“You need to find time, Ash.” Cherise’s expression took on a motherly quality, and I knew she meant business considering I could feel the weight of her disappointment pressing between my shoulders. “This is serious. It’s your life we’re talking about. It’s the part that makes you you. If you don’t find balance soon, you’ll lose yourself.”

  I nodded. “Okay. You’re right. I’ll prioritize it.”

  She hesitated, clearly skeptical.

  “I’ll make sure she does,” Vinny said, surprising me again. “It’s my job to make sure she triggers her wolf,” he explained. “I got this, doc.”

  Cherise transferred her lecturey-mom look to him, and he squirmed underneath the weight of it. “Make sure that you do your job then, Vinny. I’d hate to have my trust in you broken. Again.”

  He ducked his head. “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Well then.” She blinked, flashing a winning smile at me before waving and walking off. “See you.”

  “Later,” I called weakly.

  When she was gone, I turned to Vinny warily.

  “You want to tell me what that was about?” I asked.

  “What?”

  “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you sounded concerned about my welfare.”

  He shrugged.

  “That’s it? You tried to kill me twice, and all I get is a shrug?”

  He scowled. “I only tried to kill you once.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Right.”

  “When I bit you… I really did want to trigger your wolf.”

  I glared at him, disbelieving.

  “It’s true,” he said emphatically. “You would have gotten killed if you hadn’t shifted that day.”

  He wasn’t wrong.

  Still…

  “And the second time? In the woods?”

  “Okay, fine, that was a dick move.”

  “Yeah, I’d say it was.”

  “Look, Drake promised us all equal status if he became alpha. Money, power, chicks. He spouted a lot of bullshit that our wolves had been hungry for long before you came along. That night…”

  He shook his head, his expression pained. “You don’t know what it was like, our wolves being so unhinged for so long. It felt like…like losing control but in slow motion. Like in a dream. You can see it happening. Feel it slipping. But you can’t do anything to stop it.” He looked up at me again with pain shining in his dark eyes. “It fucking sucks.”

  His words hit way closer to home than he knew. I could relate to every part of what he described. Because I was going through it right now.

  I put a hand on his shoulder, and he stilled underneath my touch.

  “Vinny, that’s the most honest, real thing you’ve ever said to me. I appreciate it.”

  “Really?” he asked, wary now. “You’re not going to rip out my throat?”

  “I’m not going to rip out your throat,” I confirmed.

  “And you’re not going to do that weird alpha thing to me again so I have to do whatever you say?”

  “No plans as of now,” I said.

  I couldn’t if I tried.

  He exhaled as I dropped my hand.

  “So, this company you’re forming. It’s really going to give us all jobs and money and all that shit?”

  “Absolutely. Well, hopefully. I mean, if it works like it’s supposed to.”

  He looked unconvinced. “You’re really going to pay us all instead of keeping it for yourself?”

  “Vin, I’m not interested in hoarding the rewards. Our pack only works if we’re all happy. I’m not Drake.”

  He hesitated, clearly thinking that over. Finally, he looked up again, his expression clear and calm as if he’d decided to accept that I was telling the truth.

  “And the chicks?” he added, so genuinely hopeful that I had to bite back the laughter that rose up. The ridiculousness of his request made it hard.

  “Sorry, dude. You’ll have to get the chicks on your own.”

  *.*.*

  Idrissa wasn’t home. She also wasn’t answering her phone. A quick check of the patrol schedule showed she had the day off, but if she was in Ridley Falls, she obviously didn’t want to be found. After convincing Kai to spend the day with Crater—he’d begun unleashing his wolf to hunt small game, which seemed to help stave off the darkness inside him—I spent an hour around town asking if anyone had seen Idrissa, but no one had. Figured. She’d been so absent lately, I had no choice but to admit she was actively avoiding me. At least, it wasn’t personal. She was avoiding everyone. Just as I gave up and made my way back to the Throttle, I caught sight of another familiar figure throwing a leg over his motorcycle before gunning the engine and heading through town.

  Silas didn’t look over as he passed by where I’d parked with his longish hair blowing in the wind as he rode by on a Harley probably older than me. I watched until he made it to the end of the street and then made a left, disappearing out of sight. My hesitation lasted only another few seconds before I turned the key over in the ignition of what had more or less become my truck (thanks, Oz) and headed in the same direction as Silas.

  I caught up to him easily. He wasn’t trying to speed, and evidently, he wasn’t paying attention to a tail because he pulled off the road onto the grassy shoulder without bothering to hide his motorcycle inside the thick trees that lined the road.

  I slowed, hanging back until he’d disappeared into the woods on foot, and then parked beside him. Whatever he was doing out here, it wasn’t official pack business. And after as often as he’d been missing lately, I was intrigued enough to give in to what might be a terrible idea.

  I followed him into the woods and then, almost immediately, lost the trail. He’d shifted, obviously, and was now so far ahead of me, who knew when or if I’d catch up now.

  The magic moved lazily underneath my skin, putting my wolf out of reach—as usual. But I strained, reaching for the supernatural senses I knew were there.

  Then I inhaled.

  His scent was faint but there. I ran, hoping to track him before I lost my grip on my ability. Part of me worried at the noise I made crashing through the dried leaves and downed branches, but the other part screamed at me to hurry the hell up before he heard me coming and vanished completely.

  Almost an hour later, I was dead on my feet and breathless to the point of wheezing when his scent suddenly grew strong.

  He was close.

  Looking around, I frowned as the scenery finally triggered my own memory. I recognized this place. I’d been just as tired the first time I’d come here. Nearly unconscious. Actually, scratch that. I had been unconscious, at least for the last part of the walk. But when I’d woken here, I’d gained enough of my senses that its familiarity clicked into place for me now.

  I’d met Kel here in secret to discuss my magic.

  This was Silas’ old camping ground.

  The one where, according to Kai and the others, something terrible had happened to change Silas forever.

  What the hell was he doing here now?

  I crept closer. Slowly. As quietly as I could with my burning, wheezing lungs. Crouching behind a thick tree, I peeked around and scanned for Silas. But the campsite was empty.

  What the hell?

  I could have sworn he’d been there a moment ago.

  I rose and took a step toward the spot where I’d seen him sitting, but a low growl from behind stopped me in my tracks.

  Slowly, I turned and found Silas’ wolf baring its teeth at me.

  “Si, listen,” I said, but he snarled. Loudly. Lunging at me while he did it. He stopped just short of actually making contact.

  I glared.

  “Don’t be an asshole,” I snapped.

  More snarls.

  “Look, excuse me for giving a shit about you,” I said and then turned to leave. Stomping back through the trees, I yelled, “I think it’s bull shit that your wolf chose me as its alpha and then you go and abandon us all for some creepy campsite, but don’t let me stop you from whatever new life you’re starting for yourself out here. Just screw the rest of us who were there for you, right? Ugh.”

  I made it another few yards before I heard a gravelly voice behind me say, “Wait.”

  When I turned, I found a naked Silas eyeing me with something resembling grudging acceptance.

  “If you’re going to talk to me, at least, put some clothes on,” I said.

  He grunted then turned back for the campsite. After a quick rummage behind some rocks, he came away with a pair of shorts and shrugged them on quickly. It wasn’t lost on me that he’d clearly spent enough time here to warrant keeping a stash of extra supplies.

  That only had me more interested.

  “What’s going on?” I demanded, walking back to where he waited.

  “You’re the one following me,” he said.

  “I wouldn’t have to if you’d just tell someone where it is you’ve been sneaking off to. Is it this?” I glanced around the camp that looked lonelier now without a group of us gathered around. At least, with Kel and Presley, the space had felt friendly. But now, it just seemed dreary. Like a scene from the past that never quite slides comfortably into the present.

  “I just need to think,” Silas said.

  I stared at him as he bent and began building a fire.

  The urge to yell was strong, but in the end, I didn’t see the point. Silas was used to that, and all it ever did was make him shut down. I hadn’t realized how well I could predict his behavior until now. Or how little I really knew about the real Silas Hale.

  Instead, I sat across from him and watched as he coaxed flame out of the kindling he’d arranged.

  When the fire crackled, he looked over at me, his eyes wells of secrets.

  “Why did you look into the hexerei?” I asked.

  His eyes flashed. “I told you, I make it my business to—”

  “Know your enemies, yeah, yeah, I got that.” I waved a hand. He frowned. “But seriously,” I pressed. “It doesn’t quite fit for me. You hated the hexerei enough to kill that spy in your cabin when you thought he gave me all their secrets. And then you willingly brought me here to meet with their second in command to bring her in as an ally for us. A partnership you’ve never once argued or fought against.”

  He eyed me. “Is there a question in there?”

  “What are you hiding?” I demanded.

  Then because he didn’t answer, and because I caught a flash of guilt in a rare moment of vulnerability, I blurted, “Are you in love with a witch?”

  “What?” His eyes widened then squeezed shut as he shook his head in obvious frustration. “No, I’m not in love with— Ash, for the smartest girl I’ve ever met, you can be a real idiot sometimes.”

  “Your backhanded compliments aren’t going to distract me, Silas.”

  His jaw tightened, and he seemed to battle himself about something. Finally, whatever he’d been holding back apparently won out because he looked straight into my eyes and said words I never, ever counted on from Silas Hale.

  “I’m not in love with a witch, Ashes. I am one.”

  Chapter Twelve

  I fell right off the log I was perched on and landed on my ass in the dirt. My mouth opened, but no words would come. Part of me wanted to call bull shit, but one look at Silas’ expression and I knew he was telling the truth.

  Somewhere in the woods, a bird called out, and in this moment, it was the second loneliest sound I’d ever heard. The first had to be the words Silas had just uttered to me.

  “Does anyone else know?” I asked, my voice hoarse as I climbed back up onto the log.

  Silas hesitated. “Idrissa.”

  “All this time…?”

  “No.” he shook his head once firmly. “Recently. I took her out and… I needed help with what it all meant now that you’re here.”

  I blinked, remembering how he’d asked her out on a date when I’d first come to town. And her returning from the date with a strange reaction to anyone who asked how it went. She hadn’t brought it up since, in fact.

  It hadn’t been romantic; that much had been clear. Now I knew what it had been. An opportunity to divulge a secret.

  “Wait. What do you mean now that I’m here?” I asked.

  He studied me, assessing. I didn’t bother to defend myself. Silas knew me well enough. Better than I gave him credit for, it seemed.

  “I found out about my… heritage right here in this spot.” He glanced around us, eyes flicking over the rocks and then higher to the canopy of trees above our heads. “It wasn’t a happy day,” he added, and I could see from the twisting of his expression that those words were an understatement.

  “Your senior year,” I said. “The camping trip you took alone. When you came back, you were different.”

  “No.” He hung his head, staring into the fire. “I’d always been different. That much I knew. That was just the day I found out the truth. My father was a wolf shifter and his father before him. My mother— I’d seen a photo once, but I never knew her. Until the day I came here to camp—to get away from it all—and found her waiting.”

  His mother, a hexerei.

  My eyes widened. “Your mother came here to tell you the truth.”

  And violated the treaty to do it.

  “I honestly didn’t want to believe it. The whole way home that weekend, I told myself it was a cruel joke. A ploy from the hexerei to try to reel me in and divide the pack from the inside. But when I got home, my old man confirmed it.”

  “And that’s why you hate them,” I murmured, caught up in a story that spanned years. Decades. A torturous truth that would have changed anyone. No wonder he was never the same after that.

  I didn’t bother to ask why he’d never told the others. Even Kai or Presley. With their wolves so unhinged, telling any of the pack would have absolutely risked his place here. His safety.

  Hell, I knew all too well how easily they would have turned on him over something like that.

  “I became the voice of the pack when it came to interrogating them,” Silas said grimly. “If I could be alone with them, I could ask my own questions. Get my own answers.”

  “And did you?”

  “Unfortunately.” He looked at me again; pain, suffering reflected back at me now. “That’s why I killed that guy who talked to you. It wasn’t his secrets or yours that I was worried about.”

  “You thought he’d tell me the truth about you,” I realized.

  He didn’t answer.

  I shook my head. “I still don’t see what all this has to do with me. I mean, sure, we’re the same, and that must have been weird for you but—”

  “It wasn’t weird for me,” he snapped.

  “Then what made you tell Idrissa?” I asked. “After I showed up, I mean, how did that change anything?”

  “Kel’s magic came back to her when you and Kai mated,” he said quietly.

  “So?”

  “So, apparently, mine did too.”

  I gripped the log a second time, just in case. “Seriously?”

  He sighed, running his hand through his hair in a motion that bordered on violence. “Look, I’m only telling you this because I’m sick of pretending. I’m still a shifter. Nothing has changed.”

  “I didn’t say you weren’t,” I said.

  “Yeah, but they will.”

  I couldn’t bring myself to tell him he was wrong. We both knew the possibilities if he decided to come out about this.

  “There are more hybrids in Ridley Falls than you think,” I said instead.

  His eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Like who?”

  I shook my head. “I can’t give you names. Not without permission.” He scowled. “But I can tell you we’re not the only ones.”

  He snorted. “Okay, fine. But can any of them do this?”

  Silas grabbed my wrist, squeezing tight, and I gasped as the low-key sense of nausea drained from my body. In its place was an emptiness I hadn’t known I needed until it happened. In its place was just … me.

  My wolf sprang to life, howling and clawing her way to the surface. I had to fight to keep hold of my human form. Silas watched me expectantly. I blinked up at him, wide-eyed, trying to understand.

  “The magic,” I said, awed. Relieved. “It’s gone.”

  I stared down at where he gripped my arm.

  “How?” I breathed.

  “No fucking clue.” His voice was strained like he was struggling with something.

  “You’re… you can just take it from me?” I asked, still soaking in the sense of my inner beast. And the absence of the magic whose presence had begun to drown me—a horrifying sensation I hadn’t even recognized until it was gone.

  “Not permanently.”

  He let go of my arm, and the magic came rushing back. The herbs muted the worst of it, but I still gritted my teeth against the onslaught of pure power once again thrumming inside my veins.

  When I looked at Silas again, worry shone in his tight features.

  “What are you?” I asked. “I mean, what kind of ability…”

  I trailed off, unable to finish until I got my bearings.

  “I’m a sponge, I guess,” he said flatly.

  “Is that what it’s called? Someone who can soak up another’s magic?”

  “How should I fucking know?” he snapped. “I made it up.”

  “Right.” I glanced over at him and noted he’d gone a little pale. “You okay?”

  He gave me a look that almost bordered on empathy. “Is that what you’re carrying around all the time?”

  I shrugged.

  “That shit is potent.” He shook his head.

  “How did you… I mean, how did you even know you could do this?” I wondered.

  Farther away, a branch snapped and I tensed. But then, silence returned and I focused on Silas again.

  “Your friend Kel,” he said. “The day she met us here. She’s clairvoyant, right?”

  I stared at his profile, trying to unpack his words. “You took her gift?” He didn’t answer. “You saw something.”

  The weight of his silence sat heavily with me. Whatever he’d seen, it hadn’t been good.

  “You can’t give Cohen the magic, Ash.”