves you, but he has no choice."

  The sheep listened. They looked at Shepherd, who struggled again to speak, but only succeeded in seeming to agree. Phanta had him under control.

  "So what does he want you to do about it?" Phanta asked rhetorically. Then she looked blank. She had run out of ideas.

  "Revolt," Jumper said. "Break out. Then he can't kill them."

  "He wants you to revolt," Phanta said. "To break out of here. So he can't kill you."

  Their expressions changed. Understanding was coming. But they still didn't know what to do.

  "I'll show them," Jumper said.

  "My friend Jumper will show you how," Phanta said. "Follow him."

  The sheep looked again at Shepherd. He tried yet again to protest, compelled by the curse, but once more was stifled by a flash of panty.

  Panty magic might not be stronger than the curse, overall, but Phanta was close while the curse was general, so she was able to block it long enough.

  Jumper went out. He gazed at the wall of the corral. Then he nerved himself and charged headfirst into it.

  The impact was stunning in a way that panties weren't, and the fence held after denting only a little.

  But the sheep understood. They might be innocent ewes, but they knew how to butt. They charged at the fence, heads down.

  The fence might have held against a single sheep, or several sheep.

  But it was battered by a hundred sheep. It was stretched and fractured, and in moments it fell flat and the sheep charged over its supine boards.

  They had done it!

  But then they milled about again, not knowing what to do next.

  They needed new guidance.

  "Organize them," Jumper told Phanta as he got back to his feet.

  "You need to organize," Phanta cried. "Elect a leader. Follow him."

  She paused. "I mean, her. She'll tell you what to think, what to do. The ewe tube."

  But the sheep didn't understand about elections. They just looked at Phanta and Shepherd.

  In desperation, Phanta turned to Shepherd. "We've done it. The sheep revolted and broke out. You can't kill them outside of the corral, can you?"

  "No," he said, surprised. "The curse doesn't reach out here."

  "Tell them how to hold an election. To organize," she said.

  "Yes, I can do that, now."

  "Nothing can stop you," Phanta said.

  A woman appeared, running from the broken corral. "Shepherd!"

  she cried. "What are you doing?"

  "It's my sister Sharon," he said. "She's cursed too. She'll stop me."

  "This is my job," Jumper said. He jumped out to intercept the woman.

  "Get out of my way," she exclaimed. "I have to stop my brother from—"

  Jumper silenced her with a firm kiss. Turnabout was fair play, he had heard somewhere. Now he was taking her out of the scene, so that Phanta could complete her mission. Because it would not be finished until Shepherd had thoroughly broken the curse.

  Sharon jerked her head back. "You don't understand! I have to—"

  This time not only did he kiss her, he took two handfuls of her filled panty.

  She pulled back again, less violently. "Are you going to keep doing this?"

  "Yes."

  "Why?"

  "Because you're such a fetching creature I just can't keep my hands off you."

  "Bleep!"

  "Of course. But first we must get private."

  She laughed. "How can I resist such a sweet invitation?"

  Soon they were in the building, on a bed of straw, nonsummoning the stork.

  "You're a good learner," she remarked.

  "You're a perfect accomplice."

  "I meant about how to foil a curse."

  "That too," he agreed.

  "I wouldn't do this if I didn't like you," she said, doing it enthusiastically.

  "Of course. How else can you corrupt me?"

  "Maybe too good a learner," she muttered.

  In due course they returned to the field outside the corral. The sheep appeared to have been organized.

  "They are holding their election," Phanta said. "Once they have their chosen leader to follow, he can lead them away from here, and our job will be done."

  "The curse will have nothing to enforce," Shepherd agreed. "I will be out of a job. I won't be sorry to see the slaughter stop, but I will miss the sheep. They're nice folk."

  "Who will no longer be ewesed," Phanta said with a smile.

  "I will be alone."

  "You will surely manage."

  He considered. Then a faint bulb flashed. "I will have nothing to do except court you."

  "What?" she asked, surprised.

  "Your underwear fascinates me. I want to get closer to it. And you. I love your kisses."

  "But I was just distracting you from the curse so that we could save the sheep."

  "You did a most effective job. I hope you will continue distracting me forever."

  Phanta looked at Jumper. "What do I do now?"

  Sharon answered instead. "You made your bed. Now lie in it."

  "Yes!" Shepherd agreed.

  "I don't know."

  Then Shepherd took hold of her and kissed her. Little hearts swirled.

  "Well, maybe," she said breathlessly.

  The sheep alleviated their huddle. A ewe approached Shepherd.

  "You have chosen?" he asked.

  "Ewe," she bleated.

  "Yes, you are all ewes," he agreed. "You're a selected flock. But who did you choose to lead you far from here?"

  "Ewe," she repeated.

  "We've just been over that. I know your nature. I just want to know your new leader."

  Then Jumper caught on. "This is how she says 'you.' They have chosen you to be their leader."

  Shepherd's jaw dropped half a measure. "But I betrayed you! I was killing you! You don't want to have anything more to do with me."

  "Ewe."

  Shepherd shook his head, dismayed. "But why?"

  The sheep formed part of a smile. "Ewe're cute."

  "I'm a murderer!"

  "Ewe've changed. We want ewe."

  "It seems you have a job after all," Phanta said. "You can lead them to perpetual safety."

  "But I'm a cursed depressive!"

  "We gave your will to live to the sheep," Phanta said. "Now they want to live. If you are with their flock, you'll share it. You won't be depressive any more."

  He considered. "That may be. But now I realize that there must be more to life than just leading sheep around. I need a woman to fulfill me. You."

  "But—"

  He kissed her again. This time there was a small explosion of hearts.

  Phanta turned to Jumper. "Excuse us, please. Why don't you two go back to the barn for a while?"

  "But—"

  "This way," Sharon said, leading him there.

  Jumper realized that once more the man of the scene had impressed the woman of the scene. It was, after all, the dream realm. He allowed himself to be led. It wasn't as if he didn't want to go.

  After another ellipsis-battering bout in the stall, Jumper became reflective. "In time we'll complete our mission. Then you won't need to distract me anymore. Will I ever see you again?"

  "Do you feel ewesed?" she asked.

  "Yes."