“Did she say anything?” Drayden asked, his voice urgent.

  “She asked if she knew me,” Nick answered. “She looked confused, but there was something else. Something like hope, longing. I could see my own emotions echoed in her eyes. I know every nuance of her beautiful face as well as I know my own reflection in a mirror. Her brow was drawn low, and her mouth tight, as if trying to figure out who I was and it caused her pain.” Nick stopped pacing and turned to his alpha. His voice trembled. He clenched his jaw to keep from howling. Finally, he spoke. “She didn’t know me.” He wished he was stronger, that his voice didn’t waver. But not only was she lost to him, she also didn’t know who he was. He was a stranger to his mate. “My female doesn’t know who I am.”

  Drayden walked over to Nick and pulled him into a hug. Nick didn’t care that others might not understand the need for him to have the touch of his alpha, the comfort of someone who loved him like a brother. “See this for what it is, Beta,” Drayden growled. “She is not lost to you, not if the bond between you is strong enough to break through whatever magic the Order is using to keep you apart. This is hope.”

  “He’s right,” his wolf rumbled. “She’s alive. Some part of her remembers us. Her soul sought out its other half. If she didn’t remember us, there would have been no reason for her to do so.”

  Nick considered the words of his alpha and the wolf. They were both correct. Kara still felt a link between them. Now, he just needed to figure out how to get through to her. The bond was still there. He just needed to access it.

  “What were you thinking about when it happened?” Drayden asked. He pulled back from Nick, giving his shoulders one final squeeze.

  Nick didn’t want to answer. He didn’t want to share his private thoughts or moments about his mate with anyone, not even his alpha.

  “I don’t need details,” Drayden huffed, seeming to understand Nick’s feelings on the matter.

  “I remembered one of our worst fights and one of the nights I allowed myself to hold her while she slept. The emotions the memories evoked were”—he paused and swallowed—“intense.”

  “Emotions make the bond stronger,” Drayden pointed out. “I, obviously, haven’t experienced the bond, but I’ve learned a lot about it over the course of my existence, and mated males have told me that when they or their mate experience intense emotions, the feelings cannot be blocked. Maybe that is why the bond was able to reconnect, though briefly.”

  Nick considered it and had to admit that it was as good a guess as any.

  “So, try focusing on more of those memories. Even if they’re painful,” Drayden added quickly. “Pain can be an overpowering, even crippling, emotion. Mix that with the fact that she has the other half of your soul. I would guess that combination would create one hell of a response.”

  Nick looked out over the empty field and finally nodded. “I need to be alone. And being surrounded by her scent will help.” He turned back toward the mansion without another word. He didn’t bother to stop for a shower, a drink, or food. Nick marched straight to his mate’s room. He shut the door behind him and closed his eyes as he slid to the floor. His head leaned back against the wood, and he whispered. “Come back to me, Kara.” He let his memories of her assault his mind. “I’m here. Help me find you.”

  Chapter

  Ten

  “The only thing certain in life is death and taxes, or so I’ve heard. And at the time, my young, uneducated mind didn't fully understand the saying. Now, experience, and, well, more experience has shown me that the saying is bullshit. It is certain in life that you will experience many things so much worse than either of those aforementioned crapfests. It is certain in life that you will endure heartache, torture of various kinds, be it physical or emotional, shock, disbelief, and rage to the point of possibly committing murder. It is also a certainty that you will experience joy until your heart might burst from the sheer radiance of it. You will experience love of many kinds—some you might expect and some that might knock you right off your feet and onto your possibly too-big backside. So, are there certainties in life? Absolutely. Can anyone predict how you will encounter those certainties? Nope. They can only tell you to try and prepare yourself for them. How do we do that? I haven’t figured that out yet. Maybe saying yes to drugs. Okay, not really. Therapy? Definitely. Being open to learning, change, offering forgiveness, grace, and accepting that you will not always be in control. This is a start, I think.” ~Jen

  * * *

  “I want it known that I am not okay with being left behind.” Sally stomped, maturely, back and forth from one end of the room to the other. She, Costin, Gavril, Rachel, Bethany, Titus, Slate, and Thia were all battened down in an enormous suite within the sprite’s great hall. Sally hadn’t figured out exactly how big the great hall was, but it was vast, and the number of rooms within seemed endless. She wondered if the building was like the Harry Potter tents that appeared tiny on the outside but were basically entire houses within. She shook her head at her meandering thoughts. Jen had mentioned several times lately during one of Sally’s ever-increasing zoned-out sessions that she must have pregnancy brain. If that meant that Sally had the attention span of a two-year-old on Mountain Dew capped off with a side of speed, then her friend was not wrong.

  “I thought you were upset about being left behind,” Costin’s humor-laced voice filled her mind. “How did you go from being upset to Mountain Dew-drugged toddlers? Wait. Are you thinking of filling Thia up with some caffeinated concoction and then giving her back to Jen when they return? Because I’m totally on board with that.”

  Sally stopped and turned to look at her mate, who was draped across one of three large couches filling the living area. One leg was slung over the end of the armrest, and his back leaned against the pillows as his left arm laid across the back of the couch. He looked more like a lazy jungle cat than a wolf.

  “Want me to purr for you?” He winked and smiled, flashing her one of his dimples.

  Sally rolled her eyes at him. “Flirting with me is not going to un-tick me off.”

  “That’s not a word.”

  “Don’t care.”

  “It’s worked before.”

  “Not this time.”

  She continued her pointless walking and found herself rubbing her small, rounded stomach. It was barely a bump, but she could definitely tell it was no longer flat. Sally knew for the safety of their child that she couldn’t go with Jacque, Jen, and the others to help deal with Peri, but that didn’t mean she liked it. The fae held a special place in Sally’s heart, and she always would. No matter what the woman had said and done, Peri would always be family to Sally.

  “It’s going to be all right, brown eyes,” Costin said. Though his voice was in her mind, his arms were very much touching her physical body as he wrapped them around her from behind, forcing her to stop pacing. He laid his hands over her stomach and gently flexed his fingers. “They’re going to bring her home. And when they do, you will be here safe and well rested so you can lay on the pregnancy guilt trip about how she shouldn’t have worried you while you’re in such a state, and so on and so forth like you females do so well.”

  “Are you trying to tick off all women everywhere just to distract your mate?” Bethany asked from where she sat holding Hope. The two-month-old girl was currently being taught all about werewolves, courtesy of Titus. Although she couldn’t understand a word Titus said, the little girl stared at him with rapt attention while she gripped Bethany’s finger tightly in her small grasp. Sally’s son rarely left Hope’s side. He’d taken on the role as her protector, and he took his job very seriously.

  “Considering only the females in this room can hear me,” Costin said, his breath warming Sally’s neck, distracting her in other ways, “I’m apparently only trying to tick off you all. It’s a small price to pay for her peace of mind.”

  “Hmm, I can’t even begrudge you that.” Bethany glanced down at Hope. “I’d think less of you if you simply let her fret in order to keep from offending us.” Bethany looked up and met Sally’s eyes. “He is right,” she told her. “They will bring Peri back. She’s hit rock bottom.”

  “The only place left to go is up,” Sally finished for her.

  Bethany smiled. “Exactly.”

  The door opened, and all of them turned to see Sally’s mother walk in, pushing a tray loaded with food. Cindy walked toward a large table and looked at Sally. “I was hungry, which made me think that maybe you all were hungry. I just brought an assortment, courtesy of some help from the sprites, considering I didn’t really know what anyone wanted.”

  Sally smiled. “Thanks, Mom, that was really thoughtful.”

  “She misses you,” Costin said through their bond. “You haven’t spent much time with her since we found out about the baby.”

  “There’s been a lot going on,” Sally argued. But he was right. She had been avoiding her mom and dad. The irritating thing was Sally didn’t know why. Truth be told, she hadn’t wanted to be around anyone other than her mate, Jacque, and Jen since Peri had lost her crap. Maybe it was because she felt safe being vulnerable in front of them. Her parents had never made her feel weak or judged her for how she’d handled her struggles. They hadn’t said anything when she’d shut down after finding out about Peri. But she did feel weak. After learning everything she had about her mom, Sally realized just how incredibly strong Cindy Morgan was. There was a part of her that didn’t feel worthy of being her daughter.

  “Okay, now you’re just being silly,” Costin told her. “You are amazing.”

  “You’re my mate, so you have to say that,” Sally whispered.

  Costin chuckled. “You’re right. I have to tell you the truth, because that’s what mates do.”

  “Sally?” Cindy held out a sandwich to her. “Peanut butter and jelly?”

  Her mouth watered. Thank goodness she hadn’t developed any weird cravings so far, nor had she discovered any aversions to foods that she loved before her pregnancy. Sally nodded and stepped out of Costin’s arms, walked over to her mom, and took the offered food.

  Cindy stepped closer and laid a hand on Sally’s arm. “Your dad and I”—she paused and bit her bottom lip—“we love you. You know that, right?”

  Sally’s lips turned up. “I do, Mom.”

  “I’m here if you need anything or want to talk. But I also understand if you don’t.”

  Sally frowned. “You do?”

  Her mom nodded and glanced over Sally’s shoulder. “Once upon a time, I would have been the first person you came to when you were dealing with stuff. But our circumstances change as we grow. You have a mate now. He should be the first person you turn to. That doesn’t mean I will ever stop being here. Neither will I be offended if you don’t seek me out. I want you to know that. I’m okay, and so is your dad.”

  Sally let out a deep breath. How did moms always know what to say? Was it a superpower they developed during pregnancy or something that evolved over time during motherhood? Sally glanced at Titus as her free hand rested on her stomach. However it happened, she hoped it was a skill she would obtain. “Thank you, Mom. I needed to hear that.”

  Cindy gave her a quick hug and then started offering food to the rest of the room. Costin carried Titus over to the table and sat him down, then gathered up Thia and Slate and sat them in highchairs. As he prepared each of the kids their own plates of food, Sally watched him. He caught her and winked. “I’m totally getting you all hot and bothered with my mad-dad skills, aren’t I?” he asked her without so much as a pause in dealing out the food.

  Sally snorted as she took a bite of her sandwich. “Totally.”

  “You say that like I can’t sense your emotions or smell your—”

  “Costin,” Sally mentally cut him off, feeling the heat of her blush on her skin. Her mate still loved to tease her mercilessly.

  “Gotta keep things interesting, Sally-mine,” he purred through the bond. “Wouldn’t want you to get bored.”

  Sally couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “I doubt our lives will ever be boring,” she told him before popping the last bite of her sandwich into her mouth.

  Titus climbed into one of the empty chairs at the table and smiled up at her. “Nope,” her son agreed. “We will never be bored, especially once Torion gets here.”

  Sally frowned. “Who’s Torion?”

  Titus grinned, and despite the fact that he wasn’t Costin’s birth son, he managed to look just as cheeky as her mate. “Sorry, Mommy, I can’t tell you that. But I can tell you he’s awesome. And Thia is going to love him.”

  Sally’s eyes widened and then snapped to Costin’s. “Oh dear.”

  Alston stood at the entrance to the enormous mountain. It reminded him a bit of the warlock stronghold. Outside, a perfectly formed geologic feature, but inside, a fortress fit for a king. He’d used his power to mold and shape the earth into rooms, halls, and spaces that would be useful for his army. As he worked on the new Order headquarters, he’d reached out to some of his long-time spies amongst the ranks of the pixies and trolls, sending them out to gather information and new warriors. That had been a month ago. Now the fortress teamed with supernatural followers: trolls, pixies, warlocks, fae, and vampires. No elves had joined, but he wasn’t concerned. Ludcarab could handle those warriors. He was likely keeping them close for the time being. Cain had not arrived either, though Alston had sent out a few vampires to let the vampire king know their new compound was ready. Alston could only assume Cain was busy rebuilding the vampire community as quickly as possible.

  “You’ve done well.” Shehan, the warlock leader for the Order, walked up beside him. Thus far, she was the only leader that had made herself known after Peri’s destruction. Shehan hadn’t been at the compound when it had gone down. Thankfully, she’d been out recruiting more of her people.

  “It’s not the first time we’ve had to rebuild, Shehan,” Alston reminded her.

  “True.”

  “Still no word from the other supernatural representatives?” Alston asked.

  She shook her head. “It’s time to appoint new representatives. We have to assume they went down with the compound.”

  Alston agreed. Now that they had a place to continue to work on their plan, there was no reason to wait. They needed to move forward.

  “What about Ludcarab?” the warlock leader asked.

  Alston clenched his teeth as he thought of the elf king he so despised. “He will be here when it is time.”

  “That’s quite cryptic.” Shehan narrowed her eyes on him.

  Alston shrugged. “We’re all evil masterminds, Shehan. ‘Sharing is caring’ is not our motto.”

  The warlock snorted. “Despite all we’ve lost since Perizada’s stunt, I think you gained a sense of humor.” She nodded at him and walked further into the mountain. “It looks good on you. But evil masterminds or not, sharing is caring because it keeps our evil mastermind asses from being blown up. Maybe think about that a little.”

  Alston watched the warlock representative walk away, her words rubbing against the inside of his skull like wool against his skin. There were definitely secrets among the Order representatives. Could it have been some of those very secrets that had allowed Perizada her way in? Maybe. But transparency required trust. And Alston didn’t trust anyone.

  “There’s still no sign of Tenia, my lord.” A small voice came from behind him.

  Alston turned and looked down. One of his pixie spies, a little over a foot tall, stood staring up at him.

  “I’ve searched everywhere, even the warlock mountain,” the pixie hurried on. “I found the fae you’d assigned to accompany her and the djinn.”

  Alston titled his head as he waited for the pixie to continue.

  “He’d been killed. Stabbed with a fae blade.”

  “The blade had been left behind?” Alston asked, his brow drawing low.

  “N-n-oo,” the pixie stuttered. “I could feel the magic residue left from the blade in the wound. He’d been dead for a while. But a fae blade leaves quite a significant amount of power.”

  Alston took a slow, deep breath and waved the pixie off. If Tenia was alive, but her son, who had been in the compound at the time of the cold fire, was dead, then he no longer had any leverage over her. It wouldn’t be surprising if she’d killed the fae male who’d accompanied her to the warlock stronghold. It also wouldn’t be surprising if she joined with his enemies now that she didn’t have a child to protect. “That would be most unfortunate,” he muttered to himself. Most unfortunate indeed. Tenia was entirely too powerful to have as an enemy. The uniqueness of her power made her especially dangerous. The fae would have to be removed at the first available opportunity.

  Turning his back to the interior of the mountain, Alston looked out over the vast range of peaks arrayed before him. Most of it was bare, as winter still held the plants in its grips, but here and there, tiny buds of new life began to emerge. The promise of spring. Soon the mountain range would be covered from top to bottom in all different shades of green. He took a deep breath, the cold air filling his lungs. A new season was coming, and, with it, a new Order.

  Cain wrapped the darkness around him as he stood on the far side of the Wyoming mountain range, staring in the direction of Alston’s new construction. The high fae had been busy. Cain had been busy as well, searching high and low, contacting old covens, reestablishing his ranks. So many had been destroyed by those accursed wolves. But he would rebuild. That was the great thing about being a vampire. As long as there were humans to turn, he had a potential army just waiting to be built.

  The problem was, while Cain had been away from the high fae and Ludcarab, he’d discovered, or rediscovered, how very much he disliked both males. He found the idea of working with them again, even as a charade, downright nauseating.