He reappeared quickly though, and knelt down to do a check over. “Could you help me up?” I asked through gritted teeth. “I need to piss.”

  “Why didn’t you ask Urei?”

  “I did. He dropped me. It hurt. A lot.”

  “Oh.” He looked a little embarrassed at that. “Well, you are rather tall. Come on.”

  The relief from using the loo was bliss, and with that pain gone, I could be more patient as he helped me back to the living room. “So, are you going to throw me out before Matsin gets here?”

  “Hmmm, tempting since it’s pouring outside, but no.” Pel gave me a little smile. Damn, he was a good-looking bastard. “Urei’s quite cheerful in fact. He seems to have been inspired. I’ve not seen him do so many life studies in ages.”

  “Maybe you should have more visitors.”

  “No. Not a good idea. He becomes overstimulated and stressed. I only allowed you to stay because you were so sleepy.”

  “So what exactly is wrong with him?” I asked, and waited for the snapback.

  But he only settled me on the couch again, and helped me put my socks and boots on since Matsin would be here soon. Lord, I hoped he would, anyway. When the lack of reply became obvious, I said, “Don’t want to tell me?”

  “Not really. It’s private, and complicated. As you’re hopefully disappearing completely from our lives, there’s not much point. However, I thank you for entertaining him today. Was it very tiresome?”

  I started to say “hell yes,” but something in his tired, brown eyes stopped me. “I was just sore. Not his fault. The pictures were amazing. And anyway, you were doing me the favour, remember?”

  “Yes, of course. You won’t...talk about him to anyone?”

  “You mean like a reporter? Why the hell would I do that? I hate the press. I’d be more afraid of what you might do.”

  “Ah. Yes. I’d forgotten what you do for a living.” His eyes became all cold again. “I have a couple of things to do before we go out. Would you excuse me?”

  Then he left me alone, confused and curious. What was this man’s thing about actors? Or maybe it was just me.

  Urei came out and ignored me, working on the painting that had been sitting on the easel all day. “Can I see?” I asked.

  He cocked his head and then turned the easel around. I hadn’t known what to expect after seeing his drawings. Not this, for sure—a crowded, frantic abstract of thousands of tiny squares and triangles, all interlinking to form a swirl of colour and shapes. I’d never have guessed he would produce this after that first picture he’d drawn.

  “It’s...confusing.”

  “Yeah. It’s the voices. I draw the voices but they make no sense.”

  “Voices?”

  “Voices. Hundreds of them, in my head. Sometimes. When I don’t take the pills. Pel says I should take the pills all the time but then I can’t paint. So I mix it up. You’re mixed up too.”

  “Yeah,” I said, sighing. My brain was in a blender and Urei was a high speed setting. “I...really enjoyed your other pictures. They were amazing.”

  He smiled shyly. “Thanks. You’re not so ugly. Except for that eye and the cuts and the scab on your cheek and the fat lip.”

  “Except for all that.”

  “Yeah.” He grinned at his own joke, then jumped as a communicator went off in the other room. Pel’s. I hoped. Matsin, I hoped too.

  It was. Pel came out. “Right, time for you to leave. He’s downstairs. Come on, I’ll take you down in the elevator.”

  He helped me up, and I waved at Urei. “See you.”

  “Hope not.” He sniffed and walked out, his little arse swaying cheekily in his yellow briefs.

  Pel grinned. “He’s a tough audience. You can’t win him over by being a life model for a day.”

  “That’s not actually something to be so proud of, you know.”

  Pel only shrugged. “Let’s go.”

  It seemed a lot further than I remembered to the elevator and Pel had to hold me up as we rode down to the parking level. Matsin and Carll were right there as the doors opened, and Pel transferred me over to Matsin’s care with insulting speed.

  “Thank you, Mister Kani,” Matsin said as I dangled between his and Carll’s arms like a failed prop. “We appreciate your discretion and your patience.”

  “Just see I don’t need it again. There’s enough trouble in the world without looking for it.”

  “I wasn’t,” I said, staring up at him.

  “Whatever,” he said, turning to go.

  “Wait.” He looked back at me. “I, uh...thanks. You probably saved my life.”

  “Unlikely. Good evening, gentlemen.” Then he slipped back into the elevator.

  Matsin said nothing until he and Carll bundled me into the luxar, and even then, as Carll started the engine and pulled smoothly away, my manager only sat and glared at me as Carll manoeuvred through the traffic.

  “Knock it off,” I said. “I’ve had enough of this all day.”

  “I was just wondering if you were in imminent danger of death, or whether a doctor’s visit would suffice.” Still staring at me, he pulled out his communicator, and tapped in a number. “Ah, yes, Matsin Ro here. Would you ask Doctor Jila to call at my house as soon as he’s free? Yes, we spoke about it earlier. Thank you.”

  He snapped the communicator shut. “Fortunately I found a replacement for the promo tonight, but I believe you owe me an explanation, Jay. You should have called me, not this stranger.”

  “He found me, took me home. I wasn’t in a state to call anyone.” I hunched into the corner, realising this was going as badly as I’d thought it would.

  “And how did you get into this state, hmmm?”

  “I got caught up in a fight. Someone I was talking to. It was just an accident.”

  “Why were you even out without telling me where you were going? Damn it, Jay—what if the press had found you? You look like you’ve been dragged through a meat grinder. Not exactly the wholesome image we want to project for you.”

  I should have been used to him by now, but he could still astonish me with his reptilian attitude. “Hi Matsin, so glad to see you’re so worried about me. I'm all right, really. I probably won’t die or anything.”

  “Clearly if you were going to die, you’d be dead,” he said, his glasses glinting dangerously. “Mister Kani seemed to be a responsible gentleman. I'm sure he’d have taken you to hospital if you were seriously injured, and I believed the chances were high of you being better off where you were. I'm more concerned about how long those bruises will take to go down. If you go home like that, your mother will blame me. Have you contacted her yet?”

  “No, I haven’t, and your concern gets me right here.” I poked my chest and winced. Was there any part of me that wasn’t bruised? “Can I stay with you until I heal up a bit?”

  He sighed. “This is incredibly badly timed. You’ll need to exercise more caution in where you go and who you meet up with.”

  “Is that a ‘yes’?”

  “It’s a maybe. Wait until the doctor sees you.”

  He and Carll took me to a guest bedroom, since Matsin sensibly said there was no point in us sharing a bed if every movement hurt—even though I’d have liked the company. He dismissed Carll and helped me undress. As he saw the bruising and multiple grazes, the first sign of concern appeared on his face.

  “Kani didn’t tell me it was this bad.”

  “He did. You weren’t listening.”

  “Maybe I should take you to hospital after all—”

  “No, leave it. Like you said, I’d be dead by now if I was going to die.”

  He winced. “I don’t understand what you were doing in the kind of club where you would be beaten like this.”

  “Looking for company. You were busy, remember?”

  “This is nothing to do with me. You’re lucky it wasn’t worse. I suggest you don’t push that luck. Do you want anything?”

  The switch from cold anger to apparent thoughtfulness confused me for a moment. “Uh, something to drink. I'm hungry but I don’t know that I could eat.”

  “I’ll have Reta make you a protein drink.” He shook his head. “You better use this time to do some serious script reading, Jay. It’s fortunate we’re not filming or testing this week. Your face is an asset. Be more careful, will you?”

  The words were a reprimand but the tone could almost be mistaken for affection, so I took the tone for what it sounded like. “Yeah. I'm not exactly keen to repeat this. It fucking hurts.”

  “I'm sure the doctor will prescribe something for that. Rest. I’ll have Reta bring you the drink.”

  Matsin’s guest bed was a lot softer and more comfortable than Pel’s couch, and it was a relief not to have weird little Urei staring at me, but the way Pel had just dismissed me from his thoughts and his life like that bugged me like you wouldn’t believe. Okay, I was an unwanted nuisance and he disapproved of how I’d got myself into the mess, but that didn’t make me worthless. Anyway, he wasn’t even consistent—why leave me with his fucked-up brother-cousin if he thought so little of me? Why be pleased that I’d kept Urei amused, but still write me off because of what I did for a living? It’d be mortifying from anyone, but when it was from someone as good-looking and smart as him....

  All right, I admit it. I don’t take rejection well and I’m used to people falling for my charms. Even when I was a kid, I’d made friends easily, always had a way of making people smile and like me. Matsin was the first person I’d met I’d had to actively work to win over, but then he was a cold fish with everyone. Urei didn’t like most people and he was strange anyway, so he didn’t count. But Pel...Pel should have liked me, and didn’t. It stung. I didn’t want him to walk out of my life like that. I had to do something about it.

  Reta brought me a tasty cold drink which felt good on abraded tissues and settled the hunger pangs. She oohed over my injuries and scolded me for getting hurt and not telling them about it. “Mister Ro said you’re going to stay with us for a few days. We’ll look after you, don’t worry about that.”

  “Sorry for the trouble, Reta.” Matsin’s housekeeper is a treasure. I think even he realises that.

  “No trouble, Mister Jay. Does your mother know?”

  “No, so if she calls, just say I'm staying with Matsin to read scripts and stuff. I don’t want to worry her.”

  “I understand.” She took the glass back from me and looked thoughtful. “Mister Jay, I’d hate to see you end up like some of the other actors Mister Ro managed before they went and spoiled themselves. You’re a good boy, not like them. Don’t make your mother cry, will you?”

  “No, Reta. I wasn’t looking for trouble. I’ll be more careful in future.”

  “Glad to hear it. I better go.”

  See? Reta liked me. People just did. Unless they were Pel and Urei.

  Matsin’s doctor arrived ten minutes later, and I had to go through the entire business again of being poked and felt up and asked questions, while Matsin watched with a face like boiled piss. Doctor Jila wasn’t happy that I hadn’t seen a doctor sooner but he grudgingly admitted that it was mostly just deep bruising. Rest and observation were all that were needed, apart from some bruise ointment and painkillers. “Are you on any other medication?”

  “No,” I lied. I wouldn’t be while I took his pills, at least. I’d have to ration the Moxi anyway, until I found a new dealer. If Lindz survived—and I wished I had some idea how I could find out—I didn’t think he’d be back at that club. Nor would I—too risky.

  The doctor left, and I took the first dose of the painkillers. The examination had set everything going again, so I was in a fair amount of pain. Matsin stood and watched me squirm and wriggle, trying to find a place to get comfortable. After I’d settled down, he came and sat on the end of the bed.

  “Don’t do this again, Jay.”

  “Why? I didn’t think you cared.”

  “No, I suppose you don’t. If nothing else, other people depend on you being able to do your job. I’d hardly go broke but you have films coming out which will need promotion.”

  “If I died, you’d get the sympathy publicity.”

  His thin lips disappeared in irritation. “I do wish you didn’t feel it necessary to constantly remind me how pedestrian your intellect is. No one wants you to die, and your continued good health is not purely of economic consideration. Does that feed your insatiable ego sufficiently?”

  “It’ll have to.”

  He grunted and stood, clearly about to leave me to get on with healing. “Hey,” I said. “We should do something for them. You know, Pel and his brother. He does work at some kind of migrant centre.”

  “Yes, I checked him out. Noble of him.” Matsin seemed underwhelmed. “Perhaps a donation would be in order.

  “Yeah. He’s got this freaky brother, Urei—a cousin, actually—who’s crazier than a sock full of angry ants but you should see his art. He’s amazing.”

  To my surprise, this piqued his interest, though it was hard to tell sometimes when Matsin was enthusiastic about something. “Yes, I checked him out too. Urei Ges. His work’s becoming quite collectable. A small piece went recently for forty thousand.”

  I gaped. “Forty? But they’re not rich—their apartment’s really shabby.”

  “Oh, Ges gives away a lot of his art. He has no interest in money. People sell it on and make a handsome profit. He’s a fool not to capitalise on it. I don’t understand his attitude at all.”

  “Yeah, I can see how someone not wanting to rip people off would confuse you.”

  Matsin glared over the top of his glasses. “The money you want to donate to Mister Kani’s centre has to come from somewhere, and since you’re the altruistic one, how about it comes from your account? You have the most reason to be grateful.”

  “You have some too.”

  “Ah yes, but I'm the mercenary one. It would be out of character to donate to a cause which benefits me not at all. Shall I have the accountant send them a cheque from you?”

  I pulled a face. “Yeah. But I want to send a note.”

  “As you wish. Ten should be enough.”

  “Ten? That’s—”

  “Ten thousand, of course.”

  I choked. “Ten thous—”

  “Cheap at twice the price, I’d say. And it’s only money. I’ve got to go out. Call Reta if you need any help. Good night.”

  And then he swished out, smug and annoying in his cool and unruffled way. I hated him so much.

  Chapter 2 — A Fresh Start

  I spent a week at Matsin’s, though not all of it was for recuperation. After two days, I felt a lot better, though I looked like crap, but Matsin, ever ready to seize an opportunity, arranged me to do a couple of tests for action roles, figuring we may as well let directors know I could scruff up well if needed. I also read a stack of scripts and indicated interest in five, which kept him off my back. Mum didn’t find it strange I was staying with him—I’d done it often enough—and makeup hid the damage pretty well over a communicator screen.

  I’d done my best to find out if Lindz had survived. I could find no report of anyone being found dead or badly injured behind the Juracee club so I had to hope that meant he was okay. I didn’t know how I’d solve my Moxi supply problem but the visions and delusions never bothered me at Matsin’s house. Maybe because he had a way of distracting me.

  I sent the cheque to Pel, along with a note thanking him and asking him to lunch. I didn’t expect a reply soon but I hoped for one. In the meantime, just as Matsin was getting ready to kick me out back to Mum’s place, I heard that I’d been selected for one of the roles I’d tested for. Filming was to start in two weeks. They’d been left in a bit of a bind because their first choice had been in an accident and the doctors were refusing to clear him to work. I had just enough time to recover my looks and my fitness, and research the role. Matsin was beside himself with glee—well, he smiled occasionally for no obvious reason—because the role could lead to a series. It wasn’t great art but no one expected that from Jay Langse. I played big brothers, reliable boyfriends, the honest guy in a world of bad men. I’d made one film where I’d played the villain, and received excellent reviews for my acting. The project had lost money. Apparently no one wanted to pay to watch me be evil.

  The new film had another advantage—it was being shot locally, though mostly at night. Mum’s company was providing security, so I’d actually see her more than usual, something that made her smile. “We can go out for breakfast together,” she said. “Like we did when you were at school.”

  “I’d like that, Mum,” I said. She should have a boyfriend, I thought. Someone to take her out and treat her well. But her romances didn’t tend to work out any better than her marriage had, and at fifty-six, she said she was past all that now. I hoped that wasn’t true.

  A reply finally came from Pel, thanking me for the cheque but declining the invitation to lunch on the grounds he was always too busy during the day. I’d expected that, so I wrote back and suggested he might like to have dinner instead and be a guest on location for one of the night shoots. To my surprise, he actually called me to refuse.

  “Jay, it’s a very kind offer but I can’t leave Urei on his own at night.”

  “Then bring him along. If I inspired him, how much fun do you think he’d have with a whole crew full of actors?”

  Matsin, flicking through a contract, arched an eyebrow at me, clearly curious as to what the hell I was talking about, but pretending he was far too polite to ask. I pretended to ignore him.

  Pel sighed in my ear. “It’ll be too much for him.”

  “Why don’t you give him a chance? We can have a nice quiet dinner in the commissary with my manager—you remember him?—and then you and Urei can see us set up a stunt. I can find out when they’re doing something really interesting. Come on, it’ll be fun.”

  “I doubt it. Oh, all right, just to get you off my back.”

  Not the nicest acceptance of an invitation I’d ever heard, but I punched the air when the call closed. “Hah, I win.”