“Don’t do that, Lucas. I mean, I don’t know if you’re telling the truth or not.”

  “Why would I lie? I wouldn’t lie, would I? This is real, Jodi. Pull your head out of your ass.”

  We stare at one another for a few moments, both listening to my terrified, ragged, and panting breaths. I can’t hide my fear. It’s pouring out of me in waves. The more fearful I become, the happier Lucas is about it. This is exactly where he wants me, pinned against the wall, so scared I can’t think, never mind breathe.

  “Jodi, if you really like this new guy of yours, then you need to go back in there and tell him to give me the money. Warn him, if you must, that an onslaught is coming, and he really needs to think about his behavior.”

  “But what if I go in there and he calls the cops?” I’m just playing for time here, scanning my brain for a solution. “Won’t that just put an end to it anyway?”

  “Don’t you think I’ve thought of that? I have people ready to ensure that doesn’t happen.”

  “What people?” He doesn’t answer me. “What fucking people? Are you kidding me?”

  I’m no longer in control. I’m spinning and twisting into the abyss as I lose the tight control I have of my life. That was only an illusion anyway, nothing real, just something I told myself so I could feel better. But Lucas has control. He’s whipped the rug out from underneath me, stripping away the foundation I exist upon, leaving me with nothing. I grip my chest, trying everything I can to get my breathing straight.

  “Lucas, please don’t do this to me. Don’t. Don’t ruin my life. I’ve been good to you, haven’t I? I’ve been good. I don’t know why you’re ruining this. I can’t understand. I don’t want any of this . . .”

  The words tumble over one another. I can’t get them out fast enough, but Lucas just laughs nastily at me.

  “There is, of course, another solution. A way that we can make all of this go the hell away.”

  I cock one eyebrow, already knowing I’m not going to like this. If I would, he’d have suggested it first.

  “Go on then, Lucas, you might as well just tell me what it is already.”

  “Leave him and get back with me. Simple. We’ll go back to the good old days when it was just me and you.”

  I snort with angry laughter. “And how exactly will that pay off your debt?”

  “I’ll work it out. You don’t need to worry about that.”

  “If you can ‘work it out,’ why can’t you just do that now? Work it out on your own?”

  “Because I don’t want to, if I’m honest. Not if I can’t have you.”

  I shake my head, anger and disappointment running all the way through me. “Well, you can’t.”

  “So you’re just giving up on us, just like that? You don’t even want to give us a try?”

  “We did that, remember? And it didn’t work out. There’s a reason it didn’t work out, and that reason hasn’t changed. You haven’t built your life back up, you aren’t in a better place. If anything, you’re worse off.”

  “That’s because I don’t have you.” He grips me again, letting his hot breath tickle my cheek. “If I had you, everything would be different. It would all be so much better. I would be happy.”

  I try to yank myself away, but he has me tight. His face almost presses up against mine as he tries to draw me closer to him. This isn’t the Lucas I liked when I first came to Vegas. He’s changed. He’s become dangerous. It’s like he’s hooked on some drugs or something, more than just the gambling. Although, in the heat of this moment, it feels like I’m the drug. I’m the one coursing through his veins, and he needs another hit.

  I’m just a normal person. Why do all these guys react like this to me? I don’t get it.

  He shoves me hard against the wall, scraping my back against the bricks. His face presses right up against mine as if he’s about to kiss me. I stop breathing, my heart stops beating, I’m all hollow inside as I wait.

  “I’m going to make you mine right now. If I take you here and now outside his casino, then he’ll never want you back. Then you’ll have to belong to me. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”

  I turn my head, refusing to let him plant the kiss on my lips. “Don’t you want the money?”

  “You’ve already told me that you can’t get the money. You can’t change your mind now.”

  “Maybe . . . maybe Brock will give it to me.” I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing I was back inside with him right now rather than out here. “Maybe if I explain what’s going on, he’ll give me the money.”

  His fingers curl even harder. The hot pain radiates right through me. “What if he doesn’t?”

  “He . . . he will.” I can hardly get my words out now, I’m such a mess. “I’m sure of it.”

  “That’s not good enough. I want you to break up with him as well. I want you to be mine.”

  “You can’t have both . . .. Argh!”

  “Don’t fucking scream, you crazy bitch.”

  “But you’re hurting me! I can’t help it. Just let me go, and we can talk.”

  “Stop thrashing about. If you didn’t keep fighting me, it would be a whole lot easier . . .. What the—?”

  My eyes snap open, and I see the same thing that Lucas does. A shadow flitting past us. Hope blooms in my chest. If someone has seen us, then they’ll get the cops. I’ll be saved. It’s obvious that I don’t want to be here, so there isn’t anything to worry about. The tight knot in my lungs loosens a little bit.

  “Did someone follow you out here?” he demands loudly. “Are you fucking with me, Jodi?”

  “No.” I rub my now free wrists. “No one followed me. Maybe it’s one of your guys.”

  He rakes his fingers through his sweat-sodden hair and glares at me. “Don’t be naïve. I don’t have any guys. I just said that to fuck with you. But you had someone follow me. You’re one fucked-up piece of shit.”

  I bolt to make a run for it, but Lucas is too quick for me. He grabs me hard, wrapping his arms around my waist, and I feel something hard pressing into my side, stinging against my hot, flushed skin.

  “Don’t fuck with me, Jodi. I mean it. I will absolutely finish you off. You feel that there? That’s a knife, and I swear to God I will pierce your skin if you do anything stupid. I’m not afraid to kill you.”

  I can feel it through the venom in his voice. He does want me dead. He’s going to kill me if I don’t think fast. I could promise to be with him, I suppose, give him everything that he wants, promise to be the partner he needs, but I think if I do that, he won’t ever let me go. He might not have guys, but he probably has a van waiting to bundle me into the back. I can’t risk that. No matter what happens, I can’t risk that.

  Sirens burst through the air, shrieking shrilly and desperately. I want to weep with relief because I’m sure they’re for me. Lucas seems to have that feeling, too, because he drops away from me, his hands raised high above his head in a surrendering gesture. His eyes dart everywhere. He’s searching for the same people I am, and then he’s gone. His hard footsteps against the concrete grow quieter with every step, filling me with relief as they do.

  I tumble to the ground in a heap, too drained to even cry, just breathing through the pain.

  I’m alive, I remind myself. I’m alive . . . That’s the one thing I need to take from this.

  I’m still here.

  13

  Brock

  He’s kissing her. They’re actually kissing. His lips are on hers. They’re together . . . just like I thought.

  I watch the scene unravel in front of me, my fists squeezing by my side in anger. There are shadows in the way, so I can’t see the graphic detail as it unfolds, thank goodness, but I can see enough. This is what I came out here to find, and this is what I’ve found. It’s a fucking bittersweet victory which tears me up inside.

  I storm away, not taking any care to disguise myself anymore. I want Jodi to know that I’ve seen. Let her know I’m aware of her affair, that I’m done with her now. Fucking bitch, how dare she treat me like that.

  I don’t go inside, I’m not in the right frame of mind to face anyone right now. Whether it be Josh and Millie, the woman who more than likely knows all about this, or the customers in the casino. I don’t want any human interaction. Not until I’ve calmed down at least eighty percent. Right now, I could smash the whole place apart.

  “Why the fuck would she do that to me?” I pace up and down outside the front door, talking to myself like a crazy person. “Why would she treat me like that when I’ve been nothing but amazing to her?”

  I think of the time I took her to meet my mom, all the times I’ve gushed over how wonderful she is, the moment I told her I was in love with her . . . It was all for nothing. She didn’t care.

  I press my palms into my eyes to block the world out for just a moment, and as I do, all I can think about are all the looks she gave me, the sincerity in every gaze. Was that all a lie? Even now, with this new knowledge I have, it doesn’t feel like it. I’m smarter than that. I should be able to see through it. She really did seem to love me right back, but I must have been mistaken, because here we are. She’s kissing another guy in an alleyway, and I’m standing here feeling like the biggest idiot in the world, lost and alone . . . yet again.

  This is like fucking Jane all over again. The moment I walked in on her fucking a guy in our bed, the marital bed we shared together for years. My heart swelled then shattered into a million pieces before she even noticed I was in the room. I fell apart. I was absolutely destroyed from the inside out, and she just continued to bounce up and down on his cock as if she was having the time of her life with his body.

  What was it about him? What made him better than me? Why wasn’t I enough?

  And now I’m back there again, in exactly the same place. Lost and alone, wondering why I’m not the one. I seem to be okay for a cheap fuck here and there but never enough for the real deal.

  “Oh, my God, Brock.” Jodi’s syrupy sweet voice breaks through, bringing rage back to the forefront. “You’re here. I thought . . . I didn’t think . . .” She throws her arms around me, the unexpected sensation of her knocking all the words right out of me. “I didn’t think I would . . . I would . . .” she sobs, so I can’t fully understand her.

  “Jodi.” I force myself to keep my tone cold, separating me from her. “I saw you with him. I know what was going on. That’s why you’re always glued to your phone, because of him. Lucas.”

  She nods against me, not even bothering to deny it which only rubs salt in the wound. “Yes, yes, it is.”

  I push back away from her, the last glimmer of hope sliding away completely. She repulses me now, and the idea of her touching me makes my skin crawl. She’s a slug, a rat, a slimeball. The worst of the worst.

  “I cannot believe that we’re here, Jodi. I can’t believe you’ve done this to me.”

  She’s a crumbling mess in front of me, falling apart because she’s been found out. A part of me cries out for her—I do want to touch her, to comfort her, because despite everything I can’t help having sympathy for her. But the image of her lip-locked with another man consumes me, and I ball my fists up once more.

  “After everything we’ve been through, Jodi. Did none of that mean anything to you? Was it all worthless? Did you even mean it when you said you loved me? Was that all a part of your game? Am I just a pawn in your chess game? I don’t understand anymore. None of this makes any sense.”

  I’m not this person. I’m not the man who yells and crumbles, not anymore. That was years ago, but I’ve grown out of that . . . or at least, I thought I had. I’m supposed to be a stronger guy now, the alpha male who’s created a massive business for himself. I should just walk away. I need to walk away.

  “What are you talking about, Brock? That isn’t what it’s like. It isn’t that, it’s—”

  “You can’t justify what you’ve done. It isn’t going to happen. I won’t hear you out.”

  “What do you think you saw there, because it was—”

  I shake my head, silencing her. “No. I just said I don’t want to hear it, Jodi. You need to leave.”

  “L-leave?” She steps back from me, her eyes running up and down me. “Why?”

  “Because we’re done here. Me and you are done. Finished. It’s over. You wrecked it. You can be with him.”

  “Be with him? I don’t want to be with him.”

  “Oh, so you want to be with me but keep him as a bit on the side? Well, I’m not into that either.”

  “I don’t understand what you’re saying here. This doesn’t make any sense.”

  “Just go, Jodi. Get out of here. I don’t ever want to see your face again.”

  “But . . . we’re together. We’ve been together. You can’t just end that.”

  “I didn’t. You did the moment you left the casino to meet him.”

  “But that was for—” She stops as she realizes this isn’t going to fly. “But we work together.”

  “No. We don’t. Not anymore. You gotta go. I need you out of my life for good.”

  “You can’t fire me,” she cries out while clutching her stomach. “I need this job.”

  “Well, I can’t be around you anymore, Jodi. It isn’t going to happen.”

  “I always thought you would still let me work with you, even if you didn’t want me anymore.”

  “I did too. I never wanted me and you to affect your working position, but I can’t look at you.”

  “Have a heart, Brock. Don’t fire me. Whatever you’re thinking, it’s all a mistake. It never happened. You’ll see that when you calm down. You’ll realize this is all a mistake. Don’t do anything stupid, please.”

  She grabs onto me, and I spot that familiar look of sincerity in her eyes, drawing me in. It looks so real, she seems so genuine, it’s hard not to fall into her beautiful trap. She’s still the girl I’ve fallen for, the one I have no idea how I’m going to live without, my drug addiction . . . but I need to go cold turkey. It’s the only way.

  “Jodi, this is the last time I ever want to see you. If you’ve left anything in the office, I’ll forward it to you, but aside from that, there’s absolutely no reason for us to see one another. Do you understand?”

  “You can’t cut me off, not when I need you so much. This is the worst timing . . .”

  “Why? Has he broken up with you as well? It sure didn’t look that way to me.”

  “No, that’s not it. You saw wrong. That’s Lucas—”

  “Yeah, I know, the guy who’s been calling you over and over again. The one who’s had you glued to your phone. The one you didn’t tell me about for a very good reason.”

  “Because I didn’t want him to destroy us. He threatened to—”

  “Tell me all about you? Well, he didn’t need to. I caught you right at it, didn’t I?”

  “Caught me what? He had hold of me, he was—”

  “I don’t need to hear the sordid details, Jodi. Just get out of here, okay?”

  “No, Brock, don’t . . . I don’t want you to . . . Don’t end it like this. No, Brock, don’t! Don’t! Stop it . . .”

  I turn my back on her and walk inside, my heart pounding violently in my chest as I do. I thought yelling at Jodi and getting it off my chest would make me feel better, but it hasn’t. If anything, I just feel worse. That look on her face will stick with me forever, making me hate myself for the rest of my damn life.

  I return to the table to see Millie and Josh laughing in their own little bubble, barely noticing the rest of the world swimming around them. I could almost think them a couple if it weren’t for their respective partners.

  “Urgh.” I slump into my seat and shake my head angrily. “Fucking hell.”

  “Where have you been? You were gone ages.”

  “I went looking for Jodi, actually, because she was acting really weird before she ran off.”

  I spot what I think is a glimmer of guilt crossing Millie’s face. “Where is she now?”

  “She’s gone. I sent her away. I don’t ever want to see her face again.”

  “Why? Why the hell would you do something like that?”

  Millie bangs her hands on the table and glares down at me, the guilt long gone. Now she’s looking at me as if I’m the worst thing in the world, as if I’m the one to fucking blame. The anger bubbles in my stomach. I have to keep my breathing steady so it doesn’t boil over and make me do something stupid.

  “Because I followed her outside to see her kissing some other guy.”

  “Kissing?” Now Millie looks stunned as she staggers back. Well, good. It’s better for her to see that I’m not the bad one here. “Are you sure? She was kissing someone else?”

  “Yes. I saw her. Making out with some other guy out there.”

  “But you’re with her—”

  “Not anymore. I’m not with anyone. No chance in hell that I’ll be getting with anyone else again.”

  “What do you mean? What the hell have you done, Brock?”

  “What have I done? She’s the one who ruined what we have. Do you not understand that?”

  “Is she out there alone? How can you just leave her like that? You’re an asshole!”

  Millie gives me one last look before she storms out of the casino with her hair flickering over her shoulder. I sneer as she runs, glad to see her go. She can go and comfort her friend while she gets over losing me.

  “Don’t.” I shake my head at Josh. “Don’t say ‘I told you so.’”

  “I wasn’t going to.” He holds his hands up in a defeated gesture. “I don’t think I need to say anything to you.”

  “No.” I take a giant swig of my drink, trying to wash down the bitterness with the sharp sting of booze. “I don’t need you to say a single damn thing. I should have listened to you. You were right.”