I absently rub my hand over my heart and take in a jagged breath to force some air into my tight lungs. It’s the one place I dedicated on my body to remind myself that there is still beauty in this world. My black t-shirt stretches over the dark ink underneath, and just knowing it’s there brings me the comfort I need to ease the pressure forming in my chest.

  I finally head out of town and continue along the coastal road. Houses replace businesses the further I drive away from the busy part of Blue Haven. Growing up here, I was always in awe of these homes.

  I couldn’t imagine waking up every morning and being able to see the ocean from my bedroom window. It was something unimaginable to my young self that people actually lived like this.

  It was the same when I would visit Miles’s house. Back then, he lived further inland in one of the small beach neighborhoods that are spread throughout the town. His home always seemed so huge compared to the shitty trailer I lived in with my dad.

  Even though the Montgomerys treated me like one of their own, I never felt like I belonged in their world. I was terrified I would somehow taint this perfect family that I had come to love. I was the kid in the trailer park that nobody wanted…who would fake just how bad life was at home because I didn’t feel I deserved anything better. Nobody back then knew the monster I was living with, but I stayed.

  I stayed because I promised her I would, and even then, I would have stayed because of the guilt that ate me alive with every breath I took.

  I couldn’t save my mom, but I could at least do this one thing since she sacrificed her life for me.

  Slowing down, I approach the blue beach house at the end. The sun set over an hour ago, but you can still see the faint hues of pink lingering in the sky before darkness finally takes over. Even though there isn’t enough light to see the water, I can feel its presence.

  The ocean has always fascinated me. It can go from being the most beautiful, majestic beauty to the most dangerous destruction you’ve ever seen in a matter of seconds. Calming you with its presence on days the sun is shining bright or fueling any turmoil within on days the sky turns dark.

  The vast blue water has always been the one place I seek when I feel like I’m drowning. It’s a reminder to me that even the most beautiful things on Earth have a darkness to them, but it still doesn’t stop people from seeing the beauty that also lies inside. Sometimes, you just have to search harder because it’s buried so deep that you forget it’s even there until someone briefly shines a light on it.

  Turning the wheel, I ease into the driveway and shut off the engine. I don’t see any main lights on, so I can’t tell if Savi is home or not.

  Taking a deep breath, I grab my duffel bag from the front seat next to me and pull my six-foot-four frame from the car. My grey sweats hang low on my hips as I hoist the heavy bag over my shoulder.

  I came straight from a late-night gym workout and had packed up all my belongings earlier when I checked out of the hotel. The rest of my things from my New York apartment are scheduled to be delivered tomorrow.

  Deciding to keep the peace a little bit longer, I walk to the side gate instead of choosing the front door. It will give me some time to unpack and think about the best way to approach this.

  I take the stone path on the side of the house and stop when I see the bamboo structure. Peering inside, I notice it’s an outdoor shower. The side of the house has been covered with smooth stone, and with the giant showerhead hanging directly down in the center, it gives you the illusion of being under a waterfall.

  The brothers must have installed this after they moved in because it wasn’t here when I first toured it with them. I spot the pink containers on a small wooden table and notice the water droplets still clinging to them.

  Savi must have been in here a few minutes ago.

  Hesitating briefly, I step inside and lift the bottle to my nose. Vanilla and coconut fill my senses, and I squeeze my eyes shut at the onslaught of emotions. Dark, silky hair and Pacific blue eyes flood my head with images. My body reacts with a ferocious need as her scent surrounds me.

  I’ve always had this protectiveness toward Savi since the day I met her when she came bounding into the garage one day, when Miles was showing me his drum set. I was thirteen at the time, and life had already jaded me. I remember wondering how such a small person could hold so much light inside them. I could feel her infectious energy just pouring off of her, and I wanted to soak it up as much as I could in case I never got the chance to feel it again.

  Her black hair was bouncing high in a ponytail, and her eyes shone so bright I was afraid to make contact for fear I would dim them somehow. She was carrying a scruffy cat in her arms that looked like it hadn’t had a meal in days.

  Miles immediately started laughing and shaking his head when he saw the fur ball, but her persistence and determination eventually made him cave as he agreed to help her hide the cat from their parents until she could find it a home.

  When she threw her arms around her brother, a pang of jealousy and longing hit me straight in the gut. I couldn’t remember the last time someone hugged me or made me feel anything other than the piece of shit I was constantly told I was.

  Her beaming smile finally pulled away from Miles and landed on me. I don’t even think she realized I was there until that moment as I watched the surprise flash briefly in her eyes.

  When her brother introduced me, her smile got wider, causing something to shift in my heart. Her joy and innocence seeped through my barrier, and I vowed then and there that I would do whatever it took to keep her safe. I knew firsthand how cruel the world could be, and as long as I was around, I would make damn sure nothing was going to dim her light.

  Except I failed.

  The one night she needed me.

  I failed.

  Setting the bottle back, I remind myself of all the reasons why it’s better this way. I would rather her hate me and be free to find the life and happiness that she deserves than to be chained to someone who will only bring her pain in the end.

  Which is exactly why I should be turning around and finding the nearest hotel instead of playing with fire and tempting fate. The guilt inside me that consumes my every waking moment has me walking the rest of the way to the pool house that sits out back.

  I just need to know she’s happy.

  Once I see for myself that she’s okay, I’ll leave.

  Fishing out the spare key from my pocket that Miles had given me earlier, I turn the lock and step inside onto the light wood tile planks that are throughout the one-bedroom apartment. The small kitchen is off to the left with its white cabinets and gleaming black countertop. A small island with barstools sits in the middle, providing the perfect amount of space I need for easy dinners.

  I’m on the road a lot, but when I’m home, I prefer slapping a steak on a grill over using an oven, and with the huge outdoor kitchen just outside, I won’t be doing much cooking in here anyway.

  A small grey sectional is on the other side of the room with a huge TV that will come in handy when I analyze game footage.

  Walking through to the bedroom, I throw my huge duffel on the king-size bed. There’s a dresser and a decent-sized closet, so I won’t have a problem with space when my other clothes arrive.

  I stayed here just a few weeks ago when I flew in for Miles’s music bar opening and was surprised by just how much room this place has. Even the bathroom feels big with its walk-in shower and deep garden tub. The skylight installed above lets in a ton of light throughout the day, giving you the illusion that the space is bigger than it actually is.

  Stepping back into the living room area, I stand in front of the windows facing the pool and beyond it, the dark waters looming in the shadows.

  A light comes on, illuminating the pool, letting me know Savi is definitely home and awake. I glance at my watch and see it’s only nine. Guess there’s no better time than the present to let her know she’s got a new roommate for the next few days.

  Gripping the door handle, I step outside and walk toward the main house. Because of all the windows lining the back, I can easily see her in the kitchen as she pours herself a glass of water.

  Her dark hair is pulled up in a messy bun, and she’s wearing a t-shirt with a Georgia college logo across the front. I fight the way my body wants to react as my gaze takes in her long, tanned legs and the fact that she’s clearly braless under the white off-the-shoulder tee.

  I reach for the door before knocking, and frown when I realize it’s unlocked. She’s a clear target with all these windows, and anyone could just walk up from the beach.

  Shutting the door behind me, I expect her to look up, but she turns without seeing me and starts searching for something in the pantry. It’s then that I notice her white AirPods in her ears and realize she can’t hear a thing.

  Not wanting to scare her, I walk over to her to let her know I’m here so she doesn’t freak out when she notices me standing here. I hesitate briefly before I tap her gently on the shoulder.

  Big mistake.

  The next three seconds are a blur as she whirls around and grabs my arm in some type of move before her foot comes out and knocks me off balance as I dodge what clearly was going to be a nut shot. My large frame makes her unsteady as she uses her entire body weight to bring me down, causing us both to come crashing to the floor.

  I break the fall, making sure she lands on top as she scrambles up on her elbows before her eyes widen in shock.

  “Knox?” I see the surprise in her bright blue eyes seconds before they turn a stormy shade of midnight. “What the fuck are you doing in my kitchen?” She yells.

  “Good to see you too, sunshine.”

  Her eyes narrow at my nickname as the fire I know and love returns in full force. Icy daggers that would make most grown men run are honed in on me. I’m not like most men, though, as I feel myself harden underneath her.

  I’m the sick bastard who is addicted to how she makes me feel…that’s been obsessed with my best friend’s younger sister from the moment she started becoming a woman.

  The sick fuck who gets off on tormenting her and relishes in the hate she throws my way.

  Who is too selfish to completely walk away because she’s the one person who makes me feel alive, but will never allow myself to have.

  Light vs. dark.

  Angel vs. demon.

  And in this case, I’m going to make damn sure that the light wins for her.

  FOUR

  SAVI

  My brain tries rapidly to catch up with what just happened as I stare into the deep blue eyes of the man that I so desperately want to hate.

  Knox fucking Stone has been a constant thorn in my side for as long as I can remember, but he also saved me.

  How can you hate someone who saved you?

  With him, though, there’s a very blurred line between hate and wanting something you can never have. He’s made it very clear in the past how he feels about me, and I’m not about to give him the satisfaction of knowing what he does to me.

  I shake the fog from my brain and scramble to get off of him. His strong hands have a grip on my waist, and I end up straddling him with my movements, which was mistake number one, as I feel him harden beneath me.

  My body impulsively wants to sink into the feel of him, but I fight the urge as I invite my anger in to take over the lust-induced haze he’s got me under.

  “Let go of me, you big ass,” I grumble as I wrestle out of his hold and stand on shaky legs. My t-shirt barely covers me as I push it down and try to compose myself as I watch him slowly get up and stand to full height.

  Of course, the one man on this earth that doesn’t make me want to flinch underneath him has to be the most gorgeous specimen that God has ever made.

  He brushes his hair out of his eyes, and his golden streaks flash briefly in the light before he replaces his baseball cap, tucking the loose strands away. I notice he’s grown it out more, with the longer wings showing at the nape of his neck.

  His black t-shirt with the Bolts logo stretches across his broad chest as I impulsively go lower and take in his grey sweats. It’s like the ultimate sin candy on a stick staring at me, just begging me to have a taste.

  He’s still fully hard as I glance at his outline and try not to wonder if it’s as big as it looks before quickly looking away. At least I know he feels something towards me, even if he says otherwise. Hopefully, it’s painful for him, and his blue balls fall off from the pressure.

  “Don’t get too smug, sunshine. I get hard for just about anything with tits.” His smirk has me wanting to smack it right off his face.

  “It’s not that impressive,” I say, nodding my head to what clearly is contradicting my lie I’m forcing through my lips. “I can get better just by walking into a bar and picking a random stranger.”

  His eyes narrow, and I get satisfaction from the way his jaw tenses up. He’s just like my brothers with his overbearing protectiveness. Unlike my brothers, though, I love to see how far I can push him until he finally snaps.

  He can deny it all he wants, but there’s always been an underlying current of energy with us. I felt it the moment I met him at only seven years old. Back then, it was innocent and just a strong connection I couldn’t explain, but as I got older, it developed into something I wanted to explore.

  And I did most nights with just my imagination, my thoughts drifting to him as my body slowly began to cross that fragile line into womanhood.

  Then that night happened, and a year later, I was dating Tristan. After that, I left for college, and we didn’t see much of each other unless he came to visit us during the holidays or when he came home during the off-season.

  It’s easy to tell yourself the connection isn’t as strong when you are miles away, but every time we are in the same room, it’s like being body slammed into a brick wall, and you don’t know how you are going to survive or even feel when you come out on the other side.

  “You shouldn’t be hooking up with strangers,” he says through his rock-hard jaw that I’m surprised hasn’t broken a molar yet.

  “Lucky for you, I’m not your concern. I’m an adult and can sleep with whoever I want to. You should know how that works better than anyone, right, Stone? The number twenty-two is definitely a hot commodity, and the ultimate bragging rights for the puck bunny community, is it not?” I ask, looking as innocent as possible.

  “I guess my dick must be more impressive than you give it credit for.” His eyes rake down my body, and I resist the urge to cross my arms over my breasts, which are clearly on display through my thin white shirt, as I feel my nipples harden at his gaze. Heat flashes briefly in his eyes before he abruptly walks past me and yanks open the refrigerator door.

  “I highly doubt that,” I mutter, picking up my AirPods off the floor and setting them on the counter. “What are you doing here, Knox? Don’t you have someone else you could grace with your presence and make their life miserable?”

  I turn around and swallow hard as I meet his intense gaze. His chest is stretching his shirt with each rapid movement as his breathing intensifies.

  “What?” I try to rack my brain about what could possibly have gotten him so worked up. His knuckles are white, and I expect the door handle to crack at any minute.

  “Nothing,” he growls. “How about you put some pants on, and I’ll tell you why I’m here.” He turns around again and yanks a bottle of beer from the shelf.

  It’s then that I realize I just gave him the perfect view of my ass when I bent over to get my headphones off the floor. I probably should put some pants on, but I’m having too much fun watching him squirm.

  “I’m good. I’m comfortable with what I have on.” Sitting down on the wooden barstool at the island, I cross my legs as his eyes warily watch me. “I’ll take one of those,” I say, pointing at the beer in his hand.

  Grabbing a second one, he takes the bottle opener that’s magnetized to the side of the fridge and pops both tops before handing me one.

  “Thanks,” I grin sweetly before taking a long pull from the bottle. The beer is ice cold and feels good on my parched throat.

  Sighing, he pulls the barstool next to me to the other side of the island, keeping a safe barrier between us. I’m not sure at this point if it’s to protect him or me from this close proximity we are forced to be in.

  “As you know, I’ve moved back home,” he says, leaning back and taking a drink from the amber bottle before setting it back on the counter. “Season starts next week, and instead of living in a hotel room, Miles invited me to stay in the guest house out back.”

  “What!” I shriek, sitting upright. “He can’t do that without asking me!”

  I’m going to kill my brother.

  What was he thinking?

  He knows we can’t be in a room for more than two minutes without wanting to kill each other. How the hell does he think we could actually live together?

  “Miles thought it was best if we just surprised you. Not sure that was the best move since I about got my balls obliterated.” He gives the barest hint of a smile as he remembers our encounter. “Travis, Jake, and Ryder gave their approval, too, by the way.”

  “I’m going to murder them all,” I mutter. I can’t believe they didn’t at least consult me on this or warn me so I had time to get used to the idea. “Why here?” I ask suddenly. “You can afford to buy the damn hotel, or you could even rent a condo. I’m sure there are some nice ones right on the beach you could stay at.”

  “I don’t want to rent,” he says, shaking his head, “and I’m sick of hotel life. I get enough of it on the road. My contract was a good one, and I’ll be riding out with this team until retirement. I’ve got my eye on a few houses, and once I settle on one, I’ll be out of your hair. In the meantime, your brothers thought it would be a good idea if you had someone to help you out around here and take care of the place. So here I am,” he shrugs.