“Nothing with you could ever be wrong,” he murmurs, lips locating mine in the darkness, salty with the lingering dampness of his tears. “Not when I love you like this. So much that I can’t breathe, can’t move, can’t even fucking think. I can’t do anything but love you.”

  My fears find a voice as I whisper, “I wish I could be more for you.”

  In a whirl of motion, he turns us and backs me up to the bed, and when the back of my knees meet the mattress, he guides me down onto it. Only when I’m lying flat does he separate our mouths.

  “Listen to me,” he murmurs as he climbs over me, kissing up the pillar of my neck and around my ear. “Hear me when I say I have loved you since the second I saw you. Since the day I learned your name and fell into your eyes… even knowing I could never have you, I was hopelessly gone for you.”

  He rips his shirt over his head before doing the same with mine, and then he’s back on top of me. “I love you still,” he whispers, and I whimper as he kisses along the hinge of my jaw. “I tried to stop. For years, I tried to stop loving you. Years. But I couldn’t… I fucking couldn’t. You are in every part of me. I don’t know how to not love you, not anymore.”

  I tug him against me, and heat sparks everywhere we touch—his fingers on my cheek, bare chest against mine, thigh gliding between my legs. “I need you,” I whisper, and it’s pure electric shock as his lips find my own. “Dmitri, please.”

  “Please what, baby?”

  My hand tightens in his hair, and I pull him backward, brown eyes never straying. “Give me everything. I need all of you.”

  A long, low, desperate moan rumbles from his chest as he crashes back into me. His hips drop to mine, and the friction from our bodies has me hard as a rock underneath my shorts. My hands snake behind him, gripping the flexing muscles of his ass, and I encourage him with every slow, deliberate roll against me.

  He breaks our kiss, trailing his lips down my neck and over my sternum. His tongue dances around my nipple rings until he grabs one with his teeth, tugging harder each time. Each nip serves as a line straight between my legs, and my cock flexes with every small jolt of pain.

  He manipulates me like a puppet master, switching between sides as I arch my back and reach for any point of contact I can find, desperate to feel him.

  With a final stinging bite to my nipple, his mouth explores further until he nuzzles his nose into the soft trail of hairs that leads south from my naval. “God, baby,” I groan as he inhales deeply.

  There’s a suggestive grin on his face as he hooks my waistband, the effects of his attention pressing against his chin. “Lift your hips, love,” he orders, and I immediately obey as he yanks my shorts and underwear down in a single, determined tug.

  Freed from the restrictive clothing, my cock bounces against my stomach, then defies gravity to stand tall. He climbs off me and pulls the clothes off my legs, leaving me exposed with nothing but sun-kissed skin and muscles on display before him.

  He drops over me, kissing along the crease between my hip and thigh. “You know, being here gives a whole new significance to your farmer’s tan.” I glance at my chest and thighs that are a solid three shades paler than the rest of my body.

  “That’s what you’re thinking about right now?”

  His smile illuminates his face and melts away the traces of his earlier stress. “Among other things.”

  He collects the pearly droplets that cling to my swollen crown with a few swipes of his tongue. “Fuck,” I groan, knees falling further apart as my ass flexes, bumping him with my overeager cock. He lets out a soft chuckle before taking me between his lips, creating a gentle suction.

  I try to arch into his mouth, but his palms on my thighs hold me in place. Slowly, ever so slowly, he takes more of me, sliding down my length by an inch before pulling up and gliding his tongue around the sensitive ridge of my crown. By the time his lips meet my skin, I’m a whimpering mess, pushing my body off the mattress as I make every effort to bury myself even deeper.

  He sucks up and off my cock, letting it slap onto my stomach. “Eric, look at me.” My head cranes off the bed, eyes blown out as I stare at him between my legs, palming his erection through his shorts. “I made you a promise that day on the rocks. Do you remember what I said?”

  “Shit,” I grunt, nodding and licking my lips. “Do I remember? How could I forget when I think about it twenty times a day? You said you’d fuck me… promised it’d be soon.”

  He leans over my body again, his finger swiping over the seam of my lips before pushing between them. My tongue twirls around that finger as he swirls it through my mouth, coating it. Once he’s satisfied, he pulls it out with a pop. Dripping with spit, he shifts lower and rubs gently over my hole.

  “That’s right, baby, I said I’d fuck you when I could lay you out and take my time with you.” As his finger slides inside me, I let out a soft moan and drop my head back onto the bed. “And I plan on doing just that, Eric. But first, I need to hear from you.”

  My head flies up as he pumps that single finger in and out of me. “Wha… what?”

  He reaches to grab his backpack without removing himself, digging in the side pocket and pulling out a container of lube. The lid pops open with a creak and he pours some over my opening, running his other fingers through it and spreading. “I’m going to work you open while we have a chat.”

  “You expect me to fucking talk right now?” I gasp, chest heaving as I look at him wide-eyed. “While you’re fingering my ass?”

  “I do,” he says with a nod, and my cock strains off my body as he adds a second finger. As he scissors them, stretching me slowly, a spurt of pre-cum launches from my tip and trickles down my length.

  My brain is reduced to nothing but a horny mush of gray matter, and he wants to have a conversation?

  “It’s important that you’re certain about this. Your first time is a big deal, Eric. Don’t play tough guy on me now and pretend that it isn’t. This is something you can’t take back, and I have to make sure it’s what you want. All the other things we’ve done could be seen as experimental… curiosity… but not this.”

  I understand what he leaves unsaid. After this, there’s no going back to how you were before. Your life as a straight man is in the past, dead and gone.

  What he doesn’t understand is that Straight Eric has been gone a long time now—since the day Dmitri woke up in my bed.

  Actually, if we're being completely honest... since the night of the Kappa Sigma party.

  “This isn’t a game to me. Not some experiment. You have to know that. I want this… want you.”

  His swallow is rough as he nods, and his fingers stretch me further as if to prove a point. “It’s possible—probable, even—that it will hurt. You might be overwhelmed.”

  I reach and grab a pillow to prop up on, giving him a soft smile. “You wouldn’t hurt me, Dmitri.”

  “Not on purpose. But you’ve only had fingers up here before now, and, well… my cock’s a lot bigger than my fingers.” I grin and then grunt as he stretches me further. “I don’t want you to regret it.”

  I shake my head, reaching down and cupping his cheek. “I’d never regret a thing with you. Never.”

  A third finger joins the other two and I gasp, arching my hips as my dick flexes again. Intent on preparing me, he moves at a deliberately slow pace until I’m on the edge of madness. “Your body is so responsive,” he praises as he bumps my prostate, and I whimper as a small, shimmering pool of excitement forms on my stomach.

  “I’ve got condoms,” he says, and I force my hazy brain to focus on him. “But I’ve also been tested since the last time I was with anyone, and I’m clean.”

  I nod emphatically. “Clean, I’m clean. I don’t want anything between us. Never again.”

  All three of his fingers sink into me to the final knuckle, and I feel every inch of the stretch as I rock into him. “One last thing,” he says, unable to hide his grin as I glare at him impatiently. “If it gets to be too much and you need me to stop or slow down, promise me you’ll speak up.”

  I’m nodding before he even finishes speaking. “I swear.” Right now, I’d agree to just about anything to get him inside me.

  I whimper as he slides his fingers out, leaving me empty and wanting. “Alright, baby. You’re ready.”

  31

  Emotions are running high, but my mind has never been so clear.

  “Please, I need you,” I beg, and my heart stutters at the serene smile he gives me as he positions himself. My eyes close as my head dips into the pillow, pulse thudding as he maneuvers my knees towards my chest.

  This is it… what I’ve been waiting for. The extinction of ‘him’ and ‘me’ until there’s only this… only us. Blurred lines that once separated us are fading as he inches closer.

  There are no second thoughts, only the pure relief of finally finding my way home.

  Belonging.

  The pressure is warm and welcome against my hole, the telltale snick of the lube bottle preceding the cool slick of it against my skin.

  “Eyes on me,” he commands, and my eyes fly open as his hand slides along his erection, his shorts shed on the floor. He notches at my opening, unblinking as he pauses. “Bear down for me, baby. We’ll start slow.” Nerves speed up my breathing as I nod, and he notices.

  Of course he does.

  “Eric,” he rasps as he starts to push forward. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” I whisper, the words so natural as they roll off my tongue. “I love…” Pressure makes me suck in a sharp inhale as his head slips past the first tight ring of muscle. “Holy fuck, you’re big,” I gasp on a loud inhale.

  I'm not an idiot, I didn't expect this to feel like heaven the instant he slipped inside me. But this... fucking stings. My breath gets ragged as my wide eyes meet his, watching me carefully. His fingertips trace random patterns on my thighs, the tickle distracting me from the burn.

  “Shh,” he soothes as I breathe deeply. “Relax, baby. Trust me, okay?” Another deep breath causes my chest to rise as I will my body to loosen. After a few cycles of controlled inhales, the burn becomes manageable. “That’s it, just like that. Are you ready for more?”

  “Yes,” I whisper, and he pushes forward, inching inside me. Every push brings a new sharp sting, but it fades as he takes his time rocking in and out. The pain had softened my cock, but he bumps my prostate, watching with hungry eyes as I thicken again.

  “Almost there,” he mutters with a strained voice, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. In one last calculated movement, he buries himself deep inside me.

  “God,” I groan, my whole body pulsing as I get used to the fullness.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah… yeah, I am. But Dmitri?”

  Concern clouds his face as he studies me. “Yeah, baby?”

  “I’m going to need you to move now,” I say, and his smile transforms into something indecent as he pulls his hips back.

  My moan is drawn-out and low as he pushes inside, still at an infuriatingly slow pace. He does this several times, pulling out and then smoothly rocking back in, moving with a predatory grace as he keeps a watchful eye on me. “Look how good you’re taking my cock.”

  His steady rhythm persists even as he moves faster, his eyes fixed on my face with each forward thrust. Slowly but surely, the discomfort fades and an extraordinary, indescribable pleasure takes its place, radiating through my body as it tingles through my limbs and curls my toes.

  “Talk to me, baby. How are you doing?”

  “Good… great.” I reach between us, making a V with my fingers and surrounding his cock, feeling the slick slide of him entering me. “Fuck, that’s so hot.”

  “You like that? Feeling where I’m inside you?” Dmitri’s cheeks are flushed, his body trembling as he patiently fucks me, and I can tell what it’s taking from him to restrain himself.

  “Dmitri, I need something from you.”

  He pauses, leaning forward, and I groan at the new angle. “Anything, baby.”

  My hand slides into his hair, yanking him forward until we’re almost touching. “Stop acting like I’m going to break, and fuck me.” His eyes darken and his lip curls up into a snarl as he withdraws and thrusts in, harder than before. "Oh!" I shout, my voice ringing out through the room. “Oh shit, just like that,” I grunt, as he does it again. Fingers curl around the sheets until my knuckles bleach with the strain.

  My body becomes looser, more pliant underneath him, and the restraint he’s holding onto begins to slip. I’m surrounded by him, drowning in his presence, and he has transformed me into nothing more than a desperate, love-drunk mess.

  Soft moans travel from his lips to my ear, and it’s a sound I’d give my last breath to hear again.

  His fingertips dig into my legs as he moves faster. Sex consumes every sense inside this room; you can smell it in our sweat-slicked bodies, hear it in the wet slap of skin on skin as he slides inside me.

  Feel it as the molecules around us dance with tension, a tangible force that consumes the air like a supernova. Heaven and earth, damnation and hellfire, all wrapped into one beautiful package as we pour our love into each other.

  And nothing, nothing, has ever felt this good.

  Delicious pressure balls in my core as he leans forward, crashing his lips against mine. Our kiss is messy and uncoordinated, at times nothing more than open mouths panting against each other.

  “Fuck, you’re so tight,” he gasps against my lips as his hips jerk in a series of quick, shallow motions.

  He lifts off me and grips my cock, and my mouth drops open in a silent moan as he strokes me in time with his thrusts. It’s an endless stream of pure, raw pleasure that I wish never had to end. From this day on, I want to live my life with him inside me.

  Under my skin, in my very blood.

  Every fiber of my being is at war with the next, torn between the desire for this to go on forever and the overwhelming urge for release. His thrusts deepen, arching into me with unguarded need. Each one carries such force that my head snaps back with the impact.

  “Fuck, I’m so close,” I moan, my breath catching in my throat. “Oh God, I’m about to come.” He adds a flick of his wrist, and my hands grip the pillow under my head, trying to find some sort of grip on the pieces of sanity I still cling to.

  “Don’t hold back,” he gasps, his voice jarred as he fucks into me. “Give me everything, baby. Come for me.”

  He shifts into a position that presses against my prostate, and I let out a cry that strains my throat. Every muscle in my body tenses with a constant strain, a throbbing in my core that intensifies and spreads until it’s almost too much to bear.

  His grip tightens and strokes speed up, keeping pace with his hips as they slam into me. My back curves off the mattress and then I’m launched straight to the edge of ecstasy. Soaring… weightless and free-falling.

  “Right there, right fucking there. Don’t stop, baby! Please don't stop.” I lose control of my volume as my body curls in on itself, building and building, until I break in a glorious undoing. “Oh my God, Dmitri! Harder, go harder. Fuck… fuck!” Release hits me like the crack of a whip, cutting into me and splitting me open as I call out until my throat aches. Hot streams of cum launch from my cock as it kicks in his hand, splashing across my stomach.

  Nonsense spills from my lips as the eruption wracks through my entire being.

  He loses all sense of rhythm as he canopies his body over me, breath hot on my face until he moans, hips punching forward. The heavy thump of his cock pounds inside me as he fills me with his warmth. Shallow, jerky thrusts spill into me until it overflows, seeping out around him and dripping down my skin.

  Even as he comes to a shuddering halt, lingering aftershocks course through my body, until there is nothing left for either of us to offer.

  Completely spent, we collapse together, his weight pressing against me like a security blanket and our hearts pounding in tandem as we lay chest-to-chest.

  Never in my life have I been as content and fulfilled as I am in this moment.

  After a few minutes, a wheezing chuckle leaves me, bouncing him with the rise of my lungs. “Are you alive?” I whisper, kissing his forehead, and his cheeks lift in a smile.

  “Debatable,” he says, lifting his head and resting his chin on my chest. “Might’ve died and gone to heaven.”

  My voice is raspy as I grin at him. “You’re saying my ass is heaven?”

  “God,” he groans, “I’m too fucked out for a witty comeback right now, so I’ll just let you have this one, baby. Your ass is heaven.” We both grunt as he shifts his hips, pulling out of me. Something primal within me roars as his release slides out in a warm rush.

  He moves onto the bed beside me, and I roll to my side so we’re facing each other. “Are you okay?” he asks. “Did I hurt you?”

  A sleepy smile spreads across my face. “That was, without a doubt, the most mind-blowing sex I’ve ever had.” I drop a kiss on his lips as he smiles. “You are fucking incredible, you know that?”

  “You might be sore tomorrow,” he warns, fingertips gliding up my back and causing a ticklish shiver to work its way up my spine. “And also, I’m pretty sure the entire house heard us.”

  “Fuck,” I groan, covering my eyes with my hands. “I guess I got a little loud, huh?”

  “Definitely more than a little,” he says with a hearty chuckle. “My filthy screamer.”

  An exasperated scoff escapes me as I shoot him an incredulous look. “I did not scream.” His response is an annoying, noncommittal hum, and my jaw drops open. “I didn’t!”

  A playful, mimicking tone takes over his voice as he flashes me an impish grin. “Oh, baby, give me your big fat dick, daddy.”

  “Oh, hell no!” I push him onto his back, and he bursts out laughing as I straddle him and pin him to the bed.