He was bigger now, so much bigger. And his tattoos … give her some sanity, but God, did he look good with the full sleeves of tattoos on his arms.

  She knew he worked out a lot given the fact he was in construction, but his biceps had images of him restraining her to his bed, forcing her to do what he said by sheer strength alone. And he could do what he wanted to her, any damn thing in fact.

  And as if she had shouted that across the room he lifted his head, and looked right at her. His blue eyes, even from this distance, were clear and bright.

  She got scared for some reason, nervous over the fact he was looking right at her. Surely he hated her after she’d all but snubbed him, ignored him when he’d tried to talk to her at school after the party had gone down, and she’d run away.

  Her heart started pounding fast and hard, and sweat covered the valley between her breasts. It was an instant reaction, one she had always gotten when he glanced her way, or she thought he might be staring at her.

  Glancing away quickly, she stared at Tabitha, who watched her curiously.

  “What?” Shoshanna asked, and started picking at her napkin.

  “You were totally checking out Toby Mason.”

  Shoshanna felt her face heat with embarrassment, and she shrugged. “Every female checks out Toby Mason.”

  Tabitha smirked and glanced at the man in question. “Yeah, true.”

  Shoshanna stared at the woman she worked with, one that was more of a work acquaintance than a friend. But as it was Shoshanna didn’t have very many friends, and she sure as hell wasn’t about to go to the bar alone to drink. But the thing with Tabitha was that she made these catty little comments that she covered up with a smile.

  She was a huge bitch, but played it off as though she were just doing her friendly duty and calling it like it was.

  “But I don’t think you or me will be getting with that anytime soon.” Tabitha glanced at Shoshanna again. “I mean I’d never stoop to the level of those blondes that are hanging around him, just throwing themselves all over him because he probably has this huge dick and can fuck like a machine.”

  Shoshanna wasn’t about to point out that Tabitha had said she was going home with the bartender anyway, one she had just met.

  “And you’re way too good for him. He’d eat you alive you’re so sweet,” Tabitha said with this false saccharine tone in her voice. Shoshanna knew what the other woman was saying without really speaking the words. She was overweight by most people’s standards, and a guy like Toby would never go for her.

  Yeah, she had been living that life, had heard her parents tell her all the time she was sweet and kind, and needed a nice guy that would see the beauty on the inside.

  “I need another drink,” Tabitha said, and this time Shoshanna was the one that stood and went to the bar to get it.

  Once she had a mixed drink in her hand, a rather strong one, too, she turned and was about to head back to the table when a massive body stopped her from advancing. Her vision was right in the center of a hard chest.

  The dark t-shirt was stretched over the firm muscles. And as she slowly trailed her gaze up his body, already knowing who stood in front of her, everything inside of Shoshanna froze. The scent of Toby’s cologne was powerful, arousing. But it wasn’t just that masculine aroma that pulled at the erogenous zones in her body, but the faint smell of motor oil and freshly cut wood, too.

  She would have never thought the scent of grease and pine would be attractive, but the more she inhaled the combination coming from Toby the more she wanted him. She was getting good and drunk, already a few drinks away from probably being passed out for the rest of the night.

  “Hey,” he said and smiled. The corner of his mouth cocked up, and the sight was such a damn turn-on she couldn’t even think straight. The condensation from the glass she held slid down her inner arm, and instead of it feeling chilled it felt like liquid fire.

  “Hi,” Shoshanna said and licked her lips once the word was out of her mouth. Could he hear the sound of her heart beating like it was in a race? He knitted his brows and glanced down at her body.

  This flush stole over her, and she shifted on her feet, feeling extra warm all of a sudden.

  “It’s been a long time, Shoshanna,” he said in a sexy, low, and deep drawl.

  Yeah, it had been a very long time since they’d actually spoken to each other, but that was her doing, and she’d regretted it. “It has been, but you look like you’re doing well.” The words just tumbled out of her mouth, and she felt even more stupid for saying them.

  He grinned wider, brought his beer bottle to his mouth, and took a long drink while he continued to watch her. There were some grease stains on his fingers, and she let her gaze travel down the thick expanse of his forearms.

  The tattoos stopped at his wrists and traveled all the way up his arm to disappear under the sleeve of his shirt.

  “You look well, too.” He lowered his gaze down her body, and she felt a chill move through her.

  “Thank you,” she said softly, knowing he was checking her out, and feeling the heat from his gaze penetrate her. It took him a moment to speak again, but maybe it was because he had been waiting for her to say something else and she hadn’t.

  “It’s been what, five years?” The way he said it wasn’t so much of a question, but a statement.

  She nodded. “Something like that.” She swallowed, feeling like she was living in some kind of alternate universe. Exhaling, she knew she just wanted to say what she’d been thinking since she’d run off that night. “Listen, it’s a little late for this, I know that, but I want to apologize for the way I acted after I left that party. I was just in a weird place, and didn’t know how to handle…” She moved her hand between the two of them.

  “You were right to run. I was no good to you. Hell, I wasn’t good to anyone back then.”

  “That’s not true,” she said right away.

  He nodded slowly, lifted his arm to the bartender, and called out for two beers. When he looked at her again there was this strange expression on his face. “It is really true, Shoshanna, and deep down you knew that. That’s why you left.” His eyes were slightly glossy and bloodshot, and she knew that he was drunk just as much as she was. Maybe that was why they were talking to each other?

  He leaned forward and braced a hand on the counter. “But I remember you, Shoshanna.” The way he said it made her feel like it held this deep meaning. He smiled, just a small one, another lift of the corner of his mouth, but one nonetheless. “I was an asshole back in high school, pretty cocky, too, and to think a good girl like you wanted anything to do with me, even just to talk, was stupid on my part.”

  Were they really doing this right here, hashing out the past? It had been years, but this was the first time they’d been this close to each other. “I’m sorry, but I didn’t push you away because I didn’t think you were good enough for me.”

  He scrubbed a hand over his jaw, and the sound of his skin coming in contact with his stubble filled her ears. “In five years I did a lot of growing up, and am not the cocky little asshole I was back in high school.” He lifted one shoulder in a shrug.

  The way he said that felt a little funny. He wasn’t cocky, or an asshole, or at least he hadn’t been to her.

  “You look the same, but different, too.” He stared at her, looked her up and down. “You look all grown up.” It was spoken low, kind of husky and heated, and she felt this tingle move through her.

  He lowered his gaze down her body once again, and she felt herself start to sweat even further.

  Damn, am I the only one that is hot in here?

  “What does that mean?” she asked in a low voice, just as soft as he had spoken moments before.

  She was slightly afraid of what he might say, but she held her breath, waiting for his response.

  7

  Toby smirked, and the sight of him smiling set her blood on fire. “You’re more sure of yourself, more grown up even,” he said and moved a step closer to her.

  When he reached forward Shoshanna held her breath. His arm brushed along hers, and his scent invaded her head. She was seconds away from moaning, so unlike herself right now because she was intoxicated and her inhibitions were down given the fact she still wanted Toby. Shoshanna could imagine herself reaching out and wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in close.

  Yeah, she could totally do that right now because she just didn’t care. He pulled back before she could make an idiot out of herself. He held out one of the two beers he held.

  “You thirsty?”

  She’d been drinking shots all night, and although she wasn’t much of a drinker, beer was not her favorite thing to consume. But she was not about to turn down a drink from the object of her lust-filled, arousal-consumed thoughts since she knew what desire was.

  Besides, she was already in the drunken stage of the night where anything and everything tasted the same.

  “Thank you.” She took the bottle and brought it to her mouth.

  For the next couple of seconds as they both drank their beers, all they did was stare at each other. It shouldn’t have been awkward, in fact she felt like there was this strange connection between them, the same connection she’d felt years ago.

  Setting the beer on the counter behind her she wiped away a droplet of alcohol that was on her bottom lip.

  “You definitely look all grown up now, Shoshanna, not like the young girl that walked around the halls of Silver Spring High five years ago.”

  She wanted to be annoyed, or maybe even offended, but honestly the way he said it, and the presence he gave off, was not like a man who was being condescending. He sounded like a man that was impressed with the woman she’d become, even if she didn’t think she’d changed much since high school. “And you don’t seem like the same guy that had Marilyn Stafford hanging all over your arm.”

  He smirked. “Yeah, Marilyn was a trip. But I can say with some pride that I have changed a lot in the last five years. In fact, it was you that made me realize I was in a fucked up place with how I acted and who I hung out with.”

  She was stunned by his honest admission. Clearing her throat and not wanting to delve deeper down that road, she thought of other things, safer things to bring up. “From what I’ve heard over the years Marilyn is no longer joined at your hip,” she said, feeling slightly uncomfortable talking about the girl that had been the biggest bitch to her during school.

  Just thinking about that last year of high school she remembered how Marilyn had backed off tormenting her. It was after the party that she’d still give her dirty looks but didn’t harass her anymore.

  Had Toby said something to her to make her back off?

  “We broke up after the party, but it wasn’t advertised because she was worried about her status. We just stayed quiet about it all, and I agreed because I didn’t want her starting shit.”

  “You told her to leave me alone, didn’t you?” Shoshanna knew he had, felt that it was the truth.

  He was silent for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah.”

  Shoshanna didn’t ask how he’d managed to make her back off.

  “But I’m glad things worked out the way they did, well, not concerning you that is.”

  She glanced down at her shoes, feeling embarrassed. Her face felt hot, and she knew it was because she was on the spot here with Toby. “You two were a thing for a long time.”

  “I knew Marilyn and I would never last past high school. We didn’t connect all that well, if you can believe that. I think I was with her at first because of the sexual aspect, and not sure why I stayed after the fact.”

  She didn’t know exactly what to say to that. The truth was it was strange to have this conversation with Toby, one that was so … normal, like they were just old friends catching up.

  Shoshanna looked over his shoulder and saw the blondes that had been all over him earlier staring daggers at her.

  “Seems like your entourage is a little pissed your attention is elsewhere at the moment.” She didn’t want to think that he was actually interested in what she had to say, because that would feel like she had been dropped in some kind of alternate universe.

  She had all but insulted him, run from a meaningful friendship they could have had. But the truth was she’d been protecting herself. If she’d gotten too deep with Toby and things didn’t work out, either friendship or romantic, she knew she wouldn’t have been able to handle it.

  But he didn’t even turn around to stare at the blondes, and instead moved a step closer to her. He inhaled deeply, and there was this part of her that saw this wild animal in him, one that was pacing inside, wanting out.

  It was a weird sensation, but she didn’t want it to end. She felt high on Toby, and it was like no amount of alcohol could match the intoxicating feeling moving through her. She wanted him, wanted to have every part of him covering her, and she didn’t care that he had this sordid past, or that he was this bad boy that did whatever the hell he wanted when he wanted.

  Could he see how much she wanted him? Because she swore she could see how much he wanted her.

  “Can we start over?” he asked, his voice slightly slurred from his drinking.

  Shoshanna felt this haze wash over her, felt the alcohol pump through her veins as she stared into his blue eyes. “Yes,” she found herself answering. Was she accepting this all because she was drunk?

  Yes and no. The honest to God truth was she had never forgotten about Toby. She’d wanted him all those years ago, and those feelings had never faded.

  A moment of silence passed between them, Toby’s warm breath moving along her face, his heat seeping into her body. Did he feel the electricity moving between them, consuming them, making everything else fade away?

  “Come home with me, Shoshanna,” he said and moved a step closer to her.

  God, he was even bolder than he had been in high school. Did he really think she’d just submit after all these years? She held her breath, not knowing what in the hell was going on, but definitely liking the feel of the air around them.

  Okay, she was far too gone in what was happening between them right now to think too far ahead.

  “You’re bold saying that to me, Toby Mason.” It was hot in here, electrically charged, and she wanted it to go as far as it could.

  “I wanted to be this bold with you back in the day, Shoshanna.” He lifted his hand and ran a finger along her collarbone.

  What in the hell is happening?

  No, she knew what was going on, and that was Toby wanting her to go home with him for some hot sex. Had he seriously just asked her to go home with him?

  She felt her pulse race, her blood move faster and harder through her body, and nodded. “Okay.” She’d said the word, and there was no taking it back. Her lips were parted as she tried to get more air into her lungs.

  And then before she could speak he grabbed the back of her head, tangled his hands in her hair, and walked them backward until the bar stopped her from retreating.

  He slanted his mouth on her lips, kissed her until she felt like she was melting right into his body, and groaned deeply.

  “I want you to come home with me, Shoshanna.” He moved his mouth by her ear. “I want to fuck you until you come for me.” He pulled back enough that she could see his face. “I’ve wanted that since we sat in my bedroom years ago.”

  She was in shock over his caresses and blatantly sexual words, but she wasn’t disgusted. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe she was just so far gone for this man that she didn’t care what he said.

  Either way she wanted to be his for the night, because surely he wouldn’t want her for more than that. That wasn’t a jab at her specifically, but Toby’s reputation over the last few years didn’t really call for many long-term relationships.

  He was known for wooing women, sleeping with them, and sending them on their way with a goofy, pleasured grin on their faces. She looked over his shoulder at Tabitha. The other woman was staring at her with wide eyes, her mouth opened, and clear jealousy on her face.

  Looks like Shoshanna would be the next in line to have a one-night moment with Toby, and she was anticipating the experience.

  At least right now she was, tomorrow morning might bring a whole new level of emotions as she did the Toby Mason Walk of Shame.

  8

  They crashed through his apartment door, their mouths pressed together, and their breathing harsh. The sound of the cab they had taken driving off filled her ears, but she didn’t pay any more attention to it, especially when he slammed the front door closed with his foot and pressed her back to the wall.

  He kissed her hard, feverishly, and it was like an animal had been unleashed inside of him. He had his dick pressed against her belly, and ground himself on her over and over again until she moaned in his mouth.

  “I am so fucking hard for you, baby.”

  Guess there was no whiskey dick for Toby Mason. He placed his hand between their bodies and started undoing his pants. Before she knew what was happening they were both naked, their clothes being torn off by Toby as if they were nothing but tissue paper.

  Her mind spun, her breathing was erratic, and she didn’t even want to think too hard on the fact she was at Toby Mason’s house and about to fuck him. Maybe this was a bad idea, but it didn’t feel wrong, not right now at least. After the fact she’d probably regret it, because all she’d be was another notch in his bedpost.

  But do you want more than that?

  She groaned when he sucked her tongue inside of his mouth. His cock was so hard, so hot and big against her belly, and every time he thrust against her, dry humping right on her abdomen, she grew wetter.

  God, she’d never been this wet. Shoshanna knew that there was no stopping this, and she didn’t want it to end. In fact she wanted to go even further. She’d lusted after him all through middle and high school, touched herself when she thought about him, but knew that he would have never given her the time of day back then.