He shrugged. “It’s what I could offer while you…” He looked over at me then away again. I squeezed his hand, and he went on. “Someone had to do it, and my head was elsewhere. Not to mention, if I saw a single hexerei, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from putting them down.”

  “It’s not their fault, Kai. What happened to me with the magic and my necklace—it’s no one’s fault.”

  Except maybe my own mother’s.

  I wondered if Kai had the same thought because he fell silent. When he spoke again, his mood had shifted. Not worse, exactly, but more melancholy.

  “My dad was beta to your father, you know.”

  “You mentioned it.”

  I pressed in closer, sensing a sadness in him that hadn’t been there before. He’d been all over the place today, I noted. Maybe that was normal, considering how worried he’d been about me, but it still felt off. “Did he talk about it much?”

  “To me?” He snorted, but there was more pain than humor in his eyes. “He didn’t tell me shit. But I could see what it cost him when everything fell apart. He started drinking. Got angry. Hell, stayed angry until the day he died.”

  “Took it out on you,” I added softly.

  “I don’t think he meant to. I think I was just the closest thing to him at the time.”

  His frown deepened.

  “Kai, you’re not your father,” I said.

  “No, but I’ve been a fucking shitshow since that moment in the field.” He blew out a breath. “You forced me to see who I was without you. It wasn’t pretty.”

  I squeezed his hand again. “I’m still here.”

  But the words were too soft to be taken seriously. We both knew what sort of uncertainty lay ahead. Cohen. The magic. The curse.

  We’d come so far, but we hadn’t really won.

  Not yet.

  And it felt like every time we got close, something else bigger and deadlier knocked us on our asses.

  Something in me told me this was it, though.

  We had one more shot to get this right.

  It was do-or-die for us now.

  Hearing Kai talk about the kind of person he’d been without me made my choice easy. We’d do or we’d die—together.

  And now it was time to do.

  “About tonight’s meeting,” I said, making sure my voice was clear and sure. “Here’s what I think we should say.”

  Chapter Five

  As we neared the Throttle, I spotted a familiar figure striding toward us. Idrissa’s fire-engine red hair was unmistakable, wound together in a braid that hung over her shoulder. When she saw me, her eyes lit up, and she ran the rest of the way.

  I braced myself for the same bone-crushing hug Isaac had given me, but that wasn’t Idrissa’s style. Instead, she abruptly halted and punched me in the shoulder just hard enough to drive me back a step.

  “Ow,” I muttered. “What was that for?”

  She grinned, managing to look both relieved and pissed in the same flash of teeth. “You’re awake.”

  “And recovering,” Kai growled. “That means no hitting.”

  His tone was harsher than I’d ever heard him use with her before. But if Idrissa was bothered or even surprised by it, she didn’t show it.

  “A good punch might have been the exact thing she needed all along,” Idrissa said. “Maybe it’ll knock some sense into her.” She eyed me appraisingly. “You’re an idiot.”

  “I missed you too,” I said.

  “You tried to earthquake all the hexes and almost took us out in the process.”

  “You say that like I did any of it on purpose.”

  “You didn’t?”

  “No.”

  “Huh. Woulda been a lot cooler if you did.”

  “When did you die your hair?” I asked, admiring the single white streak that framed her face.

  She gave me an incredulous look. “Uh, I didn’t. You did.”

  “What?”

  “Don’t tell me you don’t remember what happened.”

  “Uh, okay, I won’t tell you,” I said with a shrug.

  She sighed, clearly exasperated with me. “Your blast of magic lit the place up like the Disney castle on the Fourth of July, kid.”

  “Lit up?” I shook my head. “I thought there was an earthquake.”

  “It was the witchy Apocalypse, girl. We got the trifecta.”

  I looked at Kai, who explained, “Earthquake, thunder, lightning.”

  “Are you fucking serious?” My jaw dropped.

  “Okay, the ground split, and lightning flashed, and then it rained for two days,” Idrissa said. “But essentially, yes.”

  “What does that have to do with your hair dye?” I asked.

  “Just that before the lightning struck, my hair was all one color, and afterward, it was this.” She shook her braid at me, and I stared at the white streak in it.

  “You didn’t dye it this way?”

  Idrissa looked at Kai. “I think the magic ate her brain.”

  “I hear you,” I grumbled, “I just… It doesn’t make sense.”

  “Or maybe it does and we just don’t understand magic.”

  Something about the way she said it made me wonder whether it would be worth asking someone who did.

  “Speaking of which, Oscar said you went on an errand,” I said. “Any luck?”

  She shared a very unhappy look with Kai before saying simply, “No.”

  Neither one offered an explanation of exactly what kind of errand it might have been, so I asked the only obvious question.

  “Have you tried talking to Kel?” I asked.

  “The second in command to Lucifer himself?” Idrissa asked hotly. “No, I can’t say we’ve had any girls’ nights since they fled for their lives.”

  “She might know why this happened to you,” I said.

  And me.

  “She also might say something stupid that gets her killed.” Idrissa looked like she might actually want that. And Kai didn’t look any calmer about it than she did.

  I sighed.

  Idrissa had tolerated Kel before, but now that my cousin had stood by while Cohen attacked us and tried having Kai killed? I had a feeling neither of them was going to let that go anytime soon.

  Just like earlier, I had the pressing realization that even as things had gotten better, they’d also gotten a hell of a lot worse.

  “Kel is an ally,” I said firmly. “We need to try and reach out. See if she can meet with us and find out what we can about Cohen’s plans.”

  “Fine.” Idrissa didn’t look happy but she agreed. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  “And we need to find someone who can tell me what’s happening to me. And how to control it,” I added, thinking of the garden I’d conjured earlier.

  They shared a look.

  “What?” I asked.

  “We’ve reached out to other hexerei,” Kai said. “Other states, even.”

  “And?” I prompted.

  Idrissa sighed. “No coven wants anything to do with us while we’re at war with Cohen.”

  I shook my head. “We have to keep trying.”

  They both nodded. Neither one looked like they held out a lot of hope, but hope? That was all I had right now.

  “I didn’t know,” I told Idrissa, circling back to the questions about her hair. “I can’t remember anything after Cohen ordered Kai to be shot. Whatever happened after that, it wasn’t me. I’m sorry about your hair, Dris.”

  Her expression lightened. “I forgive you. But you need to get that shit under control.”

  “Gee, why didn’t I think of that before?”

  She gave me a bitchy smile that was an Idrissa Close trademark. I’d seen it enough—and gotten to know the person behind it well enough—that I wasn’t offended in the slightest. It did make me wonder though…

  “What are you doing all the way out here, throwing your RBF around, anyway?” I asked. “Did something happen?”

  “Yeah, Mr. Alpha here didn’t show up for our daily check-in, so I had to hoof it all over town, looking for your ass, only to hear from Oscar that this one,”—she pointed to me—“is awake and prancing around like a live-action Snow White epilogue.”

  Kai started to respond, but I was pretty sure, based on his angry expression, his next words wouldn’t improve upon the current direction of conversation, so I shushed him.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t call you immediately,” I said. “There was a lot going on, and Kai’s been helping me work through whatever my body is doing with all this magic inside it.”

  “What is there to work through?” Idrissa asked suspiciously.

  I filled her in on the whole fairy garden situation. I didn’t bother mentioning the vomit.

  “So, the magic is still screwing with you?” Idrissa asked, finally beginning to look worried. “Are you okay? Are we okay?”

  Beside me, Kai was tense.

  “I’m still not feeling completely like myself, but we’re hoping I’m well enough to attend the meeting tonight.”

  She nodded, still uncertain. “Tell me what I can do.”

  “Just be there,” I told her. “We want to make some leadership announcements for the pack.”

  Idrissa straightened. “Leadership announcements.”

  Her eyes slid to Kai.

  Bingo.

  At least I’d effectively distracted her from worrying.

  “We’d like to ask you to continue as head of security,” he said.

  “Oh, well, shit. Okay.”

  Her shoulders sagged in obvious relief, and I realized she’d actually been worried about the role being taken from her. Huh. Idrissa had never shared much of anything in the way of dreams or long-term, future plans. But watching her now, I found it easy to see Kai had been right. Idrissa wanted this pack to rebuild, and she wanted a front-row seat right in the action while it happened.

  “Does that mean you want the job?” I asked, smirking.

  “Hell yeah, I want the job,” she said. “I guess I just thought you’d hand it off to someone with more experience once you made permanent decisions.”

  “Out of everyone in the pack, you’re the most experienced in saving my ass,” I told her.

  “True.” She snorted. “I’m practically an expert in that shit.”

  Kai ran a hand over his head. “Look, I know I was a bit of an ass before—”

  “Kai Stone, you were the whole ass. Let’s not get it twisted,” she told him.

  I bit back a laugh as Kai’s eyes narrowed, but he eventually just nodded. “Okay, fair enough. I was the whole ass while Ash was unconscious. But if you can handle that, I think it’s fair to say you can handle any pressures of the job. Although, we might need to work on your people skills.”

  “My people skills?” She looked personally offended. “If you’re talking about that shithead, Landry, I think I deserve a damned medal for not killing him outright. He’s—”

  “He’s Hawley,” Kai said. “They came here on their alpha’s orders and then ended up losing one alpha and gaining two more and being stuck on our pack lands until we could get our shit together long enough to decide their future. They deserve to be cut a little slack.”

  I blinked, once again taken aback at the harshness of his tone. But he wasn’t wrong.

  “They deserve their asses kicked,” Idrissa argued, unfazed.

  The tension had risen several notches already, so I stepped between them, heading off any real damage.

  “Hey,” I said sharply. “Has this guy Landry done anything that warrants disciplinary action?”

  Idrissa rolled her eyes. “I don’t know. Can we discipline asshole-itis?”

  “Unfortunately, no, or Silas and Presley would have been out ages ago,” I said.

  Kai snorted, but I gave him an appraising look.

  “You would have been too, especially the version I got when I first arrived.”

  Or the version he was showing me today.

  His smile fell. “Fair point.”

  Idrissa did a smart thing for once by keeping her comments to herself. The smile, though, wasn’t something either of us could miss.

  I looked at Kai. “Idrissa’s been given this role because we trust her judgment. She’ll build her teams as she sees fit.”

  Idrissa huffed in self-satisfaction. I rounded on her, and the smugness vanished from her eyes as I said, “And Kai’s right. The Hawley pack didn’t sign up for any of this, and until we can find a way to unite everyone, they’ll probably see us as the enemy. We need to be patient.”

  Idrissa muttered something under her breath about her patience being the level of a saint when it came to Landry.

  “Do you know of any reason you can’t complete the duties of security leader?” I pressed.

  She straightened. “Hell no. I was born for this shit.”

  “Good.”

  “For the record though, let every breath Adan Landry takes from here until forever be a testament of my virtuous patience.”

  I watched as Idrissa stalked off. When she was gone, I turned to Kai. “I think I really need to meet this Adan Landry.”

  Kai grinned. “He definitely struck a nerve I didn’t know she had.”

  “Hopefully, for his sake, he learns to un-strike it and fast.”

  “Come on.” Kai tugged me toward town. “We still have to find Isaac and the others before the meeting starts.”

  “Only one problem about finding Isaac,” I said. “I still haven’t changed my shirt.”

  Chapter Six

  Later that evening, in a building I’d only ever visited under negative circumstances, the Lone Wolf council room filled to capacity—and then kept filling. According to Idrissa, more people were waiting outside, and I already felt like a bomb in a crowd. Too many people. Too many walls. My nerves were already frayed after that strange episode in the woods, and being back in this room brought up tense memories of Kai being arrested or me being nearly voted out of town by a council of men who thought doing nothing would just make all their problems go away.

  “We need to relocate,” I said over the hum of voices. “This isn’t going to work.”

  Kai nodded but hesitated.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “The closest spot that would hold this many is…” He didn’t finish, and I realized exactly where he meant. The field where we’d held the alpha challenges. Behind Bo’s bar. It was the largest open space our pack could gather without risking being spotted by outsiders. And now it was gone. Or that’s what they’d told me anyway. I didn’t have it in me to face that scene just yet.

  My eyes burned, and I bit my lip.

  “I know a place,” Oscar said, suddenly at my elbow.

  “Where?” I asked.

  He guided me toward the left of the stage where he handed me a bottle of water. I took it, mostly to have something to do with my hands. And to calm the buzzing that had already begun underneath my skin.

  The magic, quiet since the woods, was waking again, and that couldn’t mean anything good.

  “The field behind the Throttle. It has an open space large enough to hold everyone, and it’s within walking distance from here,” Oscar explained.

  I shot him a look of gratitude for the suggestion. Using that space also meant I could make a quick escape if, you know, I felt another earthquake coming on.

  “That sounds great,” I said.

  “I’ll make the announcement.” Kai stepped up to the stage and gave everyone the new meeting location, asking them to spread the word to those outside as we made our way there.

  I hung back, waiting for the crowd to exit and disperse before following. Kai stayed close, waving off those who tried to talk to him. At first, I assumed it was for my benefit, but just like earlier, his shoulders had stiffened, and his expression looked angry. Like he felt caged.

  We were headed for the exit when I spotted two familiar faces coming in to meet us.

  Party crashers ‘til the end.

  Silas strode purposefully up the steps and through the main doors into the lobby. Beside him, Presley was telling Silas some story, mostly with his hands, from what I could tell. Silas gave no indication he was listening, but Presley didn’t seem to mind. When he spotted us, Presley’s animation abruptly stopped, and they both eyed me with a glint of interest. Almost like one would a science experiment.

  “You’re up,” Presley said as if I’d been simply napping rather than comatose these last two weeks.

  “Observant,” I said.

  He grinned. “You planning anything measurable on the Richter scale today?”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’ll let you know.”

  Presley snickered.

  “You two look like shit,” Idrissa said, coming up beside me and giving them both a once-over.

  “Speaking of shit, your nose is brown,” Silas shot back at her.

  She scowled but stepped away from me, arms crossed.

  What the hell was that about?

  “How’d it go?” Kai asked them.

  Silas shrugged. “It went.”

  I rolled my eyes, ready to ask for just a few more details of the trip Kai had asked them to make to Hawley and Asheville territory, but Presley jumped in, regaling us with a journey that included sobbing widows, two of which apparently hit on him, and half a dozen death threats against me or Kai or both. Kai’s eyes narrowed at that, but I waved it off. Anger and resentment were to be expected. We’d killed their alphas, for better or worse, and taken away their sense of hierarchy. Of home.

  “It’s fine,” I told Kai. “If anyone wants to challenge us, let them come.”

  If anything, that made Kai look more upset.

  “Fuck that,” he growled, and I flinched at the sharpness of his outburst. “We fought for our place here, broke that damned curse for these people, and fended off witches bent on killing us all—what more do we need to go through before we can live our lives in peace?”

  By the time he’d finished, he was breathing heavily, and his cheeks had flushed red. I glanced at the others. Presley and Idrissa looked unimpressed, which only made me wonder if this was just more of the version of him they’d gotten while I slept.