“You got it. Just shoes.” He chuckled. “Does Floyd tell you if you’re not wearing shoes?”

  “No. Floyd cares not for my footwear.” Bleu sighed. “It’s weird, not having him here. Quartz is spoiling him for me.”

  “A puppy spa day?”

  “Yes. God, Floyd loves to be brushed and have homemade Geoff treats.”

  It sounded pretty damn fine, honestly. He liked Geoff’s treats.

  “Hopefully he’ll have pie or something tonight.”

  “Carb fiend,” Bleu teased.

  “I’m not on the circuit anymore. I can eat.”

  “Yeah?” Bleu reached out, stroking his belly. “You feel right.”

  “I work out like a monster because I’m vain.” He chuckled, his belly bouncing against Bleu’s hand.

  “Do I look like you remember?”

  God, that was a discussion to be had naked in bed.

  He studied Bleu, though, giving the question the consideration it deserved. “Well, from what I’ve seen, you’re you only… older, leaner, more defined. Like, you’ve grown into your face.”

  “Is that good?”

  “Yes.” He put all his admiration into the word. “Shoes. I’m starving.”

  “Right. Sorry.” Bleu put on his shoes, tugged his jacket on.

  “Is it Dan?” He needed to know who’d made Bleu so self-conscious. He hoped to hell it wasn’t him, because that was a long while ago. Bleu had never been one to dwell.

  “Is what Dan?”

  “The way you’re worried about being a burden.”

  “That’s why we broke up, you know. Dan and I… our breakup wasn’t a big deal. It was just an acknowledgment that I’m a giant redneck and he’s a high-dollar suit from Santa Fe.”

  “But that doesn’t mean you’re pointless, you know.” He’d never thought that, and he would feel like a massive ass if Bleu thought he did.

  “I just don’t want anyone to feel like they have to take care of me.”

  “Well, I want to take you to lunch.” He gave Bleu a spontaneous hug. “You did so good.”

  Bleu didn’t so much as stiffen; he grabbed hold and held on tight.

  Oh. Bleu was starved for touch. Ryan held on as long as he could, but he let go when a gaggle of teenage boys came in. He let one hand linger on Bleu’s arm. “Come on, babe.”

  “Yeah. I’m starving. So, tell me about Boulder. Do you have a house?”

  “I have a condo right now that I’m renting. I wanted to find the right house, so I have a little over six months to hunt.”

  “Oh neat. So you get where I’m coming from.”

  “I do.” He led Bleu, with shoes, out the door and to his SUV. The restaurant wasn’t far, but it wasn’t like walking was easy right now. The snow was beginning to fall again, making the world look like a fantasy land.

  “I feel the snow.” Bleu’s joy was palpable, and he stuck out his tongue to catch snowflakes.

  Ryan laughed, delighted. “What does it feel like, babe?”

  “Tiny kisses.”

  “Mmm. Cold kisses.” He chuckled some more, opening the car door for Bleu.

  “Uh-huh. But they’re sweet enough, right?”

  “Right.” He wanted to kiss that mouth, but he didn’t dare. Bleu wasn’t with him on that yet.

  “So are we going far?”

  “Nothing’s far in Aspen.”

  Bleu snorted. “No, I guess not. It’s just hard for me to tell.”

  “It’s literally within walking distance of the lower lot, but I have a VIP spot.”

  “Ooh la la.” Bleu laughed for him, leaned into him for a second. “What are you driving?”

  Curious man.

  “A GMC Terrain. I like how it drives like a car but off-roads like the sports utility it is.” He had a mom car.

  “Oh. Cool.” Like Bleu knew. “Is it tall or short?”

  “Uh. Middle, I guess. You don’t have to hoist up in, but it’s not low-slung.”

  “Good deal. I like knowing whether to bend or leap or slide.”

  “Lift and slide.” He waited to make sure Bleu got in.

  “Oh, leather. Sexy.”

  “Seat warmers too. Tell me if your butt gets too hot.” He loved his seat warmers, but Phil had hated them, saying they made him sweat.

  “Ooh. I love seat warmers!” Bleu bounced and clapped, just joyous as anything.

  He laughed, so happy it hurt, and got them hamburger bound. “You going to get a yard where you can play in the snow in Santa Fe?”

  “I need a yard for Floyd, yeah? But I need to be close to things too, you know, and I need studio space. It’s all complicated.”

  “Oh, I bet in Santa Fe studios are easy.”

  “Mmm. A lot of them are in lofts in casitas or garages, though. Not ideal.” Bleu shrugged. “And the good houses need cars. I’m not exactly car friendly.”

  “Mmm. Well, you’ll figure it.” He almost said we’ll, which was cart well before horse.

  “I will. I’m a smart dog.” Bleu explored the seat, the dashboard, fingers moving over everything.

  “You so are. Well, maybe Floyd is,” Ryan teased. He parked only minutes later at CP Burger. “Ta-da. Can you smell burgers?”

  “Onions. Mushrooms. Burgers. Bacon. Fries.”

  “Yeah.” He breathed deep. Beef. That was about it. He loved that about Bleu. The man lived in a slightly different world, one where all his senses besides sight were bigger, deeper. He wondered what sorts of things Bleu’s brain imagined.

  He couldn’t even fathom not knowing what colors were. Ryan shook his head. Hell, for all he knew, Bleu saw weird not-colors in his head. He certainly had no trouble with shapes.

  “Are we okay?” Bleu was turned toward him, expression curious. “Do we need to wait for something?”

  “Nope. I was just staring at you.” He might as well admit it. “Watch your step. The lot is slushy.”

  “Are you coming around?”

  “I am.” He hopped out and damn near went ass over teakettle himself. “Whoa. Be right there.”

  “Be careful. Lord, I’m sore in the thighs.” Bleu sat still, waiting for him.

  “I hear you. All that cross-country I’ve been doing has my ass sore.” He helped Bleu out of the car to move them inside. It was so much colder in street clothes.

  “Yeah? Is it different than what we did today?”

  “Oh, yeah. It’s a whole different motion. Kinda like an elliptical. Have you done that?”

  “I have. I’ve been in a gym a few times. I don’t love it, though. They’re loud and confusing.”

  “Well, cross-country is way less noisy. It’s astounding how amazing it is out there once you get away from all the trappings of people. We should go.”

  “Okay.” Just as easy as that. Okay.

  The warmth in the restaurant made him shiver. Lord. It was really crunchy out there.

  Bleu rubbed his arm, up and down, to warm him. “Poor frozen man.”

  “I know! It’s ridiculous. I’ve spent more time in boardrooms and studios than I have outside lately.”

  “That doesn’t sound like you.”

  “I know.” He would have to chew that one over. “I think I just realized it.”

  “I need my time in the studio, but I love being outside. That’s why—”

  They were greeted at the counter, and he waved at a table. The lady working nodded once she realized Bleu couldn’t see.

  “Why what?” Ryan asked when they were seated.

  “Huh?” Bleu pinked and grinned.

  “That’s why what? You got cut off.” No hiding.

  “That’s why Dan and I broke it off. He worries about everything—me going out, me breaking things, starting a fire, everything.”

  “I can see that.” He thought about Phil, and how everything was business over pleasure with that guy.

  “Yeah. I know that I’m a challenge, but I do okay.”

  “I think you do great. Stuff gets broken. God knows I’ve broken skis and poles, bones, my mom’s candy dish.”

  “I think I do great too. I wish I could drive. I think that would be the coolest.”

  “Yeah? I can probably make that happen.” He had a buddy who was a race driver who volunteered for an organization similar to his. “Nothing at speed, but it can be done.”

  “Really? Seriously? You think so?” Ryan loved the light that shone from Bleu’s face.

  “I do. Justin would totally do it. It’s all about coordinating a time.”

  “That would rock. I want to try. Just once.” Bleu’s fingers moved over the menu. “Is there a bacon cheeseburger?”

  “There’s a build your own, or a bacon and bleu. They have falafel, chicken or tuna too, and hot dogs.”

  “I’ll do the bacon and bleu and onion rings, then. Bacon and bleu for Bleu.”

  “Will tots do it? They have parmesan fries too, just no rings.” If Bleu wanted onion rings, they’d find a place.

  “Tots work just fine. They’ll go with the burger.”

  “Cool.” He wanted the parm truffle fries and the “Fire” burger. “The bacon and bleu does have caramelized onions.” He so rarely read the whole menu, but with Bleu, he needed to.

  “I can handle that. Have you had Geoff’s caramel onion and sausage flatbread? Oh my God.”

  “No. He’s holding out on me. I’ll ask for lunch maybe. I mean, not that he won’t be busy the next few days.”

  “Yeah, he’s catering the big party. I’m going to have to remember to leave them alone.”

  “Well, I bet they would still feed us.” He hated the idea that Bleu didn’t want to eat in the main dining room and might just hide in his cabin.

  “Yeah. I mean, they’ll bring me a meal too. Dan gets nervous eating in public with me.”

  “We’ll see what Geoff and Stoney say.” Quartz liked to have company when both his dads were working. “We could eat together, if they’re busy. Hell, we could eat together regardless.”

  Bleu smiled, ducking his head again. “I might not need it, if these burgers taste as good as they smell.”

  They ordered from the very kind counter lady when she came over, and he got them a kale salad to start too. He really was grindy hungry. Bleu might surprise himself. Skiing was more exercise than you’d think.

  It didn’t take long for their food to come, and they tucked into it like starving people.

  He had to admit that he didn’t see where Bleu’s ex got his worry. Bleu ate cleanly, easily, obviously unselfconscious. Never once had he been ashamed or worried to eat with Bleu.

  “What are you thinking about so hard?” Bleu asked him.

  “Huh? Watching you eat. I love how you love your food.” Phil had been constant in his vigilance. Too many carbs, Ryan. Too much food. Got to watch your competition weight.

  “Food is love, huh? You want a tater tot?”

  “I do. Want a truffle fry?”

  “Uh-huh.” Bleu reached out and cupped Ryan’s jaw, then fed him the bite with his other hand.

  He hummed, then pressed a fry to Bleu’s lips in return.

  It was intensely sexual, so intimate. And it was a goddamn french fry. He closed his eyes, feeling Bleu’s lips move against his fingers.

  Bleu’s tongue touched his fingers, tasting him so gently.

  He caught his breath, then laughed. “Tease.”

  “Sorry.” Bleu didn’t look particularly apologetic.

  “Uh-huh. I just bet you are.”

  “What? I am. I totally am.” Bleu ate another tot, a goofy smile on his face.

  “You’re something.” Something wonderful.

  “I’m a bunch of somethings. I’m special.”

  “You are.” He licked his lips, the fire sauce making them tingle.

  Bleu snorted for him, then nibbled on a bit of bacon from his burger. “Oh, this is good.”

  “Uh-huh. Damn good.” He grabbed another fry, his eyes on Bleu’s face. He could watch this for days. For weeks. Forever.

  He skidded to a thought-stop right there. He was always getting ahead of himself. Bleu needed to get to know him again. He needed to get to know Bleu. He wanted to learn how Bleu reacted to being touched, whether he still loved superhot showers and a ton of pillows bunched up on the bed.

  Ryan sure hoped so.

  Bleu leaned back in his chair, sighing. “God, that was the ticket.”

  “Yeah. I was hungrier than I thought.” He wiped a bit of mayo off Bleu’s face.

  “Thank you.” Bleu grinned. “That was a juicy one.”

  “It was. I had goo on my arm even. You did way better.” He didn’t see any reason not to heap praise on something that was obviously a sore spot.

  “Practice. Years of practice, baybee.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” He stretched, feeling his back pop and crack. Lord, it was hell to get old. “You want anything else?”

  Bleu’s eyes opened comically wide. “There’s no room for anything else, man.”

  “No, but we’ll have to come back. They have adult milkshakes.” Never let it be said that he didn’t know how to tempt Bleu. They’d had that going on for a long time.

  “Ice cream and booze? What’s not to like?”

  “Right?” He chuckled, patting his belly loud enough for Bleu to hear. “Not today, though.”

  “God no. You’ll have to bring me back.”

  Score. Ryan didn’t cheer, but he sure wanted to. “I can do that.”

  “Cool.” Bleu grinned at him, eye lines crinkling at the corners.

  “Yeah.” They sat until they finished their drinks. “You ready, babe? It’s just gonna get more and more crowded.”

  “Let’s go back. I want to play with your heated seats.”

  “You got it.” Oh, good man.

  “Cool.” Bleu grabbed his wallet from his pocket. “How much is the check?”

  “I got this one, babe. You can get the next one, huh?”

  “Are you sure? Thank you. I totally will.”

  “I am.” He reached over to squeeze Bleu’s hand. “It’s been a great day so far.”

  “Yeah. Thanks for letting me stay.”

  “I’m glad you did. Heated seats, ahoy!” He was looking forward to the drive up to the ranch—him and Bleu, together in the car. For a good while.

  Hell, maybe they’d sing.

  Chapter Nine

  BLEU hadn’t had so much fun in ages—they sang all the way up the mountain, with Ryan telling him about the terrain, the snow, in between songs.

  Ryan even saw a big buck elk on the side of the road, and Bleu made bugling noises for a while.

  “Okay, where did you learn to do that?” Ryan asked.

  “YouTube video.” He’d loved the sound, just loved how it was like a brass hound dog noise.

  “No shit? I didn’t know you could learn that from YouTube.”

  “You can learn a shit-ton from the internet. More if you can see, I bet. You’d be surprised how many sites aren’t accessible.”

  “Yeah. It’s amazing how many movies aren’t closed-captioned. Mom is having a harder time hearing, you know? All those years of machines.”

  “Yeah.” Ryan’s mom worked with those huge sewing machines, one of those places that were so dangerous, they wouldn’t even let him visit. “Is it real bad or just irritating?”

  “Mostly irritating. She has hearing aids, but she doesn’t like them.”

  “Ah.” He sort of felt sick, just at the thought. He didn’t know how not to be blind, but deaf? Christ.

  “Yeah. She’s okay, but she would love to watch all her movies with closed-captioning.”

  “That’s words on the screen, right?”

  “Yep. They say what the people on the show do. Well, they’re supposed to. Sometimes they just suck at typing.”

  “As bad as I do?”

  They both laughed at that, because as well as Bleu managed, in college he’d been… miserable. Miserable and utterly illegible.

  “Some of them, yeah. Maybe they have blind guys doing it!” Ryan was teasing him like mad.

  “Oh, I bet I would love that job. I would fuck with people constantly.” He’d make it seven seconds before he got fired.

  Ryan hooted, laughing so hard, Bleu was worried about Ryan driving. Kinda. Okay, Ryan was an amazing driver. At least that’s how it felt—no sudden stops and starts, it didn’t feel squirrely on the road, and he didn’t hear any stress in Ryan’s voice.

  Sometimes Dan was a little worried about snowy roads, which was silly. God knew they got snow in Santa Fe.

  He chuckled. Dan came from a flat stretch of the Navajo reservation. Maybe it was curvy mountain roads that made him nervous.

  “What are you laughing at, you?”

  “I was thinking about how you’re obviously comfortable driving in this weather.”

  “Oh, I love it. Shit, compared to driving in Chamonix or Turin, this is a breeze.”

  “Yeah?” He didn’t know how to parse that, but he knew that navigating some places was easier than others.

  “Both in the Alps, both with many more old European roads. They don’t have guardrails so much. It can be hairy.”

  “Wow. Wow, that’s cool. I went down into a kiva in Jemez that was like that.” He hadn’t known what to do, how to get back up and out. The ladders had been terrifying.

  “Yeah? That’s freaky for sure. I did the kiva at the Cliff Palace at Mesa Verde when I was a kid. My dad had to carry me out. Bad moment.”

  “Oh man. Really? This was hard. I made it, but I damn near killed myself.”

  “I just had a kiddie panic attack. It was full of people and yet dark.” Ryan laughed, the sound low and wry. “I think the one at Jemez is way scarier now. Those rungs are huge and far apart.”

  “You’ve been there?” How cool was that? Jemez wasn’t common knowledge, outside of New Mexico.

  “Yeah, I was in Los Alamos for an airbrush guy. He does great work. He suggested Bandelier and Jemez.”

  “What were you getting airbrushed?”

  “A snowboard. He was doing a painting for one that I was going to get sealed then.”

  “Sealed?” He wanted to know everything.

  “Yeah. If you use a paint option like airbrush, you have to get serious sealant. Lacquer. But it still has to be a snowboard.”