“You might knock.” Not that Bleu wouldn’t have heard them. He waved before heading out, feeling even worse now, because he was leaving Bleu to deal with Dan.

  He did his walk—hell, his run—of shame and ducked into the shower as soon as he stripped down. God, he hoped no one noticed.

  The whole main ranch area seemed to be rocking. Sleigh rides and hot chocolate. When he went back out there, his wet hair tucked under a little knit cap, no one teased or accosted him, so he figured he’d done all right.

  Phil was holding court when he walked in, telling wild stories about different athletes’ exploits. He was always in his element like this, and Ryan wasn’t. He just wasn’t.

  “Here he is! Ryan Shields, at your service.”

  The temptation to curtsey was huge. He manfully resisted. “Hey, folks.”

  About ten beautiful lumberjackual men surrounded him, pouring testosterone from every pore. Lord. Maybe he still smelled like sex.

  He shook hands and gave everyone his very best smile. Be charming. Praise the product. Give everyone a thumbs-up.

  Ryan felt a little like chum in shark-infested waters. Too bad his own personal hammerhead was waiting in his cabin.

  Lord. He just blinked and tried to work through the change of pace from Bleu and the fun they were having.

  “Everything okay, babe?” Phil handed him a sparkling water.

  “Huh? Yeah. Yeah, this was just totally off the grid for me. I thought sure I had checked my schedule.”

  “I added it the other day. There was an opening in your schedule, and I knew you’d want to meet these guys.”

  “I do. Point me toward our rep, and I’ll make nice.” No, he had checked his schedule at about 9:00 a.m., but he wasn’t going to argue that now. Phil had probably agreed to the party “the other day.” He’d just neglected to tell Ryan.

  That was one reason they’d never worked out. Phil wanted to control and schedule every second of his life. He liked to be able to slide from one thing to another, to work when a burst of creativity hit him.

  “Mike. The big beautiful redhead with the beard. He’s the account holder.”

  “Thanks.” He ducked away, heading for the mountain of a man with the infectious grin. “Hey, Mike? I’m Ryan. Phil says you’re to thank for getting my designs into production with you guys.”

  “I am.” Ryan’s hand was swallowed in one of Mike’s. Damn. “I’m damn pleased to be able to say I’ve met you.”

  “Same here. You really went to bat for me.” He’d heard about the negotiations with the owners.

  “Well, I have to admit, I’m a fan.”

  “Yeah? That’s awesome. Thank you.” He liked the guy already.

  “You’re welcome. So, have you come up this way often?”

  “I’ve been up a few times. I love this place, you know? It has all the outdoor sports and all the love.”

  “Yeah. I love the idea of a rainbow-friendly place.” Mike beamed at him. “It’s so nice when everyone is family.”

  “Right?” He could have liked Mike a lot, in a lot of ways, but now there was Bleu again. “So, is there anything you guys need from me this weekend?”

  “Do you have a date for the party Saturday night?”

  “I think I do. Can I be super honest?”

  “Ah, you’re taken, right? Of course you are.” Mike grinned sheepishly. “I can’t be blamed for trying.”

  “Well, the thing is, I just met up with an ex of mine, and we hit it off again. So I hope he’ll be my date, but if fate hadn’t stepped in, I totally would have been all over you.” He smiled, really meaning it. “Have you met Geoff? The chef behind all this amazing food?” Geoff deserved a shot at a hookup.

  “I haven’t. I just arrived. I am staying in the single cabin, though. In case magic happens.”

  “Well, a lot of the guys around here are magical. Good luck, man.” He held out one hand, and Mike shook again. “And I hope we can be friends.”

  That was good business, after all.

  “I would love that. I really have watched you for a lot of years.”

  “That rocks, man. I appreciate that. Do you shred?”

  “I’m a skier, more than anything. Snowshoes too.”

  “Oh, man, I haven’t snowshoed in years. That’s a workout.”

  They got to talking about snowshoeing, and yeah, he could be friends with Mike, no problem. The guy was smart, had some great ideas for innovations, and was far more involved in the snow sport business than just a salesman would be. They exchanged numbers, just so they could touch base.

  “Hopefully I’ll see you around. I’m going to be at the exhibition.”

  “Excellent!” He shook hands again. “I might stay a few extra days. Think about it. We can snowshoe.”

  “Yeah? I’ll see what I can swing. I’d love to show you a couple of tricks.”

  “That would be so cool.” They grinned and smacked each other on the back, and Ryan moved on. He ducked Phil to check in with Alan Grey, who was an old competitor. If the owners were in from Vermont, Mike would have introduced him. So he figured he was safe. He was off the hook soon.

  “Hey, man. Can we get the hell out of Dodge soon?” Alan looked a little wild around the edges.

  “You know it. Where’s the man?”

  Alan grimaced. “He stayed at the cabin. Said he might be coming down with something. Liar. He came down with a great big urge to watch Food Network.”

  “Mine said he needed to play with the dog.”

  “Bastards.” Alan glanced around. “Come on. There’s another way out.”

  “Yeah?” He nodded, and they used the bluster of the waiters as a cover to sneak out into the space between the smaller convention space and one of the barns. “Dude, you rock.”

  “I know. Look, I want to chat tomorrow, but I really need to go beat some butt right now.”

  “TMI.”

  “Yeah, yeah. He ditched me for Guy Fucking Fieri.”

  “Oops.” He clapped Alan on the back. “Night.” He checked his watch. Only an hour. Yay.

  He found Floyd out in the little dog run, Dan and Bleu standing out there, Bleu’s face like a thundercloud.

  “…don’t want you to do it. It’s dangerous. I’m worried about you. We’re still worried about you, you know. You don’t have anything to prove.”

  Uh, whoa. Ryan cleared his throat. “I saw Floyd and came to see if he wanted to play ball.”

  “Hey, Ry.” Bleu’s face lit up. “If you can find it under all the snow. He’s being stubborn.”

  Ryan wasn’t sure whether Bleu meant Floyd or Dan.

  “Okay.” He slid between them to give Bleu a kiss.

  Bleu leaned for a second and hummed.

  “Well, I’ll see you later, Bleu.” Dan waited a moment, then stomped off, muttering.

  “Okay, so. Why is he so worried, babe?” Ryan asked.

  “I’m leaving the cabin without being wrapped in Bubble Wrap?”

  “But he specifically said ‘don’t do it.’” Ryan wanted to know who the “we” were too.

  “Oh, I’m supposed to go with Stoney on the snowmobile Saturday. I could fall off, a bear could attack. Hell, a yeti could show up, seduce Stoney, and leave me stranded.”

  “Yodelayheehoo.” He blinked when Floyd tipped up his nose and howled. “You sure he’s not a Saint Bernard?”

  “Nope. Anything is possible. How was your party?”

  “It was endless. I met a nice sales rep, though. I’m going to try to hook him up with Geoff for a night of amazing antics.”

  “Yeah? Geoff needs ten or twelve orgasms.”

  “Right? Is Floyd ready to go in, babe? It’s freezing.” They didn’t need to be all icy.

  “I think so. I didn’t want to be lectured. I hoped coming out here would derail him.”

  “Ah. Good thought, bad execution. He’s probably waiting for you in the cabin too. Phil is just peeved enough to interrupt at mine too. Want to go to the great room at the house? We can beg for our nighttime snacks.” They’d had super fancy nibbles and booze at the party. He’d refrained.

  “Sounds perfect. We can find a quiet corner out of the way of all the hustle and bustle.”

  “Sounds fab. Do I need to help with Floyd?”

  “Nope. Floyd. Come.” Bleu moved to the gate of the run and opened it easily, Floyd trotting right to Bleu. Bleu attached the harness again, and boom. They were on their way.

  He liked this—wandering in the snow, Bleu on his arm. The main house looked warm and inviting, the lights pouring out onto the frost. They slid in through the foyer like ghosts, wanting a two-seater not too far from the fire. The smell of mulled cider hit them, as well as hot chocolate.

  “It smells like winter in here, you know? Not like Christmas, but like winter.”

  “I think so too.” Ryan took a deep breath, his eyes closed. Bleu had taught him that. Take away the view, concentrate on the touch or scent.

  Bleu’s fingers brushed his cheeks, watching him. “I love the apple-cinnamon smell the best, but the chocolate’s not bad at all.”

  “Well, let’s find a seat, and I’ll get us both a cup of cider.” He loved how people here were so much more casual than at the big ski parties. This was where couples were gravitating, where people played board games.

  “Is there a love seat or something?”

  “There’s this one right near the fire. Is that too warm?”

  Bleu shook his head. “Works for me.”

  Yeah, poor baby had been out there who knew how long with Dan. He steered Bleu toward the love seat, and they sank down, Floyd plopping onto the floor, nose toward the fire.

  “Oh, isn’t that lovely?” Bleu leaned toward the fire.

  “It is. The fireplace is this big thing. Have you felt the big carved mantel? It’s got deer and aspen trees and stuff.”

  “No. Show me.”

  God, that made him smile. He loved how Bleu needed to experience things, to “see” things.

  “Okay, here.” He helped Bleu around Floyd, who never moved, and off to the side of the fireplace. “Okay, don’t get too close to the center, as it’s really hot.” Ryan placed Bleu’s hands on the amazing carved piece. Bleu traced the shapes, one after another.

  “This is a tree. What’s this?”

  “A deer.”

  “Are they smaller than horses?”

  “Yep. They’re like really leggy dogs, and they have antlers, or branched horns.”

  “Huh. Neat.” Bleu explored the deer, face utterly fascinated.

  Why hadn’t anyone done stuff like this with Bleu? Hell, Ryan was making mental notes now about finding a petting zoo so Bleu could feel all the different animals.

  “Is there more to look at?” Bleu followed the mantel. “This is a star? A sun?”

  “It’s a star. The sun is a little high up for us to feel right now. Here’s a squirrel. They have a lot of mantels like this in Germany and Switzerland.” Ryan pushed Bleu gently to touch the squirrel’s tail.

  “It’s rough!”

  “That’s just how it was carved.”

  Bleu nodded. “That’s what I thought. It’s hard to do fuzzy in wood. Clay is easier.”

  “Is it? Because it starts out wet and soft?” He wanted to know all about what Bleu did. He knew Bleu had done it in college, but his stuff now was light-years away from that. Hell, Bleu had done everything in the art building while he was skiing. They had been wild lovers, but somehow, they hadn’t been friends.

  “It’s malleable. I mean, you can’t push wood around with your fingers, right? You have to use chisels and saws. I’d hurt myself. I have a friend that does woodwork. Nat. His hands feel like a Frankenstein.”

  “Ouch. I know an ice sculptor. He starts with a chainsaw.”

  “Yeah? I liked the snow. Sand is cool too. I can imagine that ice sculpting is a little intense.”

  “Is it weird to know it will just dissolve?”

  “Not for me. Once the work is over, it’s over. Even in clay, once it’s cast, it’s done for me. I never really connect with it again.”

  “Huh.” Ryan kinda got that. His work had been fleeting for so many years. The design stuff he got to touch and see, but the boarding was nothing but air and trophies he rarely looked at.

  “Is that weird to you?” Bleu asked.

  “No. No, in fact I think I really get that.” Ryan chuckled. “I’m the king of seconds in the air, remember.”

  “I know. I mean, I don’t, but I try to. Sometimes I feel like the world is an elephant, like in the story.”

  “I bet.” He took Bleu’s hands in his and squeezed. “Want some cider?”

  “I do, thanks.” Bleu nodded and moved toward the seat they’d picked out.

  He made sure Bleu was safely around Floyd before he said, “Be right back.” He headed for the drink and snack station.

  There were a couple of men standing around, flirting with each other madly. No question that they were going to bed together. Ryan grinned, thinking of Mike and hoping he got lucky too.

  He poured two ciders from the big silver coffee server, then garnished them with the orange slices and sugar cubes sitting nearby. There were nibbles too, so Ryan began building a plate.

  “You slipped out of the party. Naughty, naughty.” Phil stole a cookie from his plate. “Is that him? Are you going to introduce me?”

  “What?” Phil caught him flat-footed, making him scramble. “I met with the rep, man.”

  “He was very taken with you. Very. You did good. I’m just giving you shit.”

  “Thanks.” He was avoiding introducing Phil to Bleu, which wasn’t fair. “Come on, hon. You need to meet Bleu.”

  “I’d love to.” Phil smiled at him, winked. “I need to see who’s won your heart.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” He carried cups over, balancing them with a plate of food, laughing when Floyd’s tail thumped on the floor. “Bleu? I have someone for you to meet. This is Phil. Phil, Bleu.”

  Bleu smiled up and held out one hand, nowhere near Phil. “Hey, there.”

  Phil glanced at him with a hint of panic and, at his nod, leaned over and shook Bleu’s hand. “Pleased to meet you.”

  “Same with you. Would you like to join us?”

  Ack. Please let Phil say no.

  “Sure. Let me pull up a chair.”

  He glared at Phil, who gave him a beatific smile. Oh, fucker. Prurient fucker.

  “Cool.” Bleu’s face said something else, so he took Bleu’s hand to give him the cider.

  “I got munchies too,” Ryan said.

  “Yeah? What is there?” Bleu’s eyes moved so fast, like he was always searching. He hated the weight of glasses on his face, and he used to say that hiding his eyes was for other people’s comfort, not his.

  “Bacon things with puff pastry and cheese. Jalapeno poppers, kinda. Sliced ones. Uh, crab puffs? And artichoke dip on english muffin triangles.” Geoff was putting it out there.

  “Oh damn. That sounds amazing. Geoff must be in heaven.” Bleu’s laugh made him feel a little like they were the only two men on earth.

  “I bet he is. He loves bizarre appetizers.” The man loved little desserts too, so he would bet they appeared soon. Tiny was also pastry obsessed. It was adorable.

  “Here we go,” Phil said, scraping up a chair.

  Bleu sipped his cider, eyes closed now as he focused. Ryan wanted to know what Bleu tasted, wanted to know what Bleu tasted like after his drink. Would it be tart, cinnamony, spicy? All of the above?

  Phil was watching him when he glanced up, and he grinned a little. He didn’t want Phil to feel bad, but Ryan refused to hide how he felt.

  “Man, if you’d looked at me like that once in all the time we were dating, I’d have been lost.”

  Bleu blinked, trying to look at something, maybe him.

  Ryan just tried to laugh it off some. “We’re just very different folks, Phil.”

  Bleu tilted his head, obviously intrigued. “How does he look at me?”

  Phil glanced at Ryan again, then grinned widely. “Like you’re a steep slope of brand-new powder on Christmas morning.”

  Ryan was going to punch Phil right in the face. The one thing he had on Bleu was that, while the amazing son of bitch could feel him tense, could hear any little nuance in his voice, he couldn’t see his face.

  Bleu’s cheeks went pink, which was sweet, but he was still going to punch Phil in the balls. Just as he was about to invite Phil to leave, though, Mike from Tarlington came trotting over.

  “There you are! Ryan, can you come sign a board for me? We brought some in for the exhibition, and the brass think it would be a great giveaway.” Mike danced from foot to foot.

  “Uh….”

  “Go on, Ry. We’re cool. Seriously. I promise not to wheedle any secrets from your ex.” Bleu grinned at him, wicked as anything.

  “Uh-huh. You’re both buttheads.” He rose, nodding to Mike. “I’m happy to help. Point me to the board.”

  “It’s on display at the party. It’ll just take a minute.”

  He hated leaving Phil alone with Bleu, but business was business, right?

  Right. And Bleu wasn’t helpless, was he? No.

  Although, that wasn’t really what he was worried about.

  No, what he worried about was Phil and Bleu telling stories on him. Bad ones or good ones. He wanted to find his own footing in this new… thing he and Bleu had, for want of a better word.

  He wanted to start over, and he fully intended to have the ending of this story be different this time.

  Mike led him away, showing him off a little when they walked back into the party. He nodded at the right times, stood for the photo op while he signed the snowboard with a Sharpie.

  His head was in there with Bleu, though. No question.

  “Huh?” He shook his head to clear it, then met Mike’s eyes. “I’m sorry, what?”

  “Would you mind meeting an investor? Two minutes.”

  “Sure. Two minutes.” This was a business trip, after all. He would have to be firm after that, though. Bleu was sitting by a fireplace, waiting to be with him, and he wanted that too.

  Maybe even needed it.

  BLEU curled his feet underneath him and smiled in Phil’s direction. “It’s good to meet you. I’m sorry I was in a hurry the night you came up. I had been without Floyd here all day.”