“Here you go, Eric,” Tai calls from the other couch, flashing his phone towards us to show a picture of him deep in the moment, eyes closed as his knuckles bleach around the mic. Fuck, my man is hot. “Caption says, ‘Eric Woodard can have all my babies.’ Over two hundred likes already.”

  Was that a growl that just slipped out of me?

  Whoopsie.

  Eric only rolls his eyes, continuing to scroll. “Oh, here’s a good one! It’s a fuzzy, zoomed-in shot of Theo with the hashtag #ShortKingPower.” We laugh as Theo shakes his head good-naturedly, dishing out our food as everyone jokes and continues to scour the internet for feedback.

  It’s like a drug, permeating the air around us and causing us to grin and laugh at the stupidest things.

  “Check this out,” Eric says over a bite of eggs, turning his phone sideways and zooming in. “Shit looks professional.” It’s a panoramic picture of the band, all of us mostly in focus.

  My hands are little blurs in the background, and Dante might be in the middle of a headbang, but it’s another stunner of Eric. Mic in his fist, his free hand curls as he lifts it towards the ceiling, his head tilted up and sweat pouring off his body.

  I scoot closer, using two fingers to zoom in on him, not thinking as I blurt out, “Goddamn, that is fucking sexy.” The watchful eyes of the others bore into us as he grins at me, then looks back at his phone, unaware of the spectacle we’ve become.

  Jesus, why am I so bad at this?

  I’m like a blushing middle schooler, all heart eyed and unable to hide my crush as I gush about how cute he is.

  Thankfully, no one says a word until Dante announces it’s time to hit the road again. I volunteer to clean up, not just to balance the workload since I won’t be cooking, but also to occupy myself. It’s a necessary distraction to help me keep my hands to myself, even if I can’t tear my eyes away from him.

  The next night’s show in Savannah is equally amazing, the crowd louder and the stadium fuller. We spend the hours on the bus reading more reviews and social media posts, sharing pictures and new hashtags.

  The drive to Tallahassee is uneventful, just over four hours, even with the lunch rush of traffic we find ourselves in. By the time we’re parked and set up, it’s early afternoon and we have the entire rest of the day to relax.

  “Okay, I had an idea,” Theo calls out after Dante joins us in the living room. “Who brought swimsuits?” Not a single one of us nods or raises our hands, and Theo chuckles. “Yeah, me neither. That’ll have to be our first stop.”

  “And what’s stop two?” Eric asks, reclining with his arms behind his head, making his pecs pop while his nipples—and those delicious barbells through them—push against his shirt.

  I swear, the man could make something as dull as doing taxes look sexy.

  “Would you guys agree to go if I said it’s a surprise?”

  “No!” The four of us call out in unison, cracking up at the extremely offended expression on Theo’s face, eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

  “Unreal. Ungrateful miscreants,” he grumbles, which causes my grin to spread while Dante scoffs and shakes his head. “Fine, if you all want to be party poopers, then I’ll tell you. I’ll just let you shit on my amazing surprise, ya giant douche dispensers.”

  Unable to contain it, a loud laugh bursts out of me, and Tai joins in, cracking up at Theo’s theatrics. Next to me, Eric chuckles, and even Dante cracks a grin and momentarily lets his tough facade slip.

  Theo takes the time to glare at us each individually. “On the drive here, I was Googling fun things to do while we have a day with no plans. The weather is perfect today, so I thought we could go on one of those boat tours and enjoy the sunshine. But first we have to stop somewhere and get swimsuits. Obviously.”

  “Obviously,” Tai parrots, still with a splitting grin.

  “That… you know what? That sounds pretty chill.” Theo beams at me as I say it, and Eric nods beside me. “Fuck it, I’m down.”

  “Great!” Theo claps his hands and rubs them together. “Sticks and I will call an Uber and head to the boat while you guys hold down the fort. We’ll be back later, but don’t wait up for us.”

  I can tell he’s teasing, goading Eric, who completely gives himself away by turning bright red. Just ripens up like a tomato on a vine as he leans closer to me, fingers gripping my shirt as he stutters and stammers.

  A wide grin stretches across Theo’s face, revealing a set of pearly white teeth and instantly putting me at ease. In his own unique way, this is him acknowledging our relationship, even though we haven’t discussed it.

  “What’s wrong, Eric?” he teases, leaning forward and propping his elbows on his knees with feigned innocence.

  Eric turns towards me with a quiet laugh, resting his forehead on my arm as I grin down at him. “Yeah, what’s wrong, Eric?” I ask with a smirk. He rolls his head until his cheek is pressed against my biceps, glaring up at me while Theo and Tai struggle to suppress their laughter.

  “Right then.” Dante slaps his palms onto his thighs with a crack as he stands. “Now that… that… is settled,” he gestures between Eric and me with a vague wave, “how are we getting there?”

  “Already lined up an Uber.” Theo is still grinning at Eric’s beet-red face. “We’ll make a quick trip to the store beforehand.”

  “Do we need to reserve a boat?” I ask, snaking my hand around Eric and drawing patterns on his back, feeling the gentle rise and fall of his breath.

  Theo shakes his head. “Took care of it.”

  “Well, look who’s running the show today.” I smirk at Dante as I say it, who stares at me with his signature unamused scowl. “If you’re not careful, Theo’s going to take your job, big man.”

  Dante rolls his eyes before glancing at Theo with obvious affection. “Doubt that.”

  Theo stands, hands on his narrow hips, and puts a dramatic hand over his heart. “Is that a challenge, Mr. Barrera? Because I’ll have you know that just because I am smol does not mean I can’t dominate your ass.”

  Cheers and whoops erupt from the group as Dante flushes as red as Eric had been moments ago. Theo winks and turns to walk away, glancing over his shoulder with a sassy smile. “And trust me, baby, you’d enjoy it.”

  The rest of us are cheesing like idiots, and Dante looks like he wants to spontaneously combust. I stand, clapping a heavy hand on his shoulder as I mumble low in his ear, “You wanted his attention, buddy… it would seem you’ve got it.”

  22

  A very surprised Uber driver pulls up to the tour bus, eying our party with wary curiosity as the five of us stampede down the stairs and climb into his van. “You guys a band or something?”

  “Or something,” Tai offers, and the driver—a crusty, grumpy man in his fifties named Mark—simply shrugs and puts his vehicle in drive.

  “Clothing first,” Theo directs from the seat right behind him. “And we’ll make it worth your while to park and wait.” This thaws some of the frost off Mark, although he’s still glancing between us with narrowed eyes.

  Probably trying to figure out if we’re important enough for him to take pictures or ask for autographs.

  Piled into the back of the van, I smile as Dmitri sneaks his hand into mine, weaving our fingers together. Leaning close, he whispers in a hushed tone that barely reaches my ears. “Not sure if you’ve noticed, but I, uh… I think the guys have figured out what’s going on between us.”

  “You think?” I ask dryly, and he chuckles at my flat expression.

  “I’m sorry… it’s pretty much all my fault. Please don’t be angry with me.” The tiny kisses he flutters on my knuckles are adorable, distracting me from his words momentarily.

  “Angry? Why in the world would I be angry?” He glances ahead, but no one pays attention to us at the back. They’re all distracted, chatting loudly and watching videos at full volume in the van.

  Mark looks annoyed by the noise.

  With a soft, affectionate smile, Dmitri leans over and presses a quick kiss behind my ear. “Because I told you this would move at your pace, but I have no chill around you. Zero. You didn’t want anyone to know…”

  “Hey, now, hold up,” I say, waiting for his eyes to connect with mine before I continue. “Don’t think for a second that I am ashamed of you or trying to hide you.”

  His voice holds no anger or accusation as he gently says, “I mean… no shade, babe, but you kind of are.”

  Guilt gnaws at my gut as I heave a loud, frustrated sigh. I can’t deny that he’s right. The incident at the fair with Billy Bob and his slurs only made it worse, amplifying this deep-seated fear of public scrutiny. I’m terrified of the judgement, so instead of facing it, I’ve just carried on like nothing’s changed.

  I’ve kept Dmitri hidden away from the world.

  Dragged him into the closet with me.

  The weight of my choices causes my mind to spin as I realize just how much I’m asking of him. The demand to keep our relationship in the dark because I can’t face the potential criticism. Because I don’t want to answer the questions about my sexuality.

  Because I am a coward.

  The selfishness, if left unchecked, will reach a breaking point.

  How long until he reaches his limit with the cloak and dagger charade? How many weeks, or months, until he grows tired of being treated like a fucking concubine, confined until it suits my convenience?

  He deserves better than to be someone’s dirty little secret.

  “Eric,” he whispers, eyes concerned and voice worried as I glance at him. “Your thoughts are getting really loud over there. What’s…”

  Without warning, the words tumble out, startling Tai and making him jump in front of me. “Do you guys care that I’m gay? Or bi? Or… fuck, something?”

  Well, that’s certainly one way to do it, I think as my brain catches up to my mouth.

  Dimitri gapes at me with his jaw hanging open, looking flustered and goddamned adorable. “You’ll catch flies, baby,” I tease as I push his mouth closed, but the surprise in his eyes doesn’t fade.

  “Of course not, dude,” Tai says, with a stronger conviction in his words than I’ve ever heard.

  “What he said,” Dante agrees emphatically.

  Theo turns, dramatic as always, his grin with a touch of melancholy behind it. “Y’all know I’ve been out of the closet since before I grew my first pube, so… absolute no from me. No judgement. Never, ever, any judgement.”

  Silence, thick and emotional, fills the van as I take a second to absorb everyone’s words. Their support.

  Mark booms from the driver’s seat in his gruff, annoyed voice. “For what it’s worth, I don’t care either.” My face splits as I try to hold my laughter in, but a loud, very unsexy snort escapes me, and soon we’re all in hysterics.

  Well, all of us but Mark.

  He still looks disgruntled.

  After the chaos subsides, I release a heavy exhale, my cheeks puffing out as I blow the air from my lungs. “Thanks, guys.” My voice is soft, but my words carry. “Can we maybe keep it between us for now?”

  After a unanimous chorus of agreement from the others, fatigue hits me like a ton of bricks, every ounce of energy sapped. My body slumps against Dmitri, who wraps his arm around me and presses his lips against my temple.

  Those might be my favorite of his kisses.

  “Proud of you,” he whispers. “I hope you didn’t feel obligated to do that for me.”

  “Conceited, much?” I tease, but there’s no bite to my tone. I feel him smile against me.

  “I meant what I said, Eric. All on your time.”

  I turn to face him, his eyes the color of maple syrup in the sunlight and just as sweet as he holds me in his arms.

  It’s unfair how beautiful he is, with that black thick hair and square jaw. The rough stubble growing in on his chin that scratches against my cheek, and his strong hands with long, thick fingers. Even the fucking veins that line them are sexy.

  But when he smiles, when it lights up his entire face… that’s when he’s truly breathtaking.

  All teeth and lips and pure unfiltered joy.

  “C’mere,” I whisper, and he turns serious as he drops his mouth to mine. It’s a gentle and fleeting kiss, so subtle yet filled with such deeper meaning, as if he can read my mind and comprehend just how much I need it.

  For the first time, I let myself enjoy the brush of his lips, not worrying that someone will see. Kiss him without the burden of judgement.

  And in that moment, I am free.

  “I cannot believe that I agreed to this.”

  We’ve piled back into Mark’s van after a trip to the “special” sporting goods store. One filled with a massive variety of ridiculous swimsuit options for tourists, ranging from tacky to borderline inappropriate.

  One or two screamed public indecency charges.

  Tai had the brilliant idea to do what he donned a 'Secret Swimwear' game. Think Secret Santa, except we’re not drawing names and anonymously buying gifts that the other person will love and cherish.

  Oh, no.

  Once we drew names, the store became a scavenger hunt for the most ridiculous, flamboyant swimsuits to buy for our chosen victim. There’s no way to know who got their name or what they bought for them, but these guys are brutal.

  Not a single one of us is getting out of this unscathed.

  We’re all sitting here giggling, crinkling plastic shopping bags in our laps that we’ll exchange once we get to the boat rental.

  Caught trying to steal a glimpse into Dmitri’s bag, his eyes narrow as he jerks it to his other side, silently chastising me. “At least tell me whose name you drew,” I pout, jutting my bottom lip out in a way that catches his attention.

  He bends forward, kissing me until my lips curl up into a smile. I peer at him through my lashes, fluttering them at him as his lips twitch, trying not to show me his amusement. “Please?”

  Once again, his body crowds me, his nose nuzzling against mine, lips trailing along the curve of my ear. Goosebumps blossom on my skin as his breath skirts across.

  “Nope,” he whispers, mocking me by popping the P.

  A loud laugh escapes me before I can contain it, and he’s smiling broadly as he pulls back. “You’ll have to wait your turn like everyone else, Peaches.”

  “Peaches?” Tai cranes to look at me as my neck burns hotter than a white flame. “What kind of nickname is that?”

  “The kind that will get you murdered in your sleep,” I growl, glaring at Dmitri as he smiles even bigger, undeterred. “And you, mister,” I jab him in his pec with enough force to make him wince, “are absolutely forbidden from calling me that.”

  “Forbidden, huh?” He rubs the sore spot on his chest while he looks down at it, then sweeps his gaze up, the thick curtains of his lashes shading his eyes. “And what, exactly, is my punishment if I do?”

  As Tai turns to face forward again, he lets out an exasperated sigh and mutters something about respecting personal boundaries, which makes me lose my composure and break into a playful grin that mirrors Dmitri’s.

  Thirty minutes later, we reach the boat tour office and say goodbye to Mark, whom we all have some weird kinship with now.

  Unreciprocated, of course. I’m sure he doesn’t feel the same.

  We crowd into the small room, animated chatter building as the lady behind the register hands out paperwork to everyone. She ushers us onto a boat, where we sit through a whirlwind of introductions and safety instruction. Twice, she has to answer where we can change clothes on board.

  Priorities, am I right?

  After a final thumbs up from us and the captain, the engine hums to life beneath our feet, and we putter away from the coast.

  Tai is practically vibrating with excitement, unable to sit still as he bounces in his seat, trying to contain himself by wedging his hands under his thighs. “Alright, let’s start with our fearless leader. Who got Dante’s name?” Dmitri’s face lights up in another giant smile as he passes his bag to Dante, who shuffles to the bathroom, grumbling.

  “You better have gotten him something good,” I say, unable to contain the grin that pulls my lips tight.

  “Just wait.” His dimple is fully pitted in his cheek, looking fucking delicious as he leans back and soaks in the sun.

  Dante’s bellow from inside the restroom is so powerful that it causes the door to rattle. “Are you fucking kidding me?” Dmitri’s smile spreads, stretching wide and exposing every single one of his teeth, making it impossible for the rest of us to keep a serious expression.

  The door swings open, and Dante’s face pops out, flushed in a furious shade of crimson. Hell, he might even be shaking. “I’m going to pay you back for this, Sticks, just you fucking wait.”

  “Stop hogging the bathroom and get out here,” Theo yells, and somehow, Dante’s head finds a way to turn darker. He stomps out in a hilarious act of defiance, clad in a pair of super skimpy, incredibly tight trunks, glittery script reading “Don’t Stop Believing” on one leg, while the other has a cartoon unicorn with a rainbow horn.

  Dante has a big build, and those purple shorts clinging to his meaty thighs have me struggling to hold back a snort.

  Eventually, I give in.

  Catcalls and whistles punctuate the laughter until Dmitri calls out, “Turn around!”

  If looks could kill, I’m pretty sure Dante’s glare would have Dmitri sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a pair of concrete shoes. But then he turns, ever so slowly, revealing a fluffy rainbow tail hanging off his ass. Raucous howls of laughter burst out from the group, exploding over the open water in a hysterical detonation. Even Dante can’t resist, a wide grin spreading across his face as he walks to his seat, shaking his head in amusement.

  Theo reaches out to pet the tail as Dante walks by, and in a rare loss of cool, Dante trips on his feet and flushes as he hurries to sit.

  “Alright, Dante, who’d you draw?”