“I’m easy.” He wanted the italian, but he didn’t want to ask for help in front of Ryan more. He didn’t want anyone to think he wasn’t capable.

  “Zesty, babe?” Ryan just went ahead and dressed his salad.

  “Thank you. Yes.” Ryan remembered. God, that shouldn’t feel so good.

  “Cool. There’s garlic bread too. Want?”

  “Always. There’s no bad in bread, right?”

  “Nope.” Ryan put something just to the right of his hand. “Mac, salad, then bread.”

  “Thank you.” Salads were always a surprise. Could be cheese, could be radish. Maybe tomato, possibly just a forkful of dressing. Life was a mystery sometimes.

  The salad was kind of an italian chopped, with cheese and meat and yummy veggies. He dug in, eating happily, then focusing on the mac and gooey cheesiness. It had cooled just enough to gel back together, and God, it was good. Smokey, tender, perfectly melted.

  “Mmm.”

  The room was silent except for the sounds of silverware. That showed the talent of the cook.

  Ryan leaned in, lips near his ear. “I love to watch you eat, still.”

  His entire body went tight as hell. His heart began to race, and his cheeks felt hot. God, all this time he was spending with Ryan was killing him in the best way.

  His cock was rock-hard, throbbing in his jeans.

  He kept his head down, but he smiled. “Thanks.”

  God, he could smell Ryan. Right there. Rich and male, musk and soap. He closed his eyes and hummed, drawing it in.

  “Babe, please. You have to stop this. It’s not cool.”

  Ice water poured over him in a rush, and he stiffened. Floyd nudged his leg, worried, and he reached down to comfort and hide his face.

  “I’m sorry,” Ryan whispered, “but you’re married. I’ll back off too, I swear.”

  “What?” Married? Him? “What did you say?”

  “I said married. I saw your engagement in the papers, and he’s here with you….” Ryan trailed off, so his expression must have shown the gathering storm.

  “So what…. You thought I’d come out and about to fuck around? Blind guy can’t make it with his husband, so he’s…. God, I’ve never cheated on anybody. Not ever in my whole life.” He’d never told anybody he was married to Dan. No one.

  “I—no. No, I just think I was pushing you. I shouldn’t—”

  “No. I’m not—” Helpless. Stupid. Someone who needed taking care of. Even though that was all Ryan had done. Helping him. Christ.

  “Not what?” Ryan leaned into his space. “Not flirting right back at me?”

  “No.” Of course he’d been flirting. Ryan was fine to him. He grabbed at Floyd’s harness. He wanted to go home, and since he couldn’t do that, he wanted the cabin.

  “Then what is it? Not what?” Ryan grabbed his arm. Where was everyone? Why wasn’t someone saving his ass from himself?

  “I’m not a cheater. I’m not an asshole.” He was a good man. If he’d taken vows, he would never come on to another man.

  Were Geoff and Tiny just watching this?

  “No, your husband is. What kind of guy walks off and leaves you to go to supper or go to a gala?”

  “The kind of guy that’s not married to me.”

  “What?” Ryan stuttered a little. “Not married?”

  “No.” He pulled away. He wanted to go home. “Floyd. Come on.”

  The door out was behind him. Behind him.

  Floyd was perfect, leading him to the door, then down the steps without killing anyone. So good.

  Get to the cabin. Get to the cabin and close the door. God, Ryan thought he was…. Really? He’d never been a cheater. Not once. He was focused. No one had ever said he was fickle.

  And who had told Ryan he was married? To Dan? That explained why Ryan had been all mad at Dan, but that also meant the asshole thought he was a perpetual victim.

  Looked like things didn’t change. He still wanted Ryan. Ryan still felt sorry for him. He was still heading to sleep alone.

  He was going to go for his ski lesson tomorrow, and then he was going to hang out until the unveiling Saturday. Then maybe he’d hire a car to take him home to Santa Fe. Leave Dan to do whatever.

  Bleu was damned if he was going to be a burden on anyone.

  Except maybe Floyd.

  Chapter Eight

  GOD, it was early.

  Okay, it was only 8:00 a.m., but it was too early to be at the ski-out area on the special hill in Aspen, waiting for his client to show up. Ryan volunteered with a program where he taught people with physical disabilities to ski, and he wasn’t going to let down his client, even if he’d drunk a little too heavily last night and couldn’t remember to check the dude’s name on the roster. Eh, that’s what trainee volunteers were here to help with, right? Right.

  He should have known better than to start something with Bleu, but the hot son of a bitch had been staring at him with an expression of pure need. How could anyone fight that? Anyone?

  Especially when he didn’t want to fight it.

  But if he wasn’t married, what the hell was Bleu doing with that guy?

  Were they fuck buddies? Roommates? What?

  Argh. He shook his head, then checked his watch. Two minutes. Was he getting stood up?

  “Okay, Mr. Bridey. Just a few more steps.”

  “It’s a hell of a challenge without Floyd.”

  Bleu. Oh hell no.

  “Hey, Mr. Shields, I have your student for the day, Bleu Bridey.”

  Bleu stiffened, and Ryan sighed. “Hey, Bleu.”

  “Hey.” Bleu looked totally confused for a second. “So, this is awkward. Can someone take me back to the ranch?”

  “Sir? Mr. Stoney will be back at three o’clock….”

  “Can you give us a minute, Tyler?” The kid wasn’t at fault here. He was just a volunteer too.

  “Of course. Sure.” A volunteer and seventeen and terrified.

  He turned to Bleu. “I had no idea you were my client, Bleu. I promise. I wouldn’t do that to you.” That was important, that Bleu didn’t think Ryan was fucking him around.

  “Of course you wouldn’t.” Bleu kept his head down. “Obviously I didn’t know either. You’ve done your duty. You showed up. I’ll go find somewhere to wait for my ride back.”

  “Wait.” He didn’t touch, but he did move to cut Bleu off. “Look, you want to learn to ski. I heard you talking about it. Not only am I really good at this, but I have to earn my volunteer hours, so you’d be helping me out.”

  He could see the emotions cross Bleu’s face—eagerness and shame, curiosity and worry—and finally Bleu just shrugged. “You don’t have to pretend that I’m helping. I just want to see what it feels like once, okay? I’ve always wondered.”

  “I’m not lying. I have to do damn near fifty more hours of volunteer service.” He’d been hit with a great big fine for supposedly fixing his board during an event. He hadn’t done it, but the board had decided against him, and this was how he was working it off. The thing was, he was damn good at teaching people with physical limitations, and he loved it. God knew he had experience and a shit-ton of respect for people willing to get out on skis. “So can we do this?” At Bleu’s silent nod, he went on. “We’ll get you used to the skis and the equipment. Then we’ll do a few passes before we hit the slopes.”

  He wasn’t sure what was safest for Bleu—leading the man down the hill or letting Bleu go in front and steering him from behind. They would figure it out after the start-and-stop training. That told him more about potential skiers than anything else.

  “Yeah. Let’s try this.” Bleu sounded… diminished somehow? That wasn’t going to work, not at all. Bleu wasn’t married. That meant the man was fair game, and God knew he was interested.

  He had some shit to make up for, old and new.

  Good thing he was charming and a good teacher.

  “Come on and suit up. You’re not dressed for it.” He took Bleu’s hand and put it on his arm.

  Bleu followed along, quiet, careful, and Ryan told himself to breathe. Bleu would relax. He loved to play, to learn new things. Ryan just needed Bleu to go with it.

  They hit the locker room, where he helped Bleu change into a two-piece suit and boots. “Nice. You look like a pro.”

  Bleu flexed for him, posing playfully.

  “Seriously. You’re really fit. Now, there’s gloves and a helmet, and you’re gonna feel weird wearing the goggles, but you totally need them to protect your eyes.”

  “From what?” Bleu put the helmet on, then the gloves.

  “Injury. I’ve found that blind people especially open their eyes and try so hard to see. You may not be able to use them like I do, but if you injured something, it could cost you a lot of time and money. You ready to try them?” He wanted Bleu comfortable with them on and off.

  “I guess. Yeah. I don’t want to be hurt.”

  “Okay, feel their weight.” He walked Bleu through every piece of equipment there. They would do it again before they left the shed, and again on the bunny slope.

  Bleu was a good student, even if he wrinkled his nose at the goggles. “How do you feel anything?”

  “Trust me, you do. You feel a lot less with a visor helmet, but for serious downhill, that’s a must.” Bleu would get it.

  He walked Bleu through stepping into the binding, and checked that he had the right fit. “We’ll do this again out on the snow. Just remember to make sure they fit correctly. If not, you have too much snow on your boots, and they won’t stay on.”

  “There’s a lot of parts. No wonder no one wants to do this with me.”

  “You mean at home?” When Bleu nodded, he snorted. “You can find a volunteer almost anywhere. Just call the ski mountain. You ready to head out into the snow?” That would cheer Bleu right up.

  “Sure. Let’s do it.” That was Bleu, always ready to try.

  He took Bleu outside, and Ryan carried the skis. Bleu might brain someone. His ex was still too quiet, but the crunch of snow under his boots finally made him smile.

  “You’re going to love this, you know,” he muttered.

  “I’m not scared.”

  “Good.” They headed out to the bunny slope, no lift needed. In fact, it was half-deserted, because for two hours the slope was for disabled folks instead of kids and beginners. “Okay, so now we put the skis down perpendicular to the slope. Can you feel the gravity pulling?”

  “Yeah. Yeah. That I get.” Bleu pointed down the hill, unerringly.

  “Okay, so here’s the ski, front and back of the binding.” He showed Bleu all the steps, which had to be done by feel, and how to step into the downslope ski first.

  Ryan started with the basics, and Bleu followed the steps like a champ. Way sooner than even he had expected, they were ready to start. “Okay, this slope kinda ends up taking you circular. It’s not a lot of downhill. You know how to stop. I think you’re gonna be good enough I can steer from behind, but I need you to listen and do anything I tell you.”

  “I can do that. I’m good at directions.”

  Yeah. Yeah, Bleu was. Bleu’d been following audible directions his entire life.

  “I know. I’m seriously pleased at how quick you got all this. Okay, here we go.”

  They made it down without face-planting, which was a success, even if Bleu fell when he tried to stop.

  Ryan whooped. “You did it! Remember what I told you about the latch on the binding when you fall?”

  “Make sure the lever is down.” Skis popped loose when you fell, if you went down hard enough. A skier had to know how to put them back on.

  “Wanna go again?”

  “Uh-huh. Please. Can we?” Look at that smile.

  That was what he wanted. “We so can. Okay, now you learn how to get back up the bunny.”

  “All this learning.” Bleu chuckled. “Show me.”

  They stayed out on the slopes the whole time, but when kids started whizzing by them, Ryan called a halt. “Come on and get a cookie and some hot chocolate. I’ll text Stoney and tell him to fetch you and bring you back.”

  After a snack and a visit. Possibly a beer.

  “Did I do okay?”

  “You did amazing.” He threw an arm around Bleu and smacked a kiss on his red cheek. “Okay, skis off over here.”

  “Right.”

  Bleu was going to be sore tonight, he’d bet. He wondered if he offered to massage those thighs what Bleu would say.

  Probably no. He’d really upset the guy, and he couldn’t say he didn’t know why. He could be forgiven his assumption, but the idea that Bleu would cheat was definitely absurd.

  Bleu was the most committed man he’d ever known.

  He managed to get Bleu unwrapped and sat down, a cup of cocoa and a plate of cookies in front of him. The long pale hair was wild, coming out of his ponytail. Bleu was a little windburned, but the blue eyes were lit up and dancing.

  “That was the best!”

  “Better than tubing?”

  “Yeah. That was fab, but I never got to steer. This I felt like I was doing. Although tubing was faster. That was cool.”

  “Yeah, speed can be great. You here for a few more days?” Please let it be so.

  “I have to stay through the party Saturday night. I’m not booked for another few days after that, so I may hire a car to take me home later, if Stoney has a place for me.”

  “Yeah? Did you ride up with Dan?” He was being greedy, but he would love to ski again with Bleu.

  “Yeah, I did. He was coming up anyway, so he volunteered.”

  “Ah. Well, we could go down to Sunlight Mountain and do another session. I could get you on a better hill there.”

  “You don’t have to, Ryan. Thanks for the offer, though.”

  “I had a ball today.” Bleu was slipping through his fingers already, now that they were off the slopes.

  “Me too. It was… it was amazing. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. I knew you could do it. You know… I can drive you back to the ranch. I have to go anyway.” It wasn’t like he’d texted the ranch yet, right?

  “Do you want to? I mean, if you don’t want to….”

  “Don’t, Bleu. I want to. Hell, let’s go have a beer, have some food before we go back. I owe you an apology.”

  “I—” Those eyes moved back and forth, Bleu clearly thinking too hard. “Okay, but no place fancy, okay? I’m too tired for not spilling.”

  “Shit, I’m thinking a burger and fries.”

  “I like a burger.”

  “I knew that about you.” He checked his phone real quick, because places in Aspen changed so quickly. CP’s would work. “There’s a good burger place a stone’s throw away.”

  “Perfect. Do you remember that place in Boulder? The Sink?”

  Did he remember? Fuck, he’d fallen in love watching Bleu lick his lips after eating the barbecue burger. “God yes. They had the best pizza too. I feel a little like I’m cheating on Beau Jo’s to say it too. Remember that rafting trip to Idaho Springs?”

  “I was good at rafting!” Good at it and fearless.

  “I sucked at picking hotels. God, it was hot in there, and the stairs!”

  “The asshole rednecks having a fight right outside our door.”

  “I know. You were super brave.” Bleu had marched right out to the stairs that went up over their room and screamed. A lot.

  That had totally gotten Bleu laid.

  They both laughed, and he took Bleu’s hand to take him to the changing room. Back to street clothes for supper.

  “You’re good at teaching, you know?”

  “Yeah? I like it. I mean, I don’t think I would be good at teaching dozens of tourists at a time, but this kind of instruction? It’s super fulfilling.” He meant it too. His life had changed a lot.

  “Good. I’m still studio guy, more than anything.”

  “Yeah. You do all right, huh?”

  “I do, believe it or not. I hit about two years after we graduated. I was doing miniatures for a production company, and this producer fell in love. With my work, not me. Although we’re friends, still.”

  “That’s too cool.” Thank God they hadn’t hooked up. He was seriously planning his attack on Bleu’s heart. If he’d ever been worried Bleu needed a keeper, he wasn’t now, and he got why Bleu had left him. No one wanted to be a burden, and to see how Bleu was with Dan made Ryan ashamed of how scared he’d been.

  “Thank you. I was proud. Still am.”

  “I bet. I can’t wait to see your statue. Geoff told me.”

  “It’s a huge surprise. I hope it’s right. Ford liked it.”

  “I’m sure it is, babe. I mean it. Your work was stunning years ago.” It had to be better now.

  “I have to find a new studio in Santa Fe. I’m still working from Dan’s.”

  “Yeah?” Ryan frowned. “Are you living there?”

  “Not anymore, no. I’m renting a little place near the Plaza. I’m trying to decide where I want to buy.”

  “Ah.” His heart pounded a little. Bleu really was a free agent. He had no idea what that meant for him, but it gave him hope.

  “I know. My folks say I ought to come home to Austin, but… I’ve been on my own, and I’m used to the mountains.”

  “I’m back in Boulder.” He said it casually, hoping he saw interest on Bleu’s face.

  “Oh, wow. So you went back where it all started. Is it still wonderful?”

  “It is. The hiking is still magical.” He looked Bleu over. “Your shirt is all inside out.”

  Bleu pinked but rolled his eyes, then stripped the shirt off, leaving him bare-chested. Jesus. So damn pretty.

  Ryan’s fingers curled against his palms. “If it wasn’t a graphic sweatshirt, it would be fine. Exposed seams are very in.”

  “Yeah, I’m blowing the ‘prove that you’re not a worthless asshole’ thing, though.”

  “What?” Ryan blinked, taken aback. “You’re amazing. You skied like an advanced beginner without even trying.”

  “Now I need to focus on dressing myself.” Bleu laughed, but there was some embarrassment in it.