When in my long past was I saved? Why?

  What could have possibly been happening to cause Peri to be in need of help from another? Why couldn’t she have saved herself? Question after question filled the high fae’s mind, and she couldn’t ask the damn draheim. Serapha was nowhere to be found.

  With the risk of her own thoughts potentially driving her mad, Peri returned to the cave and to the three supernaturals now in her care. Perhaps she could find a way not to screw this up. Don’t hold your breath. Pushing away thoughts of Lucian that would weaken her resolve to stay away, she turned her attention instead to Skender.

  “Does anyone else know of your history?” Peri sat in the cave they’d claimed as their temporary sanctuary. Tenia was still unconscious, and Peri used her magic to keep the woman clean and nourished. But she didn’t know what else she could do for the female fae. So Peri sat against the wall on the other side of the cave and watched as Skender did the best he could to care for her. He and Torion took turns brushing her hair, washing her face with warm water from a spring nearby, and even moving her limbs. Though Peri told him none of this was necessary, the wolf seemed to need to do something for Tenia.

  Upon hearing the question, Skender’s eyes grew large and darted to where Torion sat. It was obvious the wolf was worried about the boy realizing Skender’s story was about himself. But Peri didn’t care. She would shield no one from the truth, and she would not pretend for Skender’s benefit. Torion seemed absorbed in a one-sided conversation he was having with his mother. Skender’s eyes left the child and met Peri’s. “If my history was yours, would you go around sharing it?”

  Peri shrugged. Maybe he had a point. The wolf had a checkered past: convoluted, painful, and embarrassing. “Probably not.”

  “So forgive me if I do not broadcast my failures to the world.”

  “But some of this you didn’t know or didn’t remember,” Peri told him. She thought back to the sound of Skender’s voice as he’d spoken, the inflection and pauses, as if Skender seemed to be learning his story as much as Torion was. It had been very apparent to Peri that the wolf was shocked by the revelations coming from his own mouth.

  “That doesn’t change that it happened. It doesn’t change what I did.” Skender’s voice was thick with regret.

  Peri never thought she’d see a day that she could relate to the wolf who’d caused such pain to Sally, but here they were. Both of them looking back at the terrible pain they’d caused, unable to change it and drowning in the aftermath. “You might as well get it all out.” Peri motioned to Torion. “And give up the pretense that this story is about anyone but you. The boy is smart and resilient. He can handle it.”

  Skender’s face darkened as he stared back at her. Clearly Peri’s interference was not appreciated. He’d get over it.

  “I already know the story is about you, Skender,” Torion said. He shifted his body and faced them. “You’ve slipped up a couple of times.”

  Skender pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a defeated sigh. “I wish you were wrong, but I want you to know the truth, and I don’t want you to find out from anyone but me.”

  “Okay,” Torion said simply.

  Peri settled back against the wall and focused all her attention on the wolf across from her. She would let the new information about Skender’s story distract her from another wolf. At least for now.

  * * *

  Skender clenched his jaw and considered all the ways he could slant his story to make himself look less like a dirtbag. None existed. Everything he’d done was just as it appeared—horrible. “When I arrived back at the Order,” he began, picking the story up where he’d left off, “I helped Alston do something vile.” He waited to see what Torion’s reaction would be. The boy simply sat there listening, his eyes soft. Skender saw no judgment lurking in their depths, so he continued.

  “I helped him capture a healer that is a member of the Romanian wolf pack. Alston took her memories, her life, and erased it. He gave her a new life, one without her true mate, her friends, and her family.”

  “Why?” Torion asked, his face screwed up in confusion.

  “Because he wanted to gain her magic for the Order. He thought if he removed all her knowledge of the supernatural world and then reintroduced it to her from the Order’s viewpoint, she’d be willing to join them.” Skender felt disgusted as he remembered watching Alston work his power on Sally. How the hell had he let himself be a part of that?

  “What happened to the healer? Is she okay?”

  Skender grimaced. “She is now. But her experience, I’m sure, has left scars, the kind you can’t see. Scars on the inside.” He ran his hand down Tenia’s arm, gathering his thoughts. Then he forged on. “I lied to my pack. I purposely tried to mislead them in order to get what Alston wanted. I helped him steal the children of pack members. I fought against my own family. Even once I realized what I was doing was a mistake, I couldn’t leave. By that point, I’d felt the pull of my mate. It was the realization that I had a mate, and that she was so close, that seemed to snap me out of the trance I’d been in. I didn’t even realize that’s what it was until the fog lifted.

  “I’m not making excuses for what I did, Torion,” he added quickly. “No matter how or why it happened, I hurt people, and I can never take it back.”

  “Not going to lie, wolf,” Peri said. “Hearing it out loud from the mouth of the guilty is making me a little zappy.”

  Skender cast his eyes to the ground. “I wouldn’t blame you if you killed me where I sit, Peri. Though I would ask you to wait until I know with complete certainty that Torion and Tenia are safe.”

  “Don’t kill him.” Torion’s eyes were glassy with unshed tears. “Please, Perizada. Skender made mistakes. I make them all the time.” His small voice wavered as he spoke.

  “Some mistakes are bigger than others,” Peri said. “They have more serious consequences. Therefore, the punishment is more severe.”

  “What if someone says they’re sorry?” Torion asked. “And what if they really mean it? My mom says when I apologize, I must actually be sorry and not just because I got caught. What about then?”

  Skender kept his eyes on the ground, unable to meet the high fae’s gaze. He knew what Peri would say. Sometimes sorry just wasn’t good enough, no matter how sincere.

  “Do you think Skender is sorry because of what he did or because he got caught?” Peri asked Torion. It wasn’t what he expected her to say.

  “I think he’s sorry because he never wanted to hurt anyone, and then he did. And somehow that’s even more painful than doing something bad that you actually wanted to do.”

  Skender heard Peri let out a low whistle. “What are they feeding you kids these days? I swear each one is smarter than the last.” She cleared her throat and then added. “I think you’re right, kid. And I never thought I’d say this. In fact, I’m pretty sure at some point I believed hell would freeze over before I would ever extend an olive branch to Skender. But here we are.”

  Skender looked up and saw that she held her hands out, palms up, as if to punctuate their current circumstance.

  “I’ve killed hundreds, possibly thousands, because I let my anger control me. Am I any better than Skender?” She met his eyes. “The self-righteous bitch in me wants to say yes, just so you know.”

  Skender’s lips kicked up slightly, but not into a full-blown smile. There was too much pain, like nerves being exposed all over his body.

  “The reality is none of us are good. We all have the capacity to do horrendous things. And we all have the capacity to feel genuine remorse. After all that I have done, I know I have no room to judge you, Skender. I also know that we don’t get to pick and choose who deserves grace and mercy. If you and I don’t, then who does?”

  Skender felt a warm palm on his face, and his eyes dropped to meet green eyes staring back at him. “Soarele meu,” he whispered as he leaned closer to Tenia and pressed his hand over hers, tight against his flesh.

  “The answer to your question, Peri,” the fae said, her voice thin and weak from lack of use, “is none of us. But because the Great Luna loves us, she offers it freely. And we have the choice to offer it as well.”

  Skender shook his head. “I wouldn’t expect that of you,” he said. “You don’t know all that I’ve—”

  “I heard you, Skender,” she cut him off. “I heard everything.”

  Skender felt nausea build in his stomach at her words. “It doesn’t change anything, Tenia. I don’t deserve you.”

  She shook her head at him. “That’s not your choice. It’s mine. And I’m choosing you. I’m choosing us.” Then she turned and her face lit up when she saw her son. “Torion,” she gasped, reaching for him with her free hand.

  The boy didn’t hesitate. He threw himself at her, wrapping his small arms around her and burying his face against her neck. Skender heard the boy’s sobs and watched as Torion’s body shook with the emotions that he’d seemed to have kept hidden.

  “I’ve got you,” Tenia whispered. “You’re okay.”

  Skender couldn’t help himself. The wolf had to touch his mate. He ran a hand across her hair, over and over, knowing that her scent would be on him and his on her. He waited while mother and son reunited and felt his heart swell with love for both of them. They were both alive, unharmed, and for the moment, safe.

  Several minutes passed before Torion pulled back and sat on his heels. “You heard us?” he asked her.

  She nodded. “Every word. It’s what kept me here.” She looked at Skender. “Can you help me sit up? I’ve got a few questions for that fae who tried to barbeque us.”

  Skender smirked. He slid an arm under her lower back and lifted until she was in a sitting position. To his surprise, Tenia shifted her body so that she leaned against his side and then took his hand in hers and entwined their fingers. Tenia motioned for Torion to come to her. He scuttled over and smiled as he pressed against her other side. The joy on his face was contagious, regardless of any ugliness Skender had just confessed. Torion’s exhilaration at his mother’s waking was enough to push the darkness aside, for now.

  When she was settled, Tenia’s gaze landed on the high fae across from them. Skender looked at Peri as well. She didn’t appear the least bit unsettled. She simply watched them.

  “How the hell are we still alive?” Tenia said, her voice a sharp slap, which actually caused Peri to flinch. Before the high fae could answer, Tenia barreled on. “Why on earth did you think it was a good idea to use cold fire on the Order compound? Have you lost your ever-loving mind? Did you consider there might be a different way to take down that scum? Did anyone else know you were going to jump off the ledge of sanity and into the abyss of madness? And if so, did they try to talk you out of it?” Skender felt her quick breaths against his body when she finished her questions.

  “I see where he gets it from.” Peri’s voice was cool, almost bored.

  “What?” Tenia bit out. “What does that mean?”

  “I see where your son gets his inability to wait for a response after asking a question,” Peri explained. “It’s taxing.”

  “She doesn’t like it when I do that,” Torion said, sounding as if he enjoyed the revelation a little too much.

  Tenia pointed to her face. “Do I look like I care if you’re taxed?”

  Peri tilted her head slightly and pursed her lips. “No. You look a little, well, crazy. Just being honest.”

  “Fantastic. Honesty. That’s a good place to start.” Tenia motioned with her hand. “Let’s go with that theme. What happened, Peri? You’re a three-thousand-year-old high fae. You can remember every question I just asked, in order, no doubt. So continue being honest and answer the damn questions.”

  “Remind me never to tick you off,” Skender said through their bond without bothering to wonder if it would work. Communicating with his mate was instinctual, and he felt his wolf’s relief that the bond was once again open between them.

  “Who says I’m not ticked off with you already?” she asked. And even though she used the bond, her attention stayed focused on Peri.

  “Fine,” Peri sighed. “Let’s get this over with.”

  * * *

  Tenia held tightly to both Skender's and Torion’s hands and listened to Peri’s account of how she’d come to the compound, intent on destroying it. Mission accomplished. But she hadn’t expected Torion to show up or Tenia to be there. But by then, it was too late for her to stop what was already in motion. Perhaps the biggest surprise of all was the giant dragon appearing amid the chaos to spirit them away.

  “I’ve never been so happy to see one of the massive beasts in my life.” Peri’s eyes and voice filled with relief. “I just wanted you and Torion out of there. And I knew there was no way I could save you.”

  Tenia remembered the way her body had burned, how painful it had been. Skender growled next to her. She looked up at him and saw pain etched across his face. “It’s over now,” she told him, knowing how the memories of her injury affected him.

  “I should have been there with you,” he said softly. His free hand lifted and brushed softly across her face. Tenia leaned into his touch. She’d never known that she could crave someone so much. But she craved Skender like a drug.

  Peri cleared her throat, pulling Tenia from the private moment with Skender, and she turned back to the fae. “So the captured draheim saved us and then what?”

  “I told him where Skender was,” Torion piped up with a grin on his face.

  “We picked him up, and then the draheim brought us here, to his realm,” said Peri.

  “Didn’t you worry he might have been bringing us back as a snack for his family, considering we were part of the group that held him captive?” Tenia asked.

  “I wasn’t really concerned with being eaten,” Peri answered dryly. “I was too busy hoping you weren’t already dead or that Torion might die from his exposure to my power. And once I figured out that you both were alive and staying that way, at least for the moment, I had to decide whether to kill Skender, considering… you know…”

  Tenia narrowed her eyes at the high fae. “No one is killing my mate.”

  “I’m not the one you need to be worried about. I may have changed my mind regarding him, but you need to be prepared for the reaction of those he has wronged. They will not be so understanding.” Peri crossed one leg over the other and leaned forward, resting her elbow on her knee. “You’ve been out of commission for a month, Tenia. I imagine Myanin and Lilly are worried sick. And from what I know of Myanin, it isn’t a stretch to say that she might go on a killing spree just to find out what’s happened to you and Torion.”

  Tenia’s lips twitched at the thought of the female djinn. “You’re not wrong, especially if she hasn’t had any stress-relieving cotton candy.” Then she frowned. “An entire month?” Tenia felt Skender’s lips against her hair, then heard him breathe in her scent. His wolf reached out to her through the bond and shared the comfort she brought him just by being close to her.

  “Do you have any more questions?” Peri asked. “Because I have a feeling you and Skender have much to discuss. I can take the kid out to see Galan.”

  Tenia squeezed Torion’s hand tighter. “Who?”

  “Galan,” Peri answered. “He’s the draheim who saved us. The beast has taken a shine to Torion, probably because, despite his size, Galan is still very young.”

  A grimace passed over Tenia’s face. She and Skender certainly had things that must be addressed, but she didn’t like the idea of her son anywhere but right next to her side.

  Peri seemed to read the apprehension on her face. “I know after what I’ve done, I have no right to ask for your trust, Tenia. But I give you my word. I will protect your son with my life.”

  “Galan is great, Mom. He lets me ride on his back,” Torion pulled his hand from hers and then gave her a hug.

  “He what?” Tenia pulled him closer and squeezed him tighter.

  “Remind me to talk to you about things you should and shouldn’t say to your parents when you’re trying to go do something fun,” Peri said. “Now, come on. Let’s give them some privacy so your mom can properly put her wolf in his place.”

  Tenia snorted and released Torion. “Please don’t fall off.”

  “Mom,” Torion grinned. “I’m a fae. I can just flash to the ground.”

  “The kid is smarter than the adults. We’d all just fall to our deaths like idiots.” Peri held her hand out, and Torion took it.

  He looked back at Tenia, and she had to swallow down the emotions threatening to explode from her gut. Her son was alive. He was alive, unharmed, and free from the Order’s clutches. And he was about to ride on a draheim. What the hell?

  “Quit worrying, Mom,” he told her. “The Great Luna saved us. Oh…” He held up one hand. “Please don’t make Skender leave. I know he messed up, but he belongs with us.”

  “I’ll take that into consideration when making my decision.” She smiled at him. “I love you, Torion. More than anything.”

  “I know. See ya soon.”

  “Don’t you dare fla—” Peri started, but then they were gone.

  “She hates it when he flashes them instead of letting her do it.” Skender’s voice rumbled against Tenia.

  Tenia shifted, trying to gather all the thoughts that had been whirling around in her head while she’d been in her weird coma. At the time, she thought she knew exactly what she would say. But now that Tenia was in his presence, feeling him against her, breathing in his scent, all she could think about was how badly she missed him and how scared she’d been that she would never have this with him.

  “Tenia?” Skender’s voice was tentative.

  She moved, shifting forward and then turning so she faced him. Then Tenia crawled forward and swung a leg over his lap, sitting down on his thighs. Her hands rested on his chest, her fingers flexing and relaxing as she touched him. Her mate. Never in all of her existence would she have thought that she’d be given a mate. Once upon a time, Tenia’s heart had beat for one reason only—Torion. Now, two people were the cause for the rhythm in her chest. No matter what Skender had done, she could feel his remorse. Tenia understood those emotions all too well because they also lived inside of her. Tenia’s inability to protect her child, to keep him from the evil that was the Order, still plagued her.