Even though she didn’t say so, I assume that’s why you’re working there too. I know my son doesn’t know this, and I hope you’ll tell him. He’s angry, but I believe he will come around and understand. He wouldn’t be so angry if he didn’t love you so deeply. That’s what I keep telling him.

  That’s not the point of my note, though. I’m writing to tell you Jacob and I will do what we can to get the community to help with the expenses for your dat’s therapy treatments. That’s what a church and community are supposed to do—share together in all things, both gut and bad. With that promise, we also encourage you to step down from your job. A television show is ne place for a young woman such as you. Don’t be tempted by the world and all that it offers.

  I’m having another sewing frolic tomorrow. It won’t be the same without you. I hope to see you there.

  Love, Jeanette

  Joy didn’t realize her hands were trembling until she attempted to fold the paper. Matthew was angry, but if she quit, all would be forgiven. And the church was going to help provide for dat’s treatments. It seemed almost too good to be true.

  For a moment she tried to picture life as before. Before she’d started working on the set, she’d woken up slowly and had time to talk with Mem and Dat before heading over to Pinecraft Fabric and Quilts. She had time to attend sewing frolics and to be with Matthew. That old life was what she wanted most, wasn’t it? To know Dat’s treatment would be covered and that she could go on with her romance? To love and to be loved? To marry and live a simple Amish life?

  That’s what she wanted before, but now…What had changed? She’d made new friendships with Englischers. And she saw that while she had been sewing with friends and working in a quilt shop, there were real people out in the world who needed hope and to hear about God’s love. And now Alicia wanted to start a Bible study. She was opening up right before Joy’s eyes. Her friend would be crushed. She’d close back up and resurrect those old walls if Joy walked away now.

  “What am I going to do?” she whispered.

  “Joy!” Rowan called her name. “We’re getting ready to shoot. Are you almost done?”

  She folded up the letter and tucked it into her apron pocket. She didn’t have to decide this moment. She had tonight to think about that. Today she had a job to do.

  Joy’s knees trembled slightly as she hurried over to Rowan. She offered a smile that she hoped was as sweet as one of Lovina’s peanut butter pies.

  When she paused beside him, he eyed her suspiciously. “Ready to get started?”

  “Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t I be ready?”

  “You just look a little pale, that’s all.”

  Joy patted her cheek. Then she swept her hand around the room. “That’s because you’ve been keeping me inside this set. I’m happy we’ll be shooting outside the rest of the week.”

  “Yeah, me too,” Rowan said, but he still looked worried.

  Joy sat down in her director’s chair next to his, knowing whatever decision she made, people would get hurt. If she stayed or if she went, someone wouldn’t understand. Someone would feel abandoned.

  Zucchini Casserole

  2 cups cooked, sliced zucchini

  1 cup milk

  2 eggs, beaten

  ¼ cup butter, melted

  1 cup crushed crackers

  ½ teaspoon salt

  1 tablespoon sugar

  ⅛ teaspoon ground black pepper

  ¾ cup shredded cheddar cheese

  1 small onion, chopped

  Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Combine all ingredients together; place in a well-greased 8 by 8-inch casserole dish. Bake for 35 minutes or until golden brown.

  Twenty-Five

  Faith without works won’t work. Faith with works will.

  AMISH PROVERB

  Joy woke up extra early to read her Bible and pray. Yet even as the minutes ticked by, she was afraid to get up. Afraid to get dressed. Afraid to make a decision. She lay gazing at the dust in the air as the morning sun brightened the bedside table and illuminated her Bible. As she looked at it, a Scripture verse she’d learned at school came to mind.

  “The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the Word of God stands forever,” Joy whispered.

  She had a choice to make. She could get up, get dressed, and go to the sewing frolic at Jeanette Slagel’s home. She could be accepted once again, and she could continue her relationship with Matthew. Or she could get dressed and go to the set. She could finish the role she’d been given there and lead the Bible study at lunch.

  The Word of God stands forever.

  She could surround herself with godly Amish women who knew God’s Word, knew Him, and trusted Him. Or she could go share His Word with those who were hungry for it. Who didn’t know His Word and who didn’t know Him.

  She thought about Elizabeth. The woman was eager to share the goodness of God with anyone who came into the fabric store and quilt shop.

  “If God brings me a person who needs a taste of God’s Word, I’m not going to send them away hungry,” Elizabeth had said more than once.

  Joy also thought about what Alicia had told Joy’s family over Shepherd’s Pie. She’d taken on this project because she wanted something wholesome and good in her life. What was more wholesome or good than God?

  Tears filled Joy’s eyes as she thought about Matthew next. She had no doubt that she was in love with him. He was the person—the only person—she could imagine spending her life with, but to walk onto that set today would mean walking away from him, from their future.

  “I trust You, God.” The words came as a whisper. Even if she did become Matthew’s wife, she’d always regret turning her back on those who needed to hear about God’s love so desperately.

  Joy rose and dressed in the good coral dress she always wore to the studio. She needed to trust God with this, even if it meant walking away from the only person she could picture sharing a future with. Tears fell down her cheeks, but there was no other way.

  It had been a quiet morning on the set. Everyone was getting ready for a new scene, and in a strange way the once-dramatic cast members had started to act more like friends. A storm had blown into Sarasota, so instead of filming on the beach they’d set up a front porch set inside and worked on this different scene. The mock house front was an exact duplicate of the small house they were renting close to Phillippi Park. The carpenters had built the porch and landing on the studio set. But instead of the two plastic chairs, someone had mounted a porch swing. The result was charming.

  Rowan was nowhere to be seen, so Joy moved to her regular chair and waited.

  “Hey, do you think you can help?” The voice was from right behind her, and Joy assumed the cameraman, Steven, was talking to one of the crew. She didn’t turn.

  “What is her name?” Steven was asking someone. Then as if remembering, he blurted it out. “Joy.” His hand touched her shoulder, and she jumped.

  Her heartbeat quickened as she turned. The man stood right behind her.

  Heat flooded her cheeks. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea you were talking to me.”

  “I need your help with this scene. It just doesn’t look right on camera.”

  “All right. But what do you need? I’m not sure how much I can help.”

  “All I need is for you to go sit on that porch set. An Amish bachelor has come to town, and he’s supposed to meet Alicia—Sadie’s—dad…or as you say, dat. I just need you to tell him her dat isn’t home.”

  Joy looked at each of the cameramen. All eyes were on her and her face grew hotter still. Just do it and you’ll be done before you know it, she told herself. She blew out a breath and hurried to the porch swing.

  Then she looked around. “And what am I doing now that I’m here?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean an Amish woman never just sits on the porch. We are always doing something. Even if we were waiting for a friend to visit we’d be writing a letter or mending.”

  “Okay.” He pointed to the dress she’d planned on taking home to mend the hem. “Work on that.”

  A stagehand brought her the dress and a needle and thread as an assistant gave her the lines. Joy thought about mentioning she’d be carrying around a whole sewing basket, but she decided not to push it. It wasn’t as if she was going to be in this television show.

  She adjusted herself on the swing and started hemming. She’d seen a new actor on set and she assumed he was the man who would be playing the Amish bachelor. He’d come in this morning, and he didn’t look very Amish to her. Still, when footsteps neared, her heart pounded. She could feel the blood moving through her veins from her heart to her limbs.

  “Miss?” a voice asked. She looked up. He wasn’t the new actor she expected, but she had seen this one exiting Yoder’s Restaurant the day before. He had a tan face and light blond hair. His blue eyes nearly pierced her.

  Joy sat silent, eyeing him, and then she remembered why the character was talking to her, or at least why the cameraman said he’d come. Joy couldn’t remember her lines completely, so she decided to wing it.

  “If you’re looking for my dat, he’s not here. He’s, uh, still in town. He should be back soon.”

  He pointed to the empty rocking chair. “Do you mind?”

  “Ne, not at all.”

  He sat down, and his eyes dropped to her hands. For a moment he watched as she worked.

  “Small, neat stitching, just like my mem does it.”

  “My mem too.” She set her mending to the side, wondering what else to do or say.

  “Cut!” Rowan’s voice broke through. She hadn’t even known he’d been out there or that they’d been filming. Then he hurried forward. “That was perfect. Just perfect. Tell the writers to capture that dialogue.” Then he turned to an actress who was standing to the side. “Did you see that? Joy rocked the swing slowly. She talked slow. There was no rushing the words. Did you see her blush, and the way she caught her breath? And did you see the way he looked at her, both with interest and acceptance? That. I want that.”

  Joy cleared her throat, hearing those words. She hadn’t meant to blush or catch her breath. She was just surprised to see who the actor was, that’s all.

  “All right.” The actress stepped forward. “I’ll see what I can do… unless you want her to play the part.”

  The woman meant that as a joke, but Joy could tell from the look in Rowan’s eyes that he was considering the idea.

  “No, no. I’m not interested in that.” She rose and hurried back to her chair. But Rowan beat her there.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to play that part? We already have the first scene. Your character is only going to show up once in a while.”

  “I honestly do not want to be an actress.”

  “I hear what you’re saying, but if your mother says she doesn’t mind, will you?”

  Joy put her fists on her hips. “I know my mother. She’s a good Amish woman. She is not going to let me be an actress.”

  “But if she said yes, then would you? Promise me that you would.”

  Joy jutted out her chin. “Yes, if my mother said so, then I suppose I would.”

  “Good. Just make sure you wear that coral dress. I want to keep the next scene consistent.”

  “But you haven’t even asked her.”

  “I already did.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “When she brought food earlier. I mentioned I needed someone for a new character spot. I asked if I could cast you. It’s just a very small part, Joy. There are only a few more scenes.”

  Joy’s mouth dropped open. She looked to the new actress and the actor who played the bachelor. “So you were all in on this?” She looked to the cameraman. “You set me up?”

  Alicia strode out and slid her arm through the crook of Joy’s arm. “You’re a visiting cousin—my visiting cousin. It’ll be fun.”

  “I…I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say you’ll let us shoot two more scenes. Then we’ll be done.”

  “Yes, fine. Let’s get it over with.” She picked up a copy of the script and scanned it. “But if the bishop says anything negative, he’s going to have to talk to my mother about this.”

  If Joy’s nerves weren’t already shot over the idea of having to act in more scenes, sitting down with the small group of cast and crew for their first Bible study did the trick.

  As soon as lunch was over and all the Amish women had gone, the group sat around a long plastic table someone had set up just outside the dressing room. Alicia, Georgia, and Kristen were there, in addition to some of the crew. Kristen sat down next to Alicia and then turned to her. “Oh, I hope this chair was open. You’re not saving it for Rowan, are you?”

  “No, Rowan’s not coming. He’s sitting outside today eating his lunch. I invited him, but he said he wasn’t interested.”

  “Wasn’t interested?” The cameraman, Steve, shook his head. “Rowan told me he became a Christian. I’ve even seen him reading his Bible a few times when I get here before everyone else.”

  “He’s changed,” one of the grips commented. “I’ve worked with him on other jobs, and he’s a lot different.”

  “I think it’s me,” Alicia stated bluntly. “If I wasn’t here, he would be.”

  Joy ran her finger over the cover of her Bible. “I don’t know if that’s true. Maybe he just…” She tried to think of an excuse, but there wasn’t one.

  “He’s been colder to me lately. Ever since I mentioned the idea of a Bible study.” Alicia opened the Bible in front of her—the one she’d taken from the nightstand in her hotel—and thumbed through it. “I’m sure he thinks this isn’t for real. That I’m just trying to get his attention.”

  “It’s his loss then.” Kristen patted Alicia’s hand. “We know you’re not doing this just to impress him.”

  The others around the table nodded, but Joy didn’t quite understand. What she did understand was that the others were waiting for her to start the Bible study. Without hesitating, she opened her Bible to Psalms.

  “One psalm has meant a lot to me. Psalm 86. The psalms are actually songs, most of them written about twenty-five hundred years ago. Many were written by a man named David, and others were written by men whose names have been lost in time.”

  “Well, that sucks. Writing a great song that stands the test of time and no one remembers your name,” Steven said.

  “You shouldn’t use the word sucks at a Bible study,” Kristen chided as she fiddled with one of the bobby pins keeping her bun in place.

  “This is a Bible study?” asked another of the grips. “I just thought we were getting more pie.” He took a piece from the pie on the table in front of Joy.

  “You get both.” Joy met his eyes with a pleased smile. “Pie… and we’re going to talk about God and the Bible. I don’t think we need to use the term study.”

  “Yeah, it sounds like something old church ladies do, and Alicia is as far as you can get from an old church lady.” Steven chuckled.

  Surprisingly, Alicia ignored the comment and instead handed her Bible to Joy. “Can you find it for me? I’m not sure where to look.”

  “Sure. The Bible has sixty-six books—sort of like chapters—and Psalms is in the first part, which is called the Old Testament.” Joy glanced around, and saw that she was losing her audience. “But the easiest way to find Psalms without looking at the table of contents is with this trick.” She placed the Bible on the table in front of her. She stood it on its spine and placed her finger in the middle. And then she let the Bible fall open, half on either side. “This is Psalm 35. If we just flip a few more chapters later, we’ll get to Psalm 86. Here, let me read the first verse: ‘Bow down thine ear, O Lord, hear me: for I am poor and needy.’ What do you think that means?”

  “Bow down your ear?” one man asked. “Sounds like this David dude was asking God to lean down to listen to him.”

  Joy couldn’t help but smile. She tried to imagine one of their ministers saying dude, but she couldn’t. “Yes, that’s wonderful. What else?”

  Alicia leaned over her Bible, studying the words. “It says he was poor and needy, so he must be an ordinary person—not rich or anything.”

  “Maybe he’s even homeless,” Georgia commented.

  “Do you think so?” Kristen scowled. “How would we still have his words? Homeless people didn’t read and write back then. Maybe he just thought he was poor.”

  The way they were listening and interacting brought a surge of happiness to Joy. “Actually, David was a king. He had a palace made of gold, silver, and expensive wood. It just goes to show that it doesn’t really matter what you have. You have nothing if you don’t have God.”

  The conversation continued. Many commented about some of the richest people they knew who were miserable.

  “A couple of the best actors I’ve worked with have committed suicide,” Alicia said softly. Then she looked away.

  An uneasy feeling settled in Joy’s gut, and she dared to speak what everyone was thinking. “I imagine someone around this table has considered suicide, but I hope all of us know that is never the answer. The true answer is doing what David did. He turned to God. Finding hope is understanding our own need, understanding that even if we have everything, without God we have nothing. It’s asking God to bow down and listen to us. And it’s feeling free to say what we need to say to Him without being afraid.”

  No one around the table spoke, but she could tell they were considering her words.

  They read the rest of the psalm, and when they were finished Alicia rose and left the table without a comment.

  “What’s got into her?” Kristen asked, watching her go.

  Steven scratched his head. “Maybe she’s still upset about Rowan.”

  “Or maybe she’s thinking about a friend who committed suicide.”

  Joy nodded. “Reading God’s Word has a way of digging up stuff. God’s Word is often called a light, and sometimes when light shines into places that have been dark awhile, it’s hard to face what’s hidden there.”