Arrogance was not a trait I would have expected from the general I had known as a child. It needed to be checked. “Hiding children away while tormenting their friends?”

  Nor was I sure I would refer to myself as stable.

  Smirking, not at all rebuked, he growled lowly, “The practice of patience, my darling. The study of technique to help draw out a young virgin. I know how to stimulate every last nerve in your body, and you do enjoy my hands on you. Some of it, perhaps, is intuitive, but the greater study taught me how to do this.”

  Dropping my arm, his fingers tripped up my spine, then dug in just enough that tension fell right out of my shoulders.

  A hum of noise fell from my lips. “It’s unfair that you know how to make my body do that.”

  With a dark chuckle, he said, “You are welcome to practice on me anytime you wish.”

  “You practiced on someone?” Voice shrill, my tension rushed right back. All of it and then some as I glared wide-eyed at my mate.

  And then I caught myself.

  My kneejerk reaction had been unexpected for both of us, Cyderial quick to say, “Do you honestly think a man as devoted as I am could ever touch another woman? I have loved you with every beat of my hearts since I was born.” Utterly serious, he frowned. “Every choice I have made in my life has been with my mate in mind. Even in my academy years, I never crept around in the dark.”

  I didn’t owe him any apologies, but the way he looked at me incited a streak of regret for things done in my youth. Things I had done because I was driven to them by this man.

  “What were you like when you graduated?” I could hardly imagine him as anything other than he was now. A terrifying force of nature.

  His fingers went back to working on my spine, the man thoughtful. “Spoiling for a fight. I know you won’t believe me, but the academy was much worse in my youth. Humans still controlled the inner workings; they conducted experiments on the recruits. It was difficult to survive. Once deemed suitable for service, I left that place and entered my name as a combatant for the arena. My frustrations with life were worked out on the sands. Over decades, I achieved rank enough to access the list, but no hybrid female sung for me. Human females, on the other hand, sought my attentions and earned my disgust. Composure and patience have been learned traits.”

  It was hard to imagine. “You’ve always been so cold-blooded that it’s hard to envision you differently.”

  Something dark shone from the back of his gaze. “I have always been cold-blooded, but I have not always been forbearing. It is best that you did not know me when I was younger. Things would have been much more difficult for you.”

  Chilled, I looked away from the male and back at the courtyard. We had been noticed in our private moments; all eyes observed every movement we made. “You have properly chastised me. You win.”

  My chin was caught, Cyderial turning my gaze to claim all my attention. “I thank God that I was forced to wait for you. I know you think me a brute, but I swear to you, I am not what I was. Young men are not equipped to handle their urges. They should not be entrusted with females. You are a living example of what is possible when a man learns control. Not one mated male here would have been capable of releasing his female from her nest so soon. Miranda’s ten years were not an exception. I am taking a great risk in showing the world what may be possible. Please do not make me regret it.”

  He looked so earnest, a flash of desperation in his eyes, that I grew unnaturally shy. “I… suppose I should say thank you.”

  Smirking, he seemed pleased with my response. “You’re welcome.”

  With that, he ushered us forward out of the shadows.

  Every step I took in that dress accentuated the swell of my belly. Though other women at the courtyard were similarly engorged, I was intensely uncomfortable to have their eyes on me. My goals in life had revolved around keeping my nose down, hoping I might be ignored. Now, I was the center of attention.

  Even the music stopped.

  In the static crowd, a blonde wisp of a woman began waving from across the yard. Miranda, in all her ethereal glory, grinned at us both.

  Lips came to my ear, the unexpected touch enough to make me shiver. “Would you like a drink?”

  Belly full as it was, I would not be thirsty for some time. “No.”

  I felt him smile against my temple. “Not that kind of drink, my love. Something to help you relax.”

  An intoxicant? That might be useful, considering my nerves. “Okay then.”

  Belly protruding before me, I was led into the gathering, both men and women nodding greetings. Cyderial had not lied to me; most of the women had clearly been plugged, their partners nearby and, in many cases, putting themselves between their mates and our approach.

  Not overtly, but subtly standing guard.

  Why?

  Similar to the bar I invaded in my misguided attempt to earn the fog, an open counter and a barkeep waited. He addressed Cyderial on familiar terms and gave me a smile of congratulations.

  Unsure what to say, I nodded.

  Was the situation worthy of congratulations? Congratulations were for recognition of great accomplishment. Being fucked into a bond by a man strong enough to hold me down and get his way wasn’t really something to celebrate.

  After all, how many females were actually excited to be mated once they knew the full consequences? Few, I would guess. Addiction to the highest-ranking stranger who heard your song felt so impersonal.

  Yet I had known Cyderial for ten years.

  There was nothing impersonal in the way he pillaged my body.

  And there I was at his side, unwittingly thinking about sex, bulging with his fluids in my belly, dressed in clothing he prepared for me, and asking him for help.

  We were connected by history long before a bond. Maybe that was why I had stolen his pink rock. Maybe I had just been too young to understand.

  A pretty cup was pressed into my hands, the contents bubbling and smelling fruity. Aware the crowd watched closely, I leaned into Cyderial’s side as if I might have privacy there and watched him palm a different beverage. “Your friends are staring at me.”

  “They are staring at me.” He gave me a smirk, satisfied to feel me willingly shelter against him. “Watching to make sure that I don’t pose a threat.”

  That didn’t make any sense. “But you took me out yesterday in a large crowd of humans.”

  “And it was all over the broadcasts. My mate was upset—another reason it would be anticipated I would not repeat the experience so quickly.” Abandoning his drink on the bar, he brought his hand up to cup my jaw. Thumb brushing my lower lip, he said, “Let them all see how well we do together. The unmated males here will desire a future mate that warms quickly to them. Give them reason to envy.”

  “You think I’m warming to you?” I had not exactly been friendly. Tolerant perhaps, but not friendly.

  His thumb found my lips again, pulling at my bottom lip. “You are. You might not like me yet, but you melt when I touch you. That has nothing to do with any addiction, my beautiful mate. Physically, you know to trust me.” Leaning down, he stole a quick kiss, before whispering, “You enjoy my strength. Appreciate my learned patience. Most importantly, you have witnessed my ability to recognize my mistakes and apologize for them. Yes, you have warmed to me. Deep down under all your anger, our bond is growing, and I am working hard to be a good custodian of your faith.”

  I don’t know what struck me to tease him, but I smirked, saying, “Maybe I just like the necklace.”

  Laughing, a deep, rich sound, he let his fingers trail lower to toy with the golden chain. “It suits you.”

  What had been soft murmurings filling the air around us grew painfully empty with heavy silence. One would have thought no soul there had heard the man laugh before. Perhaps they never had.

  We had their attention, and Cyderial told me to give them reason to envy.

  He clearly scared the shit out of them, but I wasn’t blubbering or cowering. I was not frantic to be free after a long incarceration.

  They couldn’t see the mess in my mind; outwardly, I might’ve even appeared normal.

  “Cyderial?”

  I had his full and eager attention. “Yes?”

  He had no reason to give me anything I wanted, not when he could have just as easily locked me away and ridden me day and night. “Why are you really doing this for me?”

  A simple brush of his hand over my breast so he might rest a palm against my belly, he purred, “You’re more than a mate. You’re a worthy adversary. And I adore you all the way down to your cute little toes.”

  I would never be able to look at my feet the same way. Those toes curling, my cheeks flamed. “It can’t be that simple.”

  “Someday, you will love me in return, and you will understand.”

  The intoxicating drink seemed like a great idea, the glass at my lips and the sweetness on my tongue so I might not have to think of any reply.

  Grinning at my discomfiture, he asked, “May I have a kiss so they all might see how well you’ve tamed me?”

  I almost choked on my drink. Tamed? The man was as unhinged and feral as ever. But the powerful members of our kind were watching, their attention rapt.

  Cyderial would benefit from my obedience. Of course he would. But so might I. No highly ranked male was going to listen to me if I was hysterical and quarrelsome. The agenda should be approached no differently than speaking with an academy instructor. Composure mattered.

  Especially if you wanted something.

  And I wanted Maeve to know what was going to happen to her. I wanted all my sisters to learn what the males would do to them.

  A kiss to show the crowd I could be affectionate if given freedoms and respect?

  What would it cost me to do something so simple?

  Cautious, my fingertips went to his chest, the softness of his sweater pleasant as I considered the next move. Drawing my talons upward, I may have laid a light scratch over his throat. The noise he made in response, how his eyes flared, a clear sign he appreciated my delicate threat.

  At last, I touched his hair. Fingering the blond hair that hung in his eyes, I brushed some of it aside to see him clearly and found him very patient indeed. It was the most intimate I had been with him, those acts that took place during sex motivated from primal urges.

  I was choosing this without scent, sound, or strength to compel me.

  Touching him freely, warmed by his body.

  There was one problem if he wanted his kiss. Whispering, I went up on tiptoe, “You’re too tall for me to reach.”

  Grinning, he leaned down enough so I might meet him.

  A light press of my lips to his was all I gave.

  Yet, one would think I had just given him a kingdom to rule. Rumbling out his satisfaction, swelling with pride, he straightened and stared down at me in that possessive way of his.

  9

  “Enough mooning.” An indelicate touch came to my elbow, starling me enough that I spilled a bit of my drink. Recognizing that voice, I knew at once it was Miranda yanking me away. Handsy and insistent, she said, “Cyderial, you are going to have to hand her over now. We want to get to know your Lorieyn. Go speak to the men and behave yourself. You can have her back when we’re done.”

  Shaking droplets of liquid from my fingers, I found it was not just Miranda who had approached. Several of the women, all friendly and smiling, had come to collect me.

  And they were not asking.

  Drawing me into their sphere, Cyderial was forced to relinquish me. Though, he had grown stiff, a vein throbbing at his temple.

  I could not imagine anyone other than ancient Miranda getting away with such a scheme. Not when he looked ready to snatch me right back to see if I might pet him more.

  Waving off his irritation, Miranda tugged me away. “He’ll be fine. Come.”

  The ringleader of the introduction marched me to a grouping of tables the ladies had pulled together, seating me right in the middle. My back to the general, he was out of my line of sight. A tactical move on Miranda’s part, her smirk over my head toward my mate troublesome.

  Taking the seat across from me, her flowing floral garment billowing enough I could see a belly no different than mine, Miranda settled in.

  With a wink and a large gulp of her wine, the ageless beauty said, “You seem much less the frightened mouse tonight. I assume he has been behaving himself?”

  Unsure what to make of her, I remained rigid. “Hello again, Miranda.”

  “Look at you, the picture of mated bliss.” Leaning forward, she gave an unsettling grin. “You are navigating the situation beautifully.”

  Gesturing at my burgeoning belly, I said, “You could have explained this to me.”

  “You figured it out!” She cackled, patting her own bump. “We all do, don’t we, girls?”

  That sent the women at the table laughing, several murmuring to one another in voices too low for me to hear.

  I didn’t find it amusing at all. “You expect me to fall in line and submit; you made that very clear. But he was not happy that you told me about the arena yet failed to guide me with any useful female knowledge.”

  “Sweetheart, no one expects you to fall in line. I am just trying to save you years wasted on regret. You didn’t want him, but you have him now.” She looked around at the women gathered, a collection of mated hybrids of standing, and said, “There is enough wisdom at this table to assure you there is no escaping the inevitable. I really am trying to help you.”

  Perhaps to a point, but I had the very real sense she was trying to wield some control over Cyderial through me. Ultimately, she had an agenda. So did I.

  And I was shameless. “Good, because I need your help.”

  I had her attention, her interest, and her smile as she sat back and waited to hear what so young a female might want. “Do tell.”

  A deep breath expanded my ribcage, my back as straight as my belly might allow. “It is a horrible thing, keeping females in the dark. Purposefully sustaining our ignorance about our bodies, the addiction, and a male’s ability to manipulate our senses. We have a right to know what they intend to do with us. Unmated females should be taught about sex. You can help me convince the men.”

  She gave a low whistle. “The way the world is now, it is not safe for unmated females. Some humans are depraved and dream of opening a hybrid girl. Many hybrid males cannot control their urges, even without a song to draw them in. Those who can—” Her eyes went past me to where the general had been standing at the bar. “—have no reason to cede knowledge when they gain nothing from it.”

  I sat taller, wishing I felt more confident. “Cyderial promised to support me.”

  Surprise was open on the faces of many of the woman gathered around me, but not on Miranda’s. A chilling question on her lips, she leaned forward. “I wonder why he would want to change something that no longer directly affects his mate?”

  Because it was what I wanted, and I was right.

  But… it didn’t matter if I was right, did it?

  And there were many things I wanted that he was more than happy to deny me.

  Such as the fog.

  A heart-shaped face and short, bouncing brunette curls, the woman in the seat at my side introduced herself. “I’m Valentyna. Mate to that one.” She pointed to one of the males who approached to converse with Cyderial. A Cyderial who had yet to break his gaze away from me, I found when I turned around to see who she gestured to. “Commander Silva. Our mates are practically brothers.”

  The concept of Cyderial having close friends felt so odd that I had no idea how to reply beyond, “It’s nice to meet you.”

  Valentyna gave me a smile. “Is it true he waited ten years to claim you? He let you grow into adulthood?”

  Nodding, I agreed, “Yes. I met him when I was twelve.”

  As if Valentyna were half in love with him herself, she gave him a longing stare. “I was fourteen when my mate claimed me. Other women at this table were taken even younger. Unmated girls are now locked away under armed guard, and still, it isn’t enough. The most determined brutes find a way.”

  Another female, who looked an awful lot like Maeve, whispered, “I was opened and raped in a closet at the academy by a Watcher forty years ago. He kept his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet, but I couldn’t breathe. I still have nightmares while I’m sleeping in the arms of the man who did that to me. The saddest part is, there are far worse stories than mine.”

  A communal melancholy descended over the group, each woman at the table remembering a moment of their own dark history.

  Staring down at my drink, I muttered, “I know now that he was careful with me, but I was still terrified. When it started, I was so confused. None of it was expected nor encouraged. He wouldn’t stop…” The heart of my grief lay in the following confession. “And now I know it was my fault things at the academy were so awful. The punishments are extreme; boys can be hung for looking at a female too long. My song made Cyderial insane for ten years, and everyone suffered for it.”

  “You are giving yourself far too much credit,” Miranda interjected, gentle enough, and she reached to pat my hand. “The man you are mated to isn’t the average hybrid male. Were our world different, he would be our king. Your song may have caused him to suffer as he practiced restraint—because he could have mated you any time he wished—but I assure you, every choice he made in your keeping and in the care of the recruits, he did so fully aware of the long-term consequences of his actions. You are not responsible for any of it.”

  Miranda’s history was her own, but mine was ugly and unnecessary. “He’s murdered children.”

  “It isn’t that simple, and you know it,” she said, urging me to pay attention. “Grieve them; that is noble. But do it with your eyes open. We are walking a knife’s edge of existence, and it is his duty to keep you alive. As a general, it is his duty to keep us all alive. Young as you are, you cannot image what he is up against.”

  I still could see the redheaded boy’s face when the Watchers descended upon our hiding place. That terror he’d known, I would never forget. “It’s a pity he didn’t mate you, Miranda. You’re just as ruthless as he is.”