“What’s wrong with Harmony?”

  “Everything! They’ve taken my beautiful muse and turned her into a fucking doll. And she knows it! She knows what she’s become, and she’s okay with it, for some reason.”

  “Well, that’s her brand,” Jonah says.

  “This isn’t about some brand, Jo! This is about her. The woman I love, the one who sets my soul on fire, is gone. She’s gone, and I don’t know how to function without her in this world.”

  “You’ve done it before,” he says carefully. “You can do it again, Knox.”

  “Before, I could keep going. At least I knew she was still out there somewhere. But now? She’s gone. She’s been replaced by some pink-colored robot and I hate it. I hate her. I hate…” I take a breath, my words stumbling over my thoughts. “I hate that I still love her. I hate that I’m not sure if I ever did in the first place.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Maybe there is no love,” I say. “Maybe it was all just the muse. Just some chemical reaction to whatever dopamine rush I got whenever she was around. Is that all love is? Does it even exist? Are we all just chemically charged specs floating around on a giant rock in the middle of the universe thinking our feelings are real when they’re not?”

  “Okay,” Jonah says after a minute. “You’re going to let me read your Best Man speech before you give it, right?”

  “This isn’t funny, Jonah.”

  “Knox, I’m sorry things aren’t working out with Harmony. I’m not going to sit here and tell you I told you so, because that’s not who I am and you know it. But I’m worried about you. Your friends are worried about you. We just want to make sure you’re okay.”

  I glance around. As I look at the others, their eyes dart away, pretending they aren’t listening to this entire conversation. “I’m fine,” I say, loud enough for everyone to hear.

  “Are you?” he asks.

  “Yes!”

  “It’s okay if you aren’t. Just…” He sets his hand on my shoulder. “Come talk to me if you start to… you know.”

  You know.

  “Fine,” I mutter as I draw my hood back up. “I will.”

  Jonah’s weight rises off the seat.

  I stare at the blurry road some more.

  51

  HARMONY

  “Five-six-seven-eight!”

  Donna’s voice echoes throughout the room, then fades away beneath the song blaring from the speakers.

  “Boom boom, our hearts entwine.

  In this moonlit night, we’ll shine.

  Taking chances, breaking free.

  Stealing you away, just you and me.”

  Counting in my head, I dance with my eyes on the mirror in front of us, moving in near-perfect sync with the four dancers behind me. The routine wasn’t difficult to relearn, but Donna added in a few new moves to keep it fresh.

  “Great!” Donna says, clapping as the music ends. “Let’s take five. Then, we tighten it up!”

  I chuckle, echoes of tighten it up! still carved into my memory from our last rehearsals together.

  Catching my breath, I pat the other dancers on the back before heading over to drown myself in water. As I walk over to my bags, I notice Chrissy lingering nearby in a black suit and top with a very expensive handbag hanging from her shoulder.

  I smile. “Hey.”

  “Great job, girlfriend!” she says as she scoops a towel off the bench and offers it to me.

  “Thanks.” I gladly take it and dab the sweat off my brow. “What are you doing here?” I ask curiously.

  “What are you talking about?” she says. “Of course I’m here! Why would I miss this?”

  “I thought you were in meetings all day.”

  “Oh.” She waves a hand. “Those are done.”

  “Sweet,” I say as I grab my bottle of water. I take a seat on the bench, resting my tender legs as I absently pick up my phone.

  Knox

  Can we talk?

  Please?

  Or not.

  I turn it off and drop it back into my bag with a sigh.

  “Uh-oh,” Chrissy says, standing over me. “Trouble in paradise?”

  I roll my eyes. “It was never paradise.”

  She throws on a pout, hinting at me to continue.

  “Starting to think this was all a terrible idea,” I say.

  “Oh?”

  “I mean, it was always a terrible idea,” I say, words spilling out. “Me and Knox don’t work. We didn’t before, and we were never going to convince anyone we could now.”

  Chrissy nods slowly.

  “But whatever,” I say, confidently dusting it off my hands. “In the end, I didn’t need him or this stupid fake relationship. My tide is rising and there’s nothing Mr. Artist can do about it.”

  Chrissy blinks as Donna’s voice echoes throughout the room again, “All right, let’s tighten this up!”

  I push off the bench, dropping the water and towel onto it. “Gotta get back to work,” I say, happy to go.

  “Break both your legs!” Chrissy says.

  I chuckle at that, then walk back to my mark on the floor with the other dancers.

  “From the top!” Donna says.

  I check my position in the mirror ahead. For a split second, the world behind me fades away, and I stand alone. Before, that would have broken me a little. But now, I see the opportunity in it.

  There’s no one to stop me now.

  A rush of adrenaline fires through my veins.

  My skin glistens, but I’ve only begun to sweat.

  “Five-six-seven-eight!”

  The elevator doors open and I blink with surprise.

  I… don’t remember boarding it.

  Too tired to care, I step off the golden elevator and search my handbag for my room key. Botsford Plaza Seattle. Fourteenth floor. Room 14… something.

  A door opens as I pass it.

  “Harmony.”

  I pause mid-stride, glancing over as Knox steps out. He’s wearing a tank top and slacks, and his face is unshaven, his cheeks slightly sunk in.

  “Oh,” I say, resuming my pace. “Hi.”

  “Wait.” Knox closes his door. “Harmony, hold on.”

  “Really not in the mood right now, Knox,” I say, checking my room key again. Room 1412.

  “You’ve been avoiding me for two days,” he says, now at my side.

  “No, I’ve been working for two days,” I say, checking the door numbers around me. 1406. 1408. “Plastic doesn’t mold itself, you know.”

  “I didn’t mean that.”

  “I’m stiff and exhausted and all I want to do is take a long, hot shower and sleep until tomorrow night.”

  “Rehearsals going well, then?”

  I ignore him. 1410.

  “Harmony?”

  I reach 1412.

  “Harmony.”

  “They’re going fine, Knox!” I swipe my card through the lock, but it doesn’t turn green. “Not that you actually care.”

  “I do care.”

  I swipe it again. It still doesn’t unlock. “Do you?” I ask, frustrated. “Does anybody?”

  “Yes.” He steps closer. “Do you need help?”

  “No!” I swipe it. Still fucking red. “I don’t need help. I need you to go away and leave me alone.”

  Finally, the swipe goes through, and I shove the door open.

  Knox stops it from closing. “Harmony, I’m sorry.”

  “Why?” I drop my bag on the floor. “I’m not. In fact, I’m seeing clearly for the first time in my life. Now, I see the truth.”

  “The truth about what?”

  I nod proudly. “That I’m on my own.”

  “You’re not on your own, Harmony.”

  “No. I am. Doesn’t matter what I do, I always end up that way, eventually.”

  He winces sadly. “That’s not true.”

  “Doesn’t matter if I’m number one on the radio or wearing a fourth place sash, I disappoint somebody. I’m going to end up alone, so I might as well embrace it now.”

  “I don’t think that’s right,” he says, just above a whisper.

  “Well, I don’t have to care what you think,” I say. “It’s not like we’re really dating.”

  Knox tightens his jaw. “Right,” he says.

  I touch the door. “Was there anything else?” I ask, ready to close it on his face.

  He sighs. “When are we leaving tomorrow?”

  “We?”

  “Yes, we. You’re gonna be on TV.”

  “And?”

  “And it’ll look strange if I’m not there,” he says. “To everyone else, we’re still dating.”

  “Well, I don’t want you there, so…” I shrug. “Make something up.”

  He exhales another hard breath. “Fine. Harvey wanted to know if you two are still performing together on Saturday.”

  “Of course,” I say. “The show goes on, right?”

  “Well, let him know,” he says. “I’m not your secretary.”

  “I’ll text him right now.”

  “You do that.”

  “I will.”

  “Okay.” Knox steps back. “Good night.”

  “Good night.”

  “And good luck at⁠—”

  I close the door.

  “… the show tomorrow,” I hear him say through the door.

  I sink against the door, waiting. It takes a moment, but I finally hear his shuffling feet heading down the hall, followed by the light opening and closing of his door.

  “Thanks,” I whisper, all alone.

  52

  KNOX

  Istare into the bottom of my pint glass.

  Through a few inches of beer, I see the Botsford Plaza logo staring back at me. The stamp of luxury. Doesn’t feel very luxurious tonight, though.

  There’s a large TV mounted on the wall by the bar. I pretend not to watch it. I pretend like it doesn’t have my complete, undivided attention as I drink. And drink.

  Tonight’s VRL is only minutes away, says the commercial break.

  Tonight’s guest is America’s latest pop sensation, Harmony!

  You don’t want to miss it, you pathetic piece of shit!

  I empty my glass and signal for the bartender to refill it.

  “There you are,” I hear Jonah say as he slides onto the stool next to mine.

  I don’t look at him, my eyes on the TV instead. “Here I am.”

  “I’ve been texting you.”

  “Okay.”

  “We all have,” he says. “We’ve been looking all over for you.”

  “Well, I’ve been here all day, so you guys obviously didn’t look very hard.”

  “We have practice tonight, Knox,” he says, his voice sharp. “The others are waiting for us now.”

  “So?” When he doesn’t reply right away, I look over. “What?”

  He studies my face. “Knox, talk to me,” he says, his voice light and sincere.

  A fresh pint appears in front of me. I snatch it up.

  “No,” I say.

  “Why not?”

  “Because I don’t want to.”

  “What happened? Did you talk to Harmony?”

  “Of course I talked to Harmony!” I say, giving him an exaggerated wink. “She’s my girlfriend.” I take a sip from my pint. “I talked to my girlfriend, and she said she doesn’t want me around. She wants to be alone. Or she is alone, or something. Always alone. Whatever. Either way, I got the message loud and clear. She’d rather be there, alone, with her backup dancers who take her on awkward and hilarious first dates than be with me.”

  Jonah sighs. “I’m sorry, Knox.”

  I laugh off the jealous twinge in my gut. “Don’t be. We were never really together, anyway,” I say. “It was all just make-believe!”

  He gives me a look, a subtle reminder to keep my voice down.

  I raise my glass. “To clicks and views!”

  “Knox, are you drunk?”

  “Probably.”

  “Maybe you should sit this round out?”

  He tries to take my glass, but I slide it away, hugging it in the elbow of my leather jacket for safekeeping.

  Jonah gives up and talks to the bartender instead. “He’s cut off,” he says with oh-so-impressive authority.

  “You can’t cut me off, Jo,” I say.

  “Yes, I can.”

  “Oh, right.” I snort. “You’re a Botsford. You can do anything you fucking want.”

  He glares. “What?”

  “Rich, entitled little Baby Botsford,” I say. “Not a care in the world. Never have to worry about anything. You know, that cheap blue beanie ain’t fooling anyone, you know.”

  He blinks. “Where the hell is this coming from, Knox?”

  “Nowhere. Piss off.”

  I signal the bartender for another.

  “Sorry, man,” he says to me. “You’re cut off.”

  “Hey, do you know who I am?!” I ask.

  “Yeah. I do,” he answers calmly. “And you’re embarrassing yourself.”

  He snatches the pint from my elbow and walks off with it.

  I scoff. “Fine, whatever.” I slide off my stool. “I’ll just go upstairs and drink alone while I watch the love of my life make a damn fool of herself on live television.”

  I perform a few sloppy dance moves.

  “That’s not a good idea, Knox,” Jonah says.

  “Too damn bad!”

  “Knox—”

  I bump shoulders with someone standing behind me.

  “Oops,” they say. “Have you had one too many, Knox?”

  I halt in my tracks, my blurred vision slowly fixing on his face. His thin, chiseled jaw and sharp brows. His stupid, handsome eyes.

  Logan fucking Shock.

  “Oh, come on, man,” I say, deflating. “What the fuck do you want now?”

  Logan holds up his hands. “I want nothing,” he says, amused.

  “Well, you can’t be here,” I say. “This is a glam rock douche-free zone!”

  Logan laughs it off. “I won’t be here long. I’m just here for the show.”

  “What show?”

  “VRL, obviously,” he says, his smirk digging in. “I hear tonight’s will have one hell of a performance. By the way, did she receive my flowers?”

  “Who?”

  “Ms. Harmony, of course.”

  My eye twitches. “You sent Harmony flowers?”

  Jonah touches my elbow. “Knox, come on,” he says gently. “Let’s just go.”

  “Ah, Jonah!” Logan says. “I believe we haven’t officially met yet. I’m Logan Shock.”

  “Yeah, he knows!” I pull my arm free of Jonah’s grasp. “Why are you even here? This place ain’t exactly of the people.”

  “Well, you’ve said such wonderful things about Botsford Plazas and tonight, the girls and I thought… why not? There’s nothing wrong with treating yourself now and then, am I right?”

  “Fuck off, Shock.”

  “Knox.” Jonah shifts forward, forcing me to take a step back. “We’re going. Have a good night, Logan,” he says to him. “It was nice to finally meet you.”

  “You too, Jonah,” Logan says as he angles toward my seat.

  “No! This is my bar.” I free myself from Jonah and claim back my stool. “I’m staying right here.”

  I turn my back to them, pointing myself at the TV instead. As I do, I see Harmony.

  My heart squeezes. There she is. There’s my girl in all her pink pop princess glory, singing and dancing for all the world to ogle and enjoy.

  Boom boom.

  From the corner of my eye, I see Logan take a seat down the bar, his smirking eyes on the television ahead.

  53

  HARMONY

  “Are you ready, honey?”

  I barely even hear Chrissy’s voice. Still, I nod. She and a stage hand lead me through the maze backstage. I join my dancers; our outfits shiny, our make-up perfect.

  The rest… is a blur. A truly wonderful blur.

  Before I know it, I’m standing on the legendary VRL stage. Inside, I count in time. I anticipate the next move, the next lyric in the song. Outside, I sing. I dance. I try not to stare directly into the blinding lights. I focus on my breath, on the other dancers. I lean on my training, on all the hours of practice that went into these four minutes.

  And when it’s over, I hear applause. The studio audience cheers, their enthusiasm far beyond what a “PLEASE CLAP” sign would expect of them. Chrissy stands close by next to the camera crews, her own smile reaching her eyes.

  A man in headphones behind the camera waves at me, gesturing for me to head toward the couches in the center of the studio. I move fast, doing what I’ve seen countless other artists do throughout the years of watching this show.

  Now it’s my turn.

  I cross the stage, meeting Tony Loudermilk in front of his desk. The Tony Loudermilk. He discovered some of the greatest pop stars ever, and now he’s shaking my hand.

  “Holy cow!” Tony says over the cheering audience. “Ladies and gentlemen, another round for Harmony!”

  They clap and scream. I grin and laugh, unable to believe this is really happening. “Thank you!” I say, blowing them a kiss. “Thank you so much!”

  When they finally calm down, Tony rounds his desk to his chair and I take a seat on the couch next to his desk. “I think they like you,” he jokes as he runs a hand through his slick silver hair. They laugh. “Welcome to the show.”

  “Thank you for having me. I love being here,” I say. “This is incredible.”

  “Well, we have a lot we want to talk to you about tonight, so let’s dive in. First…” He taps his cards against his desk. “Let’s talk about Knox.”

  The crowd cheers again. I force a laugh, ignoring the tightness in my chest at the mention of his name.

  “Who?” I joke, sparking a wave of laughter throughout the studio.

  “Knox Benton and Criminal Records,” Tony says, mostly for the audience’s benefit. “Huge friends of ours. They’ve done the show before.”