CHRIS

  Major Nigger, General Smithers wishes me to inform you—

  MAJ.WARREN

  —I heard ’em hillbilly.

  MAJ.WARREN

  (to CHRIS)

  Inform this old cracker I was in Baton Rouge as well.

  (beat)

  On the other side.

  CHRIS

  (to Maj.Warren)

  Oh that’s interesting.

  (to the General)

  General Smithers, he said—

  GEN.SMITHERS

  Cap’t. Mannix, inform this nigger I don’t acknowledge the uniforms of Northern niggers.

  MAJ.WARREN

  You captured a whole Colored Command that day. But no Colored Troopers ever made it to a camp, did they?

  The Old Man finally turns and looks at the black Major.

  GEN.SMITHERS

  (to Maj.Warren)

  We had neither the time, the food, or the inclination to care for Northern horses or Northern niggers.

  (beat)

  So we shot them where they stood.

  Just as Maj.Warren’s hand moves to his pistol butt, Oswaldo Mobray appears between the two men and says;

  OSWALDO

  Gentlemen, I know Americans aren’t apt to let a little thing like an unconditional surrender get in the way of a good war. But I strongly suggest we don’t restage The Battle of Baton Rouge during a blizzard in Minnie’s Haberdashery.

  Oswaldo does have a calming influence on the tension.

  He continues;

  OSWALDO

  (to Maj.Warren)

  Now my Nubian friend, while I realize passions are high, that was a while ago. And if you shoot this unarmed old man

  (placing his hand on Smithers’ shoulder)

  I guarantee I will hang you by the neck until you are dead, once we arrive in Red Rock.

  Chris Mannix looks over at Maj.Warren and says;

  CHRIS

  I guarantee that too.

  John Ruth chimes in over by the bar drinking with Domergue.

  JOHN RUTH

  Yeah Warren, that the problem with old men. You can kick ’em down the stairs and say it’s an accident, but ya’ can’t just shoot ’em.

  OSWALDO

  Now gentlemen, since we may be trapped here close together like for a few days, may I suggest a possible solution? We divide Minnie’s in half. The Northern side and The Southern side. With the dinner table operating as neutral territory. We could say the fireplace side of the room acts as a symbolic representative of Georgia. While the bar represents.…

  (thinking of a place)

  … Philadelphia.

  John Ruth from the bar, by Domergue, says loudly;

  JOHN RUTH

  As long as the bar’s Philadelphia, I agree.

  CUT TO

  EXT—MINNIE’S HABERDASHERY—DAY

  We see Maj.Warren and O.B. in this lousy weather remove the three dead bodies from on top of the stagecoach.

  It ain’t easy.

  The SHOT of Maj.Warren and O.B. starts ZOOMING BACK until we realize we’re looking at them through a window. We continue to ZOOM BACK FARTHER till we see Oswaldo at the window watching the men.

  CU OSWALDO MOBRAY

  The little English man sips his coffy as he watches the two Americans deal with the dead bodies.

  JOE GAGE

  lies dozing on a cot.

  CHRIS & GENERAL SMITHERS

  sit in the two cozy chairs by the fire.

  JOHN RUTH (w/Domergue)

  Pours himself a cup of coffy from a freshly made pot.

  As he drinks he drifts over to the kitchen area, and sees the discarded HALF PLUCKED CHICKEN.

  BOB

  Checks the stew, replaces the lid on the top of the pot, and turns around to face John Ruth (w/Domergue) holding the half plucked chicken in his hand.

  JOHN RUTH

  (meaning the chicken)

  What the hell is this?

  BOB

  It’s a chicken.

  JOHN RUTH

  No it’s not. It’s a half plucked chicken. A half plucked chicken is bad luck. We don’t need bad luck in a blizzard. Now what’s it doing here?

  BOB

  I was plucking it when your stage arrived.

  JOHN RUTH

  And you stopped to take care of the passengers?

  BOB

  Si.

  JOHN RUTH

  Well… you’re not taking care of the passengers now?

  BOB

  I thought better to deal with the stew.

  John Ruth roughly shoves the chicken into Bob’s hands;

  JOHN RUTH

  Pluck the chicken.

  Bob takes the chicken and sits down on a stool and finishes the job of plucking it.

  At this point in the story almost everybody has been bullied by John Ruth at some point or another.

  MAJ.WARREN KICKS THE FRONT DOOR OPEN—The WIND from outside WHIPS INTO THE ROOM—Maj.Warren and O.B. hurry inside and SLAM the door behind them—Maj.Warren holds the door closed as O.B. pounds nails into two pieces of wood—nailing the door shut.

  When O.B. finishes, he drops the hammer to the floor;

  O.B.

  That damn door’s a dirty whore.

  The two freezing men head straight for the pot belly stove and the coffy pot.

  They’re so cold they don’t even remove their winter coats.

  John Ruth picks up the coffy pot and starts pouring the stagecoach driver and the black man cups.

  JOHN RUTH

  I just made some more coffy. Git some in ya.

  They drink the coffy.

  JOHN RUTH

  (quietly to Maj.Warren)

  We still got that same deal we talked about in the wagon? I help you protect your eight thousand, you help me protect my ten?

  MAJ.WARREN

  Yeah, I guess.

  JOHN RUTH

  One of them fella’s

  (meaning Bob or Joe or Oswaldo or Chris)

  is not what he says he is.

  O.B.

  What is he?

  JOHN RUTH

  He’s in cahoots with this one

  (meaning Domergue)

  that’s what he is. One of them, maybe even two of ’em, is here to see Domergue goes free. And to accomplish that goal, they’ll kill everybody in here.

  Maj.Warren looks over to Domergue who hasn’t any expression.

  JOHN RUTH

  (CON’T)

  And they got ’em a coupla’ days. So all they gotta’ do is sit tight and wait for a winda’ of opportunity. And that’s when they strike, huh bitch?

  DOMERGUE

  If you say so, John.

  MAJ.WARREN

  (to John Ruth)

  Are you sure you’re not just being paranoid?

  John Ruth doesn’t even entertain the question, he just continues;

  JOHN RUTH

  Our best bet is this duplicitous fella’ ain’t as cool a customer as Daisy here. He won’t have the leather patience it takes to just sit here and wait.

  O.B.

  Wait for what?

  JOHN RUTH

  An opportunity to kill us all! But waiting for an oportunity, and knowing it’s the right one, isn’t so easy. If he can’t handle it, he’ll stop waiting. He’ll try an’ create his opportunity. And that’s when Mr.Jumpy reveals himself. And I bet he does it ’fore mornin’. I bet he does it way ’fore mornin’.

  Maj.Warren turns his head in the direction of Domergue.

  MAJ.WARREN

  What do you got to say about all this?

  DOMERGUE

  What do I got to say? About John Ruth’s ravings? He’s absolutely right. Me and one of them fella’s is in cahoots. And we’re just waitin’ for everybody to go to sleep, that’s when we gonna’ kill y’all. Then we just sit tight, drink Mezcal and eat stew till the sun comes out.

  JOE GAGE

  lying down on the cot, with his cowboy hat over his face, hears the bounty hunter John Ruth call out to the room;

  JOHN RUTH

  Okay everybody, hear this.

  Joe takes the hat away from his face, and remaining vertical, listens to the bounty hunter’s speech.

  JOHN RUTH (w/Domergue) stands in the middle of the room, talking to the other people inside of Minnie’s.

  JOHN RUTH

  (pointing at Domergue)

  This here is Daisy Domergue. She’s wanted dead or alive for murder. Ten thousand dollars. That money’s mine boys. Don’t wanna’ share it, ain’t gonna’ lose it. When the sun comes out, I’m taking this woman into Red Rock to hang. Now is there anybody here committed to stopping me from doing that?

  Nobody says anything.

  Not Oswaldo Mobray.

  Not Joe Gage.

  Not Bob.

  Not Chris and the Old General.

  Not O.B.

  Not The Major.

  JOHN RUTH

  Really? Nobody gotta’ problem with this?

  Nobody says anything.

  John Ruth (taking Domergue with him) slowly crosses the room;

  JOHN RUTH

  Well I guess that’s very fortunate for me. However, I hope you will all understand, I just can’t take your word. Circumstances force me to take precautions.

  When John Ruth stops walking, he’s standing at the foot of Joe Gage’s cot, looking down at the reclining cowboy.

  Looking up at the bounty hunter, the cow puncher says;

  JOE GAGE

  When you say precautions, why do I feel you mean me?

  JOHN RUTH

  Because I’m gonna’ take your gun, son.

  JOE GAGE

  You are?

  JOHN RUTH

  Yes I am. Nothing personal.

  JOE GAGE

  Just mine? The Hangman got himself a gun?

  JOHN RUTH

  I’ll be dealing with his gun after I deal with yours.

  Joe Gage raises from his reclined position to a sitting position, with his hand slowly drifting to the butt of the pistol on his hip.

  JOE GAGE

  Feel kinda’ naked without it.

  John Ruth puts his hand on the butt of his gun, and says;

  JOHN RUTH

  I still got mine. I’ll protect you.

  Joe Gage almost can’t believe the degree of bastard that is John Ruth. Still in his sitting position, he places his hand on the butt of his gun.

  Domergue, standing there next to John Ruth, thinks, oh shit.

  Joe Gage looking up at John Ruth says;

  JOE GAGE

  A bastard’s work is never done, huh John Ruth?

  John Ruth looking down at Joe Gage says;

  JOHN RUTH

  That’s right, Joe Gage. Gimmie the gun.

  Joe Gage laughs a little to himself at John Ruth’s brazen masculinity, then opens his mouth to say something cool.…

  WHEN…

  Major Warren SWIFTLY COMES UP BEHIND HIM—THROWING HIS ARM ACROSS HIS NECK—AND A KNIFE BLADE DUG DEEP (but not too deep) INTO THE SIDE OF JOE GAGE’S NECK.

  Joe Gage starts to struggle.

  MAJ.WARREN

  Calm down.

  Joe Gage freezes.

  MAJ.WARREN

  (CON’T)

  Take your hands away from your pistol.

  He does.

  MAJ.WARREN

  (CON’T)

  Blink your eyes if you’re calm.

  Joe Gage BLINKS.

  Maj.Warren looks up at John Ruth;

  MAJ.WARREN

  (CON’T)

  Did he blink?

  JOHN RUTH

  He blinked.

  MAJ.WARREN

  (to Joe Gage)

  Blink if you’re gonna’ remain calm?

  Joe Gage BLINKS.

  JOHN RUTH

  He blinked.

  MAJ.WARREN

  Take his gun.

  John Ruth reaches down and removes Joe Gage’s pistol from the holster on his hip. As he does he tries to soften the blow.

  JOHN RUTH

  I’m real sorry about this, son. Like I said, nothing personal. Just a precaution.

  Maj.Warren takes the knife away, lets go of Joe Gage’s neck, and quickly backs away.

  Joe doesn’t overreact once he’s freed.

  He touches his throat. Touches the blood running down the side of his neck.

  He removes a BANDANA from his pocket, and ties it around his neck where the knife wound was. As he does he glances over his shoulder at Maj.Warren.

  JOE GAGE

  (to Maj.Warren)

  Pretty sneaky.

  MAJ.WARREN

  folds up his knife as he looks back at Joe.

  John Ruth approaches Oswaldo the hangman.

  JOHN RUTH

  I’m afraid the same applies to you too Mr.Mobray.

  Oswaldo holds open his suit jacket, exposing his pistol in its holster on his belt, for John Ruth to extract.

  OSWALDO

  Precautions must be taken because life is too sweet to lose.

  John Ruth removes the gun from the holster on Mobray’s hip.

  Then the bounty hunter places both pistols on a table.

  John Ruth asks Domergue;

  JOHN RUTH

  Hand me that little bucket.

  She hands him a little bucket.

  He takes the two men’s pistols apart piece by piece, and places the pieces in the little bucket. John crumbles the weapons in his hands like dirt clods.

  JOHN RUTH

  O.B.?

  O.B. steps up.

  JOHN RUTH

  (CON’T)

  Go to the outhouse. Dump this bucket down the shit hole.

  O.B.

  Why do I gotta’ go outside?

  JOHN RUTH

  Your jacket’s already on. And I sorta kinda trust you.

  Ruth looks at Joe Gage and Oswaldo Mobray.

  JOHN RUTH

  (CON’T)

  When we get to Red Rock I’ll replace the weapons you lost. That’s the best I can do. When he leaves, you two nail the door behind him.

  O.B. takes the little bucket, and YANKS THE FRONT DOOR OPEN—The WIND from outside WHIPS THROUGH THE ROOM—Oswaldo holds the door closed as Joe hammers nails into the door.

  John Ruth turns to Bob.

  JOHN RUTH

  (to Bob)

  Okay Mr.Mex, where’s your guns?

  BOB

  I don’t have a gun.

  JOHN RUTH

  What’s that?

  John Ruth points at a double barrel shotgun mounted on the wall.

  BOB

  Oh well, there’s that.

  Bob takes the shotgun off the wall and hands it to John Ruth.

  He cracks open the weapon and removes two shotgun shells. Placing them on a nearby table.

  John, holding the shotgun by the barrel, walks to the stone fireplace, and SMASHES the wooden stock against the stones. He tosses the useless gun to the floor, and looks to his audience.

  JOHN RUTH

  So any more guns I don’t know about? Now later I’m gonna’ remember asking this question, and I’m going to remember your answer. So, one more time, any guns I don’t know about?

  JOE GAGE

  You got ’em all chief. We’re your prisoners.

  JOHN RUTH

  Oh don’t be so melodramatic, Joe Gage.

  Bob steps up.

  BOB

  I just want to make an announcement.

  JOHN RUTH

  What announcement?

  BOB

  Stew’s on.

  JOHN RUTH

  Well then, let’s eat.

  Everybody except Gen.Smithers moves to the kitchen area. Chris tries to get the General to come over, but the old man refuses, preferring to sit in his chair by the fire by himself.

  Bob has laid out a number of bowls, and big brown wooden spoons.

  One by one they go to the stew pot, take the ladle, pour some stew in the bowl, sit down at the picnic table, and eat.

  John Ruth & Domergue.

  Chris Mannix.

  Major Marquis Warren.

  Oswaldo Mobray.

  Joe Gage.

  and last up, Bob.

  INT/EXT—OUTHOUSE—SNOWY DAY

  O.B. tosses the pistol pieces down the shit hole.

  Then opens the door.

  We see how snowy and brutal the weather has become.

  He uses the line he and Chris stretched out earlier to make his way back to Minnie’s.

  INT—MINNIE’S HABERDASHERY—DAY

  Everybody eats in silence. Silence that is except for all the GOBBLING SOUNDS as they gobble up the stew.

  JOHN RUTH & DOMERGUE

  are having a little trouble eating with their hands cuffed to each other. John Ruth takes the TINY HANDCUFF KEY out of his pocket, and holds it up for his female prisoner to see.

  JOHN RUTH

  I’m gonna’ let you loose while we eat. Don’t get any ideas, I ain’t goin’ soft on ya’. You lift your ass even one inch off this seat, I’ll put a bullet right in your goddamn throat.

  He UNLOCKS the handcuffs.

  For the second time in the movie, Domergue’s free from Big John’s iron.

  THEN….…

  O.B. KICKS OPEN THE FRONT DOOR, then moves quickly inside and SLAMS IT SHUT.

  Chris jumps up from the table, and helps him hold the door while O.B. pounds the nails that keep it shut.

  As he pounds in the nails O.B. says;

  O.B.

  Goddamn this fucking fucking whore!

  The door’s done.

  O.B. gets some stew.

  Chris sits back down at the table, next to Maj.Warren and across from John Ruth and Domergue, and starts digging into his stew bowl.