“I don’t know if I can say any of it out loud, Nick,” she told him honestly. “I’m not trying to keep anything from you. I never want there to be any secrets between us.”

  “I will give you whatever you need, sweetheart,” he said, his warm breath brushing her skin. “If you never want to speak of it, then we won’t.”

  She shook her head. “No. That’s not what I want. I literally mean, I don’t think my mouth can form the words to describe what happened. But”—she moved her hand from his neck until it rested against his cheek and her fingers on his temple—“I can show you. But only if that’s what you really need. I don’t want to make this any harder on you than it has already been.”

  He leaned back enough that he could look into her eyes. “Harder on me?” he asked. “Kara, I wasn’t the one at the mercy of a sociopath. You don’t need to worry about me.”

  “We belong to one another, yeah?” she said, ending her sentence just as he always did, which drew a small smile from him.

  “Yeah,” he agreed.

  “Then we will worry about one another equally. This isn’t about me or you. It’s about us.”

  His eyes jumped back and forth between hers as if searching for anything that might prove her words to be untrue. Then he nodded and bent his head to press a chaste kiss to her lips. Nick slipped an arm under her waist and wrapped the other around the top of her, pulling her close to him. Then he buried his face in her neck. “Show me.” His voice whispered softly into her mind.

  Kara took a deep breath and reminded herself that the ordeal was over. She’d lived through hell. She’d faced the devil and won. Kara opened her mind to the memories that she’d pushed into a box the moment she’d woken up in Nick’s room. They flowed out, beginning with the moment when Alston, Ludcarab, and Cain showed up at the pack compound. She kept her breathing even as the past two months played out like a movie. Kara realized as she showed the scenes to Nick that she was watching the story unfold as if it was happening to someone else. She removed her emotions from the equation and held her mate as he endured all that she went through. She knew the bond between them would let him feel every emotion, just as she had.

  Kara wrapped her arms tightly around him as his body shook. His breathing hitched against her neck, and she felt wetness on her skin, running down her collarbone. Kara felt her own tears welling up as her strong mate broke beneath the weight of her memories. But then, maybe he wasn’t the only one falling apart. Maybe she wasn’t as separated from the memories as she thought, because as he saw the moment she walked into Ludcarab’s bedroom for the last time, Kara, despite having told the elf king that she broke for no one, felt like she was breaking now.

  She remembered the moment the poison took effect and the momentary relief that filled her. Quickly on the heels of that relief had been her vengeance. As soon as she’d felt the dagger in her hand, Kara had turned off any semblance of humanity that might have given him mercy and released every ounce of rage that had built in her since she’d become his captive.

  “I never knew there was so much blood in a person,” she said and then wished she could take the words back.

  Nick lifted one of his hands and ran it down her hair. “Say anything you need to say, my mate. There is nothing you can’t tell me.”

  She swallowed hard and felt her heart squeeze tightly in her chest. She hoped his words were true, because Kara knew once she started talking, she wouldn’t be able to shut up. Maybe that was why she thought she couldn’t describe what happened. Because if she did, the darkest parts of herself would be revealed, parts of her she didn’t even want to acknowledge.

  “It’s okay, Kara.” Nick pulled back. Tears streaked his face. His eyes glowed with his wolf, and she could feel his anger, but it wasn’t directed at her. “Tell me.”

  “When Ludcarab told me the elixir he gave me would restore my ability to conceive… I wanted…” She choked as the tears came harder. “I wanted it to be true.” She tried to push away from him, shame filling her as she felt her skin flush.

  “Don’t,” Nick growled. “Don’t push me away.” He took her chin in his hand and turned her head to look at him. “There is no shame in wanting a child.”

  “I thought you’d get to me before…” She shook her head. “I’m not blaming you. Please don’t think that. But I thought if I drank it and you got to me before he could touch me, then maybe we could…” Kara bit her lip to keep it from trembling. “But then he came for me, and it was too late.”

  * * *

  Nick locked down his emotions tight as his precious mate finally let go of everything she’d been holding inside. He’d been willing to wait as long as it took, but he knew that with all that she’d suffered, she had to get it out. If not with him, then with someone she trusted. He had promised himself that if she chose to share her experience with him, he would not lose control. That wasn’t what Kara needed. She needed his strength, but she also needed to know that he hurt with her.

  “It was too late,” she said again as the gates of grief burst open, and her sobs filled the room that had been so quiet for the past week. She shook and pounded her fist against his chest. At times, she pushed at him, only to then quickly grab him back as if she was scared he would leave her to weep alone. But he wasn’t going anywhere. He would hold her for as long as she needed. He had no answers. She whimpered when there was a momentary reprieve from her uncontrolled emotions, but the respite never lasted long. The flood of tears started again, and the anguish that pulsed through their mate bond robbed him of his breath. Nick wondered if it was possible for a mate to suffocate because of his female’s grief and his inability to do anything to ease it.

  At some point, he heard a knock on the door, but he ignored it as he continued to hold Kara, rocking her gently, attempting to calm her because he feared she would make herself sick. Time passed slowly until the sobs slowed to whimpers and then to soft shudders as she sucked air into her starved lungs. When her body finally stilled and her voice was quiet, Nick pressed a kiss to her head and thanked the Great Luna that Kara had worn herself out and fallen asleep. Maybe there she would find a semblance of peace.

  The room darkened as the sun set outside the windows, and the moon rose high into the night sky. Still, his mate slept. Nick whispered to her. He spoke of promises of the future they would have. He told her how her soul had called to him and had kept him sane for a time. Mostly, he just told her he loved her and that she would never fight alone again.

  “Nick.”

  He startled at the sound of his name and raised his head to see the Great Luna at the foot of their bed.

  “Goddess,” he said, bowing his head as he pulled Kara closer.

  “It is time for you and your Kara Luisa to see the joy that came from tragedy.”

  “Kara Luisa?” he asked, confused by what the goddess called his mate.

  “It means renowned warrior, for that is what she is,” the Great Luna explained as she looked at Kara. “It is time to wake Kara.”

  Nick shifted as his mate moved. She lifted her hand to push her hair from her face, glancing first at him and then turning to look at the goddess.

  “You have been through much,” the Great Luna said. She walked around the bed to Kara. “And you have sacrificed greatly. Are you ready to see the gift of that sacrifice?”

  Kara pushed herself up, so she was sitting, and Nick did the same. He kept an arm around her, tucking her against his side. “I think so,” Kara answered, her voice much calmer than the last time he’d heard it.

  The Great Luna nodded and then looked at Nick. “Focus your wolf's senses and then tell me what you hear.”

  Nick frowned but did as the goddess asked. He pulled on his wolf’s power. His eyesight sharpened in the dark room, his sense of smell picked up even the slightest scent, and his hearing honed in on the tiniest of noise. He kept still and told his wolf to pay attention to the sounds. Nick closed his eyes and slowed his breathing. Then he heard it. A small whooshing sound, fast and strong.

  His eyes snapped open, and he looked at the Great Luna. She nodded and then looked at his mate.

  Nick glanced down at Kara’s stomach, and the sound grew stronger now that he focused on it. He reached over and placed his hand on her.

  “Nick?” Kara asked. She looked from his hand to the Great Luna.

  “This,” the goddess opened her palm and suddenly an image, as real and tangible as he and Kara were, floated just above her hand. It was a womb with a child growing inside. “This is what he hears.” She pointed to the child’s chest, where they could see the flutter of the heart.

  “What?” Kara’s word rushed out in a breath as she rose from the bed. She stepped up to the goddess, directly in front of the image.

  “This is your child, Kara. Yours and Nicks. The child you said you would give up when the sacrifice needed to be made. She did not come into being in the way you expected. But she is not a mistake. Nor is she evil because of the conception that was beyond her control. She, like you and your mate, is my creation. And I have known her since before she was even a single cell. Come closer.”

  * * *

  Kara’s eyes were glued to the small baby, snuggled warmly in the womb held by the Great Luna. She placed her hand on her stomach, where Nick’s had been moments ago.

  “See here.” The Great Luna pointed to the feet. “You can count her tiny toes. And here”—she motioned to the child’s face—“you can see she already has a penchant for sucking her thumb. See her tiny ears that will hear your voice as she grows inside of you. Look at her small legs that will one day carry her across the floor as she runs into her father’s arms. And this”—the Great Luna pointed to the little girl’s neck—“is where her laughter will bubble up out of her as she discovers the world around her, safely protected by her parents. You and your mate.”

  The image faded and Kara reached for it, wanting to hold her, but then Nick was there, turning her to face him. He dropped to his knees and his hands framed her stomach as he pressed his ear against her.

  “You will complete the Blood Rites,” the goddess said. “And your mate’s blood will flow through her veins because of that. She is both of yours. A blessing, a reminder that there is no evil that I cannot turn for good. Your daughter will be a living example for others who suffer as you have suffered. A sign that there is life after death, no matter what kind of death it might be. Love her with the love you never had as a child. Protect her as the precious gift that she is. And know that she means more to me than your finite mind can ever grasp. All of you do.”

  Kara looked down at her mate who was now kissing her stomach and speaking so softly that she couldn’t hear his words. When she looked back up, she saw the goddess was gone, but the warmth she’d brought with her remained.

  Nick stood and rested his hands on either side of her neck. His eyes shone with unshed tears. Kara felt through the bond that these were tears of wonder and radiance. “We have a child,” he whispered.

  Kara nodded, still unable to believe it.

  “I know this isn’t how—” he began, but Kara placed a finger over his mouth.

  “I was the product of such a union, Nick,” she said, sharing something she’d never shared with another soul. “I was born and left to die in an alley. Does that make me any less valuable or special than a child conceived another way?”

  “Absolutely not,” he answered without hesitation.

  She nodded as she felt tears once again run down her cheeks, but these were different from the ones she’d cried earlier. These were tears of gladness, jubilation, elation, and even relief. “We’re going to have a baby,” she said, repeating his words.

  His smile grew, and she knew hers matched his. “Yes, we are. And she will be every bit the renowned warrior that her mother is.”

  “I love you, Nick.” The words slipped out, and she heard the desperation in them. She wasn’t sure what she was desperate for.

  He wiped her tears away with his thumbs and leaned down, his lips a hair’s breadth away. “And I love you.” His lips touched hers, tentatively at first, but as she stood up on her tiptoes to get closer, he drew her in and pressed his mouth more firmly to hers.

  “The Blood Rites,” she said through the bond, realizing what had brought the desperation into her voice.

  “If you’re ready. But nothing more, not yet.”

  Kara leaned back from the kiss and looked into his obsidian eyes. She nodded. “Okay.”

  Nick carefully picked her up and sat on the bed, settling his back against the headboard with her on his lap. He gathered her hair and brushed it around her shoulder, revealing the left side of her neck. She could feel her pulse as he pressed his lips into the bend just below her ear.

  As she felt his mouth open against her flesh and his teeth press in, breaking her skin as he bit, she heard his voice in her mind. “On this day, I hold you close, as your humble servant, to ask if you will make me whole. Will you give yourself to me? Finally calming the beast inside, bringing order to chaos, shining light where there has been only darkness? Will you bind your life to mine, your fate to mine, and your soul to mine and, in doing so, complete the mate bond?”

  Kara would have answered if she could have, but after the quick stab of pain, pleasure had quickly followed. She gripped his head, holding him against her. It was over much too quickly as he released her. Kara’s eyes fluttered open as she felt the warmth of his palm on her face. He turned her to look at him, and the love she saw there took her breath away. “Ready?” he asked, his voice deep and rough with the desire she could feel pulsing through the mate bond.

  Kara nodded and let him guide her head to his neck. Like most of the things that she’d encountered in the supernatural world since being introduced to it, instinct seemed to kick in. Kara felt an overwhelming need to mark him, to bite him and take his essence into her body, which would then flow into their child. She felt Nick tense as she placed her teeth on his flesh and then bit. Warmth permeated her mouth as his blood flowed. Then words flowed into her mind and through the bond. “On this day, I will make you whole as you make me whole. I will give myself to you, calming the beast, bringing order to chaos, and shining light where there has been darkness. I will bind my life to yours, my fate to yours, and my soul to yours and complete our mate bond. I will take you for my own, forsaking all others.”

  * * *

  Nick let her linger a little longer than necessary as she drank his blood, enjoying the feel of how their souls joined and how complete he felt with her against him. But then he knew it was enough. She would carry his scent, as would his child that grew safe and warm inside of her. “It’s enough, sweetheart,” he told her and smiled as he felt her disappointment.

  When she sat up and looked at him, all the pain he’d seen earlier was gone. In its place was trust, love, and hope. “It’s done?”

  He grinned as he ran a finger over the fresh bite mark on her skin, his mark. “Almost.”

  Kara blushed as she let out a small laugh. “Almost,” she agreed.

  Nick knew that despite the overwhelming joy they both felt now, there would still be times when the past might haunt them. But it would not win. It would not rule their lives or dictate their future. Nothing can dim the light love sheds. He pressed his hand to his mate’s stomach and felt love like he’d never experienced before.

  “I am yours,” he told her. “And you are both mine. I will love both of my females until my dying breath.”

  “And even after,” she said into the quiet room.

  “Yes, my Kara, even after.”

  Epilogue

  “We don’t know what tomorrow holds. We might not even wake up and see another day. So we have to be thankful for every second we draw breath. We have to rejoice in even the smallest of victories. We may shed tears. We may suffer hurts that threaten to rip us in two, but that’s when we hold tight to the ones we love and give thanks we have someone to bear our burdens with us. We have each been given a purpose in this life, and we will help each other stay on our path. That is friendship, that is family, and that is pack. Don’t be like me and learn that lesson the hard way.” ~Peri

  * * *

  Peri stood with Lucian in the large room given by Andora to the Romanian pack to use as a home base. Lucian stood beside her, his arm around her waist. For the first time in months, she felt whole. She knew they had a long way to go. The road to healing and forgiveness between Peri and her mate would not be easy. And the healing she must do with the others would take time. But she was finally back where she belonged, and that was a start.

  “All will be well, beloved. The beauty of choosing to love is that people are also willing to choose to forgive.”

  She laid her head on his shoulder and nodded against him. Words were too hard to speak at the moment.

  “I’m not going to lie…” Jen said. Apparently, words were not too hard for her. Ever.

  “I’m going to call BS on that before you even finish that sentence,” Jacque said from where she sat on Fane’s lap. The alpha held his mate close to him, while his other hand rested on the back of his son, who slept on a blanket on the couch beside them.

  “Nobody asked you,” Jen said and then continued before Jacque could respond. “I miss these little powwows being at home in Vasile’s office.”

  “Agreed,” Jacque said. And Peri silently agreed as well.

  Jen snorted. “I thought you called BS.”

  “I spoke too soon. But to be fair, there was at least a seventy-five percent chance BS was about to fly out of your mouth.”