“Really?” she asked.

  Sam was paying close attention but not saying a word. I winked at him and said, “If you want to go to Hawaii, I’ll have the jet fueled.”

  Clarissa tilted her head. “Did I hear your brother is planning a Hawaiian wedding?”

  With twelve sons in the family, quite a few with wives, it was getting hard to keep track of who was doing what, but I nodded. Weddings were in season with my family, and there was a schedule. “Cyrus and Rachel are getting married in Hawaii at Christmas. Gerard and Ali are planning next June, though where is still to be announced.”

  She took a few bites of her food and sighed. “That’s amazing.”

  “Maddie and Arman’s ceremony is next week. They pushed it back as there were problems getting the venue she’d wanted.” I’d already told Arman to make sure Clarissa and Sam were seated at a table with me, and he’d said not to worry.

  She stopped eating. “I thought they were already married.”

  I shook my head. “They wanted time to plan a Manhattan affair, and she wanted time to finish planning the wedding for Joel and his wife.”

  Clarissa smiled. “Kendal's her name. She seems nice. She told me Maddie was now a wedding planner.”

  It sounded as though Clarissa had spent time talking to the women in the family while we'd been in Virgin Cove. I only wished she knew how perfectly she fit in. “That’s why they waited to get married. Maddie wanted to focus on ensuring the best for the family.”

  I folded my hands, wondering how much Clarissa and Maddie had spoken. Clarissa had said they’d been friends in the past. Yesterday was a blur as all I could think about was her kiss. I cut my eggs. “Did you talk to her much yesterday?”

  “We waved.” She picked up her silverware. “We said hi but didn't really talk. We’re texting to catch up.”

  All I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss her and hold my family close.

  “I was looking at parks and festivals Sam might like, and we can invite Maddie and your brother over if you like.”

  I quickly started typing out a text to my brother. “I'm texting to ask him.”

  “Aurora was pretty funny,” Sam said.

  Clarissa glanced at Sam’s plate. “Eat some more breakfast, sweetie. There will be more later.”

  He nodded and took another bite. However, the glances they gave each other caused my stomach to twist. My instincts said they’d gone without eating in the past. I held that thought to myself and read the text Arman had sent back in response to mine. I put my phone back in my pocket. “So they’re coming after they finish breakfast.”

  Her eyes widened. “Today?”

  I shrugged. The staff would set everything up for whatever we decided to do. “Why not? It’s Sunday, and unlike us, Arman is still actively building his business, so he’ll be focused Monday morning.” I asked our son, “Anything you want to do with Aurora?”

  He took out his cracked phone. I’d replace that today, too, and also ensure Clarissa had the latest update.

  Sam finished his breakfast. “There is some sort of apple festival nearby. Aurora and I googled it yesterday, so we can check it out.”

  “Sounds perfect.” I nodded.

  Clarissa’s lips were thin as she stared at both of us.

  I put my phone away and wondered if she wanted to institute a rule about phones at the table. Growing up, my parents had one. I tucked mine back in my pocket.

  Sam said, “And in the summer, there is a renaissance faire.”

  Clarissa nodded and cut her food. “Got it.”

  As we finished our breakfasts, I focused on Sam. He mattered and hopefully would take my mind off his mother. “Do you like fantasy stuff, Sam?”

  He shrugged, finished the last bite of food, and wiped his face. Then he smiled. “I like how people get messy.”

  Right. I needed to know more about him. I sipped my tea and asked, “So what’s your favorite game?”

  He tilted his head. “Right now, football.”

  I was glad he liked sports. By the sound of it, he enjoyed more than one sport. We went to the Super Bowl as a family almost every year..

  Clarissa said, “I had him signed up for a few sports I could afford before…”

  “It’s okay.” Now Sam and I had a bonding activity. “We can find out when all the various leagues start, and Sam can join whatever he wants.”

  Sam pushed his chair back. “Mom, I'll go finish my homework so you don’t bug me later.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “You didn’t finish the other night?”

  He shrugged. “I left a few assignments, like math.”

  My father was a financial genius. Many of my brothers worked on Wall Street. I swallowed. “Why did you skip the math?”

  He stood. “Because it’s easy. It’s the other stuff that’s hard.”

  “If you need help, just ask,” I said.

  Clarissa froze, and in that moment, I couldn’t read her.

  Sam left, and I quickly finished my tea. As I gazed at Clarissa, I wanted to kiss her and thank her for everything she’d given me. We listened to Sam’s footsteps as he went upstairs, then I asked, “Can we talk?”

  She finished her drink and nodded but avoided my gaze as she stood. “Let’s go in the library and close the door.”

  She walked stiffly, like she was heading for her own execution. When we were inside the library, I said, “So, last night—”

  "Let's not talk about it." She faced the window.

  I tucked my hands in my pockets. “You were in my dreams last night.”

  She faced me and blushed. “I… okay, we can talk. No one has ever kissed me like you do.”

  Her innocent and sweet answer struck me. I came beside her. “I’m trying hard not to push you.”

  She sucked on her bottom lip. “I don’t mean to upset you, Elon.”

  I wanted to bury myself inside her. The reaction was hard and fast, but I held back. “You’re not. I’m going to wait for whatever you want to happen between us.”

  Tears formed in her eyes. “I don’t know what I want.”

  I went to hug her and tell her everything was okay, but the second I touched her, sparks ignited inside me. It wasn’t just physical. The need to have her was overwhelming and intense.

  She pressed her lips to mine, and I held her.

  Last night, our kiss had been shocking, but now I was full of desire.

  And having her body against mine set me off.

  She met my gaze between kisses and moved my hand. For one second, I thought she’d break our connection, but she lifted her T-shirt and had me cup her breast.

  Fuck. The ache inside me grew. She was perfect, and I somehow needed to get myself under control to ensure I only did as she wanted.

  She tugged at her shirt, and I helped her get it off.

  Her kisses grew hotter as she unfastened her bra. Adrenaline raced through me, and then I saw those pink nipples of hers.

  They seemed bigger, and I knew immediately that she’d breastfed Sam.

  I’d wished I’d seen that. I traced her nipples with a finger, and they puckered beautifully. A rush of desire raced through me, and I leaned down to taste her. She curled her fingers in my short hair and said, “Yes.”

  My heart whispered that she was into this. I reached down to her pants, and she unzipped them, letting them fall to the floor.

  The only barriers we had were her panties—and me wanting her to be entirely satisfied.

  My heart pounded as my fingers dipped under her cotton briefs and found her folds.

  I needed my cock to be inside her, but I had to test her first. My fingers easily slipped inside her, and she moaned. I moved my fingers quickly, and she said, “Please.”

  Like this, she was still the prettiest woman I’d ever seen. She sighed and then her eyes rolled back while she had an orgasm, and we clutched each other.

  Sam suddenly called out, loud enough that we could hear him through the house and closed doors. “Mom, can you come here?”

  Letting her go physically hurt, so I backed away to get myself under control.

  She grabbed her clothes and tugged them on. “We should go see what Sam needs.”

  I nodded but refused to say a word. I needed more time to get under control.

  She hugged herself, stared at me, and her face went white. I blinked as I wondered if she understood I was still ready to explode, but then she left the room.

  We’d find time to be together later, but taking her right here, right now, hadn't been right. I needed to ensure she was treated the way she deserved to be treated.

  17

  Clarissa

  When we’d come to live with Elon, I’d sworn I was here to ensure Sam had everything he’d ever need. This morning his nightmare about Hunter had floored me. I’d wanted to bond Elon and Sam and banish that ghost forever. I recoiled on every step as I walked up the stairs. Instead of focusing on the most important person in my life, I’d kissed Elon.

  Then I fucking stripped, like I was offering myself to him.

  I wasn’t sure what was happening or how I'd let myself chase after him like I was in heat.

  I winced at the thought. Hunter had called me a "naughty whore." I’d told him to stop, not that he ever listened.

  Yet here I was with Elon, who’d clearly turned out to be a decent man, and I was acting exactly like what Hunter had said I was. Heat coursed through me. I’d stripped for him, and in the end we… hadn’t…. I couldn’t even finish the thought. All my reasons for being here were clearly lies I'd told myself.

  And I'd set myself up for serious heartache since Elon would realize I was completely unlovable and entirely forgettable.

  My heart raced. The thought left me cold and achy. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to leave either Elon or Sam.

  As though he knew I was in trouble, Sam threw open his bedroom door and stared at me.

  I wasn’t sure what he'd seen or how much he knew. I fought to keep myself from frowning and forced a smile. “What’s going on, Sam?”

  He wasn’t even blinking. “I finished my homework and I want a snack. When will Aurora be here?”

  I pressed my hand to my chest and tried to calm down. “We’ll have to ask Elon, and the kitchen is downstairs. You have two feet.”

  “I want to know how to call the staff to get anything I want.” He glanced into the hall and looked both ways. “Where is he?”

  “Downstairs.” My mind raced. I never wanted Sam to think Elon was anything like Hunter. I bounced on my feet. “He… needed to use the restroom.”

  He came toward me. “Mom, are you okay?”

  I backed up until I hit a wall. I swallowed. “I need to shower and get ready for company. You should do the same.”

  He asked, “Do we have horses nearby?”

  I took a deep breath. I hoped my thoughts weren’t written on my forehead or something crazy like that. I shrugged. “I… don’t think so, but honestly, I don’t know.”

  “I’ll find Dad and ask him.” He turned to go. I inched closer to my room, but he called back from the top of the stairs. “Mom…”

  I stood taller at my door. “What?”

  He laughed. “Incoming.”

  I clutched the doorframe. A maid appeared with a gift box on a tray. I took it, and Sam came toward me.

  I held up the blue box and blinked. “What’s this?”

  “A present,” he said. "Open it!"

  I laughed, opened my door, and went into the bedroom as I unwrapped it. I gazed into the box. “It’s the tiara.”

  Sam stared at me. “What?”

  I took it out of the box and showed him. “Your father said he’d get this for me because I needed to feel like a princess.”

  His grin was infectious as he laughed. “Wear it, Mom.”

  “I don’t know,” I said, though Elon had been supersweet to buy me the gift, even if it was way too expensive and straddled the line of trying to buy my love. On the other hand, he'd stopped and not taken advantage of me when Sam had called for me.

  Leaving Elon and Sam would be impossible. I hugged Sam.

  “You like Elon," Sam said. "I like him too, and he bought it for you.”

  “It’s not normal to wear a diamond tiara.” I stood. I wondered if maybe Elon was perfect because he had wonderful parents and a great family.

  My heart twisted. Sam placed the tiara on my head. “It is for you… you like being a princess, Mom.”

  The lies I'd told myself about being fancy and a princess were all just dreams. I took off the tiara and placed it back in the box. “Okay, I’ll need to go talk to him after I take my shower.”

  “Don’t ruin our new family,” Sam said near the door.

  I turned, faced him, and wished I knew what to do. “Sam, we need to be realistic, but I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Shower first. You’ll feel better.” He walked out.

  I called out, “Okay, you’re right.”

  I locked myself in the bathroom. I needed to get myself together, make a rational plan, and stay the course.

  Elon and I weren’t meant to be. He’d eventually replace me entirely. As the water hit my skin, I closed my eyes and muttered to myself, “Now is the time to say goodbye.”

  First, I had to somehow figure out how to tell Elon I was leaving in a way he’d understand. It was on Elon to be the better parent as I'd failed at everything I'd ever tried. I'd even let Sam get mistreated. From here on out, I needed to not think about myself until this was all straightened out.

  18

  Clarissa

  I ignored the tiara on my bed as I dressed in gray slacks and a simple white T-shirt. I wasn’t sure when we’d go to the apple festival, but the late-summer heat wasn’t for nice blouses. When I was through dressing, I decided to place the tiara in the closet as there was no safe in the room.

  I needed to go and talk to Elon. We needed to be on the same page. He had to be made to understand why eventually he’d take over parenting Sam. I had to explain it right.

  I muttered a small prayer for the right words as I headed downstairs.

  Sam was in the backyard and seemed happy. I found Elon in his office, pacing. My brow furrowed. “Elon, what’s going on?”

  He waved for me to come into his office and took out a laptop. He opened it. “Can you make decisions for the benefit party as I double-check a medical plan?”

  Okay. Working would keep me honest, so I wouldn't just be sponging off his cash and accepting diamonds. “Of course.”

  He took out a box containing a phone. “I had your number moved to this phone.”

  It was the newest model. I took it out of the box, thinking maybe he needed me to make calls for the benefit. “Can I ask what the theme is of the benefit?”

  He sat at his desk, and I took a seat across from him. “Theme?” he asked.

  I folded my hands. It wasn’t my benefit. It was his. Maddie had given me some questions to ask Elon so she could discern what he wanted. “Your mother usually decided these things based on the theme she’d chosen.”

  His jaw tightened. “I told Maddie to make those choices.”

  Yet it wasn’t her party. She could make the plans, but he needed to be satisfied with her choices. I sat back and took a different approach. “Okay. I’ll talk to her, but can I ask what was your favorite of your mother’s parties?”

  His lips curled like I’d asked him to finish his vegetables. “None of them.”

  When we'd been children, his mother had hosted almost twice-weekly affairs. For most of them, I remembered sitting on the sidelines and imagining the parties were creations from my favorite cartoons. I blinked. “There has to be one.”

  “Hmm…” He met my gaze. He had a twinkle in his eyes, and I forgot where we were. Then he snapped his fingers. “The one where you wore that white dress, and I realized you had breasts that stuck out.”

  I laughed. I'd been fourteen and awkward, but that was the night I’d realized Elon was the most relatable Norouzi as he’d held my hand and hadn't applied any pressure or treated me as just the servants' kid. I'd felt safe. “That was your mother's all-white party. So we’ll pick that one.”

  “Sounds fine.”

  “I'll get to work then.” I set off to answer Maddie’s questions through email.

  “Done.” I set my phone down.

  “We’ll see Maddie in less than an hour," Elon pointed out. "You can talk about the benefit in person too.”

  “I’d rather focus on fun than work when they arrive.” I flinched the second the words came out of my mouth, but he didn't seem to notice that I didn't agree with his suggestion.

  He folded his hands on the desk between us. “So, about what happened—“

  I interrupted him. “Let’s focus on ensuring the house and staff know company is coming.”

  He sat up straighter. “Clarissa.”

  My heart thundered. I needed to stop living in fear of rejection. My mess wasn’t his to fix. I swallowed, stared at the ceiling, and said, “Okay, I don’t know what I want or what’s best for everyone. Today, let’s focus on our guests and the apple festival.”

  “I’d rather talk about last night.”

  “I’m not ready. I need time.”

  He stood. “Okay. I’ll go change, so we can be ready to go when they arrive.”

  Breath returned to my chest. It was a warm fall day, although soon Sam would experience cold winter weather for the first time. This was the start of a new life for him. “I’ll tell the staff our plans . See you in a few minutes.”

  He placed his hands in his pockets. “Clarissa...”

  “Yeah?”

  He gazed down at me, and my lips tingled. “You call all the shots, but please try to clue me in. I need you talking to me.”

  “Okay. I’m trying.”

  He left me, but I was aching with longing to repeat what had happened in the library that morning.

  I closed my eyes and tried to center myself. I was an absolute disaster and had zero clue on how to proceed with anything.

  I'd never been good at normalcy.