“So, you watched the game, I take it.” A smile plays on my lips at the thought of her watching me play tonight.

  “Of course I watched your game,” she says, lightly smacking me on my chest. “I told you I never miss one.”

  “Morris got one hit in…a cheap one at that,” I chuckle. “I’m fine. I promise.”

  She sits up and straddles me, and I one hundred percent approve of the view.

  “You’re naked,” I grin, reaching out to lightly brush my hand over her breasts. Her nipples immediately harden as my dick follows suit, swelling between our bodies.

  “You could have been hurt,” she scolds, ignoring my attempt to change the subject.

  “But I’m not. In fact, I’m feeling pretty amazing right now.” My hands grab her waist as I slide her pussy over my swollen cock, coating it with her arousal. Her eyes flutter briefly as her head falls back, exposing that glorious neck to me as she forgets all about her worry with my distraction.

  “I missed this…missed you,” she moans as I reach down and rub her swollen clit with my thumb.

  “I missed you too,” I admit quietly, giving her the truth.

  “I…I want you inside me, Knox.” The desperation in her voice sends a thrill through my body as she frantically lifts up on her knees before centering me and sliding down in a painfully slow motion.

  “God, I missed this pussy too,” I groan when I’m settled deep inside her. She starts to move, and I lose all coherent thoughts as my dick slides against her tight, slick walls, putting me in such a tight vise that I’m certain I’ll feel her imprint tomorrow and every day after.

  It’s becoming easier and easier to get lost in her in moments like this together. She’s slowly taking pieces of me I’ve never given to another, and I’m helpless to stop it, slowly becoming at the mercy of this angel above me.

  TWENTY-ONE

  SAVI

  My fingernails rake down his chest as I take him deep again. I love seeing his eyes on me with such an unbridled passion, only spurring on my desire to make him come undone for me.

  I’ve never had this much control with him before, and I find myself wanting to explore just how much my body can take from him.

  Lifting up on my knees, I ride him harder as his fingers dig into my waist, guiding me even more onto him.

  “Just like that, sunshine,” he growls, and that sound alone turns me on even more. “Go as hard as that sweet pussy of yours can take. I want you to fuck me until you can’t anymore.”

  My breasts bounce with each movement, and his eyes darken as he watches me. His hands leave my waist, wandering up my stomach toward my chest. He squeezes my breasts hard before pinching my nipples, sending an electric current straight between my legs.

  “Knox,” I moan, closing my eyes and arching back to give him better access to all of me.

  “I love hearing you say my name when I’m deep inside you,” he says, his voice low and full of authority as his hands leave my breast and venture to my neck.

  His palms cover my throat as he grabs the back of my neck, interlacing his fingers. My movements slow down as I savor the feel of him and enjoy the feeling of his hands, adding a whole other level of forbidden pressure.

  “So fucking beautiful,” he murmurs. Squeezing my neck with just the right amount of control that causes my body to bend to his every will. To give someone this much trust over me is a high unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. It’s a complete surrender, but also a feeling of being powerful all at the same time.

  “You like that, sunshine? To feel my hands possessively claim what is mine?” He asks, running his thumb over my bottom lip before dipping it inside. My mouth closes around his finger as I suck it hard. His head falls back on the pillow as his neck strains upwards in pure bliss, as I feel my walls squeeze him harder.

  “More,” I moan, wanting to feel his hands stronger on me. I love hearing him say I’m his, even if it is just in this moment. His hands tighten, leaving me just enough room for air to squeeze by. My thighs grip him harder as I dig my fingernails into the sides of his waist, and take him as deep as I possibly can.

  “Jesus,” he growls, “you are going to wreck me.”

  Keeping one hand securely around my throat, his other goes to where we are joined as he rubs my clit hard with his thumb.

  “You’re going to cum for me, sunshine, when I tell you to. Not a second before,” he demands quietly.

  I hold back the urge that’s building up inside me. Biting my lip, I focus on the sting it brings as I reel my body back from the edge. When I feel myself in control again, I nod, letting him know I’m listening.

  “Good girl,” he murmurs, lessening the pressure of his hands on me as my body waits in a heightened state of arousal for his permission. I’m beginning to think he has an edging kink, and I fully intend to be in charge next time to see just how far I can take him.

  His hands possess me again as the pressure increases. My body eagerly laps it up as I lift my hips again, taking him faster.

  His eyes never leave me, and I know he’s studying every sign and signal that tells him I’m close. It’s erotic and torturous all at the same time as I get close to the edge again, only for him to back off.

  “Please,” I whimper. “I need to cum, Knox,” I moan, moving slowly above him, willing to do anything to feel relief from this unsated ache.

  “You begging me may just be my new favorite thing in this world to hear,” he grins wickedly. “More sunshine, and I just might give you what you want.”

  “I hate you,” I mumble, causing him to chuckle.

  “I already tried to get you to do that to make it easier on me. It didn’t work.”

  “It’s working now,” I mutter, trying to move against his hand, but he locks me in place.

  “Too late. I’m already balls deep in this sweet pussy. Not even hating me could keep me away now that I know what you feel like.”

  His thumb circles my swollen bud, and another whimper escapes.

  “Beg for me to make this pussy cum,” he says again in a low voice.

  My hands find my breasts, and I squeeze them hard, trying to bring as much pleasure to myself as he does, but it’s useless. I want him and only him.

  “Please, Knox,” I breathe, putting his hands on my chest. “Make me cum all over you.” My breasts fill his palms as he rolls my nipples between his fingers. “Yes,” I moan, throwing my head back and sinking into his touch as he adds fuel to the fire he’s already lit inside. “Please don’t stop,” I pant.

  “I was never going to,” he rasps out, as his hands dig into my flesh, bringing me down hard onto him.

  “Oh, God…yes,” I cry as he hits areas inside me that build up the perfect storm. When he pinches my clit hard, a thousand sensations shoot through me, and a deep pull from my core has me closing my eyes in surrender to the feelings he’s pulling from me.

  “Now,” he demands, pushing me over the edge as my body lets go for him as the storm hits me straight on.

  I cry out his name as my walls greedily hold him in a tight, pulsing rhythm that has me seeing stars against the blinding onslaught of my orgasm.

  His fingers grip me tightly, sure to leave their mark as a reminder of him barely holding on as he watches me surrender to the gift he’s given me.

  When I finally collapse on top of him, he quickly flips us over as he pulls out and thrusts onto my stomach, covering me in his warm release.

  “Savi…,” he groans, pulsing against my belly. His chest is heaving and broken out in a sweat as his body accepts my gift as well. Darkened blues focus on me as he looks at me lying there covered in his cum. His finger swipes through it, painting my breasts and neck before coating my bottom lip.

  I swipe my tongue across it, and his salty taste that I know by heart now hits my taste buds. His eyes flash with something so primal and raw that I would sell my soul to see it again.

  “For the record, I never once hated you,” I whisper, feeling my love for him so strong that I can’t hold it back from seeping through.

  “I know,” he swallows. “Even when you were angry at something I did to push you away, I never felt anything but the one thing that scares the hell out of me to have.”

  “I’m scared too,” I admit quietly.

  “You should be scared of me.” He starts to move off of me, and I stop him.

  “I’m not scared of you.” I search his eyes and see how badly he’s struggling with what he’s feeling. “I’m scared you are going to quit on us before you even try. I’m scared…” I swallow down the lump in my throat and pray this won’t make him run. “I’m scared of how much I love you and that it won’t be enough to break down your walls. I’m scared I’ll never get you to believe how much you deserve the love I want to give you,” I whisper, praying I can get through to him.

  “Savi…don’t,” he breathes out painfully. The look in his eyes has me blinking back tears. “You shouldn’t waste your love on someone who doesn’t even know anymore if he’s capable of loving back.”

  He gets up and walks to the bathroom before bringing a towel back with him.

  “Here,” he says softly, handing it to me.

  I quickly clean my chest before sitting up and watching him pull his boxer briefs back on.

  “So that’s it?” I ask, feeling myself start to break. “You’re just going to walk away then and not even try?”

  He’s quiet as he grabs the rest of his clothes off the floor.

  “Knox, look at me. If you are going to walk away from me…from us, then at least have the fucking balls to look me in the eye when you do it,” I choke out, feeling the anger and sadness suffocate me.

  He stops and finally lifts his eyes to mine, and I wish that he hadn’t. Gone are all the emotions he’s been letting me see for the past few weeks, and instead, his eyes are stone cold as his walls slam back up, leaving me shivering alone on the outside once again.

  “This would have been a whole hell of a lot easier if you would have just hated me,” he says quietly, walking to the door.

  “Don’t worry. You’re finally going to get what you’ve always wanted.” I snap out, hoping like hell this anger I’m feeling will overshadow the pain that wants to drown me.

  He stops at my words and grips the doorframe as his head bows in defeat. His back is to me, hiding what he’s feeling from me.

  “You’re a coward, Stone,” I say, not being able to stop the angry words from flowing to mask the pain I’m feeling. “You get out on that ice and fight every damn day for your team…you fought for me when I didn’t have the strength,” I say, stifling back a sob because I know if I start crying, I’ll never stop, “but when it comes to fighting for yourself, you’re a fucking coward. You just give up because it’s easier than letting yourself feel.”

  His hand curls around the door frame tighter, and every part of me wants to see him turn around and fight for himself…fight for us.

  But he doesn’t.

  He pries his fingers off the door and walks away. I hear a zipper being torn open in the other room before I hear him rummaging through his bag.

  I fist the sheets tight to my chest and resist the urge to run to him and make him see the truth…make him see how wrong he is to walk away.

  But I don’t.

  Instead, I listen to his car roar to life and the silence that follows as only the ghost of him remains behind.

  The scent of him still branded on my skin.

  The touch of him still seared into my memory.

  He’s right about one thing.

  He did ruin me just like he said he would.

  He’s taken hold of my heart, and something tells me I’ll never get it back.

  TWENTY-TWO

  KNOX

  I grip the steering wheel so hard, my knuckles ache from the pressure. I feel panic rise in my chest, and I curl my fingers around my t-shirt by my heart.

  She’s right.

  I am a coward.

  The moment I heard the word love come out of her mouth, I fucking panicked. It’s not that I haven’t felt it before from her, but saying it out loud makes it real. It’s not something I can imagine away or pretend I didn’t hear it.

  I keep driving further away as if I’ll somehow outrun the demons that want to drag me under again. The houses become a blur as I open up the car, trying to further drown out my thoughts with the engine’s roar.

  Without any direction in mind, I finally realize where I was led to as I pull into the driveway and shut off my engine. The small two-bedroom home stares back at me as I peer through the windshield.

  How can one house hold so many memories? This is where I first felt love, and this is where a part of me died. Getting out of the car, I walk up the two wooden steps leading up to the front porch.

  After my mom passed, my dad eventually had to sell this house. The medical bills were piling up, and his drinking had gotten so much worse that he couldn’t keep up with everything. I don’t know why, but I bought the house last year when it came up on the market.

  Until now, I haven’t set foot in this house since that day I was pulled from the only home I ever felt love in.

  Putting my key in the lock, I walk in and flip a light switch as I shut the front door behind me.

  It’s been updated since I lived here, but I can still picture the faded blue couch and his leather recliner in the corner as I take in the small living room.

  The kitchen has new appliances and countertops, but otherwise it still feels the same. I can almost smell my mom’s chocolate chip cookies and remember how she would always let me sneak one before dinner while they were still warm from the oven.

  Walking over to the pantry door, I open it and run my hand over the white paint where she would mark my height each year, forever staying at eight years old.

  Moving slowly with heavy feet, I go to the small hallway where my bedroom once was. The wood floors are still the same throughout the house, but you can tell they’ve been sanded and re-stained a darker color.

  Opening the door, I step inside.

  God, it feels like lifetimes ago, but at the same time, I remember it all like it was yesterday.

  My mom tucking me into bed each night and reading me stories until I couldn’t fight sleep anymore.

  The day she brought home my team jersey and skates for my first game. How she would tell me over and over again how much she loved me and how proud she was of her favorite little boy.

  Walking to the closet, I reach out and hesitate briefly before turning the knob and opening the door. Pulling the string hanging down from the ceiling, the light comes on, and I crouch down by the far corner. Faint lines etch the wall as I trace them with my fingers and sink to the floor.

  Memories flood my mind, replacing all the good with the bad. If I stayed in here, tucked away, he would almost forget about me.

  I stole a small pocketknife from the drawer one day and decided to make a tally mark for every time I hid in here until he passed out. Even then, I would find myself dragging a pillow and blanket in here, feeling safer in this closet than I did in my own bed.

  I stare at all the faint marks that not even a coat of paint could cover up. There’s more than any one person would want to count. Squeezing my eyes shut, I try to block out all the ugly noise that wants to come through.

  I sit there for what feels like hours before getting up and knowing what I have to do.

  Opening the back door, I step out into the small backyard. The chain-link fence that once secured the grassy area is now replaced with a white vinyl fence, giving me privacy as I walk to the big mossy oak sitting in the corner.

  It was the place where mom and I had countless picnics under this tree, and it’s the place where I left a part of her there. My dad honored my mom’s wishes to be cremated, but refused to part with her ashes or spread them anywhere. I was only nine when I decided she needed better. I knew my mom wouldn’t want to live in a box in the back of Dad’s closet year after year.

  I waited until he passed out one night and was snoring loudly on the couch before grabbing a kitchen chair and getting my mom’s ashes down. Switching them out, I put ashes from our old charcoal grill in its place and placed them back in his closet.

  Taking the real ones with me, I sprinkled some under this tree so I would have a place to be close to her, and the rest I set her free in the ocean. She always loved the water, and every time I’m around or in the ocean, I like to believe she’s there with me.

  Standing under the tree, I shove my hands in my pockets and look at the heart still engraved into the tree, marking the spot where I gave her back to the earth.

  “I don’t know what you want me to do here, Mom,” I say quietly. “I stayed and looked after Dad just like I promised you I would, but I can’t do it anymore. It’s keeping me chained and locked in this dark hell that I’m so tired of being in.”

  I glance up at the tall branches and watch the hanging moss sway in the wind as the words I’ve held back for years start to pour out.

  “I know you would have never made me promise if you had known what he would turn into after you died. I want you to know that I don’t blame you. I stayed because I felt responsible, and I think a part of me stayed because he was my last link to you.”

  Savi’s words play in my mind, and I let in the pain this time instead of shoving it down.

  “God, I miss you, Mom,” I whisper hoarsely. “I’m so fucking sorry for everything.”

  I don’t hold the tears in as they stream down my face. Years of guilt and pain come through until I have nothing left in me to give.

  Wiping my eyes, I turn and walk away, knowing this will be the last time I ever set foot in this house again. It’s time to start letting the past go if I have any chance of a future.

  “Fuck!” I yell, throwing my gloves to the floor and whipping off my helmet. It’s our third game in a row we’ve lost, and we can’t seem to get our shit together.

  “Stone, get your ass over here,” Coach yells from across the locker room. Cayden gives me a sympathetic look as I walk by and head straight over to where Coach is standing.