“No, Jodi . . .” he cries after me. “Let me say sorry. I don’t want to end things like this.”

  “No, you don’t want to end things at all because I’m all you have left. Had left. I’m out.”

  His wails behind me make the tears stream down my face, but I don’t look back. I can’t. I don’t want to see him. I don’t want to crack again. This is hard, but it’s the right thing to do. I’m at a good place in my life with Brock, I’m moving forward, so I don’t want anything from my past to affect that. It’s time to leave it all behind.

  I gulp back the sobs as I step into the nearest cab to take me home. I feel deflated, empty, numb. Now all I need to do is go to sleep, wash this day off of me, and start again tomorrow.

  * * *

  The dawn sunshine bursts into my bedroom, making me bolt upright in bed. It takes me a couple of moments to work out why I fell asleep with the curtains open, but it doesn’t take long until it all comes rushing back. The horrible meeting with Lucas, all the tears, the emotional exhaustion, the collapse on the sheets as I came in.

  I rub the sleep from my eyes and grab my cell phone to check the time. My heart stops dead.

  Lucas: That was pretty fucked up, Jodi. I don’t know what sort of shit you were trying to pull then, but it hurts. Point proven. I get that I’ve leaned on you a lot, but everyone else has left me. Don’t leave me too.

  Lucas: I’m begging you, Jodi, don’t leave me as well. I can’t handle it. I feel all panicky.

  Lucas: Okay, now I can see that you’re just being a bitch. This is all some fucking game to you. Well, fuck you, this is my life. It might not be what you understand, but it’s MY life, not yours. I can do what I want.

  Lucas: They’re after me now. They’re going to kill me. Can I come to your place? Where is it?

  Lucas: If I die today, it’ll be on your head. I hope the blood washes off your hands easily enough.

  Lucas: I’ve done some research on you. I know you’re with some rich guy now. What are you trying to pull? You could have given me a lot more than that money. I can’t believe you want me dead, you bitch.

  Lucas: I know who he is now as well. Brock fucking Stanton. Is he your boss? You might think you’re being all discreet, but it only took me a few hours to figure it all out. You aren’t smart.

  Lucas: They aren’t going after me anymore. They are after you instead. You’ll end up dead.

  Lucas: Oh, sorry, did I say you? I meant your guy. He’s actually worth something. Unlike you.

  Lucas: I hope you realize that all of this is your fault.

  “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” I try with shaking fingers to call Brock, to see if he’s okay, but before I can get to dialing his number, a message comes through from him. As his number flashes up on the screen, panic consumes me.

  Brock: Hey, do you have any plans tonight? I was thinking we could go out for a few drinks. With some friends of ours? Get to know each other a little better . . .

  “He’s okay?” I know Brock. He would have told me if not. “Oh, thank God. He’s okay.”

  Now I just need to find a way to appease Lucas, to stop him from escalating this. I guess I can’t quite put my past behind me just yet. Soon though. I’m going to have to. I want that future!

  11

  Brock

  “It’s nice to finally meet you, Millie. I’ve heard all sorts of things about you.”

  I like Jodi’s friend already. She’s got a wide open and honest face. I can see why she and Jodi made instant fast friends back in high school. It’s just such an obvious connection.

  “I’ve heard lots about you too. Thankfully for you, all good stuff.” She peers behind me and cocks an eyebrow. “Not so much about Josh though. Apparently, he isn’t the nicest guy in the world.”

  I laugh as Josh shuffles uncomfortably. “No, well he’s trying to be better at that, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah, yeah,” he grumbles. “I was just trying to protect you, that’s all.”

  Protect me from Jodi. The more time that passes, the more ridiculous that idea is. She’s saved me, dragged me up from an unfeeling place that I didn’t even know I was in, and made me so fucking happy. Now we’re in love, and life couldn’t be better. Everything really has turned out just as it was supposed to.

  “Well, we don’t need protecting, do we, Jodi?” I turn to see my woman, who has her face buried in her phone.

  “Hmm?” She just about manages to drag her eyes upward. “What was that?”

  “I was just saying that we don’t need protecting from each other, do we?”

  “Why would we need protecting?” All the color drains from her face. “From what?”

  “I . . .” I shake my head, realizing the time has passed. “Never mind. Shall we get some drinks in?”

  “So this is your casino?” Millie looks around, impressed. “It’s really nice, isn’t it? You’ve done a good job. You’ve done all of this from nothing and turned it into a very successful company.”

  “Oh, well, yes, I’ve done what I can.” I indicate for a waiter to come over. “What do you want to drink?”

  As everyone reels off their order, I stare at Jodi, trying to work out what’s going on with her. Ever since she started talking about Thomas earlier this week, she’s been more closed down than ever before. Now she keeps looking at her phone as if it holds all the answers to life. I have a funny feeling that it’s got a lot more to do with this mysterious Lucas than it does with Thomas. I’m not sure why, but I have a funny feeling he isn’t the issue.

  I look at Josh, who tosses his head back and laughs at something Millie says, wondering if he’s a better judge of character than I am. Maybe he saw things in Jodi immediately that I was too blinded to see. Perhaps he could see that this whole mess was going to end up with my heart broken, and that could be happening right now . . .

  Is this Lucas another man in Jodi’s life? Am I a fool to believe that love is enough? Maybe the reason all the guys get obsessed with her is because she doesn’t love any of them. Maybe she’s a cold-hearted praying mantis.

  That version of her doesn’t match up to what I’ve seen, what I know of Jodi, but something doesn’t quite add up. There’s a side to her that she keeps resolutely hidden from me. Maybe there’s a reason for that.

  “Ooh, drinks are here.” Millie’s voice shatters through my thought barrier. “Looks lovely.”

  “Yeah, the cocktails here are amazing,” Jodi pipes up. She smiles, but I can see it’s strained. “Really nice.”

  “You should have brought me here sooner. It’s incredible.”

  “Jodi hasn’t been downstairs much herself.” Josh thinks it’s appropriate to comment. “She’s usually all tied up, upstairs, if you know what I mean.” He finishes that with an unwelcome seedy wink.

  I boom out with laughter, trying to distract everyone from the unnecessary nature of that remark. “Thanks for that, Josh, that was great. Millie, why don’t we talk about you instead? Shut Josh up.”

  Millie rolls into her life story, and I nod and make agreeable noises wherever I feel appropriate, but I’m barely focused on her at all. Jodi is back on her phone, furiously typing away, her expression changing with every message. Something is going on, and I can’t tell if it’s bad or good. It’s killing me inside.

  I want her to look at me, to let me in, to show me more of herself, but she won’t. She has concrete walls built around her, and there’s no dragging them down. I’m not as much a part of her life as I thought.

  “So your boyfriend has moved in?” Josh asks Millie. “How’s that going?”

  “Oh, it’s great actually. It’s really strengthened things between us.”

  Maybe that’s what I need to do. Ask her to live with me. We’re in love after all . . .

  No. I shake my head rapidly, trying to rid my brain of that crazy thought. I can’t act all irrationally. I can’t start moving at the speed of light just because I’m freaked out. I made that mistake once before, and it didn’t exactly work out in my favor. I need to just let what’s happening happen and go from there.

  It’s hard to think ‘what will be, will be’ when it comes to Jodi, but I need to. Otherwise, I really will lose her.

  “Hold on a moment, I just need to get to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

  Jodi bolts up from her seat and races away. It doesn’t escape my notice that she has her cell phone clutched so tightly in her fingers as she runs that her knuckles have turned white. She isn’t going to the bathroom at all—she’s going to make a call. Undoubtedly to this fucking asshole Lucas.

  Jealous coils through me like a nasty, bitter snake. It leaves a trail of agony racing through my body, infecting every single part of me until my whole body feels green. I can’t take it anymore.

  “Is something going on?” I ask Millie rapidly. “With Jodi, I mean? She’s acting all crazy.”

  Millie leans forward, resting her arms on the table, and I think for one glorious moment that I’m going to get some answers. The need to know twists painfully in my gut, but she ends up just shaking her head.

  “I don’t know. She does seem very strung out at the moment, but I think it’s just stress.”

  “Stress? What does she have to be stressed about? It isn’t the stalking, is it?”

  “No, I don’t think so. She isn’t worried that he’ll come for her. The restraining order will keep him in check.”

  I want to ask her about Lucas as well, but the words get stuck in my throat. I don’t know if I want to know about him. Well, I do, but I don’t at the same time. It’ll destroy me to find out my worst fears are true.

  “Right, I see. So what does she have to be stressed about?”

  Millie shuffles uncomfortably in her chair, struggling under my intrusive gaze. “I don’t know, really. That was just a guess. I just don’t know what’s going on with her . . .”

  I take a giant swig of my drink, the black cloud of anger settling even more over me. This should be a good night, a positive one for all of us to get to know one another better. I shouldn’t be in this mess.

  “Don’t worry about it, mate.” Josh nudges me playfully in the side. “Women.”

  “Women? Is that your help? Is that your answer? Thanks for that insightful advice.”

  “Oh, come on. You know what I mean. Women are different than men. They think differently, they act differently, their minds are like a fucking minefield. Don’t start trying to understand Jodi, just enjoy her.”

  I sneer, unimpressed by his words. “Don’t say that, Josh. Don’t be a dick.”

  “What?” He tosses his hands up in the air, shocked. “What are you talking about?”

  “I actually have a real issue here, Josh. I’m actually concerned about Jodi. I don’t need your bullshit remarks. What I want is some way to make things alright again.”

  Before either of them can say anything else to me, I leap up from my seat and leave, hunting for Jodi. I’m not going to get anything useful from them, so I suppose the best thing I can do is try and speak with her alone. It isn’t exactly how I imagined this night to go when I suggested it.

  I twist and turn through the endless gambling machines in my casino, searching for the familiar shock of ashy blonde hair. There are hundreds of people in the matrix of flashing lights, but none of them are her. Usually, when I wander through the casino, I try to speak to the patrons a bit to make them feel welcome here, but I have another mission on my mind today. My vision is actually blurred with worry.

  Maybe she’s in the bathroom. I head in that direction. Maybe she’s telling the truth.

  I push the door open a crack and am immediately blown away by the strange tone to her voice.

  “Lucas, I can’t meet you now. Don’t be like that. I’m busy . . . yes, with him.”

  I haven’t ever heard her sound like that. She’s desperate, needy, almost as if this is her real lover and she wants to be with him, but she’s stuck with me. My breath balls up in my throat. I can’t cope with this.

  “I can’t get away. No, I really can’t . . . No, don’t do that. Don’t come in here. No . . . Okay, I’ll come.”

  I flatten back against the wall, panting as the jealousy damn near explodes. This is too much. It’s unbearable. I’m being made a mockery of here. I can’t believe Josh was right.

  The bathroom door swings open, and she stomps out, so busy still looking at her phone screen that she doesn’t see me. She heads off in a direction that isn’t the table, which means she isn’t coming back to sit with me. But I already knew that. She was talking to her lover, arranging to meet him outside. Of course that’s where she’s going. I just don’t know why that rational thought won’t go into my brain.

  It must be because I need to see it. I can’t fully believe it until I do.

  Without giving myself time to think otherwise, I step forward and follow Jodi, hiding in the shadows as much as I can so she doesn’t see me. I don’t need to bother. She isn’t looking out for me.

  She walks rapidly toward the front door and bursts through it, heading to fucking Lucas. She’s supposed to be with me tonight, hanging out with our friends and having a good time together. She shouldn’t be meeting up with some lover and shying away from what I’ve organized. Rage explodes. I can barely stand it.

  This is what you get for moving too quickly, I tell myself angrily. I’m being burned all over again.

  She doesn’t stop right outside but heads toward a nearby alleyway with me hot on her tail. So confident that she’s covered all her tracks, she doesn’t even look to see if she’s being followed. That irritates me even more. It’s fucking bullshit, that’s what it is. It makes me madder than anything else.

  Finally, she stops by another shadow, and I’m forced to stay where I am. I’m not close enough to hear anything, but I don’t know if I need to. I just have to see them kissing, and I’ll know for sure. I’ll know then that everything I thought was real, wasn’t, and that I’ve allowed myself to get carried away. My mother will be so disappointed, and Josh will be right. That’s just fucking marvelous.

  This time, my head isn’t spinning for good reasons. This time, Jodi has me all tied up in knots for everything bad. I don’t like this raw, vulnerable sensation one bit.

  12

  Jodi

  “This has to be quick, Lucas. Everyone will know in a moment that I’m missing.”

  He grabs onto my arms so hard I’m pretty sure I’ll have bruises left behind. “Don’t you care, Jodi?”

  “About what?” I try my hardest to struggle free. “What are you talking about now?”

  “I told you that he will be next. I warned you that the people after me now want Brock.”

  “No, that isn’t what you told me at all. You pretty much told me that he was dead.”

  “I didn’t mean . . . I’m sorry. I wasn’t in my right mind when I said that. I was all freaked out.”

  “Well, it wasn’t very nice. I got really freaked out about it and now . . . well, now I don’t know what you’ll do.”

  “Yeah, damn right you don’t know what I’ll do. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

  “Lucas, you’re freaking me out right now. I don’t like this. You’re being all weird. Are you on something?”

  “Fuck you,” he said with a sneer. “It’s none of your business what I’m up to. You should focus more on your boyfriend. The rich asshole who can keep you in the style you’re accustomed to, you bitch.”

  “Lucas, I already told you that I don’t want to see you again. I just want this to stop.”

  “One hundred grand. That’s what it’s going to cost you to get rid of me.”

  “A hundred grand?” That strips all the air right out of my lungs. “Is that how much you owe?”

  “It’s none of your business how much I owe. That’s what I want. Maybe I can get that precious new life you keep telling me about. It sounds really appealing now. Get away, have a nice time.”

  “I don’t have the money, Lucas. I’m sorry, but I can’t pay you off right now. I just came out here to find out whether or not you actually have people coming after Brock. This isn’t anything to do with him.”

  “No, but if he wants you enough, he’ll pay it, won’t he? I mean, that’s what you do, isn’t it? You get boys to become obsessed with you, and then they’ll do whatever the hell you want. Isn’t that right?”

  “Don’t start saying things like that to me, Lucas. Don’t be a dick about this. Just leave me alone.”

  “No way. Me and you are damaged together. We’re both broken. You don’t get to be happy now.”

  “I would want you to be happy. I do want you to be happy. Why don’t you want the same for me?”

  “Because it always happens for everyone else. It never happens for me. It isn’t fair.”

  “You don’t invite it in, that’s why. You let yourself be miserable. You gamble and gamble until you have nothing. Then you come to me, and you bleed me dry. That’s why no one sticks around for you.”

  “Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard those lectures before, Jodi, but I’m not buying it this time. It’s bullshit. It’s not up to you. You just need to get me that fucking money. Go back inside, ask Brock for the money, tell him you need to get some bad people off your back, and let that be the end of it. I’ll be gone. Forever this time.”

  “No way. Not a chance in hell. I’ve already told you this doesn’t involve him.”

  “It does now.” Lucas’s face twists up in self-satisfaction. “I’ve made him a part of it. A big part, in fact. I’m holding the guys back at the moment, stopping them from committing an armed robbery on his casino. Not only would that damage him now, but it’d take him forever to rebuild his reputation up again. You know how long people are freaked out for. He won’t have a paying patron for as long as it takes for him to fold.”