“I knew you could do it,” Vol said. “You know how to handle lonely entities.”

  “It was mostly sheer luck and grit.”

  “And womanly intuition,” Noe said. “And phenomenal nerve.”

  “I’m not sure who else could have done it,” Lilith said.

  “Oh, surely others could have—”

  “Stop trying to fend off their compliments,” Anthem said with an emphatic chord.

  “She’s right,” Rob said mentally. “You really did save the universe. Accept it.”

  “It’s true,” Favew flashed. “This goes well beyond locale or species.”

  Nydia shut up.

  In due course, Bang and Andromeda emerged, looking more than satisfied. “Thank you,” the Demoness said, and hugged Nydia. She felt herself changing through multiple phases without losing her identity. It was the effect of the continual changes wrought by the Demoness.

  Then Bang shook her hand, and Nydia felt the metaphoric impact of the expanding universe. “Thank you. You opened my eyes to a new reality.”

  “You’re welcome,” Nydia said weakly.

  Then the two Demons held hands and quietly vanished. They surely had business on other levels of reality. The local play was done.

  The return trip back through the five sections was relatively simple. There were no disturbances or threats, and they made good progress. The violence of the Elements had indeed subsided, and the natives were delighted. They picked up the couples they had left along the way and returned at last to the tunnel leading from GEH.

  Nydia turned to their Drom friends, but before she could speak, Wavef flashed. “This is not parting. We are coming with you. We consider it to be our honeymoon.”

  So they had become a couple. “Congratulations,” Nydia said.

  “It’s the least we could do to appreciate the universe you saved.”

  They entered the tunnel as a group, and in hardly a moment and a half were back at the outlying planetoid. The Elements provided air, water, and a comfortable temperature. Then they took the longer tunnel to the home galaxy and Xanth.

  Where there was a welcoming party awaiting them.

  Demoness Demesne appeared. “We knew you were coming,” she said. “We felt the land relax, and the rogue elements settled down. That meant you had succeeded. We are vastly relieved, and you are certainly welcome at the Queendom of Thanx, all of you. We have prepared a suitable suite.”

  They walked toward the Queendom. The path wound past a pasture. There was a small, friendly bull. “You may come pet me,” he said. “My name is Adora.”

  Nydia did so. “Isn’t that a female name?”

  “I am female, in a male body. I refuse to be cowed, so I focus on being nice.”

  Now she got it. Adorable! They were back in the land of puns. “At least you’re not a loud audi bull.”

  “These are my friends,” Adora said, indicating several sheep grazing nearby. “Thank Ewes. They are very grateful to be here.”

  Nydia groaned. It was good to be home!

  Favew and Wavef flashed perplexity. “The Land of Xanth is largely made of puns,” Nydia explained. “It’s part of the magic.”

  It took a while to clarify the concept of puns. The two Droms were amazed. Noletta spied a bottle of shampoo. “I haven’t washed my hair in ages!” she exclaimed.

  “Don’t,” Demesne warned. “That’s fake. It will poop your hair horribly.” She took the bottle and opened it. A foul brown odor poured out. “Sham Poo.”

  “Oh,” Noletta said, chagrined. “I’ve been away too long!”

  Nerine spotted bean plants beside the path. “Coffee beans!” she exclaimed. “I’ll harvest some for my next cup.”

  “They’re black,” Vinia said. “Caughee beans. They give perfect recollection, but with uncontrollable coughing.”

  “Bleep! I should have known. Good thing they’re not invisibili tea plants.”

  They walked on. They came to a collection of pretty cushions laid out appealingly. “Oh, I’d like to sit down and rest my feet,” Moonroe said.

  Demesne laughed. “Don’t. Those are reper cushions, comfortable to sit on, but uncomfortable when you get up.”

  He laughed ruefully. “Now I get it. Repercussions.”

  They rounded a curve. Suddenly there was music, and what appeared to be small loaves of bread sprouted little arms and legs and moved around in patterns. They paused, watching, mystified. What was it?

  Anthem Ant laughed. “I recognize the music. That’s abundance.”

  “That’s what?” Nydia asked.

  “Those are bread rolls. Buns, actually. It’s a bun dance.”

  Nydia winced, suppressing a groan.

  “Oh, look, what a nice coat,” Noletta said.

  “Don’t touch it,” Demesne warned. “That’s a yellow jacket. Try to wear it and it will sting you like a nest of wasps.”

  Noletta frowned. “Oops!”

  The path veered around what appeared to be an enormous heavy envelope. “I recognize that,” Oakley said. “You push it to accomplish something.”

  There was a collective groan.

  Nydia shook her head. They were definitely back in the land of puns.

  The grand entrance to the Queendom came into view.

  Then, to Nydia’s amazement, Bang and Andromeda appeared, formally but not excessively dressed. “Introduce us, please,” the Demoness said to Nydia. “We have a favor to ask.”

  What was going on? Nydia stifled her curiosity and did the job. “Demesne, this is Andromeda, the Demoness of Change, recently freed from confinement in the other galaxy. With her is Bang, Demon of Detonation, who is responsible for the explosion that started the universe.” She turned to the couple. “This is Demesne Demoness, Queen of the Queendom of Thanx.” Then back to Demesne. “They have a favor to ask of you.”

  Demesne was clearly taken half a step aback. But she had encountered Demons before, including Demon Chaos, so handled it with grace. “Any friend of Nydia’s is a friend of ours. She saved Thanx from an uncomfortable squeeze. We will accommodate you if it is within our power to do so. What is your request?”

  “We understand that you hold weddings here.”

  “We do, when our citizens want them.”

  “The two of us desire to get married. This is largely symbolic, as Demon affairs differ somewhat from mortal ones, but we plan on interacting further with mortals and will honor their conventions when associating with them. Can you provide the ceremony?”

  “We shall be happy to. My husband Grossclout will officiate if you wish.”

  “Thank you.” Andromeda glanced at Nydia. “I will need a Maid of Honor for the occasion. I hope you will agree to serve.”

  “Me?!” Nydia exclaimed, achieving two punctuation marks again. This was completely unexpected. “But I’m just a—”

  “A friend who saved my existence.”

  Oh. She managed to jam the overwhelm mostly back into its mental compartment. “Yes, I will be honored to serve.” She realized belatedly that Ecstasy had really educated the couple on social nuances.

  The Demoness glanced back at the demoness. “My partner also has a request.”

  Demesne looked at Bang. “Yes?”

  “Please set up an enclave where mortals, Elements, demons, and Demons can comfortably interact. That way we shall be able to visit without arousing uncomfortable repercussions. We will not stray from the enclave unless invited. It can be a place where beings who are not ordinarily part of the human community can relax and learn the ways of mortals.”

  Demesne nodded. “Like a Mundane fan convention, where fans, authors, and publishers interact on an equal basis. We shall be glad to do that. Access will have to be limited to prevent awkward intrusions, but visitors who qualify will be welcome. We’ll call it Element Enclave.”

  “That will do.” He took Andromeda’s hand.

  “Bye for now,” the Demoness said, flipping Nydia a kiss with her free hand. They vanished.

  Nydia relaxed. And fainted.

  She woke lying on a bed where Vol had just set her down. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I thought I had it under control. So much happened so fast! I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I’m sorry I messed up. I just—”

  He shut her up by kissing her. That covered it. He had picked up pretty well on social conventions himself.

  She sat up on the bed. And saw something. A flicker in the air, akin to the spirits of the Elements before they were conjured into the ectoplasm figurines. Was it a ghost? What would a ghost be doing here?

  “Uh—”

  He looked. “A female spirit. Some get lost in the Void.”

  Nydia went back into Decision Mode. “We’d better check this out. Maybe there’s a contingent of lady ghosts in Thanx, but if so, they should have their own residence. Something’s wrong.”

  They checked with Vinia. “Let me see it,” the girl said. “We do have ghosts here, but they’re friendly and don’t try to spook folks. This may be a newcomer.”

  Back at the room, the flicker remained. “It’s green,” Vinia said. “It does seem to be unfamiliar.”

  They checked out the other rooms of the suite, Vinia zeroing in with her paths focused on ghosts. There turned out to be six ghosts, and they did not belong to the local ghost contingent. They were strangers, and they had appeared just a few days ago. No one had died recently in the Queendom, so it was a mystery.

  Vol produced a spirit translator. It was amazing, the variety of lost things that existed in his domain. He set it up in their room and turned it on. “Now talk to her,” he told Nydia.

  “Hello, lady ghost,” Nydia said. It wasn’t as if she had never talked to a spirit before. “I am Nydia. Who are you and why are you here?”

  The ghost was startled. “You’re talking to me!”

  “Yes. This is a translator. We were assigned this room to stay the night, but it seems you’re already here. Why?”

  “I am LeeAnne. I was leading a tourist group through the wilderness when a rogue dragon pounced and ate all six of us before we could protest. We are not used to being dead, so we made our way to the closest community, which is this one. We’re hesitant to contact the local ghosts, who might think we’re intruding on their territory. So we’re just sort of in limbo here, not knowing what to do.”

  “The dragon!” Nydia echoed. Suddenly her outfit became that of a warrior woman, and her sword was in her hand. Wanda Wand and Knight Knife had heard the word. Then they realized it was a false alarm and faded. “That must be the one we avoided when we visited the Queendom before.”

  “It must be,” LeeAnne agreed.

  “Let me consult.” Nydia raised her voice to ceiling height. “Oakley! I think I need your advice.”

  In barely two moments, Oakley and Ecstasy arrived. “We have six ghosts,” Nydia said. “Victims of the dragon we three original nymphs avoided. They don’t know what to do, and neither do we. Is there an obvious answer we are missing?”

  “Obviously,” he agreed. “Did the Good Magician not promise you nymphs souls upon the completion of your mission, so you could be complete people? Ghosts are the manifestation of lost souls. Why wait on the Magician when you have perfectly good souls here for the taking? They should be happy to have lives again.”

  Amazed, Nydia looked at LeeAnne. “How do you feel about this?”

  “He’s right,” the ghost said. “We’d love to live again.”

  “But our lives are surely different from the ones you had before. We have other relationships, other passions, other memories. It would be a whole new framework for you.”

  LeeAnne floated closer. “Any lives would be better than being dead! I would merge with you now and live your life with you if you were willing. So would my companions.”

  Nydia glanced at Vol. “Would you still want me if I had a soul?”

  “I would want you if you had ten souls, as long as you remained you.”

  Someone had to be the first to try this out. To determine via experience whether this was viable. To take the enormous risk of a mistake. That, it seemed, was her role as the leader. “Then join me, LeeAnne, if you want to.”

  The ghost floated up to her and surrounded her. Then it sank into her, and she felt the sheer exhilaration of completeness. For the first time in Nydia’s existence, she was whole. She remembered from the template some of the Good Magician’s words. “Only those with souls care about them.” Now she cared.

  Nydia turned to Vol and kissed him. She felt his body transform as her new soul lapped over him. Her emotion magnified immensely. Her love for him had been like a nova. Now it was a supernova.

  Glorious! LeeAnne thought. Nydia sensed LeeAnne’s exhilaration as she felt physical limbs and body processes again after losing them. Breathing and heartbeat. Physical sight and sound, and touch on skin. Smell. Taste. Pressure of natural functions in process. As a ghost, she had felt nothing physical, only the vast bleak loss of life.

  And now the appeal of the appreciation of a man. LeeAnne had missed that most of all.

  “Glorious,” Anthem Ant echoed with a resonant twang. “Now you are Woman Prime.”

  Nydia broke the kiss. “And now we must see to the others.”

  They saw to the others. Soon Noletta joined with a fiery-tempered soul, and Nerine took one who was familiar with the sea. Three down.

  But three ghosts remained. What of them?

  “Have you two Droms considered taking on souls?” Oakley asked.

  The two deliberated, then decided to gamble. Favew took the male, and Wavef took the female. It was clearly a revelation for both, and for the souls, but a joyous one.

  And the child. “I’ll take her,” Woe Betide said.

  “But you’re a demon,” Nydia reminded her. “Demons don’t have souls.”

  But the child was already merging with the willing spirit. “So I am the very first demon with a soul,” Woe said, satisfied. She seemed very human.

  So all the ghosts were gone. All were now alive again, and more than satisfied to be so.

  Demesne appeared at the door. “I am embarrassed,” she said. “Our staff got the wrong suite for you. This one is haunted.”

  Nydia gazed at her with the full authority of a souled woman. “Not anymore.”

  Author’s Note

  Each novel I write is its own adventure, personally as well as fictively. Two novels ago, Carol, my wife of sixty-three years, died, and I distracted myself from my grief to an extent by burying myself in Xanth. One novel ago I remarried, knowing I couldn’t bear to live alone. Thus came MaryLee. I am old, close to eighty-eight as I write this, and thought I was in good shape. This novel, well, I completed the first draft. Next day I suffered violent shakes as my fever rocketed to 102 degrees Fahrenheit. Yes, it was the Virus, COVID-19, surely the latest variant at the time, BA.5. I had had my preventive shots, and we wore masks religiously when leaving the house and practiced social distancing. But the Virus has become more cunning as it goes, finding new avenues to score. It doesn’t help that other folk, tired of restrictions, preferred to pretend the pandemic was over. Ninety percent of those we encountered were maskless while the carnage continued. The Florida government was no help; rather than enforce sensible precautions, it tried to hide the figures, and actively discouraged schools from protecting their students. Amazing folly! When it comes to craziness, Florida yields to no other state.

  For the past seventy years I have lived a healthy vegetarian lifestyle, eating well, taking supplements, staying lean, and seriously exercising. But fate got at me anyway. During this novel, I came down with a heart condition. It seemed that the timing of my heartbeats went askew, so that the upper chamber did not completely clear the blood passing through. The risk there was that some of the delayed blood could stagnate and form a clot. If that clot then got out, it could land somewhere dangerous, such as the brain, causing a stroke. There was also a flutter, rapid pulse, and high pressure. Mischief indeed! Suddenly I was put on $600-a-month medication to regularize the beat, reduce the pressure, eliminate the flutter, and thin the blood to prevent that threatened clot. It reminds me of the old “shut up” jokes, one of which was “Mommy, mommy, what’s a vampire?” “Shut up, kid, and eat your soup before it clots.” The medication seems to be taking effect; my pressure is down, my beat is normal, my blood oxygen level is very good, and I’m hoping that no clot is forming.

  Not that all is otherwise well. I have on occasion remarked on how I have zero belief in the supernatural, though I earn my living from it. That is, I write fantasy, this novel being an example. That disbelief annoys the supernatural, so it does its best to get back at me in little ways, especially now. Bright blood appeared in my right eyeball, slowly spreading. No pain—just, well, an eyesore. After a few days, it faded. My nose dripped constantly, not badly, just enough to annoy. I developed incontinence. I had an intermittent sore throat, making swallowing painful. I felt either too hot or too cold, having to constantly remove or add clothing. I slept and slept, day and night. I suffered bad fits of coughing. I had wild dreams that made no sense when I woke. One was of the writer Herman Wouk. (What did Herman do after he fell asleep? Herman Wouk.) One of our air conditioners developed drips, chronically flooding the floor, and several times a day, I had to sponge up small buckets full of water and dump them down the toilet. We lock up the house each night; one day the key worked, but then would not release—it refused to leave the lock. I tried it every day, and after a week, suddenly it let go. No explanation. My main computer has a useful feature, “recent documents,” one of the options I use each morning to load my working files for the day. One day it refused to give me that menu. Everything else was there, just not that. I had to struggle to work around it so that I could get my work done. After a few days, it was back. MaryLee is not strong physically; normally we grocery shop together, and I push her around on “the contraption,” a wheeled seat attached to a shopping basket so she can shop without dropping. When the Virus made me stay home, she had to shop alone. Normally there are personnel to help out. But this time there was nothing; it was as though she had become invisible. She had to bag the groceries herself, load them in the basket, trundle them out to the car, load them into it, and drive home, worn out. It took her days to recover. I was not amused by her treatment. Fate likes to toy with me, but I still refuse to believe in the supernatural, so the war continues.