Sitting back on the bed, I pick up my phone. “Oh my god you guys, the wrapping paper!”

  “Right?” Riley says. “I found this website that does custom wrapping paper, so I did your favorite snacks. I designed some for dad too with footballs, candles, and waffles, for Lola with boxing gloves since she’s a kickboxing maniac, and for Ethan with hockey stuff. Every wrapping paper that isn’t custom is officially the worst.”

  That she made some for me makes me ridiculously happy, and I can’t wipe the smile off my face. “Well, I think it’s entirely perfect.”

  “Open it!” Ethan says.

  “Yeah, Wildcat, open it.” Cam’s face comes back into view, and with all three of them on the screen together, triplet smiles on their faces, my heart practically takes flight.

  Looking down to try to get my emotions in check, I slide my finger under the taped edge of the box, trying to take the wrapping paper off without ripping it too much, already knowing I’ll be keeping it. I lift the top of the box, setting it aside and lifting the tissue paper to reveal a Renegades jersey. Pulling it out of the box, my breath catches when I see “Lowry” emblazoned above number sixty-eight.

  It’s a jersey that’s sold in a million stores in this city. A jersey owned by thousands of Renegades fans. But the way my heart gallops in my chest, emotion washing through me as I trace my fingers over the fabric, staring down at Cam’s name and number, you would think they just gave me something precious. Something one of a kind.

  Except I think maybe they did.

  “Do you like it?” Ethan asks, and I look back up at the screen, at my three favorite faces lined up in a row.

  Something precious.

  “I love it,” I say, not entirely trusting my voice.

  “It was my idea,” he says, his face turning serious. “Riley and I have my dad’s jersey, and I thought you needed to have one too. So you could match us and we could all match Dad. Like a family.”

  My gaze lands on Cam, and I can see the emotion swirling in his eyes. The intensity on his face. And I can hear the words like he spoke them out loud.

  Be my family, Wildcat. Be ours.

  I give him a small nod, and the grin that stretches across his face is so beautiful it’s almost hard to look at. “I would love to match with you guys. I think I’ll look great in a Lowry jersey.”

  “No one looks good in a football jersey, but it makes Dad happy, and he’s weird about his superstitions, so we do it anyway.”

  I laugh at Riley’s flippant tone, and then I laugh harder when Cam ruffles her hair like she’s a toddler and she shoves him away, giving him a look that would kill a lesser man.

  “I miss you guys,” I say, lying down on my stomach and holding the phone out in front of me. “Can we do another blanket fort breakfast when you all get back?”

  Riley nods. “Definitely yes. I think next time maybe we need to add cereal to our waffle bar. I’m thinking of a Cinnamon Toast Crunch, caramel syrup, whipped cream situation that will put every other waffle to shame.”

  I grin at her. “See, that’s why you’re a smart girl now.”

  She gives me a sly grin. “I think the term you’re looking for is smart bitch.” She enunciates the bitch and Cam groans, taking the phone from her hand. “Language, Ry. There are a lot of people here who don’t appreciate a well-placed swear word like we do. Try and pretend I did at least a passable job parenting you and go see if Lola needs help setting the table.”

  “Ugh, fine,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Bye, Maddy, Merry Christmas!”

  “Merry Christmas,” Ethan says with a grin before darting away.

  Once we’re alone, Cam drops back into a chair, holding the phone closer to his face. “Hi. You’re so pretty. The prettiest girl in the world.”

  I grin at him. “You just want to see my tits.”

  He groans. “Fuck, I would love to see your tits, but I’m currently sitting in the guest bedroom of my aunt’s house with my mom’s entire family downstairs, so I think nudity is…ill advised.”

  “Rain check.”

  His eyes swirl with heat as his gaze bores into mine. “Definitely rain check.” Then his face goes serious and a little…uncertain maybe? “The jersey,” he starts. “Was it too much? It was Ethan’s idea, and he was so excited about it, but I didn’t realize why he wanted to give it to you and I should have. I have two kids and that’s a whole thing, and I really like you but I don’t want you to think I’m looking for, like, a new mom for them or whatever. It’s just that…I mean…I don’t…fuck,” he mutters, scrubbing his free hand over his face.

  I giggle, delighted and charmed by him and his ramblings. “I love the jersey. I love that Ethan wanted to give it to me because he wants us all to match when you play. I love that you all called me together, and that Riley and Ethan wanted to talk to me. They’re amazing kids, Cameron, and you’re an incredible dad. I’m crazy about all three of you.”

  “Crazy about us, huh?” Cam says, his lips tipping up in that smile I love, dimple winking in his cheek that makes me a little weak in the knees.

  I nod. “Definitely crazy about you.”

  The small smile turns a little devious. “Crazy enough to be wearing my jersey and only my jersey next time I see you?”

  “Don’t tell me you’re one of those athletes who goes feral over a girl wearing his jersey.”

  “Not a girl. You. I’ll go feral over you wearing my jersey. My girl. My name. My jersey.”

  “Well, fuck,” I mutter, squeezing my legs together to try to quell the ache between them. “Are you sure nudity is entirely off the table right now?”

  Cam laughs. “The second I’m home, I’m taking you on a date.”

  I gasp, pressing a hand to my chest. “The long-awaited first date?” Between both of our schedules and his kids and waves hands everywhere, almost all of our time together has been spent either at the practice facility, the stadium, or at one of our houses.

  “Bet your ass. And there will absolutely be nudity.”

  I grin at him through the phone. “I can’t wait. I miss you.”

  Cam looks at me for a long moment. “Wildcat, you have absolutely no idea.”

  I think I do because even though I love my annual Pittsburgh Christmas, I know that tonight, while I’m celebrating, my heart will be in St. Louis with the three people who now own its biggest piece.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  CAM

  “Cameron Lowry, at my front door? What an excellent fucking night.” Maddy grins at me from her open door as I jog up the steps to her porch. Her hair is fire in the moonlight, and she’s wearing tight black leggings and a green sweater that makes her eyes glow. I can’t get to her fast enough, taking the steps two at a time.

  “Get the fuck over here,” I practically growl as I hit the top step, opening my arms. She throws herself at me with a laugh. I wrap my arms tightly around her, breathing in the scent of her hair, closing my eyes against the onslaught of emotion I feel at the way her body fits so perfectly against mine. The early January air is freezing, and the wind bites at my skin, but I don’t feel anything except the warmth of her in my arms and the click of my soul settling right back into place now that I’m back where I belong. With her. “I fucking missed you,” I murmur, kissing the top of her head.

  “I missed you, too.” Maddy pulls back and lifts up on her toes, tugging my head down until our lips meet. Our warm breaths mingle as our mouths move together. As she sucks my lower lip into her mouth and runs her tongue over it, making me groan. As I tip her head back to deepen the kiss, licking into her mouth like it’s the only place I want to be.

  Because it is.

  Because of the two away games in a row and my St. Louis Christmas, it’s been eight days since I last saw her. Eight days that felt like a fucking eternity.

  “You’re so pretty.” I run the back of my hand down her cheek, grazing her freckles with my thumb. “I could look at you forever.”

  Her face floods with color that has nothing to do with the cold and she smiles, wrapping her arms more tightly around my waist and tipping her head back so she’s looking at me. “Talk about pretty, Jesus. Video calls just do not do you justice. I think maybe you got hotter while you were away.”

  Laughing, I lean in and press a kiss to her forehead, lingering there. It’s only when she shivers that I realize we’re still standing on the porch, and she’s not wearing a jacket. “Shit, we should go inside. Wait.” I check my watch. “Not inside. My car. We’ve got somewhere to be.”

  “Do we?” she asks with a grin. Her face lights up the night, her eyes dancing with excitement, and I’m in so deep that looking at her makes every thought fall straight out of my head.

  “We do.” I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, skimming my fingers lightly over her jaw. “I promised you a date, and I always keep my promises.”

  Maddy leans into her front door and grabs a coat and bag from the coat rack and then takes a big gift bag off the floor. I take all three from her, setting the bags on the porch and holding out the coat so she can slip her arms into the sleeves. I pull the coat up onto her shoulders then lift her hair out of the collar and turn her around, bending a little to take care of the zipper.

  “Where are we going?” she asks as I pick up the bags from the ground and take her hand, lacing our fingers together. I get a rush of warmth when she looks down at our joined hands and back up at me with a grin.

  I wink at her. “Surprise, but you’ll love it. I promise.”

  “I think I already do.”

  “The drive-in?” she asks, voice full of excitement. When I turn to her, her eyes are wide and her smile is huge. “I didn’t even know this was open in the winter.”

  “It’s not,” I say with a smile, driving onto the property, bypassing the ticket booth and heading straight for the big, open field with the massive screen soaring up in the distance.

  “Then how…” Her voice trails off, and I see the second she realizes we’re the only car in the field. That the ticket booth is empty and all the concession stands and outer buildings are dark and quiet, dusted with a thin layer of snow. She turns back to me, tilting her head in contemplation. “Did you bring me here to kill me? Is this one of those things where I’ll disappear, hacked up and buried in twelve different locations, and all the neighbors will say things like, I can’t even believe he did this; he was always such a nice, unassuming gentleman?”

  I shift the car into park and unclick Maddy’s seatbelt and then my own. Turning to face her, I take her hand and bring it to my mouth to kiss her knuckles. “Been listening to more of those true crime podcasts lately, Wildcat?”

  She shrugs. “Sophie’s aunt Amelia was here for a few days between Christmas and New Year’s with her family. She’s obsessed with true crime and got me hooked on this one that’s all about husbands who kill their wives. I binged the whole thing in two days, so it’s possible I have murder on the brain.”

  I laugh, running my thumb over the soft skin on the back of her hand, settling into the feel of her next to me, us being together. Just the way it’s supposed to be. “If one day I’m ever lucky enough to be your husband, I solemnly swear never, ever to kill you. I like you far too much for that.”

  I mean for the husband thing to be a joke. Sort of. But she’s silent for a beat, studying me. My heart pounds, waiting for her response that suddenly seems like the most important thing she’ll ever say. “You would want that? To get married again?”

  I pause, weighing my words carefully. “I got married young. Really young. People thought we were crazy, and then even crazier when we had Riley so quickly. But…” I smile, letting my mind drift back to those wild, early days. “It was good. It was so, so good, and then Lainey was gone and I was raising kids on my own, and I honestly never thought about getting married again.”

  “You said thought, like past tense. What changed?”

  Smiling, I lay a hand on her cheek, stroking my thumb along her bottom lip. “I met a gorgeous redhead in a bar, and she made me think about all kinds of things I hadn’t considered in years. Things I thought were in my past. Except maybe they aren’t because when I look at you, all I see is the future. Our future. The way you fit with me, with my kids? Seeing you with them?” I pause, shaking my head and trying to clear the emotion that tightens my throat. “It healed a piece of me that I didn’t realize was still broken. I want it all. You and me and my kids. Your family and mine. Ours.”

  Maddy takes my hand, squeezing lightly. “Is a bigger family something you would want? Losing Lainey the way you did, it can’t be easy to think about having more kids.” She speaks slowly, like she’s considering every word. “Sorry.” She shakes her head. “You don’t have to answer if that’s too much. Too personal, I mean.”

  I lean over the center console and kiss her, even as I’m gripped by a swell of emotion that she would understand me enough to ask the question. “There’s no such thing as too much or too personal. I want you to know me. All of me.” Sitting back, I keep my hand tangled with hers. “I wish I could tell you that the idea of having more kids doesn’t scare me to death. That I’m not terrified of losing someone else the way I lost Lainey.” I look away, swallowing hard, but Maddy cups my cheek with her free hand, turning me back to face her. When we lock eyes, the understanding in hers gives me the courage to keep going. “But I think…” I trail off, trying to order my chaotic thoughts. “I think I would want to work through that, if it was with you.” I turn my head and press a kiss to the inside of her palm. “With you, I want it all, and I think maybe I don’t have to be so scared.”

  When Maddy lifts our joined hands and presses a soft kiss to the back of mine, my heart stutters. And when she looks at me, green eyes blazing with emotion and says, “I think I want it all with you too,” my breath backs up in my lungs and my eyes burn as my brain serves me a montage of images of what, exactly, it all could look like between the two of us. Even through the fear, I want it. Her. All. Everything.

  “So do you want to tell me what we’re doing here at this creepy, abandoned drive-in in the middle of the winter?”

  I chuckle, squeezing her thigh, as I push my deep thoughts away to examine later because we have time. Forever, I hope. “You love drive-ins.”

  She narrows her eyes at me. “How do you know that?”

  “You told me, the first night we were together. You said one of your most vivid memories as a kid was going to the drive-in with your family in the summer. That your parents would put all the seats in the car down and you would watch the movie from the trunk with blankets and pillows and snacks.”

  “You remember that?” she asks a little incredulously. “We had that conversation almost six months ago when you didn’t even know my name.”

  I smile, covering our joined hands with my free one. “I remember everything about you.”

  Maddy’s hand tightens around mine as she shakes her head. “Fuck, Cameron, you’re like a man written by a woman. How are you even real?”

  I glide my thumb along her palm and grin when she shivers. “I told you I was crazy about you. I meant it. I have been since that very first night, even when I didn’t know your name.”

  “Shit,” she mutters. “Okay, subject change before I maul you in the middle of this abandoned field.”

  “I would be fine with that. These seats go back pretty far, and no one is around.” Well, almost no one, but I don’t tell her that yet. I give her a wink and love the way she immediately flushes.

  “Hot car sex later,” she says. “Explain this first.” She waves a hand around.

  I shift in my seat, my cock immediately hard at the words car sex because, Jesus. I don’t think I’ve had car sex in like fifteen years, and now it’s suddenly all I can think about, but I force myself to focus because I am a grown adult who is not ruled by his dick. Or, at least, I can try to be. No promises on my chances of success. “Drew owns this place.”

  Maddy laughs, glancing out the car window. “No fucking way.”

  “Absolutely fucking way. He owns, or has a stake in, all kinds of different things. Some of them make absolutely no sense at all, but he has this weirdly astute business acumen and a sixth sense for where to invest. Anyway, I don’t know, like, half of what he owns because it’s too many things to keep track of, but one of them is this place. I asked him to open it up for us tonight.”

  Maddy’s face lights up. “Like, to watch a movie? In the car, in the middle of the winter?”

  “You bet. We can’t open the trunk because, well, winter, but I figured the back seat would work just fine.”

  She squeals, clapping her hands together. “This is, like, the best date ever. What are we watching?”

  I grin at her. “Nora Ephron movie marathon. We’re starting with You’ve Got Mail and When Harry Met Sally, and if we’re feeling ambitious, a little Sleepless in Seattle to end the night. A perfect New York City rom-com trifecta.”

  “Stop it!” she says with a laugh. “Tyler is going to be so jealous.”

  “I know. Be sure to tell him all about it. Jealous Tyler is one of my favorite things.”

  Maddy’s face shutters for a second before she looks away. It’s so fast I would have missed it if I were looking anywhere but at her, but when she’s around, she’s all I see, so I didn’t miss it, and I realize immediately what I said. Taking her other hand, I wait until she’s looking back at me. “It’s okay,” I say quietly. “It’s okay not to want to tell him yet. Or anyone else.”

  She shakes her head. “It’s not okay. I want everyone to know. I don’t want to hide this. I mean, not that we’re doing a very good job hiding anyway. Our circle is getting pretty big. But playoffs start next week, and everyone needs to focus. Once they’re over, we’ll figure out how to tell everyone else.”