And formless ruin of oblivion,

  But in this extant184 moment, faith and troth,

  Strained purely185 from all hollow bias-drawing,

  Bids thee, with most divine integrity,

  From heart187 of very heart, great Hector, welcome.

  HECTOR I thank thee, most imperious188 Agamemnon.

  AGAMEMNON My well-famed lord of Troy, no less to you.

  To Troilus

  MENELAUS Let me confirm my princely brother’s greeting:

  You brace191 of warlike brothers, welcome hither.

  HECTOR Who must we answer?192

  AENEAS The noble Menelaus.

  HECTOR O, you, my lord? By Mars his gauntlet194, thanks!

  Mock not, that I affect195 th’untraded oath:

  Your quondam196 wife swears still by Venus’ glove.

  She’s well, but bade me not197 commend her to you.

  MENELAUS Name her not now, sir: she’s a deadly theme198.

  HECTOR O, pardon: I offend.

  NESTOR I have, thou gallant Trojan, seen thee oft,

  Labouring for destiny201, make cruel way

  Through ranks of Greekish youth, and I have seen thee,

  As hot203 as Perseus, spur thy Phrygian steed,

  And seen thee scorning forfeits and subduements204,

  When thou hast hung205 thy advancèd sword i’th’air,

  Not letting it decline on the declined206,

  That207 I have said unto my standers-by,

  ‘Lo, Jupiter is yonder, dealing life!’

  And I have seen thee pause and take thy breath,

  When that a ring of Greeks have hemmed thee in,

  Like an Olympian211 wrestling. This have I seen,

  But this thy countenance, still212 locked in steel,

  I never saw till now. I knew thy grandsire,

  And once fought with him: he was a soldier good,

  But, by great Mars, the captain of us all,

  Never like thee. Let an old man embrace thee,

  And, worthy warrior, welcome to our tents.

  AENEAS ’Tis the old Nestor.

  HECTOR Let me embrace thee, good old chronicle219,

  That hast so long walked hand in hand with time:

  Most reverend Nestor, I am glad to clasp221 thee.

  NESTOR I would my arms222 could match thee in contention,

  As they contend223 with thee in courtesy.

  HECTOR I would they could.

  NESTOR Ha?

  By this white beard, I’d fight with thee tomorrow.

  Well, welcome, welcome! I have seen the time227.

  ULYSSES I wonder now how yonder city stands

  When we have here her base and pillar229 by us.

  HECTOR I know your favour230, Lord Ulysses, well.

  Ah, sir, there’s many a Greek and Trojan dead,

  Since first I saw yourself and Diomed

  In Ilium, on your Greekish embassy233.

  ULYSSES Sir, I foretold you then what would ensue:

  My prophecy is but half his journey yet235;

  For yonder walls, that pertly236 front your town,

  Yond towers, whose wanton237 tops do buss the clouds,

  Must kiss their own feet.

  HECTOR I must not believe you:

  There they stand yet, and modestly240 I think,

  The fall of every Phrygian241 stone will cost

  A drop of Grecian blood: the end crowns all242,

  And that old common arbitrator243, Time,

  Will one day end it.

  ULYSSES So to him245 we leave it.

  Most gentle and most valiant Hector, welcome:

  After the general, I beseech you next

  To feast with me and see me at my tent.

  ACHILLES I shall forestall249 thee, Lord Ulysses, thou!

  Now, Hector, I have fed mine eyes on thee,

  I have with exact251 view perused thee, Hector,

  And quoted252 joint by joint.

  HECTOR Is this Achilles?

  ACHILLES I am Achilles.

  HECTOR Stand fair255, I prithee: let me look on thee.

  ACHILLES Behold thy fill.

  HECTOR Nay, I have done already.

  ACHILLES Thou art too brief: I will the second time,

  As259 I would buy thee, view thee limb by limb.

  HECTOR O, like a book of sport260 thou’lt read me o’er:

  But there’s more in me than thou understand’st.

  Why dost thou so oppress262 me with thine eye?

  ACHILLES Tell me, you heavens, in which part of his body

  Shall I destroy him? Whether there, or there, or there.

  Points

  That I may give the local265 wound a name

  And make distinct266 the very breach whereout

  Hector’s great spirit267 flew. Answer me, heavens!

  HECTOR It would discredit the blest gods, proud man,

  To answer such a question. Stand again269;

  Think’st thou to catch270 my life so pleasantly

  As to prenominate271 in nice conjecture

  Where thou wilt hit me dead?

  ACHILLES I tell thee, yea.

  HECTOR Wert thou the oracle to tell me so,

  I’d not believe thee. Henceforth guard thee well,

  For I’ll not kill thee there, nor there, nor there,

  But, by the forge that stithied Mars his helm277,

  I’ll kill thee everywhere, yea, o’er and o’er.

  You wisest Grecians, pardon me this brag:

  His insolence draws folly from my lips,

  But I’ll endeavour deeds to match these words,

  Or may I never—

  AJAX Do not chafe thee283, cousin:

  And you, Achilles, let these threats alone,

  Till accident285 or purpose bring you to’t.

  You may every day enough of Hector

  If you have stomach287. The general state, I fear,

  Can scarce entreat288 you to be odd with him.

  HECTOR I pray you let us see you in the field:

  We have had pelting290 wars, since you refused

  The Grecians’ cause.

  ACHILLES Dost thou entreat me, Hector?

  Tomorrow do I meet thee, fell293 as death:

  Tonight all friends.

  HECTOR Thy hand upon that match295.

  AGAMEMNON First, all you peers296 of Greece, go to my tent:

  There in297 the full convive you. Afterwards,

  As Hector’s leisure and your bounties298 shall

  Concur together, severally299 entreat him.

  Beat loud the taborins300, let the trumpets blow,

  That this great soldier may his welcome know.

  Exeunt. [Troilus and Ulysses remain]

  TROILUS My lord Ulysses, tell me, I beseech you,

  In what place of the field doth Calchas keep303?

  ULYSSES At Menelaus’ tent, most princely Troilus:

  There Diomed doth feast with him tonight,

  Who neither looks on heaven nor on earth,

  But gives all gaze and bent307 of amorous view

  On the fair Cressid.

  TROILUS Shall I, sweet lord, be bound309 to thee so much,

  After we part from Agamemnon’s tent,

  To bring me thither?

  ULYSSES You shall command me, sir.

  As gentle313 tell me, of what honour was

  This Cressida in Troy? Had she no lover there

  That wails her absence?

  TROILUS O, sir, to such as316 boasting show their scars

  A mock317 is due. Will you walk on, my lord?

  She was beloved, she loved; she is, and doth318:

  But still319 sweet love is food for fortune’s tooth.

  Exeunt

  [Act 5 Scene 1]

  running scene 14

  Location: the Greek camp

  Enter Achilles and Patroclus

  ACHILLES I’ll heat his blood with Greekish wine tonight,

  Which with my scimitar2 I’ll cool tomorrow.

  Patroclus, let us feast him to the height.

  PATROCLUS Here comes Thersites.

  Enter Thersites

  ACHILLES How now, thou core5 of envy!

  Thou crusty6 batch of nature, what’s the news?

  THERSITES Why, thou picture7 of what thou seem’st, and

  idol of idiot worshippers, here’s a letter for thee.

  Gives a letter

  ACHILLES From whence, fragment9?

  THERSITES Why, thou full dish of fool10, from Troy.

  PATROCLUS Who keeps the tent11 now?

  THERSITES The surgeon’s box12 or the patient’s wound.

  PATROCLUS Well said, adversity13, and what need these tricks?

  THERSITES Prithee be silent, boy: I profit not by thy talk: thou

  art thought to be Achilles’ male varlet15.

  PATROCLUS Male varlet, you rogue? What’s that?

  THERSITES Why, his masculine whore. Now, the rotten diseases

  of the south17, guts-griping18, ruptures, catarrhs, loads o’gravel

  i’th’back, lethargies, cold palsies19 and the like, take and take

  again such preposterous discoveries20.

  PATROCLUS Why thou damnable box21 of envy, thou, what

  mean’st thou to curse thus?

  THERSITES Do I curse thee?

  PATROCLUS Why no, you ruinous24 butt, you whoreson

  indistinguishable25 cur.

  THERSITES No? Why art thou then exasperate26, thou idle

  immaterial27 skein of sleaved silk, thou green sarcenet flap for

  a sore eye, thou tassel28 of a prodigal’s purse, thou? Ah, how

  the poor world is pestered29 with such waterflies, diminutives

  of nature!

  PATROCLUS Out31, gall!

  THERSITES Finch-egg!32

  ACHILLES My sweet Patroclus, I am thwarted quite

  From my great purpose in tomorrow’s battle.

  Here is a letter from Queen Hecuba,

  A token from her daughter, my fair love36,

  Both taxing37 me and gaging me to keep

  An oath that I have sworn. I will not break it:

  Fall Greeks39, fail fame, honour or go or stay,

  My major vow lies here, this I’ll obey.

  Come, come, Thersites, help to trim41 my tent:

  This night in banqueting must all be spent.

  Away, Patroclus!

  Exeunt [Achilles and Patroclus]

  THERSITES With too much blood44 and too little brain, these two

  may run mad: but if with too much brain and too little blood

  they do, I’ll be a curer of madmen. Here’s Agamemnon, an

  honest fellow47 enough and one that loves quails, but he has

  not so much brain as earwax; and the goodly transformation

  of Jupiter there, his brother, the bull49 — the primitive statue

  and oblique memorial50 of cuckolds, a thrifty shoeing-horn in

  a chain, hanging at his brother’s leg51 — to what form but that

  he is should wit52 larded with malice and malice forced with

  wit turn him to53? To an ass, were nothing: he is both ass and

  ox. To an ox, were nothing: he is both ox and ass. To be a dog,

  a mule, a cat, a fitchew55, a toad, a lizard, an owl, a puttock, or

  a herring without a roe, I would not care: but to be56

  Menelaus, I would conspire against destiny. Ask me not what

  I would be if I were not Thersites, for I care not to be58 the louse

  of a lazar59, so I were not Menelaus. Hoy-day, spirits and fires!

  Enter Hector, Ajax, Agamemnon, Ulysses, Nestor, Diomedes, [Troilus and Menelaus,] with lights

  AGAMEMNON We go wrong, we go wrong.

  AJAX No, yonder ’tis: there, where we see the light.

  HECTOR I trouble you.

  AJAX No, not a whit.

  Enter Achilles

  ULYSSES Here comes himself to guide you.

  ACHILLES Welcome, brave Hector. Welcome, princes all.

  AGAMEMNON So now, fair prince of Troy, I bid goodnight.

  Ajax commands the guard to tend on67 you.

  HECTOR Thanks and goodnight to the Greeks’ general.

  MENELAUS Goodnight, my lord.

  HECTOR Goodnight, sweet lord Menelaus.

  THERSITES Sweet draught71. ‘Sweet’ quoth a? Sweet sink, sweet sewer.

  Aside

  ACHILLES Goodnight and welcome, both at once, to those

  That go or tarry.

  AGAMEMNON Goodnight.

  [Exeunt Agamemnon and Menelaus]

  ACHILLES Old Nestor tarries, and you too, Diomed,

  Keep Hector company an hour or two.

  DIOMEDES I cannot, lord. I have important business,

  The tide whereof78 is now.— Goodnight, great Hector.

  HECTOR Give me your hand.

  ULYSSES Follow his torch; he goes to Calchas’ tent:

  Aside to Troilus

  I’ll keep you company.

  TROILUS Sweet sir, you honour me.

  HECTOR And so, goodnight.

  [Exit Diomedes, with Ulysses and Troilus following]

  ACHILLES Come, come, enter my tent.

  Exeunt [Achilles, Hector, Ajax and Nestor]

  THERSITES That same Diomed’s a false-hearted rogue, a most

  unjust86 knave; I will no more trust him when he leers than I

  will a serpent when he hisses: he will spend his mouth87 and

  promise like Brabbler88 the hound; but when he performs,

  astronomers foretell it89: that it is prodigious, there will come

  some change. The sun borrows of90 the moon when Diomed

  keeps his word. I will rather leave to see91 Hector than not to

  dog him92. They say he keeps a Trojan drab, and uses the

  traitor Calchas his tent. I’ll after. Nothing but lechery! All

  incontinent94 varlets!

  Exit

  [Act 5 Scene 2]

  running scene 15

  Location: the Greek camp (outside Calchas’ tent)

  Enter Diomedes

  DIOMEDES What, are you up here, ho? Speak.

  CALCHAS Who calls?

  Within

  DIOMEDES Calchas, I think. Where’s your daughter?

  CALCHAS She comes to you.

  Within

  Enter Troilus and Ulysses [at a distance, with Thersites following]

  Troilus and Ulysses speak aside throughout the scene

  ULYSSES Stand where the torch may not discover5 us.

  Enter Cressida

  TROILUS Cressid comes forth to him.

  DIOMEDES How now, my charge7?

  CRESSIDA Now, my sweet guardian! Hark, a word with you.

  They whisper

  TROILUS Yea, so familiar?

  ULYSSES She will sing any man at first sight10.

  THERSITES And any man may sing her, if he can take

  her clef11: she’s noted12.

  Aside

  DIOMEDES Will you remember?

  CRESSIDA Remember? Yes.

  DIOMEDES Nay, but do, then;

  And let your mind be coupled with your words.

  TROILUS What should she remember?

  ULYSSES List!18

  CRESSIDA Sweet honey Greek, tempt me no more to folly19.

  THERSITES Roguery!

  DIOMEDES Nay, then—

  CRESSIDA I’ll tell you what—

  DIOMEDES Foh, foh! Come, tell a pin23: you are a forsworn – – – –.

  CRESSIDA In faith, I cannot. What would you have me do?

  THERSITES A juggling trick25 — to be secretly open.

  Aside

  DIOMEDES What did you swear you would bestow on me?

  CRESSIDA I prithee do not hold me to mine oath:

  Bid me do anything but that, sweet Greek.

  DIOMEDES Goodnight.

  TROILUS Hold, patience!

  ULYSSES How now, Trojan?

  CRESSIDA Diomed—

  DIOMEDES No, no, goodnight: I’ll be your fool33 no more.

  TROILUS Thy better34 must.

  CRESSIDA Hark, one word in your ear.

  TROILUS O, plague and madness!

  ULYSSES You are moved37, prince. Let us depart, I pray you,

  Lest your displeasure should enlarge itself

  To wrathful terms39: this place is dangerous;

  The time right deadly. I beseech you go.

  TROILUS Behold, I pray you!

  ULYSSES Nay, good my lord, go off42:

  You flow to great distraction43. Come, my lord!

  TROILUS I pray thee, stay.

  ULYSSES You have not patience. Come.

  TROILUS I pray you, stay. By hell and hell-torments

  I will not speak a word!

  DIOMEDES And so, goodnight.

  CRESSIDA Nay, but you part in anger.

  TROILUS Doth that grieve50 thee? O withered truth!

  ULYSSES Why, how now, lord?

  TROILUS By Jove, I will be patient.

  CRESSIDA Guardian! Why, Greek!

  DIOMEDES Foh, foh! Adieu: you palter54.

  CRESSIDA In faith, I do not: come hither once again.

  ULYSSES You shake, my lord, at something; will you go?

  You will break out57.

  TROILUS She strokes his cheek!

  ULYSSES Come, come.

  TROILUS Nay, stay. By Jove, I will not speak a word:

  There is between my will61 and all offences

  A guard of patience; stay a little while.

  THERSITES How the devil Luxury63, with his fat rump

  Aside

  and potato-finger64, tickles these together! Fry, lechery, fry!

  DIOMEDES But will you, then?

  CRESSIDA In faith, I will, lo66! Never trust me else.

  DIOMEDES Give me some token67 for the surety of it.

  CRESSIDA I’ll fetch you one.

  Exit

  ULYSSES You have sworn patience.

  TROILUS Fear me not, sweet lord.

  I will not be myself71, nor have cognition

  Of what I feel: I am all patience.

  Enter Cressida [with Troilus’ sleeve]

  THERSITES Now the pledge: now, now, now!

  CRESSIDA Here, Diomed, keep this sleeve.

  She may give him the sleeve

  TROILUS O beauty! Where is thy faith?

  ULYSSES My lord—

  TROILUS I will be patient: outwardly I will.

  CRESSIDA You look upon that sleeve? Behold it well.

  He loved me — O false wench! — Give’t me again.

  DIOMEDES Whose was’t?

  She may take back the sleeve

  CRESSIDA It is no matter, now I have’t again.

  I will not meet with you tomorrow night: