“I know, they practically threatened me that I needed to get back with you.”

  “And about Monday …” She bites her lip.

  “You deserve that, don’t even start. You won fair and square, it was just shitty timing with … keeping us hidden. You know that I always wanted you to win. You’re going to kill Mondays. And I’m going to be right there with you to hear it.”

  “It was the podcast, wasn’t it?” The entire crowd laughs at her question.

  “Of course it was. Do you know me? I’m a sucker for an on-air apology and declaration of love.” My smile feels too bright, too big.

  This feels surreal, and yet, I have the woman I love in my arms again.

  “And of a grand gesture,” she teases, but her voice holds no malice.

  “You went and made the most public gesture possible. You had to know I was going to try and upstage you.” I wink, and the crowd erupts into applause.

  I put my lips back where I want them, and Lark’s eyes dilate with lust. But there is something more there now … love.

  “After this is over, I’m taking you to bed.”

  “I love you.” She gives me a chaste peck, then turns to address the crowd. “All right, while everyone probably got way more of a show than you bargained for, pardon our interruption and we’ll get back to the regularly scheduled programming.”

  Everyone cheers and there are more than a few cameras pointed in our direction. This is definitely going viral, and I couldn’t care less. Let the entire world know that self-proclaimed bachelor Collin Machlan is indeed pussy-whipped. And damn happy about it.

  Someone steps up to the mic. “Can you tell us the inspiration behind all of the Christmas podcasts?”

  Lark just starts laughing, and I wonder if she’ll tell all her listeners about her Scrooge attitude.

  The rest of the event is filled with questions mostly about our relationship and sex life since we’ve been so open about our individual ones in the past. It’s the most enjoyable Cast About event I’ve ever done, but maybe that’s because she’s holding my hand the entire time.

  We don’t even discuss going home separately. When my hand slides into hers, it’s an unspoken agreement that she’s getting in my car.

  The ride home is quiet, both of us digesting what happened on that stage.

  “This feels too perfect.” She smiles down into her lap.

  “Well, we fought for the entire month of December in some way, shape or form. So I guess this is the honeymoon period they’re always gushing about.” Makes sense to me.

  “I’m sorry.” She says it again.

  “You already said that. And are forgiven. Just remember, next time you want to self-sabotage, that I’m on your side. I’m with you, every step of the way. Even if I’m bitching and moaning, I’m there.”

  “I’ve missed you.” Her hand strokes up and down my thigh.

  “Fuck, doll, you’re really going to make me pull this car over in the freezing cold, aren’t you?”

  “Would we be us if we could keep it in our pants?”

  No, no we would not be. That’s how I end up nearly freezing my nuts off as she straddles me in the driver’s seat on the side of the road.

  I wouldn’t want a relationship any other way.

  30

  LARK

  Collin and I spend the last four days of Cast About’s holiday break in bed, rarely leaving the apartment.

  If this is what happens when we’re apart for a week, I don’t even want to think about what will happen for the rest of our lives. The guy is like a famished, ravenous wild animal, though I’m not much better.

  We contort ourselves into so many positions for so many hours that I’m sore in places I didn’t know muscles existed as I walk into the office on the first morning back.

  Nic and Kelly required a staff meeting to regroup in the new year, so here we are, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, as we pull into a parking spot together. Collin slept over last night, and we left together, each of us toting a to-go coffee thermos.

  When he rounds the car to help me out and keep his hand in mine, I wince.

  “Sore?” His grin is the shit-eating kind.

  “I’m surprised you didn’t break your dick in that reverse-cowgirl last night. You basically had me face down ass up, but on top.”

  “And damn, did it feel fucking incredible.” Collin reaches down to adjust himself as he opens the back door to Cast About for me.

  “You can’t be serious; your cock is immortal. It’s like the vampire that won’t die no matter how much it’s drained.” I roll my eyes.

  But hey, I’m not complaining. That invincible penis is all mine, and it’s a beautiful thing.

  “Team Edward for life, doll.” He thumps himself on the chest.

  “You’ve seen every Twilight movie multiple times, haven’t you?” I eye him suspiciously.

  “Of course I have.”

  That has me throwing my head back and laughing as we walk into the pit.

  “Oh my God, the lovebirds.” Someone starts to clap, and then all our coworkers join in.

  Collin gives a not-so-humble wave while I blush and rush to my desk. It’s not like I’m hiding us anymore, but I’m not about to be the kind of person who shows a ton of office PDA.

  “I can’t believe it. Still.” Eliza gapes at us.

  “Thought you’d rip each other’s heads off before this. Are pigs flying over the building, can someone check?” Kurt asks.

  “Har har, get your jokes in now. Soon we’ll be old news, and you’ll all be tired of me having flowers delivered to Lark every month.”

  I wrinkle my nose. “I don’t love flowers. Chocolates, now expensive chocolates I’ll take.”

  “Noted.” He sends me a wink.

  “We’re actually witnessing the blossoming of a relationship, in the flesh.” Kurt marvels at us like we’re zoo animals.

  “You guys know we’re not going to fuck in the office, right?” I narrow my eyes at the audio guys who are giving me pervy eyes.

  “Staff meeting! Everyone in the conference room, I brought bagels,” Kelly singsongs as she clacks by us in her heels.

  We all get up and move to the glass-walled room, the guys diving over themselves for a bagel.

  “Cream cheese or butter?” Collin asks as we fall to the back of the pack.

  “I guess we never did discuss that.”

  “What?” he asks.

  “Our preferences. We didn’t do any of the favorite color, band, show type of bullshit.” I shrug.

  “Well, we’ll get to do it now. Not that I like playing that twenty questions game. I’d rather learn.”

  “Okay, well I prefer white fish to either cream cheese or butter. So make me a bagel.” I lean into him, hanging onto his arm like I’m buttering him up.

  Everyone circles around the conference table, sipping coffee or juice and nomming on bagels.

  “Does this mean your show is going to completely change? I mean, you talk about your bachelor lifestyle.” Kurt’s brows furrow.

  Collin waves that off. “Of course not. Now I’m just going to discuss all the kinky sex I’m having in a relationship.”

  “Collin!” I shout across the table, throwing my pen in his direction.

  “This is still so strange,” Eliza mumbles, marveling at us like we’re aliens on display.

  “You’ve got that right. I can’t believe you’re dating. It’s like watching your parents get together after a divorce,” Kurt mutters.

  “Don’t worry, Mommy and Daddy won’t fight too much in front of you anymore.” Collin pats his friend’s shoulder.

  “Gross.” I shudder at his creepy singsong voice.

  “All right, children, settle down.” Nic chuckles. “We’re very happy for you two, but we have business to get down to.”

  Over the next half hour, Nic and Kelly go over some new protocols for the new year, some of the audio issues we’ve been having, new sponsorship deals, and a bunch of other administrative things.

  “The Christmas episodes did so well, I think we’ll have to make it an annual thing just looking forward to the end of this year, though it’s early,” Kelly says.

  “Dear God no,” I mumble, but some eyes land on me.

  Collin chuckles. “Our Monday girl here might not be the biggest fan of the holiday despite how she wiped the floor with me during December.”

  “Wait, you don’t like Christmas? I feel like I was just told Santa isn’t real.” Eliza pouts.

  “I’m … well, maybe I like it more than I originally thought.” I bite back a smile.

  Collin throws down his notebook and points at me. “I knew it! I so made you like Christmas. I sexed you into liking Christmas!”

  “Collin!” Kelly throws her hands up. “Inappropriate for the office. We’re going to have to lay some ground rules for you being in a relationship and what you can comfortably disclose to your coworkers.”

  “Kelly, I talk about deep throating on my podcast. I think that ship has sailed.” He looks at her like she’s a little crazy.

  The conversation dissolves into giggles and an argument on what Collin is allowed to disclose, and I just sit there smiling. I’m not able to hide it any longer. This cocky, somewhat insane, overly honest man is mine. If you had told me at Thanksgiving that we’d be happily dating and in love, I’d have probably sucker punched you.

  But here we are, in our bubble with too many innuendos, too many opinions, and so much to learn.

  For the first time in my life, I’m excited at the prospect of being loved and loving someone. Even if that means taking a huge risk.

  At the end of the day, we walk out to the parking lot hand in hand, and I get into the passenger seat when Collin opens his car door for me.

  “Want to slay some other dragons today?” he asks as we buckle our seatbelts.

  “What do you mean?”

  “My mom texted and asked if you’d come over for dinner tonight.” I can tell he’s biting the inside of his cheek nervously.

  For what feels like a long time, I weigh that question. My stomach is sour, and my heart is lodged in my throat.

  “What if they hate me? I mean, I’m not good with families. Don’t have a lot of experience with them.”

  I pull the visor mirror down on the passenger side of the car and begin primping out of nervousness.

  Collin reaches over, squeezing my thigh. “Will you stop it? They’ll love you. They already like your podcast more than mine. And you’re acting like a chick.”

  “I am a chick.” I narrow my gaze at him.

  He shakes his head. “Nah, you’re not a woman who needs assurance every second of the day. You have a confidence and approach to life that scares a lot of people. Once you let all that anger and second-guessing go, you’re one of the most genuine and caring people I’ve ever met. So no, you’re not a chick. You’re a brave woman who has risen above the treatment she endured. That only means when you charm my family in three seconds flat, you’ll more than deserve all the attention and support they’re about to give you.”

  Welp, my heart is currently in a puddle at my feet. I lean over the center console and press my forehead to his. “Thank you.”

  He kisses me and nods.

  “Let’s do it. I want to meet the people who made a gem like you.” I breathe out, nerves filling my stomach.

  “Is there an I love you in there?” He backs away, putting the car in drive and then replacing his hand on my thigh as he pulls out.

  “Always. I always love you.” I couldn’t stop now if I tried.

  He slips on his aviators, which only makes him look hotter, and turns us in the direction of his family’s house.

  “Good, because I fucking love you, too.”

  My gentleman, through and through.

  EPILOGUE

  LARK

  One Year Later

  “Do you want to tell them what we did last night?”

  Collin eggs me on, grinning like a cocky ass, but that’s why I fell for him in the first place, right?

  “You know your mother will probably listen to this podcast, right?” I smirk at him.

  He shrugs. “Eh, she’s probably listened to some of my other episodes, so that’s on her. She doesn’t want to hear about my sex life, don’t listen.”

  We’re sitting in a studio, just the two of us, relaxed and comfortable in front of mics, but I’m still giving him the “you’re in trouble” eyes.

  “Except now the girl you’re talking about having sex with has to sit across from her at family dinners, thank you very much. I don’t think you want your mother hearing about our adventures into anal sex.”

  Even though … fuck me, just thinking about what we did last night sends jolts of friction to my pussy.

  “Oh, so I shouldn’t also mention that we used a vibrating dildo to turn it into double penetration.”

  Well, now I’m definitely not getting invited to next Christmas. Even though this year, about two weeks ago, had gone so much better than I expected.

  Over the past year, I’ve attended a number of family events with Collin’s parents and siblings, and we’ve gotten on better than I ever thought we would. His brother Henry is a riot, Clara and Becca love talking to me about my podcast, and his father has taken me under his wing like I’m his own. Jamie, Collin’s oldest sister, calls me the toddler whisperer because her daughter Flora has taken to me for some odd reason, and I can’t say I don’t love the baby cuddles I’ve never gotten before.

  And then there is his mom, who I catch looking at me for a second too long sometimes. When she knows I’ve caught her, she smiles and nods, as if acknowledging that this is where I belong. It feels so right, making me want to cry just thinking about it.

  I was less humbug than I’ve ever been and even picked the winning family Christmas tree at the annual cut down outing.

  “If you want to know how that went, tune into a show that I will personally block Collin’s mother from. I’m so sorry, Mrs. Machlan.” I send up a silent prayer that my favorite future daughter-in-law title isn’t about to get revoked.

  “Let’s talk about the other big news, aside from anal sex,” Collin segues us.

  I can’t help but laugh. “You mean our big move is bigger than—”

  “All right, some things my mother does not need to hear on this podcast. But you did hear her right, everyone. We’re moving in together.”

  After a year of dating, we decided to make the leap to cohabitating. Mostly, I was sick of shuttling my good skincare to Collin’s place every other day. But if I’m being sappy, I want to do life with him. I’ve never done that before, lived with someone I’m in love with and so emotionally invested in. It’ll be an interesting adventure, but we’ll do it together. Since I fell for him, I’m no longer afraid of the risk of what might happen if I let people in.

  “Yes, we are. I’m willingly signing up to throw your wet towels into the hamper when you leave them on the floor, and you’ve committed to unclogging the drain when my hair builds up.”

  “Ah, romance,” Collin jokes.

  “But, yes, we found a two-bedroom condo a little further outside Rockton. You heard us, we’re going suburban and domestic people.” I pretend to cringe.

  “You fucking love it, stop. Last night, I caught her smiling as she color-coded our primary bedroom closet.”

  “I do love a good organizing task.” I grin.

  Collin laces his hand through mine. “What are you most nervous about as we move in together?”

  Two months ago, we launched a new podcast in addition to our solo ones. Individually, we’re hitting the top of the charts, and my Monday slot only brought more listeners once I was cemented in that schedule. But once a week, we sit down together and talk about relationships from two people who used to be so anti-commitment, it’s hilarious to think about now. Our audiences went crazy for it, and ever since, we’ve been having brutally honest conversations on air about everything from sex in a monogamous relationship to how to deal with your partner’s showering habits, to lingering feelings about single life even though you love someone. Some episodes are harder than others, like when I went deep on my trust and attachment issues, but Collin is always right here holding my hand.

  “That you will be so annoyed or grossed out by one of my habits that eventually, you’ll want to leave.” I blink, the honesty flaying me open.

  “And here I thought it would be that the bathroom would smell after I—”

  “Gross,” I cut him off. “Be serious.”

  “Always serious about you, doll. And you should seriously know by now that nothing you do could make me leave. I’m in it through the grossness, the breakdowns, the nagging. I love you. So I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I can hear a million girls sighing in their cars as they listen to this,” I mumble, jealous of the faceless millions because I’m territorial.

  “You’re hot when you’re jealous, doll.” That cocky grin gets me every time.

  We spend the rest of the episode talking about our highs and lows of the move we’re currently in, tell the story about Collin getting hit on right in front of me at a restaurant, and how we’re thinking of doing Valentine’s Day gifts in a month or so.

  “Thanks for listening to Reformed Relationshits. We’ll be back next week with all the ridiculous things that happen during our first weeks of living together, how I compromised to make holiday traditions because Collin bitched if I didn’t comply, and how my vagina steaming turns out. We love you guys, thanks for being here.”

  I outro us, and Collin hits the stop button on the computer we’re recording on. We remove our headphones, and he nods emphatically at me.

  “That was a good episode.”

  “Not as good as my solo one, though.” I wink, still competitive with him.

  “That’s because you have the latest reality star to go through a public breakup. Everyone wants the tea. Even me, don’t think I won’t be streaming that as soon as it comes out. Wait a minute, you have the full interview. Let me listen early.”