JODY

  Now you ain’t playin’ foxy grandpa with me now, are you?

  GEN.SMITHERS

  No.

  JODY

  I don’t have a trusting nature, old man.

  (beat)

  But we’ll give it a try.

  He pats the old man’s knee, and stands up.

  EXT—MINNIE’S HABERDASHERY—MORNING

  Joe Gage comes pushing a wheelbarrow with a dead Minnie in it. Followed by Oswaldo and Jody carrying the dead body of Gemma.

  Bob is in the B.G. unhitching the horses from the stagecoach.

  Joe pushes the wheelbarrow behind the Haberdashery… finally finding a spot out back where lies the dead body of Sweet Dave. Joe dumps Minnie out next to him.

  MINNIE’S DEAD BODY

  is dumped on the snowy ground next to the dead Sweet Dave. We hold for a beat or two on her dead body, when the dead Gemma is thrown on top of her.

  BOB

  unhitches horses from the stagecoach.

  OSWALDO AND JOE

  carry the dead Judy to the pile.

  BOB

  leads a horse into the stable.

  OSWALDO AND JOE

  toss Judy on the pile of bodies.

  DEAD JUDY

  lies on the ground.

  JOE SHOVELS

  snow.

  BOB

  feeds one of the horses.

  OSWALDO SHOVELS

  snow.

  DEAD JUDY

  gets snow shoveled on her.

  JOE SHOVELING

  snow.

  DEAD ED

  gets snow shoveled on him.

  The two men next to the pile of six bodies covered in snow.

  INT—MINNIE’S HABERDASHERY—DAY

  Jody climbs up top through the door in the floor, and joins Bob in the kitchen area.

  JODY

  (to Bob)

  Other than those damn blasted rats down there, that basement’s perfect. I can sit right underneath that dirty so an’ so’s nose the entire time, and Ruth won’t be the wiser.

  BOB

  Unless he checks the basement.

  JODY

  Shitfire I hope he does. I’ll shoot ’em dead climbin’ down that ladder. End of story, end of problem.

  Jody rips pieces of cloth off of an old rag, and sticks it in both ears.

  BOB

  How many rats down there?

  JODY

  I dunno’… a few?

  BOB

  You gonna’ be down there all night with a bunch of rats?

  JODY

  A room fulla’ rabbits ain’t gonna’ stop me from savin’ my sister. Specially after I go down there and show them bunny’s who’s boss.

  He picks up the lantern, opens the trap door in the floor, and descends into the basement.

  WE HEAR UP TOP Jody go down there and start both YELLING and SHOOTING at the rats. He empties both pistols at the scurrying rodents.

  Oswaldo and Joe Gage come back inside, hearing all the shooting going on underneath the floor.

  OSWALDO

  What’s with all the shooting?

  Jody walks to the trap door, and says up to them;

  JODY

  Just demonstrating the new basement rules to these rats.

  JOE

  How’s that goin’?

  JODY

  They get the general idea.

  (beat)

  Can you believe this room, it’s perfect.

  He sees the worried looks on both of their faces.

  JODY

  (CON’T)

  What’s wrong?

  OSWALDO

  Bad news.

  EXT—SNOWY MOUNTAIN TOP—MORNING

  Oswaldo, Joe Gage, Bob, and Jody take a hike to a mountain top clearing, and look down off the cliff to see what’s coming at them.

  What they see is bad weather.

  JODY

  What’s that?

  OSWALDO

  Having lived in Switzerland, I can tell you exactly what that is. It’s a blizzard.

  JODY

  A blizzard? Is it gonna’ hit us for sure?

  OSWALDO

  Oh yes.

  JODY

  When?

  OSWALDO

  Sometime tonight.

  BOB

  If there’s a blizzard coming we can’t stay in that shack.

  JODY

  Get some gumption, Marco. That shack probably sees about twelve blizzards a year. If we hadn’t killed Minnie and her nigger menagerie, what would they do? They’d hole up, that’s what they’d do.

  OSWALDO

  I’m afraid I have to agree with mi amigo here. We should move on to Red Rock while we have the chance.

  JODY

  If them niggers can ride it out at Minnie’s, so can we. We ain’t movin’ no damn where, we’re holin’ up.

  Bob (aka “MARCO”) makes an exasperated noise.

  Jody turns to him;

  JODY

  You got something you wanna’ say?

  BOB

  Have you ever been in a blizzard?

  JODY

  No.

  BOB

  I didn’t think so. Funny how the people who have been in a blizzard are the ones who want to go. And the people who don’t know what the hell they’re talking about, are the ones who want to stay.

  JODY

  Look, John Ruth is a rattlesnake. And the only way we’re gonna’ separate him from my sister is catch him off guard or at least on awkward footing. Now before they get to Red Rock, him here with a spoon in his mouth seemed the best bet.

  But if he has to sit here on his ass for three days chained to Daisy, waiting for the sun to come out… at some point… he’s gotta’ close his eyes.

  And that’s when you blow the top of his head off.

  JOE GAGE

  Look ambushing John Ruth while he ate was always risky for Daisy. But it was the best chance we had, so we were gonna’ chance it.

  This blizzard changes everything. And if the idea is to safely separate Daisy from this joker, this sit–tight–during–the–blizzard idea is obviously the safest way for Daisy.

  JODY

  Well if that’s obviously the safest way to free Daisy, that’s obviously the way we’re gonna’ do it. Daisy ain’t just my sister. She’s a goddamn dependable

  member of this gang. And if any one of you ain’t willin’ to brave a blizzard to save a member of your own gang from a rope, you ought’ not be ridin’ with ’em.

  I guess they heard that.

  INT—MINNIE’S HABERDASHERY—SNOWY DAY

  Grouch Douglass tosses a table on top of another table face down.

  English Pete does the same thing.

  Both men hammer a nail into the underside of the table.

  FROM THE FRONT WINDOW OF MINNIE’S

  We see O.B. and Ruth’s chartered stagecoach arrive.

  MARCO

  watches too.

  MARCO

  (Spanish)

  Here they come.

  Grouch takes the hammer and hits the pounded in nail on the side, turning it into a hook.

  JODY

  Grabs a BIG BEAR SKIN, wrapping it around his shoulders, he says to his men;

  JODY

  Okay boys, this is it, get ready!

  English Pete bends his nail into a hook.

  Grouch turns the table back on its legs. Then takes one of his pistols and hangs it underneath the table on the self made hook.

  Marco piles on his winter wear.

  English Pete hangs his pistol on an under the table nail/hook.

  Jody goes to the cellar door, throws it open, and tells his men;

  JODY

  Now remember, it doesn’t matter if we have four men or forty, we’re still gonna’ be facing John Ruth chained to my sister with a pistol pointed at her belly. Now killin’ that fella’ ’fore he kills my sister, ain’t gonna’ be easy. But you best believe that’s exactly what we’re gonna’ do. So the name of the game here is patience. Trapped here for two or three days, at some point, he will close his eyes.

  GROUCH

  I think the first forty-five seconds he’s in the room is a good time.

  JODY

  If you gotta’ shot Grouch, you take it. But be right.

  Jody disappears in the cellar, closing the door in the floor behind him, but before he does he yells to the seated General Smithers;

  JODY

  (yelling)

  Remember old man, my sister don’t leave this mountain alive, neither do you!

  GEN.SMITHERS

  (yells back)

  I’ll do my best!

  The rest of the gang, Grouch, English Pete, and Marco the Mexican walk towards the front door. Marco is all bundled up. All three men look at each other. This is it. Good luck amigos. They pry open the door and Marco exits to deal with the stagecoach. Pete and Grouch nail the door shut.

  SMASH CUT TO

  INT—MINNIE’S HABERDASHERY—DAY

  TIME CUT: MINUTES LATER

  JOHN RUTH KICKS OPEN THE DOOR (the front door of Minnie’s), YANKING DOMERGUE in behind him, he SLAMS the door, only to see it doesn’t have a lock.

  We now show the audience this scene again, except this time from the perspective of The Domergue Gang, Grouch Douglass (Joe Gage), English Pete Hicox (Oswaldo Mobray) and Daisy Domergue.

  After seeing MARCO THE MEXICAN (BOB) outside, Domergue sees her two favorite gang members inside, GROUCH DOUGLASS (JOE GAGE) and ENGLISH PETE HICOX (OSWALDO MOBRAY).

  GROUCH DOUGLASS

  (JOE GAGE)

  Sitting at his table. & ENGLISH PETE HICOX

  (OSWALDO MOBRAY)

  Sitting in Sweet Dave’s chair.

  GROUCH (JOE) & ENGLISH PETE (OSWALDO)

  You have to nail it shut!

  DOMERGUE & JOHN RUTH

  look at them, “What?”

  GROUCH (JOE) & ENGLISH PETE (OSWALDO)

  There’s hammer and nails by the door!

  John Ruth turns to hold the door closed, sees the can of nails by his feet and the hammer lying beside it.

  He indicates for Domergue to hold the door closed. She does.

  John Ruth BANGS the nail with the hammer.

  ENGLISH PETE, sitting in Sweet Dave’s chair, watches the bounty hunter pound the nail. Then shifts his eyes over to Gen.Smithers, who looks down at his lap.

  ENGLISH PETE (OSWALDO)

  (whispering)

  Look at me old man.

  The Old Man brings his eyes up to the Englishman across from him.

  ENGLISH PETE (OSWALDO)

  Easy old boy. One wrong gesture… one awkwardly worded sentence… I put a bullet in your gizzard.

  The BANGING stops.

  Grouch (Joe) yells;

  GROUCH (JOE)

  You need to do…

  English Pete joins in…

  GROUCH & ENGLISH PETE

  … two pieces of wood!

  Both Domergue and John Ruth give them a bit of “a look”, then turn back to the door and get to work.

  BANG BANG BANG goes the hammer.

  GROUCH DOUGLASS (JOE GAGE)

  sits at his table with his diary and writing utensils in front of him.

  The CAMERA PANS DOWN BELOW THE TABLE. We see Grouch fingering the pistol in his holster with his gun hand.

  John Ruth finishes hammering in the second piece of wood.

  JOHN RUTH

  That door’s a son of a gun. Who’s the idiot that broke that, that Mexican fella’?

  Him and Domergue turn to face the room.

  DOMERGUE

  sees ENGLISH PETE, who hops to his feet.

  ENGLISH PETE (OSWALDO)

  Good heavens, a woman out in this white hell.

  Domergue smiles at Pete’s foppish accent.

  ENGLISH PETE (OSWALDO)

  (to Domergue)

  You must be frozen solid, poor thing.

  JOHN RUTH

  (to Oswaldo)

  Where’s the coffy?

  English Pete points to the pot belly stove and the non deadly BLUE COFFY POT. John Ruth YANKS Domergue over to it.

  ENGLISH PETE

  as OSWALDO MOBRAY hurries over to where John Ruth is making coffy, and makes conversation. But his real purpose is to cut off John Ruth, and make the bounty hunter STOP and pay attention to the little English man. Which is another way of saying, not paying attention to Grouch Douglass, whose plan is to shoot John Ruth from his chair, if he can get a good shot, during the bounty hunter’s first disorienting sixty seconds in the room.

  JOHN RUTH

  Looks like Minnie’s got ’er a full house. When did you fella’s arrive?

  ENGLISH PETE (OSWALDO)

  About forty minutes ago.

  UNDERNEATH GROUCH’S TABLE

  His gun hand removes his pistol from its holster. The end of the barrel finds John Ruth.

  John Ruth turns and gestures towards Grouch at the table. English Pete steps into Ruth’s line of vision ever so slightly blocking his view.

  JOHN RUTH

  Is that your driver?

  ENGLISH PETE (OSWALDO)

  No, he’s a passenger. The driver lit out. He said he was going to spend the blizzard shacked up with a friend.

  John Ruth was more concentrated on pouring his coffy than listening to English Pete’s horse shit story.

  JOHN RUTH

  Lucky devil.

  John Ruth takes a drink of coffy and spits it out.

  JOHN RUTH

  Jesus Christ, that’s awful!

  ENGLISH PETE & DOMERGUE

  laugh.

  JOHN RUTH

  Christ almighty, what that Mexican fella’ do, soak his ole’ socks in the pot?

  UNDERNEATH GROUCH’S TABLE

  His thumb COCKS BACK the pistol’s hammer.

  CAMERA BEHIND PISTOL

  He moves the pistol barrel to get the best shot of John Ruth.

  ENGLISH PETE (OSWALDO)

  I think we all felt the same way, but were a little too polite to say something.

  DOMERGUE

  He don’t have that problem.

  JOHN RUTH

  Where’s the coffy?

  ENGLISH PETE (OSWALDO)

  There.

  John Ruth starts making coffy.

  Giving Grouch Douglass a perfect target of his broad back.

  JOHN RUTH

  So all three of you on the way to Red Rock when the blizzard stopped ya’, huh?

  English Pete catches Domergue’s eye.

  With his hand held low, he gestures with his fingers for her to step away from John Ruth (as much as she can).

  ENGLISH PETE (OSWALDO)

  Yes, all three of us were on that stagecoach out there.

  Domergue sees the gesture, and looks to Pete’s eyes.

  JOHN RUTH

  Where’s the well water?

  ENGLISH PETE (OSWALDO)

  Right there.

  Domergue’s eyes shift over to Grouch, and she sees the pistol pointed at John Ruth.

  Daisy BLURTS OUT;

  DOMERGUE

  The new Sheriff of Red Rock is traveling with us.

  English Pete’s eyebrows instinctively raise.

  Grouch changes his mind about shooting John Ruth.

  JOHN RUTH

  Sheriff of Red Rock, that’ll be the day! If he’s a goddamn sheriff, I’m a monkey’s uncle.

  DOMERGUE

  Good, then you can share bananas with your nigger friend in the stable.

  Both English Pete and Grouch Douglass hear this.

  UNDERNEATH GROUCH’S TABLE

  The pistol is replaced in its holster.

  GROUCH

  (to himself)

  Look’s like we’re gonna’ hafta’ do this the hard way.

  Pete, hearing “nigger friend in the stable”, but ignoring it, asks;

  ENGLISH PETE (OSWALDO)

  So the new Sheriff of Red Rock is traveling with you?

  JOHN RUTH

  He’s lyin’, he ain’t sheriff of nothin’.

  He’s a southern renegade. He’s just talkin’ his self outta’ freezin’ to death, is all.

  CUT TO

  INT—MINNIE’S BASEMENT—UNDERGROUND

  Jody Domergue listening to what’s being said in the room above him.

  As John Ruth talks brutal to his sister, a nasty sneer breaks out on Jody’s mouth.

  JOHN RUTH (OS)

  (to Domergue)

  What the fuck I tell you ’bout talkin’? I will bust you in the mouth right in front of these people, I don’t give a fuck!

  JODY

  (quietly to himself)

  I’ll remember you said that to my sister, when I cut off all your fingers and make you eat them one by one.

  CUT TO BLACK

  WE FOLLOW

  Chris’ bleeding leg, using a chair as a crutch, leaving a blood trail behind him, as he reaches the side of Minnie and Sweet Dave’s bed. Maj.Warren, holding his bloody crotch where his balls used to be, lies in the bed.

  He’s holding John Ruth’s pistol-rifle.

  Both Maj.Warren and Cap’t.Mannix have shed their uniform jackets. Both men are sweating on the outside and burning up on the inside.

  Chris sits in the chair by the bed, and talks to Maj.Warren.

  CHRIS

  How ya’ doin’ oleboy?

  MAJ.WARREN

  I got my nuts blown off, I’m bleedin’ like a stuck pig, I’m gonna’ die, and these motherfuckers did it, that’s how I’m doin’. How you doin’?

  CHRIS

  Well my leg hurts really bad, but I think—

  MAJ.WARREN

  I was bein’ sarcastic, I don’t give a fuck about your leg!