“Sure. What’s up?”

  “Well, we haven’t talked much since your Jonny Red interview,” he says. “Or what was supposed to be an interview, anyway.”

  I roll my eyes, not wanting to think about it. “Right.”

  “But I wanted to clear the air about what Jonny said.” He takes a breath. “About me and Harmony.”

  “Harvey, you don’t have to worry about that,” I say, raising a hand. “He was just being a dick.”

  “I know this thing between you guys isn’t… you know...”

  He makes a face, not wanting to say the rest of it within earshot of the various techs and stage hands scattered around.

  I nod for him to continue.

  “There’s nothing going on between me and Harmony,” he says. “She and I have spent a lot of time together over the last few days, but it’s professional. One-hundred percent legit.”

  “I know.” Sensing the tension in his words and body, I reach out and pat him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “She’s great! Don’t get me wrong.”

  “I know she is.”

  “But I’m not interested. In that way. We’re just buds.”

  “I know,” I say again. “You don’t have to explain anything.”

  “I know I don’t have to. But you and I are friends. I probably should have run it past you before agreeing to do the song. It just felt like a good opportunity. I didn’t want to waste it, you know?”

  “You’re right, Moondog,” I say, as much as it pains me to admit it. “Harmony’s star is nice and shiny right now. I get it.”

  Harvey takes a breath, releasing some of the tension in his shoulders. “Then, we’re cool?”

  “Yeah, man,” I say. “We’re cool.”

  He exhales, relieved. “Good. The last thing I want to do is mess up this tour. You guys gave me my big break, and I’m really grateful for that.”

  “You’d have broken out eventually, Harvey,” I say. “Believe me.”

  “Still.” He smiles. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  I take a step toward the back and he shifts in front of me.

  “So, since that’s all aired out or whatever, there’s something else I wanted to ask you about,” he says.

  “Uh…” I pause, seeing the nervous twitch return to his eyes. “Sure. Go ahead.”

  He clears his throat with a glance over my shoulder. “What’s the deal with Addison?” he asks quietly.

  “Addison?” I follow his eyes toward Katrina and Addison, now standing outside their dressing room with Jordan. “Oh, Addison,” I say, sensing the obvious.

  “It’s just…” Harvey exhales hard. “I’ve been trying to get to know her, but it’s like… I don’t know…”

  “Talking to a wall?” I say, nodding along.

  “Yes!” he says. “What’s that about?”

  I laugh. “Nothing, man. That’s just Addy.”

  “Not that I don’t dig the quiet type. It’s actually kind of nice sometimes. But after one or two or six attempts at conversation, they usually… reply. Addison, however…”

  “Stares at you until you go away?”

  “Pretty much.” He shares my grin. “I thought we all got along great in Chicago before.”

  “We did!” I say. “You’re here, aren’t you?”

  “I am! Totally. But with her, it’s like I don’t exist at all. So… what’s her deal? Is she seeing somebody?”

  “No,” I answer. “Not that I know of. Though, actually, it’s been a while since I’ve seen her with a guy.”

  Harvey blinks slowly. “Oh, so she… prefers women?”

  “Sometimes. There was a girl a few years ago. And another last summer. Oh! Wait. There was a guy earlier this year.”

  “There was?”

  “I think so.” I squint, trying to remember. “Never got a good look at him. But to answer your question, she prefers whatever. Depends on her mood, I guess.”

  Harvey nods along. “So, she probably just isn’t in the mood for me?”

  “Possibly. I wouldn’t take it too harshly, though. That’s just how she is. She goes weeks without even talking to me sometimes, and we see each other every day.”

  “Then I shouldn’t give up?” he asks, full of hope.

  “No. Or you can take the one or two or six blatant shows of indifference to be the signs they probably are.”

  “Then… I should move on?”

  “No. I wouldn’t. But I’ve always stepped confidently in the direction of my dreams.”

  Harvey stares blankly. “All right.”

  I pat his shoulder again. “It’s an uphill battle, Moondog.”

  “Yeah?”

  “One thing about Addison: she is, above all other things, a professional. Her cold shoulder might have more to do with that than anything else.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “I mean… she’s not going to hook up with a co-worker on tour,” I say gently. “She’s just not.”

  “Oh.” Harvey nods, his face full of understanding. “Yeah. That makes sense.” Little gears turn behind his eyes. “So, she might actually really be into me. She’s just not acting on it.”

  “Maybe. Or she hates you.”

  “Of course,” he says, not listening anymore. “It’s so clear now.”

  “Are you sure?” I ask, amused.

  Harvey smiles warmly. “Thanks, Knox.”

  “Hey, you’re welcome,” I say, shaking my head. Can’t wait to see how this plays out. “Anyway, I’ll let you finish getting ready. See you and Harmony at shot time.”

  She is performing tonight, technically. She gets to take a shot.

  Them’s the rules.

  “Oh, we’re not performing tonight,” Harvey says.

  I pause. “What?”

  “She didn’t tell you?”

  “Tell me what?”

  “Harmony canceled, so I’m doing my regular set instead.”

  My chest clenches. “She canceled? When?”

  “Chrissy told me about… twenty minutes ago?” he says. “She said Harmony was sorry, but she was feeling under the weather tonight and we’d try it again some other time. I figured you knew.”

  “No. I didn’t.” I step back. “Good luck.”

  “Thanks, man. You, too.”

  Harvey walks off to finish prepping for his set, leaving me frozen in thought.

  Harmony… canceled?

  That’s not possible.

  This is her big night. Her mother is coming to see her perform. A dream come true, as she said. Nothing short of a deadly plague would have kept her from this stage.

  But she’s not here?

  Under the weather, my ass.

  Something is wrong.

  I fish into my pocket for my phone, quickly checking my messages in case she tried to reach me. But there’s nothing.

  I call her. No answer.

  I call again. Still nothing.

  “Harmony,” I murmur to myself, “where are you?”

  “Knox,” Jordan says, suddenly at my side. “You warmed up?”

  “Uh…” I don’t look up from my phone. “Not yet.”

  “Better join the girls for vocals, then,” she says, not a suggestion. “Shot time in five.”

  Fuck shot time. My muse is missing!

  I stop myself from saying it out loud.

  “Fuck,” I whisper instead.

  “What’s that?” Jordan asks.

  “Nothing. I’ll be right there, Jordan.”

  She eyes me for a second, then walks off, continuing down her checklist.

  The show goes on. Always.

  No matter how much I want to leave and track Harmony down and find out what’s really happened, I have a show to do tonight.

  I put my phone away and wander over to the girls. Their voices echo as they sing scales to warm up. I join in, harmonizing with them for a few minutes until Jordan returns to shoo us to shot time before Harvey takes the stage. Alone.

  Because Harmony isn’t here.

  “You okay, buddy?” Addison asks. “Looking stiff.”

  “Yeah, a little,” I answer.

  “Want to do another shot?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  She pulls out a flask from… somewhere and offers it to me.

  I take a swig. It burns all the way down. “Thanks,” I say, offering it back.

  Addison takes a drink, too.

  I smile. “Harvey’s got a thing for you, by the way.”

  She groans. “You didn’t encourage him, did you?”

  “Honestly, I have no idea.”

  With a sigh, she tightens the lid on her flask and stashes it in her guitar case. “I’ll handle it,” she says.

  “Be gentle with the poor boy,” I joke. “He’s from the Midwest.”

  She sits down with a frown, but a smile curls up one cheek.

  34

  KNOX

  Ispend the show constantly looking into the wings, searching for her eyes.

  Only three shows in, but there’s a part of me that’s already gotten used to her being there. There was a time when I could hear her voice above all others in the audience. I could feel her there, even when I couldn’t see her beneath the blinding lights.

  But tonight, she’s not here.

  What happened, Harmony?

  Once the encore is long over and the after show selfies are taken, we return to the hotel to get some sleep. We all board the golden elevator, Jonah with his phone already in hand, ready for his late-night phone call with Marla.

  On the 16th floor, we disperse and say our good nights. Jordan reminds us of our wake up call time and we all reply with loving groans.

  I enter my room and pause, planting my back against it for a moment while I retrieve my phone. Still no texts. No messages. Complete radio silence.

  I send a text.

  Where are you?

  No reply.

  After a few moments of hesitation and I step out into the hallway. I walk down to Harmony’s room and knock.

  No response.

  I plant my ear flat against the door to listen for movement or a television or fucking anything.

  Silence.

  I return to my room. After ten minutes of pacing the floor, I leave again and ride the golden elevator down to the lobby. Every few seconds, I check my phone again for a reply, but still... nothing.

  I aimlessly wander, no longer tired. Eventually, I find my way to the hotel bar. I expect it to be closed, but it’s open, still forty-minutes away from last call. For a moment, I think it might be better to go back upstairs and drink alone, but I’m already here. Might as well just sit on a stool, order a drink, and try not to think about where I am.

  It’s just a bar. Just a bar in a Botsford Plaza. That makes it easier, actually. I’ve been to so many of them throughout the country. They all look the same, mostly. I’ll just imagine I’m in Las Vegas or Denver or Boston. Anywhere but San Francisco.

  Anywhere but the place we met.

  The place we had our first kiss.

  Our first… everything.

  I plop onto the stool and order a whiskey sour from the young bartender. He nods and gives me a sly I-know-who-you-are-but-I’ll-be-cool-and-not-make-a-big-deal-about-it look before grabbing an old-fashioned glass from beneath the counter.

  “Refill for your girl, too?” he asks.

  “What?”

  He gestures over my shoulder. I look and freeze as déjà vu punches me hard in the gut.

  Harmony.

  She’s here, sitting alone at the same table. The same dark corner.

  The same sad eyes.

  “Yeah,” I answer him. “What’d she have?”

  “Straight whiskey,” he says, sounding impressed.

  I say nothing as he pours out a double and sets it down next to my drink. “Thanks,” I murmur as I take them both with me.

  I walk to her table. Harmony doesn’t notice me. Her gentle eyes lock on the object in her hand. A card attached to a black lanyard. I know it well. It’s a Criminal Records backstage pass.

  I set the fresh drink down on the table next to her empty glass and she finally looks up.

  “Not now,” she says with a sigh.

  “Looked like you needed a refill,” I say.

  “Thanks,” she says harshly. “Now, go away.”

  Harmony grabs the new glass and chugs it down, swallowing without so much as a grimace.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask.

  She scoffs but doesn’t reply, her eyes now fixed on the bottom of her empty glass.

  “Harmony.”

  “No.”

  “No, what?”

  “I’m not in the mood for this right now.” Her eyes shimmer. Sad and hurt. “Go away.”

  I don’t move. “What’s with the pass?”

  “Oh, this?” She taps it a few times against the table. “This, I got from the box office. It was set aside… for my mother.”

  I say nothing. I already know where this is going.

  “I waited there for her to come pick it,” she continues. “She was going to watch the show from backstage and then we were going to celebrate together afterward.” She goes quiet for a moment. “I kept waiting. And I waited some more.” She swallows hard. “She didn’t come.”

  The sadness in her words cut me deeper than expected. “Harm...”

  She looks up; her smile stiff and angry. “This was... everything she wanted. My whole life, all she ever talked about was how I was gonna be a star. And when I finally did it...” She picks up her drink, but quickly drops it back down when she realizes it is already empty. “She had something better to do. Somewhere else to be.”

  “Harmony—”

  “That’s why I’m here,” she mutters, ignoring me. “That’s why I’m going to keep sitting here and you are going to go away, because I am not doing this with you right now.” She stares, her eyes thick with unfallen tears. “I can’t.”

  A numb feeling fills my chest. I haven’t seen Harmony like this since… ever.

  I’ve never seen her like this.

  Upset over her mother? Sure.

  Angry with me? Loads of times.

  But worn down? Defeated?

  Never.

  Even at her lowest, Harmony kept her spark. But right now, there’s no spark. No flame.

  My muse lost her fire.

  I head back to the bar and order her another drink.

  When I return to the table, I set it down in front of her and Harmony groans lightly.

  “I said go away, Knox.”

  “Shut up,” I say.

  I sit down beside her. I wrap an arm around her shoulder and pull her closer to me. She goes stiff, at first. After a few moments, she relaxes. She releases a quivering breath and sinks against my chest, her head resting heavy on my shoulder.

  I rub her arm. I kiss her forehead. I sit with her while we sip our drinks, and we say nothing. We don’t have to.

  I remember that cute girl in the brown dress sobbing over a notebook because she wasn’t good enough.

  I remember the promise I made to let no one make her feel like that again.

  She remembers, too.

  Time goes by in our dark corner until the bartender gives me a look. Last call.

  “Come on,” I whisper, breaking our silence.

  Harmony raises her head, her eyelids heavy. She nods, ready and willing to go with me. Keeping her in one arm, I walk us across the hotel lobby toward the elevators. She clings to me the entire way up to her room, where she slowly unlocks the door.

  She steps inside; her form sliding out of my grasp, but she doesn’t go far beyond the threshold. Turning back, Harmony looks at me with those pretty eyes. Still full of sadness, but her tears are dry.

  “Thank you,” she says.

  “It was nothing,” I say, shifting back a step. “The bartender knew who we were. It would have looked strange if I didn’t stick around.”

  “Oh. Right. Well, thanks anyway. I guess.” She starts closing the door. “Good night.”

  “Harmony.”

  She stops.

  “I would have done it anyway,” I say. “Even without witnesses.”

  “I know,” she says. “Thank you.”

  I nod. “Good night.”

  Harmony doesn’t move. For a moment, I think she’s about to say something else. I wish she would say something else because... I don’t want to leave her.

  I don’t want her to be alone tonight.

  I don’t want to be alone tonight. I want to scoop her up into my arms and hold her and kiss her until she forgets what made her sad in the first place.

  I want to forget everything that’s kept us apart and collapse into the ecstatic bliss of her for just one goddamn night.

  You know what?

  Fuck it.

  I step forward. Harmony sucks in a breath as I cup her face, but she doesn’t stop me from kissing her. She keeps her lips soft and pliable, accepting it. Wanting it.

  A second kiss. This one’s deeper, far more real than the one we do in public.

  She touches my wrists, but she still doesn’t stop me as I crush my mouth on hers again.

  “Knox,” she whispers, a quivering gasp. “There are no cameras here.”

  “Fuck the cameras,” I say.

  We kiss again. Harmony grips my leather jacket as she drifts backward. I let the door close behind us, the loud latch echoing away with the final bits of my hesitation.

  Harmony’s here, now, her tongue finding mine in the dark.

  There’s no going back.

  There never was.

  35

  KNOX

  We step together, kicking each other’s ankles as we fall desperately into the familiar.

  Harmony pushes my jacket down my shoulders. She tugs at my belt. I yank at her pants, the need for her flesh burning deep within.

  Sweet Jesus Christ, yes.

  Please, let this happen.

  Harmony eases back, a sudden tension in her shoulders.

  “What is it?” I ask.

  She holds her breath. “You need to go,” she says, the words slurring slightly.

  “Why?”

  Harmony bolts into the bathroom. A moment later, I hear her fall to her knees and⁠—