“No.”

  There he was, the imperious general I hated, and not the softer Cyderial I was learning could be kind.

  But I had been raised to fight for every last scrap I had been given. And then I made those scraps into a beautiful dress. Pulling my foot from his hand, I leaned down, so we were eye-to-eye. “Why?”

  Taking my chin between his forefinger and thumb, more than happy to meet my glare, he said, “The courtyard, I can consider. Family visits, absolutely not. Little hybrid girls have gone missing on those outings to visit their mothers, regardless of armed guards. Some were taken by suitors, but the majority we recovered were taken by humans. Many children have never been found. Human males consider our kind exotic and desire us for taboo sexual pleasure. So yes, I prevented you from going into the city when you were too little to defend yourself. We can debate the finer details if you like, but I do not regret a single decision I made in the keeping of my vulnerable mate. And I will not allow other little girls to come to harm if I can prevent it.”

  I would not let myself understand what he said, but my lip shook. “Why would they take little girls?”

  His eyes shone, the man urging, “Please do not make me explain that to you. Just know it is a horrible thing.”

  When he looked at me with such compassion, I felt foolishly idealistic. Naïve and stupid. I didn’t like being pitied, even less than I liked being ignorant through no fault of my own. “What… What if the mothers come to them?”

  The backs of his fingers traced down the tender flesh of my throat, my collarbones explored. “Do you think they actually will? Women who raised themselves up by sacrificing a child on the altar of the academy? Trudging down to the lower reaches where the fog is still thick and the streets are unclean? How many broken hearts will that lead to when Mommy doesn’t show up? I would rather they hate me and have hope, than know how ugly the human world is when they are still so young.”

  “You’re assuming every mother is bad.”

  He could make his cruelty sound so reasonable. “My beloved Lorieyn, I am sorry your mother will never deserve you. But is it not better that you learned the hard truth as an adult with your mate there to ground you, and not when you were little, scared, and alone? I have the data to support my stance, and it does not favor your wonderful idealism. Humans are self-centered, self-indulgent, and self-destructive creatures. There is a reason their planet is uninhabitable. Imagine what they would have done to this one, if not for the fog and the vorec.”

  Morning and night at the academy, I had been ordered to recite a pledge to protect humans. I had been taught their appreciation for our sacrifice was sacred. I had been lied to so I wouldn’t put myself in danger. A slave, he said, who would die for humans without question. “If the children can’t have mothers, then they should have mentors who can be there for them in the same way. Nice adults who will cuddle them when they get back from a hard day of being repeatedly beaten. Who will listen to them when they feel unheard? Who can advocate for them when instructors come down too hard? Better yet, when the humans give them up, why don’t we hybrids take them and raise them and teach them at home? Don’t try to tell me that a five-year-old has to have her bones repeatedly broken in a boot camp just to learn how to hold a sword. Pinky fingers mend in an hour, but it fucking hurts and is unnecessary.”

  Cyderial made his point again. “You could set a positive example teaching basic swordsmanship to the youngest.”

  That served his expectations but not mine. Impassioned to take him on, I argued, “You are a general and can assign me to the academy, but let’s not pretend you would do so to benefit the children. You want me away from the city and under your thumb. Away from the fog.”

  As if he were the epitome of reason, he said, “The academy is the safest place on this planet for you. That is nonnegotiable. I am your mate and your general, and you will do as I command in this. Rule me as you will in all other ways. When we are alone, I am your slave. You will find I am open to considering your ideas. But you will also find that age and experience have offered me perspective you cannot ignore.”

  My ultimate goal was not unreasonable. “I want the children to be able to feel safe. Let them play. Ease up on the rules about contraband. Keep boys and girls together, at least until a reasonable age. Explain to them why they are being separated; you don’t have to give details. Children are smart enough to understand adults know best when you treat them with respect. No more public executions.” As if I had any power to force his hand, I blurted out, “If you execute another child, I will run away and suffer heat until I die.”

  Rising to his feet, towering over me, Cyderial glared down with every ounce of menace he might possess. “Do not threaten me, Lorieyn. Not with that.”

  “All I am asking is that you no longer murder children. I will stay with you forever, if you promise me another recruit will not be hanged.” I would even get on my knees and suck his cock dry if that’s what it took.

  So I did, slipping from the chair, hands to his thighs. I looked up and begged with my eyes.

  He was not moved. “You will stay with me regardless.”

  My hand went to the drawstring of those pants, making quick work of the knot.

  “Stop.” He caught my fumbling fingers, pressing my wrists together to hold my touch away from his pulsating dick.

  Flushed and struggling against his grip, I snarled, “Why? What point is there in being mated to my enemy, if I cannot leverage my position to help little kids?”

  “I’m not your enemy, Lorieyn.”

  His grasp assured I stayed on my knees before him, staring up, beseeching Cyderial for an answer. “On many levels, you are! I will admit there may be more to you than our ten-year history, but it will not vanish just because you want it to. It’s been a handful of very confusing days full of warnings and ugly examples. My mother doesn’t love me. Humans consider me a slave. Nothing in the city is safe. Children have to suffer.” Growing upset, I demanded an answer. “Why? Why is all of it this way?”

  My wrists were parted, each of my hands caught and held. Dark, fearsome, he said, “Think hard before you answer. Do you want me to start a war for you? These things you demand can only be provided if humans are removed from power.”

  He wasn’t joking.

  Shaking my head, frightened, I surrendered. “You know I’m not equipped to answer that. I know nothing about this world except what you have deigned to teach me! And let’s be honest—over the years, you haven’t proved to be a reliable source. You ask me to trust you, when the life you’ve made me live has been a lie!”

  “Remember this. And should the day come that you want the president’s head on a platter, I will give it to you, so long as you understand the consequences. And when it is done, you will give me a home and fill it with children who will never have to go to an academy.”

  This was more than longing. Cyderial wanted me to unleash him on the city. He wanted me to have all the things I begged for. As my mate, he would give them to me… at the price of many lives.

  Human and hybrid.

  That was not a power I was comfortable wielding.

  “If you can be patient, young one, everything you desire, you will have in time. But I cannot give it to you now, not without blood running in the streets.” Raising me from the floor, Cyderial signaled that the conversation was at an end. “Tomorrow, you will come with me to the academy. We will walk through your ideas, and I will be open to reasonable negotiations should there be room and safety at such concessions. That does not mean you will have your way in most things. Change will happen more slowly than you would prefer, and we will argue a great deal about it over the years; I am sure. Advocate—the children need you, but understand humans will kill them all if recruits cannot serve. They will kill them if they grow complacent and their test scores are too low. They will kill them for unexpected deformities. They will kill them for speaking out. They will kill them for sport. It is our duty to ensure they can survive.”

  I wasn’t built for the responsibility he would thrust upon me. “And so our own kind beats the spirit right out of its children.”

  Taking my chin between his forefinger and thumb, soothing in tone, he asked, “Do you think we don’t love them too? Your instructors are not monsters. They have seen humans cull entire generations of our kind. Humans in power write off such massacres as genetic sequencing errors. They do not mourn them. We are desperate to keep our children alive. One broken pinky finger might hurt, but it sure as hell will ensure the child pays attention in their next class.”

  I had never heard of any such mass murder of hybrids; such a secret had never been whispered in the academy halls. “How can we tolerate this?”

  Sadness was in his voice. “Maybe now you are starting to understand why I kept you so close and drove you so hard.”

  “You’re trying to distract me with horrors so I shift my anger from hybrid males to humans. But our own kind enacts violence against my sisters.” Hybrid males were my adversaries when it came to their control over unmated females. “Give me something to show you mean what you say. Teach the older girls just what will happen to them once they put their names on the list. That has nothing to do with the humans at all.”

  A glitter came to his verdant green eyes. “Tonight, you can wage your war on the scrupulous generals. Tomorrow, you can face off against the academy hierarchy. But right now, I want you to know I have heard you, and I ask you to give this a chance.”

  I had never been particularly patient, but I was naturally tenacious. “You think I should sacrifice my ideals, because you took from me without asking? What did you have to lose in order to claim my song?”

  “In order to deserve you and keep you safe,” he said with no preamble or shame, “I had to willingly execute failed recruits. I have murdered those you were fond of. Unfailingly devoted myself to a position that built animosity between us. Signed off on your torture. I made you hate me. But you are alive, and you are mine.”

  Closing my eyes to him, hearing the blood rush in my ears, I let out a shaky breath. “You took it further than that.”

  Sighing, he said, “You have no idea.”

  “You know I am terrified of you.” Even if we did share some unexpectedly easy moments. Even if I did feel sexual excitement when he poured his attention upon me.

  It was that arousal his strategy relied upon—the distraction of pleasure.

  His hands going to the sash holding my robe together, my body was unwrapped. Right there, without my permission.

  Right there, as I shook from the injustice of it all.

  Velvet was pulled from my shoulders, bare skin left for his hungry gaze. “The fog would have killed you. Even now, as we speak, dangerous humans meet to find ways to steal you from my care. Imagine what they might do to you should they succeed. You wish to be angry that I hold you above all others, that I would keep you safe? Then hate me. Hate me forever, if you must. It will never stop me from loving you.”

  Lips fell upon mine, the conversation over as he gave me another avenue to vent my frustrations through.

  I clawed, scratched, and fought, grateful he forced me to the bed. Crying out when his cock broke my seal as he mounted me from behind. As if possessed by demons, he rode me hard, a rough beast with no care should I be scandalized. And in the violence that followed, Cyderial showed me just how fun it could be to make a mess of the sheets.

  I bore his weight and found myself mewling noises that should have shamed me down to my bones, weeping with the rightness of it when he fisted my hair and whispered dark promises at my ear.

  He swore to me he would give me anything I wanted, if only I would let him own me.

  Promised me any future I might desire, if only I would surrender.

  Roared that I belonged to him—sending chills down my spine and frightening me so deeply I came, clamped tight around his thrashing cock.

  A knot swelled huge inside me. There was no question he was going to make me as fat as he could. That he would dress me up, show me off, let the world know just how hard he fucked his young mate.

  Distending more with each gush, I found myself arching back so his wriggling cock might drive deeper into my body.

  While I was being filled, he pleasured me with his fingers, with his tongue at the shell of my ear. He made threats I was too drunk on pleasure to understand.

  Beyond exhausted by the time we both lay panting in the tangle of sheets, my belly was once again fully distended, his knot set deep, his cock unwilling to be moved from its warm home.

  His every heartbeat, I could feel within me, as that thing of his pet me from the inside.

  He’d frightened me, and he knew it.

  By all the satisfied male groans and possessive strokes, he very much enjoyed his victory.

  My back held firmly to his chest, his arm possessively wrapped around my middle, he palmed my breast, rolling my nipple between his fingers.

  “Stop.” I could not take another moment of pleasure, my nervous system already sparking from his corruption.

  A menacing laugh matched his rough bite on my shoulder. “No.”

  I dug my talons deep into his forearm, drawing blood and tearing muscle, and I swear—I swear—he climaxed, again, at that very moment.

  And then he rubbed his blood into my skin, painting me inside and out, promising to make me love him.

  7

  “It isn’t a bad thing for you to have a taste of how vicious I can be.” The decadent strokes had not ceased, Cyderial already having plugged me full, having bathing his blood from my flesh, and now he drew a brush through my long hair while I stared at myself in the mirror.

  I could not bring myself to meet his gaze in the reflection.

  Not after how he so fully submitted me. How he frightened me.

  “There will be times you grow anxious from this world that is so new to you. When they come, remember who you are mated to.” It wasn’t pride that shaded his low-spoken words; it was power. “There are reasons humans both fear and adulate what I have accomplished in the arena. The world, this ugly city, should they try to touch you, will have to face me. Know what I’m capable of, and let it be a comfort. I swear to keep you safe from all of it.”

  But not safe from him.

  A man who could do dark things to me and make me like it.

  When it grew painfully obvious he was waiting for me to muster the courage to raise my eyes to his, that he would only tolerate my reticence for so long, I found myself embarrassed to be so bashful.

  So I braved the inevitable.

  Our eyes met in the mirror, and I found the insane man I’d known in my younger years—one of the many facets of his personality—and I questioned my own sanity for not running straight out the door.

  This raw version of him was so different than the gentle mate who comforted me in the street. This unmasked side of Cyderial was the killer humans loved to cheer on in bloody battle.

  The one who unleashed an unexpected fury upon me in bed.

  Who pulled my hair to arch my back. Who gripped me by the throat as he shook my bones with pounding thrusts.

  Worse, I was startled by how much I enjoyed it.

  Cowed, obedient, feeling small in the shadow of his strength, I let him do as he would.

  And liked it.

  But I wasn’t sure if I liked who that made me. Abandoning his eyes to look over my burgeoning belly, I found the skin taut. He filled me too much. Cradling the pressure in a bid to distract myself, I subtly arched my aching spine. Pops zipped up from sacrum to neck, my resulting sigh one of relief.

  General Cyderial watched me do so with clear pleasure in his lingering gaze—pleasure of the dark variety. Which hinted at how truly debased his longings might be.

  A powerful part of him would have known absolute joy to lock me away and play with me at his whim. To overpower me and bend me to his will, feed me what he wished, touch me when he wanted. Have me all to himself.

  That energy was a very real adversary in the room.

  He had been so tense the previous day just walking me out the door. Would it be such a struggle for him each time? Would he eventually tire of battling with himself and choose the easier path?

  Would I even remember my name if he bent me over and took what he wanted?

  He’d filled me to the point of discomfort. Would he use that as an excuse to keep me in his home and compel me down his darker path?

  The hairbrush was set aside, my gloating mate watching my every breath as he reached for the magic disk that would wind up my hair—hair that was his—and make me pretty.

  Just as the merchant had shown him, he placed it in position and activated its program. Long wires began weaving my hair, exposing my naked spine.

  Cyderial enjoyed watching that curtain of dark hair slowly unveil the flesh of my back.

  Touching where he would with those large, warm hands, he kneaded the stiff muscles at my lower back, whispering, “Deep breath. Let me help you feel better.”

  Bracing against the counter, I gasped and felt just how much relief he could give. His understanding of my anatomy, just where to dig in, where to soothe, was inexplicable. How many years, how many journals, had he studied for this very moment? I could only guess.

  What knowledge might live in the fixated general’s head? What had ten years of obsession and the constant concern a female with the perfect song might be taken by another done to him?

  Another far more satisfying ripple of pops tripped up my spine, tense muscles relaxing under his touch. A sigh followed as my eyes closed, while my bones felt as if they finally found their proper place.

  Drawn back to the heat of his chest, he held me in his arms. Warm hands came to my front as he weighed the belly. There, he rubbed much more gently, soothing skin made shiny from the unaccustomed stretch.

  A traveling touch drifted to my swollen breast, another between where I pressed my thighs shut against him.