She cocks her head to the side innocently and flutters her brown eyes at me. “Why?”

  I give her a look because she can’t be new to women being jealous of her. “Because you’re drop-dead gorgeous, baby, and I’ve spent the last four years living on your property.” She nods in understanding and I can see her mind spinning with another question. I drag my knuckles down her cheek gently in an attempt to calm her nerves. “What else?”

  She swallows. “You said you don’t typically talk about your mom to anyone. Did you…with any of your past relationships?”

  “Is that what this is about?”

  “No…maybe? I don’t know. You know all my deep dark secrets and I guess it makes me feel like you don’t know if you can trust me and maybe that’s selfish to think it’s about me.” She lowers her chin. “I guess I’m just feeling insecure.”

  “I wish you didn’t.” She’s biting her bottom lip and I reach up to release it from between her teeth, rubbing my thumb over the wet skin. “I know it’s not that simple but no one has ever had my heart but you, Shay.” Her watery brown eyes meet mine and she shakes her head. I pull her into my arms so her back is against my chest and I interlace our fingers. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.” She looks up at me and gives me her lips. I take them eagerly, kissing her through the discomfort that comes with thinking about my mother.

  I pull back and turn my light off, cloaking the room in darkness. “She left when I was five because she didn’t want to be a mom. I guess she was scared or thought she wouldn’t be good at it and she was worried about screwing me up.” I chuckle darkly. “The irony.”

  “Damian…” she whispers and strokes my arm that’s wrapped around her middle.

  “She told my dad she loved him but she wasn’t ready to be a mom. She didn’t even say goodbye to me.”

  She freezes in my arms and then brings her hand to her lips. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

  “It’s okay. My dad and I…we were great, and then he met my stepmom and she treated me like her own so it was all good after a while. But she is why I struggle with not feeling good enough when it comes to women because I wasn’t even good enough for the one that brought me into the world.”

  She gasps and turns in my arms, and though I can’t make out all of her features, I know she’s staring at me. “That’s absolutely not true. That is not on you, Damian. She left because of her, not because of you.” She leans in closer and her scent surrounds me as she drags her fingertips over my jaw. “I would never leave you, Damian.”

  It’s been a few days and I can’t shake the feeling of annoyance.

  At my friends.

  At Damian.

  At the world.

  I don’t know if I’m still a little irritated that he kept something like that from me or I’m feeling territorial that he’s been married before or maybe a combination of the two, but I’m in a foul mood and everyone is taking notice.

  Maybe it’s because I wonder how this is going to work between him and I.

  Maybe it’s because I’ve had longer days than usual on set and we haven’t really had the time to talk since that night.

  I haven’t spoken to Jeremy except for on set and I’m glad he’s been smart enough to keep his distance. He did leave flowers in my dressing room with a card saying he was sorry the next day but other than that it’s been radio silence.

  Today, Jeremy and I have an interview as a part of our press tour, so we are at a different studio than usual without any of the rest of the cast or crew. I’m in my assigned dressing room packing up to go home when there’s a knock on the door. I frown in confusion because Damian doesn’t usually knock, so I have no idea who it is.

  “Come in,” I call and Jeremy enters with a sad smile on his face, his hands up like he’s surrendering.

  “I come in peace.”

  I look him up and down slowly. “Do you?”

  He slides his hands into his slacks pockets and leans against the wall. “The interview went well.”

  “Mmmhmm.”

  “You were funny. It’s nice to see you laughing,” he tells me.

  “I learned a long time ago how to laugh on command especially when I don’t feel like laughing and make it convincing.” I give him a fake smile that borders on saccharine before letting it fall with an eye roll.

  He nods and the awkward silence stretches between us. “Shay, I’m sorry about how I handled everything.”

  “How did you even know that? Are you trying to dig up stuff on him?”

  “Yes.” What the fuck?

  “Why?”

  His lips form a straight line and he shrugs guiltily. “I didn’t want a repeat of what happened with Paxton.”

  “Paxton was a serial cheater.”

  “I just meant I didn’t want to see you get hurt. I didn’t want you to be blindsided and the second you went public, people would have gone digging into his past. You know how it works, Shay.”

  “And the way you chose to tell me was you not wanting me to get hurt? Bullshit. It wasn’t your story to tell.”

  He sighs and sits down running a hand through his hair. “It was never my intention to hurt you. I’m in love with you, for god’s sakes,” he blurts out like it isn’t a huge bomb that’s going to change everything. “It bothered me that another man that doesn’t deserve you is getting a shot with you.”

  My mouth drops open because no fucking way. “I’m sorry, back up, what?” My mind is moving a mile a minute and my hand immediately goes to my bracelet, knowing it can’t do anything but make me feel closer to Damian and hope he can sense that I need him.

  “I’ve been in love with you for years. Since Alex and I broke up. Hell, it’s why we broke up if you ask her,” he continues.

  I blink several times in shock. I remember Alex did break up with him and I also remember I never really got a straight answer as to why. I didn’t push it because it wasn’t my business. I tuck a hair behind my ear nervously trying to figure out what to say and how to say it without potentially ruining what’s left of our friendship and potentially the chemistry on our hit television show. Fuck. Why did he have to tell me this now? “Jeremy, you can’t be serious.”

  “I was trying to give you time after you and Paxton broke up and then I saw you at the club with Damian and I got pissed, all right?” He stands up and crosses the room. I take a few steps back. “Shay, you know me. You can trust me. We’ve been through everything together.”

  “Jeremy…” I put my hands up. Damian was right all along. “This whole time?”

  He nods and reaches his arm out to touch my face, but I move out of his reach. “We could be so good together. It would be so easy, Shay.” I hate that I feel like he’s following me around the dressing room because now I’m against a wall with nowhere to move.

  “Jeremy, stop,” I say.

  I want to call for Damian or anyone but I don’t want to be dramatic. Jeremy wouldn’t hurt me…right? After five years of friendship, I hate that I don’t know the answer to that question.

  He stops walking and looks down at his feet. “Do you feel anything for me?”

  I swallow nervously, unsure of how he’ll take the truth. “Not beyond a friendship,” I tell him. “I…I love Damian. I’ve loved him for a really long time and maybe that makes me an asshole for staying with Paxton. I just…I thought he wasn’t an option for me. I thought he didn’t feel the same way about me.”

  He snorts. “Who wouldn’t want you? You’re Shay Eastwood.”

  “That’s not why I want her,” Damian’s voice is low and icy but heats every inch of my skin as he shuts the door behind him and crosses the room. He stands in front of me but for the first time, I don’t think it’s because he thinks there’s a threat to me.

  But to him.

  “Are we going to have a problem, Gardner?” he asks, referring to Jeremy by his last name. “I know your show requires a lot of specific scenes, but she’s acting. She does not want you.”

  I don’t hear him respond so I peer around Damian and see the angry look Jeremy’s giving him. I’ve rarely seen him angry; I’ve never so much as heard him yell except when we’re shooting and our characters are arguing.

  “Jeremy…”

  He takes a step back. “I’d be much better for you. He won’t love you like I do. No one ever will.”

  Did he just say that?

  Every red flag shoots up thinking about all of the letters that Shay has been getting that said exactly that.

  No fucking way.

  My heart pounds in my chest and adrenaline rushes through me at such a level, I feel like I could punch through a wall. I follow behind Jeremy wanting him out of this room and away from Shay. I shut the door with more force than I would normally and lock the door behind him. I need a moment to calm down and more importantly I need to be alone with her before emerging from her dressing room. I leave my hand on the door, trying to quell the fury raging through me thinking about the fact that I was fucking right. I knew he had feelings for her and now they’re out there and they work together and it’s possible that there’s more to it.

  I briefly run through all the letters that I’ve pretty much committed to memory because I’ve read over them so many times trying to think of any indication that Jeremy could be the author of those letters.

  “Damian?” I hear her voice from behind me and then I sense her at my periphery and her hand rests on my bicep. “You’re shaking,” she says and I dart my gaze to her hand and then to her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she says and I can see the sadness and worry in her eyes.

  I shake my head hoping she understands that I’m not angry with her. I grab her wrist, remove it from my bicep, and wrap my arms around her. Pushing her against the wall, I seal my mouth over hers.

  “I am done,” I growl against her lips as I lift her into my arms and tangle my hands in her hair as I continue kissing her like I need her more than air in my lungs.

  She pulls back. “Done?” she whispers and I see the tears rushing to her eyes. “What—”

  “Done with this fucking distance between us.” I know she’s still annoyed about what happened with her friends and maybe even at me for keeping such a large secret from her.

  Relief floods her face and I realize she thought I meant I was done with her. She nods. “I love you.”

  “Say it again,” I grip her chin, as she claws at my back while I press my dick into her center.

  “I love you.” She buries her face in my neck and I feel her tears against my neck.

  I rub her back, and I swear I can feel her heartbeat pounding against my chest. “Shhh, don’t cry.”

  “I can’t believe that happened… and now I have to work with him for the next two months. I had no idea. I swear.”

  The idea of him touching her, kissing her, doing the intimate scenes of her show all the while I’m not sure if I can even fucking trust him makes me feel almost manic, and before I can think, I’ve grabbed her travel bag and her hand and I’m pulling her out the door. The car is parked directly in front of the hotel, but there is a swarm of people outside, and I can already hear her name being said under the dull roar of the crowd.

  “Do not stop for pictures or autographs,” I tell her before I open the door and she frowns at me.

  “Why?”

  “I just want to get you back to your house.”

  “Is this about Jeremy?” she asks. “Damian, I can’t just ignore them because of what happened. It has nothing to do with them.”

  “Shay.” I shoot her a look and she furrows her brows.

  “You can’t keep me locked up in a cage. This is why I have a security team.”

  “Yes, and as the head of it, I make the calls.”

  “Because you’re jealous?”

  “This has nothing to do with that. I think Jeremy is unstable and—”

  “Because he’s in love with me?” I don’t want to keep going back and forth with her and she shakes her head before I can respond. “And one has nothing to do with the other. These are my fans, Damian. They know I’m here and I always stop for a few photos. Stop acting brand new.”

  I grit my teeth and take a deep breath through my nose, knowing that this is not a battle I can win unless I plan to throw her over my shoulder like a caveman and carry her to the car. Something tells me she might like that.

  “Be quick,” I tell her and I can see the face she gives me out of the corner of my eye. I push open the door and everyone is immediately calling her name and holding out small posters and magazines and pictures of her. She smiles and signs everything that is closest to her as I slowly move her through the crowd, holding an arm out so no one gets too close. She poses next to a few girls that look like they may be in their late teens that are all telling her how much they love her and she smiles graciously just as she always does. My eyes are looking everywhere, my entire body on high alert.

  Could Jeremy really be behind all the letters? This whole time?

  I keep moving her through the throng of people and I’m grateful when we are finally at the car. I open the car door for her and she waves to the crowd one more time and blows a kiss before sliding in the back.

  I get in the front.

  “I have a driver, you know. You don’t have to keep driving me around everywhere. You can sit back here with me and make out,” she says and I know that I’ve been wary about letting anyone drive her around but I’m not sure how skilled her driver is if we’re being followed and I don’t want to take the chance.

  “What are you going to do about Jeremy?” I ask her.

  When she leans forward and looks up at me, I resist the urge to tell her to sit back.

  “What do you mean? I just have to deal with it.”

  “Won’t kissing him feel different? It won’t feel weird doing love scenes with him knowing how he feels about you?”

  “Yes, but what am I supposed to do? I’m an actress, Damian. Please tell me you can handle this. Tell me you trust me.”

  “Of course, I trust you. But there’s a big difference between kissing your co-star and kissing one that has been harboring all of these feelings for you. Don’t tell me you don’t understand that.”

  “What do you expect me to do, Damian? If I go to my director with this he’s going to be like ‘okay, and?’ I’m an actress. It would be the same situation if we hated each other. I would just have to deal with it. I think this is more about you and me, and I get that, believe me, I do, but I just need you to trust me.”

  “I do. It’s him I don’t trust.”

  The second we get back to her house, she goes inside to shower while I go to the guesthouse to change and go through every single letter that has had me on high alert. I even pull out some of the old ones from years ago to cross reference. It’s impossible to prove that the letters came from Jeremy, but something just isn’t sitting right with me. I heard him say something about his ex-fiancée right before I barged in, and I wonder if his feelings for Shay really started that early. It’s like I’m seeing everything in a new light and now I’m running through every major interaction between the two of them that I’ve witnessed.

  Is this all because I’m jealous?

  Am I seeing shit that just isn’t there?

  My phone rings and I narrow my eyes at the name that is on the screen. “Hunt,” I answer.

  “We need to talk,” the voice says instantly without a hello or fuck you.

  “Paxton?”

  “We need to talk without Shay,” he adds.

  I lean back against the couch wondering what the fuck her ex-boyfriend could want to talk to me about. In a normal situation, he’d probably want to kick my ass, but seeing as how he is definitely not capable of that and he knows that and I know he knows that, I wonder what this is about.

  “Now?”

  “Preferably.”

  “Okay, come to Lakeland,” I tell him referring to the large community her house sits inside. “I’ll meet you at the entrance. Forty minutes. I need to get someone from my team over here.”

  “Fine,” he says and hangs up the phone.

  In light of the recent events with Jeremy, I find myself more on edge at the thought of being around yet another man that still holds a candle for my woman. I’m out of my house in an instant, jogging to her house, letting myself in, and then flying up the stairs. The need to have both my eyes and my hands on her overtakes me. I send a text to Kent, a member of my team that I can trust to be here promptly as I enter her bedroom. I still hear the water running and I’m through the bathroom door and yanking open her shower door, suddenly blind with lust and rage that dances at the edge of my senses. I toe off my shoes leaving me barefoot, but I don’t bother to take my clothes off, leaving me in jeans and a t-shirt before I’m in the shower with her, one arm across her chest, hauling her against mine and one hand between her legs.

  She yelps in surprise but it quickly turns to a moan when she feels my fingers against her clit. “Tell me who this belongs to.”

  “You.”

  She spins out of my grasp and stares at my fully clothed form. I think she’s about to ask why I chose to get into the shower with all of my clothes on when her eyes meet mine and her teeth find her bottom lip in response to the look I’m giving her. “Tell me who this belongs to,” she says grabbing my dick through my pants and squeezing.

  “You,” I tell her as I back her against the wall. “It’s always belonged to you. You fucking own me, Shay. Every part of me is controlled by you and my need to keep this going,” I say putting a hand to her chest, covering her heart. “I fucking live for this.” I slide my hand between her legs and drag my hand through her wet slit. “I live for your looks; whether you’re irritated with me or happy with me or ready to fuck me, when your eyes are on me, when I have your attention, I feel like I’ve won the ultimate prize.” I continue rubbing her clit and her hips begin to rock against me in time. I push my fingers inside of her fucking her with two fingers slowly while I rub her clit with my thumb. “And this…” I feel my resolve withering with every stroke of my finger over her sweet clit. “I live for this. I could worship this forever and it wouldn’t be long enough.”