Dante gets some of his usual composure back as he hands Tai a package. A few minutes later, Tai struts out with all the confidence in the world, wearing a tiny neon pink speedo, even giving a runway model spin as he saunters to his seat.

  “Thanks, man,” he says with a catty grin directed at Dante. “Always wanted one of these.”

  Dmitri watches me as I laugh at Tai, all lean muscle and smooth, pale skin. He’s borderline skinny, but it works for him. A low growl in my ear drags a smirk across my mouth, and I bite my lip as I turn to meet his gaze, already knowing what I’ll find. “Playing with fire,” he mutters, and I squeak when he nips at my ear.

  Let me tell you, some very curious eyes turn in our direction as my cheeks flush.

  Tai tosses his bag to Theo, who, shortly after, yells from the bathroom. “Tai, I take personal offense to this!”

  He exits, arms crossed, wearing swim trunks that are impressively detailed and anatomically correct. Hairy legs and ass cheeks are printed on white fabric to make it look like he’s naked. Underneath the drawstrings, there’s even a tiny, blurred penis.

  Indignation is ripe on his face as he gives a Vanna White gesture down his lithe, smooth torso. “For the record, I am not this hairy, nor is my dick that small.” He points at the fuzzy image that’s no bigger than a baby carrot. “That needs to be documented somewhere.”

  More laughter ensues as Theo hands me a package and I take my turn in the dressing room. Pulling on the old-school swimsuit, I shake my head as I glance in the mirror. It’s a blue and white striped vintage-style suit with vertical lines that go from my knees up to the sleeveless arms. It even has a button-up flap in the back. They all chuckle as I walk out, and I choke on a laugh as I hand Dmitri my purchase.

  He’s going to kill me, and I am buzzing with excitement.

  “Why am I suddenly frightened?” he wonders aloud, and I struggle to hide my smile by pressing my lips together.

  “Just remember you love me,” I tease as he grabs the bag from me, freezing when I realize what I’ve said.

  He rumbles a quiet, contemplative hum as I stare up at him, predatorial smile on his face as he presses his thumb to my lower lip. “I’ll try,” he murmurs, his voice low, rough like he hasn’t spoken in days. He tugs my bottom lip down and then releases it, watching it pop back up to meet the top one before he walks away, leaving me weak in the knees.

  The entire exchange has my heart pounding so hard I’m lightheaded.

  Pulse racing, hands trembling, I’m mesmerized by his gorgeous body as he glances over his shoulder at me before disappearing.

  Theo mutters a very George Takei-sounding, “Oh, my,” while fanning his face.

  “Dude,” Tai says from beside me, also staring at the door that Dmitri just shut behind him. “It’s a good thing we’re all guys here.”

  “Why’s that?” My voice is as weak as the rest of me, because goddamn.

  “That cloud of sexual tension was potent enough to get someone pregnant. Immaculate conception just from breathing the air between you two. If there was a uterus around? Bam!” He slaps his hand on the wooden bench with a pop that makes me jump. “Baby-maker engaged.”

  I laugh, but I can’t shake the dizzying effect of the way he stared at me after my words sank in. The ghost of his touch on my lip still burns.

  For fuck’s sake, why can’t I learn to keep my mouth shut? Now I’m going to spend the next week analyzing what was said—and what was unsaid—between us.

  Thankfully, my train of thought is brought to a screeching halt when a loud burst of laughter comes from inside the bathroom. “Eric Samuel Woodard!” The others raise their eyebrows at me as he shouts my full name, and I’m giggling like an absolute maniac now, hands covering my mouth and feet kicking in glee as I wait for him to come out.

  His head whips around the door, glaring at me with mirth dancing in his eyes. “You are going to get it for this, do you hear me?” A flash of neon green has me cracking up even more, tears building in my eyes that I quickly swipe away, not wanting to miss the grand reveal.

  “Stop stalling and get out here,” I choke out, relishing the twitch of his lips as he pretends to be mad at me.

  With a heavy sigh, Dmitri steps from behind the door, clad in a Borat-style neon green monokini, forming a giant V on his torso from his crotch and up around his shoulders. He’s still giving me a piercing glare, his smirk barely contained, and my eyes can’t help but wander over his perfectly sculpted body.

  “Oh, my God,” Theo breathes, almost reverently. Because… yeah, my man is fucking hot. “I think you might win this one, Eric.”

  “Turn around!” I order, legitimately squealing into my fingers, and Dmitri puts his hands on his hips as he spins, his thong-clad rear end coming into view, showcasing every inch of his toned cheeks.

  Everyone is howling in laughter, and Dmitri’s face finally cracks open with a giant smile as he laughs and walks over to me. He’s in my ear as he whispers, “I mean it when I say there will be…” His tongue flicks across my ear. “…Consequences.”

  “Fuck,” I grunt, shifting in my seat. “If I pop a boner right now, there is no hiding it.”

  “Serves you right,” he mutters. “Putting my ass on display like that.”

  “Hey, at least I made sure there was plenty of padding on the crotch for you.”

  His eyebrows fly up. “Are you implying I’m lacking down south, Eric?”

  “Oh, come on,” I say with a roll of my eyes. “Do you need a confidence boost about the anaconda in your pants, Dmitri? Trouser snake seeking some reassurance?”

  His smile is smug as he leans closer, dragging his lips up the column of my neck. “That flap in the back of your suit? You better believe I’m going to put that to use, and when I do, I’ll give you firsthand experience with what’s in my pants. Just as soon as I get you alone, that ass is mine.”

  “Oh my God,” I groan, twisting my body towards him so the others can’t see what those words do to me.

  23

  “That’s it,” I mutter, watching as Eric’s rock-hard cock pushes against the front of his ridiculous swimsuit. My finger slides in and out of his tight ass, and every time I rub against his prostate, his erection flexes and strains against the fabric. “Look at you, baby. Fuck, look at that cock.”

  I'm doing my very best to keep my voice down, but I don't know how great of a job I'm doing. The rest of the band is less than a hundred feet away, somewhere along this empty stretch of beach we discovered after our relaxing afternoon on the boat. I dragged Eric into the water, and we swam until we found a big enough rock to hide behind.

  Once we determined we were out of sight, he climbed up into my lap, straddling my thighs. My finger pushed into his mouth, his tongue swirling around it as I reminded him I had a promise to uphold.

  “Do you want another?” I ask, sliding a second finger through the spit that coats his hole. “Hmm? You want more of me inside you?”

  “F-fuck, yes,” he groans, and he arches his back further as I tease another finger into him. I can’t divert my eyes as his thick cock stretches his swimsuit, obscenely hard, both fingers gliding in and out of him in a slow rhythm. “Oh my God, that’s so fucking good.”

  He rocks his hips, fucking onto my hand and reaching to stroke himself. I swat him away with a growl. “You haven’t been given permission to touch yourself.”

  “Fuck, please, baby,” he begs, and I scissor inside him to stretch him further.

  My lips part with my panting breath as he works himself on my fingers. “You’re going to take another.” His eyes widen as he stares at me, cheeks flushed and pupils blown, and the sight of him so wrecked has my mouth moving faster than my brain. “You will, baby. One more finger, because you have to be ready when I fuck you. I’ll stretch you so good, make it so good for you.”

  “N… now?” he asks as I circle his rim with my third finger before working it into his tight hole. I go slow, monitoring his every reaction to make sure I’m not hurting him. But it’s not pain that is making his eyes close and chest heave.

  He loves this.

  Throaty curses roll from his lips along with a steady chant of my name, and his whines turn needy. His cock thumps visibly as my fingers slide into him.

  “No, baby, not now. When I fuck you, it will be somewhere I can take my time with you. Lay your body out and worship you until you’re so drained you can’t move. Do you want that? My cock inside you instead of my hand?”

  “I want you to fuck me, right now,” he gasps, his hips speeding up as he loosens and I thrust into him, matching his tempo. “Please, please… please, baby. Give it to me.”

  “No, my sweet, I’d hurt you. But soon, okay? Very soon, and I’ll take such good care of you.” His forehead pushes against mine, sharing my air as he pants against my mouth.

  “Do you… nghh… do you promise?” I find his prostate again, pumping my fingers against it as he calls out louder and louder. No doubt the others can hear us, but we’re beyond caring. “Jesus fuck, that’s so good,” he moans, and I know he’s close.

  My fingers thrust faster as his hips roll, and my cock is so hard I could come just from watching him. “What should I do with all that cum when you shoot off? Let it soak your clothes, so you have to wear it the rest of the day? Make you sit in your filth and remember that you came with my fingers in your ass?”

  “Yes,” he hisses, his cock tensing in a continuous strain.

  “Yeah, you’d love that, huh? Is that what you are? My filthy boy?” He bounces faster, water sloshing around us as he works himself up to the edge, ready to fall. His thighs tremble and jerk, and then his hands land on my shoulders as he bears down, taking me knuckle deep. “That’s it… take what you need. I want to feel you come.”

  A few more slams on my hand and his head throws back. “Fuck, fuck!” His mouth drops open, forming a perfect O as his ring of muscles squeezes around my fingers.

  “What a good boy,” I purr, thrusting faster as his whole body quivers, and then he releases a low, guttural moan. His cock jerks inside his suit, pounding in visible beats as thick streams of cum soak into the fabric. The swollen length of him thumps in time with the spurts that shoot from his slit, the pretty pink head showing through the wet material as he empties himself for me. “Such a filthy boy, coming without me even touching your cock.”

  “Oh, God,” he moans, his ass still pulsing around my hand as his orgasm draws out, and I can’t divert my eyes as a few more spasms work their way through him. When he’s spent, he sags against my body, breathing heavily against my neck.

  He whimpers quietly as I slide my fingers out of him. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” I whisper, dotting kisses all along his face.

  “It stung at first, but that was fucking amazing. I’ve never come that hard.” He shifts in my lap, the steel of my erection pushing against him. He slides backwards on my legs, groaning when he glances between my thighs.

  My cock is so rigid that this absurd suit can no longer confine it, my leaking tip protruding from the side while one of my balls bulges out the other. He drags a single fingertip up the underside, watching as it leaps against his touch. “You sure you don’t want to fuck me?”

  “Goddamn it, Eric,” I groan as a rush of pre-cum leaks from me. “Don’t tempt me, because I’d hurt you right now.”

  He glides his hand up my length and I moan, shoving my hips up and grinding on his palm. “You’re so close, aren’t you, baby?”

  “Yes,” I grit as he hooks a finger through my swimsuit, tugging it to the side and exposing me completely. He circles both hands around my length before leaning forward and giving me a lewd smile.

  He starts stroking, twisting his wrists in opposite directions with a light grip. “Want me to be filthy for you?” he asks with a deep rasp. When I nod frantically, he grins again. He leans forward, spitting onto my pulsing cock and spreading it with his palms.

  “More,” I gasp, attempting to lift my hips against his weight in my lap.

  A single strand of saliva glistens as it leaves his parted lips, warm as it lands on my skin. Slick hands move faster, tightening his grip as my head falls back onto my shoulders.

  “Fuck, Eric, I’m not going to last. I’m too…” My feet find a grip on the rocks, one of his hands landing on my chest for balance as I thrust upwards into his fist. My nuts tighten around my shaft, aching for relief. “Too close,” I grunt.

  Wrapping the second hand back around me, his huge hands swallow my cock as he works me senseless. “You’re going to come all over me, baby. Soak me so I have to wear it the rest of the day. That’s what you want, isn’t it? For me to be dirty for you?”

  “Fuck, yes,” I cry out, powerful breaths forcing their way through my clenched teeth as I shove up into him. The orgasm crashes through me, intense and unexpected, a bullet of pure pleasure tearing down my body and then back up.

  My thighs tense and shake as he strokes my erupting cock, while heavy, draining spurts of cum shoot all the way up to his mouth. I continue to thrust, groaning loudly as the streams of creamy liquid drench the front of his swimsuit, streaking up his chest and stomach as I unload.

  After I’m spent, Eric releases me, letting my cock fall against my leg with a slap. Cum dribbles from his lips and down his chin, and I take a mental snapshot of him just like this.

  “Fuck, you came so much,” he laughs, voice raspy, as I tuck my chin against my chest and chuckle.

  “I blame my sexy boyfriend.”

  His eyes darken as he slides my bathing suit back in place, pushing his cum-covered lips against mine. I drag my tongue across his lips before sliding it into his mouth, and he lets out a sweet moan at the taste passing between us. “Boyfriend, huh?”

  I smile against his mouth. “Yeah, maybe.”

  “Only maybe? Ouch.”

  He tries to kiss me again, but I catch him by his hair and pull him back to meet my eyes. Despite our playful banter, I need him to recognize the gravity of my words.

  “Boyfriend seems like such a weak word, doesn’t it, to call this thing between us? It’s too ordinary, too mundane, for what we have. This chemistry… this earth-shattering, life-changing place I’ve found with you.”

  I drop a kiss to his lips as he watches me, rapt. “My body responds to you in ways I’ve never experienced. But this? You and me? We’re so much more than the physical. The way you understand me without words, how you ease my worries and make me feel safe. Like this…” I drag his hand until his palm is flat over my heart, “is safe with you. It’s how I know I’m home after such a long time away.”

  “Yeah,” he says, voice catching as his eyes gloss over with unshed tears. “It seems a bit insignificant, doesn’t it?”

  “It does,” I agree as I lean in, letting my lips brush against his and relishing the shiver it causes. “But I guess it’ll have to do for now.”

  “For now,” he parrots as he binds his arms around my neck, and then I’m lost in him once again.

  The day off to relax has recharged all of us, and the following night, our Tallahassee show is in full swing. Though he’ll never admit it, I know the pressure of the growing crowd we’re attracting is affecting Eric. The stadium didn’t quite sell out tonight, but we are nearing maximum capacity.

  As the band’s front man, he has a greater share of the responsibility on his shoulders. He’s the one in the spotlight, the one who everyone recognizes. The face of Falling Absent.

  And what a perfect face it is.

  At the midpoint of our set, Eric is immersed in his performance, belting out the lyrics with such intensity that he arches back, creating space for his lungs to expand. The stage lights hit him just right, highlighting the angles and lines of his face and reflecting off the mist of sweat that covers his skin like morning dew.

  I could listen to him all day.

  Deep and powerful, with a slight rasp, his voice is an AMSR dream to my brain. The way it skirts across my skin is like fingernails against my scalp, tingly and hypnotic.

  There’s a haunting, melancholic undertone to the song he’s singing. One that digs its smoky tendrils into my heart and pushes on my chest with an invisible weight that steals my air.

  This is the first time we’ve performed this song, and the lyrics are taking on a whole new depth, demanding my attention in a way they never had before tonight. Now that I know the truth about what happened between Eric and me all those years ago… suddenly I’m suffocating, unable to find room for air.

  “You took my heart like I owed it to you, stole away in the night while it still beat in your hands.” There’s so much emotion festering inside him, threatening to burst out as he grips the mic, his eyes squeezed closed.

  And I…

  I can’t breathe.

  “Painted over all this pain with anger, because that’s what cowards do. Couldn’t take knowing you still carried that piece of me inside you.”

  Surrounded by a sea of people, he stands out as the lone figure, disconnected from the crowd. Secluded and alone. The lights shift to a deep cobalt blue, and Eric’s presence takes on a weightless quality, like he’s hovering in the middle of the ocean. Floating. Drowning.

  Isolated in his memories of his broken heart.

  Tears prickle in my eyes as I force myself to keep up with the song, but inside, I know.

  I’m sure.

  This was me.

  “Now you’re out there, somewhere out there, watching me slowly fall apart. Never once letting me forget there’s a void in place of my heart.” He arches backwards once more, breath filling his lungs, and a solitary tear runs down my cheek, merging with the sweat that already slicks my trembling body.

  In a powerful bellow, he sings, “Give me back this love of mine. This love of mine. You’ve used it ‘til it’s dead, left me bleeding red. Give me back this love of mine.”

  The break kicks in, causing the mic to fall from his lips, allowing him a few precious seconds to recover his breath. Grief lines every contour of his face, and God, does no one notice? Are they all blind?