It’s not fancy, but it doesn’t need to be. Because the draw here is the way you feel like you’re immersed in the woods, the entire back wall of the cabin being made of glass.

  We’ve done nothing since we arrived at ten a.m. other than get in bed, have sex, read books, and drink spiced wine. Later, Lark will be baking that banana bread that makes my mouth water, and then she brought the ingredients to make lasagna together. It’s … well, fuck, it’s extremely domesticated.

  And I fucking love it.

  Snuggled against her in this cabin, I’ve done more watching her read and observing the forest outside than I have reading my own book. I can’t help it, though. It’s our first vacation, technically, even though we’re only here for a night. It’s the first time I’ve ever gone away with a girl, which feels huge.

  Adjusting to us as a couple, rather than fuck buddies, has been relatively, shockingly easy for me. I saw Lark hit some tension and awkwardness on the drive here, and I knew she was warring with herself. So I just threw on some ridiculous song or a throwback we’d heard at the bar in our college days, and her worry would melt away.

  “You’re staring at me again,” she mutters, flipping another page on her Kindle.

  “Can’t help it, doll. You’re so damn sexy.”

  My hand meanders up under her sweater.

  “The round of sex and blow job I gave you weren’t enough to stave you off for a while?”

  Nibbling her earlobe, I groan. “Not when it comes to you.”

  She’s in my bloodstream, and I need more.

  “I’m reading. And my book is very good.” She swats me away but doesn’t detangle herself from my limbs that wrap around her.

  “Tell me what it’s about.” From the snippet I saw, I might enjoy it. Or enjoy her reading it to me.

  “It’s a secret.” But I see the blush warming her cheeks.

  “Are you … are you embarrassed that you’re reading a book with sex in it? Doll, you talk about sex on the radio all day long.”

  Her eyes meet mine, and she puts the Kindle down. “I’m not embarrassed. I just … there is something about a book that I want to enjoy privately. Telling someone else, who won’t even read it, the entire plot kind of ruins it for me.”

  I smooth a thumb across her jawline. “So secretive.”

  “I am not. I’m an open book. Like you just said, I talk about sex on my podcast all day long.”

  “But that’s not the vulnerable part of you,” I blurt out.

  Her background is something I’ve wanted to pry open, but I know I need to proceed with caution. Lark is as skittish as a wild horse, and if I push too fast, she’ll bolt.

  Those baby blues flick down and then back up. “You’re right. It’s not.”

  “Tell me everything then.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Out with it. You have your secrets, you bottle them up tight and don’t let a lot of people see them. But I want to see them. I want to see you. All of you.”

  Lark is quiet for a moment, studying my chest like it’s a complex math problem. “All of me, the truth about my life? It’s not pretty.”

  “I don’t care. Still want to hear it.” For the first time in my life, I’m not running away because of a female’s complications.

  I’m running blindly into it, hoping I can help carry the load without knowing if I’m truly capable of that. But like I told her, I want to try.

  “I told you before that my mom died while having me. I’ve only ever seen pictures of her, and the short clips my grandma had from old home videos. I don’t have any memories of her aside from that, no one recounted wonderful stories about her childhood or told me how much she would have loved me. That was because my dad left, practically from the time I took my first breath. He’s was always more dedicated to climbing the corporate ranks than his family. I have a feeling it would have been that way even if she had survived the birth. Anyways, he left me with my grandma, she died when I was five. My uncle Travis took over then, and I’d see my dad about once a year. Travis was nice enough but detached. He didn’t want a kid. Sure, he did his duty of making sure I had clothes, food, that my permission slips were signed. But we never talked. Until I was old enough to know that wasn’t normal, I just thought that’s how life was. It sculpted me to be the person I am now; this detached, bitter person who doesn’t trust or know how to love. I grew up with almost zero physical or emotional contact from the people who were supposed to love me the most. Navigating life alone has been …”

  She breaks off on a sob, a tear sliding down her cheek. I wipe it away, my chest feeling like an elephant is crushing it. This is what’s beneath the surface of her skin? No wonder Lark doesn’t want anyone getting within twenty feet of her. The people who were supposed to nurture her from day one failed to ever do so.

  “I’ve never been loved, not the way you have. It’s turned me into this person who doesn’t understand how normal relationships work. And yet, I’m not unhappy. Sure, I feel strange in a room full of people who have always known normal contact and emotions, but I like my life. I’m generally happy. I know I’ve missed out on a lot but if I don’t focus on it, I don’t feel it pounding on my skull. That’s why this terrifies me, Collin. Because you have a choice not to commit, but you know what it looks like when people successfully do. I’m scared I’ll never be able to do this right. I’m … I’ve always been scared that no one will know how to love me.”

  Everything swirls in me like a tornado, ready to fight for her and with her; anger for how she was mistreated, upset for the little girl who wasn’t loved properly, immense shame for ever thinking that Lark was a bitch because she liked to be.

  “Let me be the one,” I whisper, my ears not fully believing I said the words out loud.

  Quickly, quicker than I ever thought possible, I am falling for this woman. This frustrating, incredible, bossy, beautiful, once-in-a-lifetime woman.

  Lark’s eyes go wide, and her mouth drops open. With a tear still glistening on her cheek, she truly does look like the nickname I’ve given her.

  “I don’t know how to do this relationship thing either. But I do know how to support someone. I know what true love looks like. I’ve grown up in a house that gives emotions and talks about them freely. Let me be the one to help. To show you. We can do it together.”

  “Never in a million years did I think it would be us.” She breathes.

  “Maybe that’s why we fought it for so long.”

  A shocked gasp from those rosy lips. “I was thinking the same exact thing.”

  When my mouth covers hers, it’s slow and searching. I take my time, exploring her mouth with my tongue and lips.

  As we spend the night together in the cabin, I try my absolute best to do what I promised. Learn about her, support her, make her laugh, and show her that she’s worthy of everything she’s been robbed of.

  With each passing hour, my heart beats harder, the knot of tension tightening in my chest. Because I can’t mess this up. I have to be perfect for her. Lark deserves that. And if I can’t do it …

  Well, I don’t even want to know the outcome if I can’t.

  21

  LARK

  The Cast About Christmas party is always a fun time, even if I begrudgingly admit that.

  Extremely interesting and eye-opening, considering the entire office, including our bosses, get shit-faced, but fun, nonetheless.

  Nic and Kelly rented out a bowling alley this year, one of those new high-tech ones that boast a top-shelf bar and projector screens covering all the walls playing various music videos and sports. So far, we’ve bowled one game and are on the way into our second, with Eliza beating everyone’s asses to the shock of … well, everyone.

  “When is Secret Santa?” Kurt asks.

  “Oh my God! We were supposed to do it before the second game!” Eliza, who has clearly had a cocktail or three, smacks her forehead.

  Kennedy, one of the more popular podcasters who came in just for the party, chimes in. “Well, let’s do it now, put the game on pause for a minute. Not like we don’t have all night. Plus, my gift is kick-ass.”

  “Guys, come on, we’re doing Secret Santa!” Eliza screeches across the space.

  Most of the audio guys stomp over with their laser tag gear still firmly cemented, not taking their heads out of their fake shooting game.

  “Men.” I roll my eyes as I sit down next to Kelly.

  “Lighten up, grump,” she teases me, and I can tell she’s had a cocktail or three as well.

  Collin takes his seat across the circle, and I can’t help but stare at him. We’ve been drinking tonight, and he has his horny eyes on for everyone to see. Part of me feels like something dangerous is going to happen tonight; we’re going to get caught fucking in the bathroom or break a whole bunch of shit, mauling each other in one of our apartments.

  But for now, he just sits across the group from me, and I can feel his eyes lick flames up my body.

  “All right, this is how it works, when I call your name, you go to the pile of presents on the table here and look for the one labeled with your name. Open it, everyone sees what it is, then your Secret Santa will reveal themselves.”

  “We know how Secret Santa works, Eliza.” Kennedy rolls her eyes.

  “Hey, none of that.” Kelly cuts her a look. “First of all, let’s all give a huge round of applause to Eliza for putting on this amazing party!”

  We all clap, some of the guys whooping as Eliza blushes and pretends to bow.

  “And I’ll be going first.” Kelly winks at us all and stands to walk to the gift pile.

  She picks out a present wrapped in bright green paper, tears it off, and laughs hysterically when a bunch of boss bitch merchandise falls out.

  “Who was it?” she asks, marveling over a mug that says CEO BABE.

  Kurt raises his hand. “Right here.”

  Everyone laughs at how good of a gag gift it is, and it’s not like whoever got Kelly was going to get her a real present. The woman has more money than God; this is all in good fun.

  Nic is up next, then Eliza takes her turn, with some of the audio guys, Kennedy, and a couple other podcasters following after them.

  When Eliza calls Collin’s name, he stands with the kind of swagger and bravado that makes it seem like we can all see his huge dick. Fuck, he’s so cocky … and it’s such a turn-on.

  “What is this?” Collin asks, picking up the rectangular present covered in gold foil with his name on it.

  The entire group stares in anticipation, some of the men trying to guess at it with indecent suggestions like a dildo or Viagra. Meanwhile, my heart is in my throat because this could go so many ways once he opens it.

  When he tears the paper off, Collin throws his head back and laughs. “The fucking Kama Sutra. You’re kidding me, right?”

  Our coworkers look around the group, trying to find the culprit who gifted the book to Collin.

  I pretend to take a seated bow, and everyone breaks out in giggles and gasps.

  “You?” He scoffs.

  “I thought it would be the perfect gift. Spice up your sex life and podcast, lord knows the women in your bed are probably getting tired. Let the real sex goddess help you, amateur.”

  Those green eyes heat with lust and challenge, exactly like I wanted them to.

  “Oh God, you guys are so bad to each other.” Eliza giggles.

  Collin turns the book over and reads some of the description on the back. “Care to test it out with me, Bradley?”

  No one knows that I’ll be doing just that, probably tonight, so they think we’re playing our typical battle of wit. “I don’t think you could handle my flexibility, Machlan.”

  “Oh, don’t sell yourself short.” His tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip and my sex clenches.

  “All right, you two. We’re bordering on something too inappropriate for office talk. Collin, sit. Lark, you’re up.” It’s a good thing Nic breaks up the moment because we might have launched ourselves at each other, the sexual tension is so palpable.

  I stand on legs too shaky for their own good and walk to the present table, with only a couple gifts left. I pick up the small box that’s wrapped, albeit haphazardly, in wrapping paper with Santa’s face all over it.

  Gingerly tearing the paper off, I have a goofy smile. Most of the gifts tonight have been the gag kind, contributing to the fun atmosphere of our office, and I fully expect mine to run along those lines.

  I open the lid of the small box and gasp. Inside is a tiny, what I assume to be diamond, encrusted mic. Just like the one I talk into so many times a month. It’s dainty, gold, and beautiful. It’s the perfect kind of thing that I’d absolutely wear. And probably completely inappropriate for this gift swap.

  “Who was my Secret Santa?” I ask when I finally regain the ability to breathe.

  When I lift my head, Collin is staring straight at me. “Guilty.”

  “You … this is … it’s too much.”

  He shrugs, even though everyone is looking at us. If they hadn’t assumed something was going on before, they probably do now. The two of us can’t take our eyes off each other.

  “Dude, that’s definitely out of the budget,” Kurt blurts and then lets out a groan when Eliza reaches over to flick him so he shuts up.

  “Thought you’d like something like that. You don’t strike me as much of a gag gift kind of woman.” His eyes are too serious for the moment.

  I try to speak but can’t come up with words, and I know everyone is staring at us.

  “Collin being serious is seriously romantic.” Kennedy whistles low like she’s impressed.

  “This is a strange turn of events, but at least you two aren’t ripping each other’s throats out.” Nic breaks the tension once again.

  Everyone laughs it off, and I let my eyes fall to my lap, joining in on the chuckle. But in my chest, my heart is swelling to three times its size. I’m the grump on his redemption arc. I’m falling in love during Christmas and seeing the good in people.

  Jesus Christ, what is Collin Machlan doing to me?

  Later, when everyone is singing drunk karaoke, Collin corners me in the darkened hall by the bathroom.

  “Want me to help you put it on?” He’s close, close enough that my nipples harden as his chest brushes the front of my shirt.

  I’m still holding the box. I can’t seem to let it go. “Anyone could have guessed we’re seeing each other. This gift is … intimate.”

  “Knew the minute I opened that little slip of paper and it had your name on it that I could never get you a gag gift.”

  “Technically, I didn’t get you a gag gift, either.”

  “Don’t I fucking know it. We’re using that book tonight.” His eyes heat as his fingers trail up my arm.

  Anyone could walk back here right now, which makes this more than innocent flirting so heart-pounding.

  “I was hoping you’d say that.” I press up on my toes, fisting his shirt in my hand and my lips inches from his.

  “Let me put the necklace on you. I want to see it around your neck whenever I try to stare at your tits.” That perfect-for-radio voice is husky.

  I turn my back to him, sweeping my hair over my shoulder and handing him the box. He audibly unclasps it and slides the chain around my neck, his fingers brushing the skin at my nape. I shiver, unable to help it. When I feel him staring over my shoulder at the mic glistening at the base of my throat, I look down to see it too.

  “Perfect.” He plants a soft, open-mouth kiss on my neck. “When you’re ready to get out of here, just give me the wink. I can’t wait to get you home.”

  My knees go weak as he releases me and walks out of the hallway.

  Uh-oh, I think I’m in trouble.

  A Christmas miracle has socked me straight in the heart, and I’m kind of celebrating it.

  22

  LARK

  A day later and the dreaded, for me, and anticipated, for almost everyone else in the world, holiday arrives.

  Christmas Eve is here, with all of its traffic, music blaring, people scrambling for last-minute gifts, and having to see family you hate but have to make nice with in the spirit of the holiday. If there is one benefit of having zero family, it’s that.

  Except this year, I have someone in my life. Someone who is all out thrilled that Santa, even though he’s known he isn’t real since he was seven, is about to come down the chimney and deliver presents.

  Collin sings obnoxiously while cooking us grilled cheeses.

  We’ve transformed from bantering workplace nemeses, to tolerable friends-with-benefits, to two people denying that they were falling for each other, to a couple who has no idea how to navigate a relationship but trying to figure it out together. Something unlocked between us at the cabin after I spilled my entire past to him. It’s like we’ve entered a new level of the game, and I just want to stay alive long enough to enjoy it.

  Collin has an all-out Christmas extravaganza with his family over the next few days. He invited me to come—a couple of times actually—and I always declined, citing the reason that I don’t like the holidays. But it’s so much more than that.

  One, we’re just starting out. I have zero idea where this will go or if I’ll be able to make it last. Spending a holiday together feels too fast, too soon. Plus, I truly don’t know how to celebrate Christmas with other people, considering I’ve rarely done so in my life. Am I supposed to introduce myself to his parents as the girl who sucks his cock daily? Has Collin told them about us? I know I haven’t breathed a word of it to anyone but Renée. Not like I have many other people to tell. So would they even be aware of who was showing up to eat the Christmas ham with their son? Do people eat ham on Christmas? See, I don’t even know how it’s done.

  What if his family hates me? What if they’ve heard stories about our office antics, or worse, listened to a podcast where I explicitly describe my sex life before their brother and son? Thinking about meeting Collin’s mom makes me quake in my boots. Of course, I know who Professor Machlan is, and I am just not the type of girl who has ever been brought home to meet the parents.