Kai and Idrissa walked on either side of me, but neither one said a word. We’d ridden here in Kai’s truck with Idrissa following on her dirt bike. I’d called Oscar from Kai’s phone and assured him I was safe. “Oh thank goodness,” Cherise had said in the background. My heart warmed knowing Oscar wasn’t alone anymore. I’d promised to see him later. Then I’d ended the call, and the three of us had walked up together from the driveway in complete silence.

  The moment the security team saw us, they fell silent too.

  Adan broke off from them and came to meet us.

  This field made me think of another day. Another face-off. Another hexerei. I looked around for Vinny only to remember I’d given him the day off.

  That was fine.

  I didn’t need his nosy, incessant questions.

  I could already feel the others wondering at my reactions.

  “Ash,” Adan said. “Can I get you anything? Do you need any supplies or—”

  “No, I’m fine,” I said.

  “Your magic,” he began.

  “It works on its own. No assembly required.”

  In theory anyway. I hadn’t actually tried to use it since I’d absorbed what was in that necklace. In fact, I’d been trying like hell not to use any of it ever since.

  He stepped aside. “She’s all yours.”

  I hesitated. “Is she awake?”

  “She’s been in and out since last night. We gave her the herbs you suggested, and that only seemed to weaken her more. She slept through the night, but she woke up an hour ago and seems fairly lucid now.”

  My stomach tightened.

  This would have been so much easier if she’d been unconscious.

  “Fine,” I said and started for the door.

  At least, this way, I could finally get answers.

  Corbin pulled the door open and held it wide to let me pass. I nodded at him, grateful for another friendly face. Then I stopped and turned back to Kai.

  “Can I…”

  “I’ll be right here,” he said, stepping back.

  I exhaled. “Thanks.”

  He gave me one last look before closing the door, sealing me in.

  Inside, her scent hit me first, and twelve years of childhood memories came rushing back to me at once.

  Someone had dragged a cot into the corner of the room. A bucket sat in the corner, but it had apparently been emptied recently—or not used at all. The only other item in the room was a single wooden chair, scuffed and stained with what I knew to be blood.

  Hexerei blood.

  Even that horrific memory paled in comparison to what I felt for the woman staring back at me from the thin mattress against the wall.

  Her hair had been cut short and then left to its own making. Waves curled around her ears, angled and messy. Bangs slid sideways across her forehead as if she’d rather brush them aside than cut them again. Brown eyes stared back at me from above a slightly pointed nose. Her features had always felt sharp in a way that didn’t take anyone’s shit. I used to love her appearance, her presence. Her energy.

  Now, it made me sick.

  “Ash, goddess, you are beautiful,” she breathed.

  I blinked back tears that felt like traitors.

  “Mother,” I said coolly. “You look like shit.”

  “Yes.” She swallowed hard and eased back onto the bed, glancing down at herself. “I suppose I do.”

  Her unwillingness to fight only made it worse.

  I stepped closer, wanting only to get this over with and get the hell out. Already, my stomach churned with the magic slowly breaking free from whatever temporary dam Silas had built for it. It knew what I wanted. It would waste no time either.

  I strode to my mother’s bedside and knelt beside her. My eyes landed on her hands. They’d been scraped raw. A few of her fingernails were missing. Farther up, I noted the bruises peeking out from underneath the oversized shirt she wore. A man’s shirt. Someone had taken her clothes, and I had a feeling it wasn’t us.

  Cohen had done this to her.

  The image of him and his men attacking her, ripping her clothes off, infuriated me.

  I shook it off.

  Why the hell did I care?

  “I’m sorry I’m not more myself,” she said. “I’m not feeling so well.”

  My eyes flicked to her face. It was pale. Dark circles ringed her eyes.

  Her words were clearly an understatement.

  “I’m going to take care of it,” I said, but some of the acid had left my voice.

  I needed to get the hell out of here.

  Like she’d done to me seven years ago.

  I reached out and laid my hand over hers. It was cold. The contact surprised us both because we each jerked a little. I glanced up and found her watching me. Her expression softened.

  “God, I’ve missed you,” she said in a voice etched in exhaustion.

  I didn’t answer.

  Instead, I drew on the bottomless well of magic at my disposal and willed it to heal her.

  The magic rose and swelled against my skin.

  I bit my lip, bracing against the pressure and waiting for it to ease as the power transferred from me to her.

  But it never did.

  After several moments, my mother said, “I see you’ve found it then.”

  Her words held so much knowing, so much truth, it nearly bowled me over. Instead, I snatched my hand away, scrambling to my feet as I backed away from her.

  The magic licked at its cage, burning my veins with its power.

  “No thanks to you.”

  “Careful, Ash. Your energy is turbulent.”

  “I can’t imagine why,” I snapped. “Oh, right. Because you stored an entire coven’s worth of magic inside a necklace and then gave it to me as a consolation prize for abandoning us.”

  “That’s not why—”

  “Well, you should know it was a cheap piece of jewelry because it broke. And now, all that magic is inside me.”

  She didn’t look surprised at the last part. So, either Cohen had told her what happened or she’d figured it out for herself. Or she’d known all along what her curse would do to me.

  “Have you not merged it then?”

  Merged what?

  “What I have or have not done is absolutely none of your business. Look, I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but clearly it’s not something the magic wants to fix. So, you’re on your own. Just like you left me.”

  I turned for the door, but her words stopped me.

  “The magic can’t heal me because blood oaths are stronger than even the goddess’ gifts.”

  I turned. Slowly. And stared at her.

  “What do you mean?” I asked, my words measured.

  “Cohen told me what you did,” she said quietly. “The blood oath. Swearing on my life. It was smart. It was the right thing, Ash. Don’t worry about me, okay? I knew what I risked when I cast this curse.”

  “Exactly,” I hissed. “You cast this curse. And now I’m here, cleaning up your mess. If you think I’m going to feel sorry for you, you’re dead fucking wrong.”

  “This is your pack, isn’t it?” she asked.

  The change of subject knocked me off balance. I was already reeling at how casually she’d mentioned the curse and how easily she’d admitted being the one to cast it. Like all of my sleuthing and wondering and sometimes even refusing to believe her capable had been for nothing.

  I felt stupid.

  “Those people out there,” she added. “They’re taking orders from you, aren’t they?”

  The pride in her voice pissed me off.

  “Despite your efforts to keep me away, I found my way back to where I belong.”

  And now more than ever, I knew I couldn’t leave. If only to keep from becoming just like her.

  “Oh, Ash, I never wanted to keep you from your destiny. But you’ve met Cohen. Surely you can understand why I did what I did. The curse was the only way—

  “The curse hurt thousands of people, Mom. Thousands. Since when is your life more important than all of theirs?”

  “Their lives would have ended if not for the curse,” she said. “Cohen’s a monster.”

  “Using magic to hurt the wolves,” I said with disgust. “I know all about it. Some could say the same of you.”

  “Your father understood—”

  “Do not bring Dad into this.”

  “He wanted this for you, Ash. Not just the pack but peace. Bringing our people together. He loved you.”

  I snorted. “Thanks, but I already knew that since those were his last words to me before he died in my arms.”

  She flinched.

  I’d hit a nerve, and now that I knew I couldn’t stop.

  “The night he died, he shifted. Did you know that?”

  Her eyes widened. “No. I didn’t think he could anymore.”

  “He couldn’t. His body made it about halfway before it rejected him. He looked like a demon to me, and you know what my first thought was? I thought, ‘What the hell just happened to my father and how am I going to fix him?’”

  After a beat of silence, she said, “The mark of a true leader, already looking for a solution.”

  “No,” I nearly screamed. “Don’t you get it? It should never have fallen to me to fix anything in the first place. Not when you were the one who made the damn mess.”

  “Ash, I—”

  “He tried to shift until his body gave out, rejecting both his human and his wolf. And then he was shot. Right in front of me. He died on a dirty floor in a broken trailer. And you did that to him.”

  She blinked, but there was no anger in her eyes as she looked back at me. Only love. And that broke me more than any curse ever could.

  “You’re more than I could have hoped for, Ash. So much more than I ever dreamed.”

  “No fucking thanks to you,” I said and stormed out.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Kai didn’t try to speak to me as I left the cabin. In fact, everyone scrambled away, more than willing to give me space. I made it as far as the car before I figured out why.

  In the reflection of the passenger window, I caught sight of my image and halted. I glanced down at my skin, sure I was seeing things. The reflection of the sun’s light or some weird trick of the glass. But no. My skin. It was glowing. The healing energy I’d tried using on my mother hadn’t done anything for her, but that hadn’t stopped it from lighting me up like a Christmas tree topper.

  This was what my mom had seen when she’d looked so damn happy about how I’d turned out.

  Magic.

  Power.

  Her baby girl all charged up on an entire coven’s worth of alchemy.

  Swearing on her life didn’t seem like enough.

  “Ash.”

  I turned, surprised to find Silas striding toward me. He had a backpack slung over one shoulder like he was headed out for longer this time.

  “Going somewhere?” I asked.

  He flinched.

  Busted.

  “Just camping.”

  “Si, I recognize the signs of running away when I see it.”

  He scowled. “Don’t judge me. I’m not in the mood.”

  “No judgment,” I said. “Just … you have friends here. If you want them.”

  He glanced past me to where we could hear Kai and Idrissa discussing Byrn’s condition—stable, now, apparently.

  “You seem better,” Silas said, changing the subject.

  I let it go and nodded. “I feel more like myself than I have in ages. How long will it last?”

  He hesitated then said, “My capabilities are amateur at best. I’d say you’ve got the day. That’s about it.”

  “Hey,” I called when he turned to go. “You okay?”

  He grunted. Obviously super in touch with his emotions, this one.

  I tried again. “You don’t mind that we’re using your cabin for … the prisoner, right?”

  He shoved his hands into his pockets, gaze flicking over my shoulder a second time. He frowned.

  “I’m going camping,” he said simply and then disappeared around the corner of the house.

  “Ash, wait.”

  I whirled again to see Kai rounding the car toward me.

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” I said. Mostly because if anyone could get through the cracks in my armor my mom had left, it was him. And falling apart over the woman who’d abandoned me felt like letting Cohen win.

  “Me neither,” he said and then pulled me into his arms. “I do want to hold you, though,” he said against my ear.

  I sighed, my body stiff against his. He pulled away, unruffled and more like himself than I’d seen in days. Whatever Silas had done for me—it had helped Kai too.

  “Get in,” he said, opening my door.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “Nothing. You’re taking the day off,” he said, jingling his keys.

  I stopped short of climbing into the open passenger seat. “What?”

  “C’mon. I cleared it with Idrissa.”

  I snorted. “So, the boss gave her permission.”

  He grinned. “Exactly. Isaac, Presley, Adan—everyone knows we’re not to be bothered unless the sky is actually falling. Barring the apocalypse, I get you all to myself. Now, get in.”

  I hesitated. A day off sounded irresponsible, considering everything, but then Silas’ words came back to me. You’ve got the day. That’s about it.

  I got into the car.

  “Where are we going?” I asked as Kai drove.

  He grinned. “I have a surprise.”

  No matter how much I coaxed or threatened, Kai wouldn’t tell me anything. Finally, I gave up and just enjoyed the comfortable silence between us. When that led to mental replays of the visit with my mother, I turned on some music.

  Valley of Wolves poured from the speakers.

  I scooted closer to Kai and threaded my fingers through his as we drove. He cast me a look with a dangerously handsome smile that sent butterflies dancing in my stomach. Whatever version of “us” we were doing now, we’d never done it before.

  Miles later, we parked at a roadside pull-off on a state route I didn’t recognize.

  “Are we still in Ridley Falls?” I asked as we climbed out and Kai led the way up a footpath that wound straight up the embankment.

  “Right in the center of it, actually,” he said, reaching back for my hand when the path turned steep. “Come on. You need to see this.”

  At the top, I bent over, struggling to catch my breath. Kai inhaled deeply, tipping his face up toward a view I’d yet to take in.

  “Smells different up here,” I said between breaths.

  “It’s the water.” He nudged me. “Look.”

  I looked out over the bluff where we stood. The view hit me, and it was truly love at first sight. We had the high ground here, which offered a perfect view of canopied treetops that rolled gently with the hills unfolding below us. On my right, the mountain where we stood continued to climb upward, and another peak higher than this one offered what was probably an even more breathtaking view than this.

  Between us and that peak, a river ran downhill through it all until it dropped off into a waterfall that, even from here, I could smell and even taste. The gentle roar of the spray offered a soundtrack better than any I’d heard.

  “A waterfall,” I whispered, completely taken with this spot.

  “Ridley Falls. The town was named for it.”

  I’d wondered but never seen it for myself. There hadn’t been time. Not with the craziness that had become my life.

  “It’s beautiful,” I said.

  “Wait ’til you see it up close.”

  I gave him a questioning look, but he’d already started for the trail again.

  “Whoa, I’ve been here,” I said when we reached the next peak.

  “We’ve been here,” he corrected, taking my hand as I came to an abrupt stop. Up ahead, at the top of the highest overlook, was a familiar spot.

  Roan Mountain Overlook. The place my wolf and Kai’s had slept together after I’d shifted for the first time.

  I’d woken human. And naked.

  He’d carried me home, and we’d mated—in every way.

  “I remember,” I said, smiling.

  “Are you hungry?” he asked suddenly.

  “What?”

  “Come on.” He tugged my hand, and we climbed slowly to the top of the overlook. Kai let go of my hand and hurried over to a large oak that rose up alongside the trail.

  He ducked behind it and reappeared carrying a picnic basket.

  “What’s this?” I asked.

  He opened it and pulled out a checkered blanket. I watched as he spread it over the leaves and motioned for me to sit.

  “A picnic,” he said.

  I watched as he began unpacking food from the basket.

  “Are those brownies?” I asked as my stomach growled hungrily.

  “Double chocolate,” he said, glancing up. He grinned when he saw my expression. “Isaac might have mentioned you have an obsession.”

  “You asked Isaac about this?”

  “I wanted a special date with you, so I went to the expert.”

  “Makes sense.”

  “Besides, Idrissa just said I should have risqué sex with you.”

  “Risqué?”

  “Outdoors. Sort of public.” His grin turned mischievous. “But we’ve already done that. More than once.”

  I lifted a brow. “Isaac didn’t give that same idea?”

  “Oh, he did, but he suggested a picnic first. Something about the blanket being useful later too.”

  I laughed and finally sat, eyeing all of the food laid out. All of my favorites, in fact.

  “You’re kind of a stalker to find out all this out about me,” I said.

  “Princess, I plan to stalk you for the rest of your life, so you might as well get used to it now.”

  I laughed as I grabbed a chocolate-covered almond and popped it into my mouth. “Fair point. When did you have time to plan this?”

  He shrugged. “After the pack run, I just felt … better. More like myself. And I knew I wanted to use today to show you who that person is. Instead of the person I’ve been lately.”