His mam brightened at his change in attitude, and a part of me wondered if he were doing it because he now knew I was watching.

  “I’m a medieval history expert. I’m going to be working at various historical sites providing tours.”

  “Really? That’s fascinating,” Derek replied, giving her his full attention. Why did my stomach suddenly bottom out?

  “Kayla mentioned she’s looking for an apartment in your neighbourhood,” his mam put in. “I thought maybe you could show her around while she searches for a place.”

  “Of course, I’d be happy to,” he said, once again much more cordial than he’d been earlier in the night.

  The twisting feeling in my stomach had me abandoning my cake. It was late, and I decided I should be getting back to Deirdre. She was fifteen, but I still didn’t like leaving her home alone for too long. Standing, I went in search of Nuala to let her know I was leaving. It took a few minutes to locate her, but when I did, we hugged and promised to meet up again soon for lunch.

  I made my way to the front of the house, tapping on my phone to order a taxi. It told me the car would arrive in five minutes, so I went outside to wait. Twenty minutes ended up passing, and still, there was no sign of my taxi. I cursed myself for not driving and considered simply walking back. My phone pinged to alert me that the driver had cancelled, and I blew out an exasperated sigh. I’d just ordered another when the front door opened, and someone stepped out. I ignored them until I heard a muttered swearword. I’d recognise that voice anywhere. Turning my head just a fraction, it was confirmed.

  Derek stood right by the front door, and the chilly night air had nothing on the frosty, irritated look he bestowed me.

  10.

  Milly

  I swiftly faced forward, unsure if I should greet him or simply ignore his presence. Trying to talk to Derek earlier hadn’t exactly gone well, and if the disgruntled looks he’d given me were anything to go by, he wasn’t interested in catching up. The idea smarted, but I could deal with it. I was a grown woman, and if people didn’t want to interact with me, that was their choice. I certainly wasn’t in the business of forcing my company on anyone.

  I stared down at my phone. Where the hell was this taxi? Just as I silently asked myself the question, a fat raindrop landed on the tip of my nose. Great, and now, it was raining. Just what I needed. The jangle of car keys caught my attention as Derek moved past me. I watched as the lights blinked on one of the SUVs parked on the drive before he climbed in and started the engine. The rain grew heavier, so I took a step back under the narrow lip that jutted out over the front door. It didn’t provide much shelter, but it was better than nothing.

  I expected Derek to reverse out, but he seemed to be muttering grumpily to himself as he swung the car around in an arc before stopping a few feet away from where I stood. Leaning over, he threw open the passenger side door and glared out at me. I stared back, heart hammering at the sheer intensity of his dark eyes narrowing in annoyance.

  “What are you waiting for?” he practically growled. “Get in.”

  I tightened my grip on my phone and lifted my chin. There was no way I was getting in that car. The brute thought he could rudely ignore me all night and then expect me to accept a lift home? Absolutely not. Memories surfaced of him offering me a ride in his car when we were teenagers, some sanctuary from the rain. I’d accepted the kindness back then because there’d been a softness in his eyes that had me instinctively trusting him. But that softness was no longer there. It’d vanished sometime in the years we’d been apart.

  “No, thank you,” I responded evenly, and his frown deepened before he gruffly yanked the door shut and sped off. I watched as his car pulled out onto the road, shaking my head the entire time. I was deeply irritated by his behaviour, but I tried to remind myself that Nuala said he was going through something. It was no excuse for how he was acting, but it did cause the tiniest pinch of empathy to squeeze at my heart. I’d loved him once upon a time and the feeling had never really left me. I’d thought of him often over the years and would always care about him because of the closeness we’d once shared.

  Not long after he drove away, my taxi finally arrived, and I climbed into the back.

  A couple of days later, I was up early to take Deirdre to her first day of school. It was a trip down memory lane because she was attending the same secondary school as I had, St. Colmcille’s. Even the uniform hadn’t changed, and seeing her come out of her bedroom wearing the same calf-length skirt, jumper and blouse I’d donned for the majority of my teenage years had emotion welling behind my eyes.

  “It’s just a uniform, Mum. Calm down,” she said with an exasperated smile.

  Having grown up in a posh part of London, my daughter’s accent would set her apart here. She was everything like me in certain ways and nothing like me in others. She’d inherited my studious nature and had always done very well at school. Unlike me, she had confidence in spades and managed to make friends wherever she went. It was kind of fascinating to watch her ingratiate herself with people in a way I’d never been able to. Like, how did this socially skilled person come from me? It was perplexing.

  She was also incredibly mature for her age. When I’d told her we were moving to Ireland, she hadn’t thrown a fit or acted out. Instead, she’d been excited for the change, a new adventure. Even though she would miss her father and friends, she adored her grandparents and was looking forward to living only a few minutes’ drive from their house.

  “Hey, I’m allowed to be a little emotional. You look great,” I replied, smoothing my hand down her long, golden-brown hair. Looks-wise, Deirdre was every inch of her dad, with his same hair colour and greenish-grey eyes. Like I’d told Nuala at the party, she’d also gotten his height, and at only fifteen, she already towered over me.

  “How are you feeling? Nervous?”

  “I’m fine, but we better get going. I don’t want to be late.”

  I glanced at the clock and saw we didn’t have much time. After snapping a quick picture of her on my phone—which she reluctantly agreed to—we headed out. By the time I dropped her off outside the school and watched her disappear inside the gates, I was in desperate need of caffeine. I swear I was more nervous about her first day than Deirdre was herself. I’d tossed and turned most of the night because I just really wanted her to fit in here. If it turned out she wanted to go back to London and live with her dad, I wasn’t sure I had it in me to deny her. Being a teenager was tough on its own, never mind when your mother moved you to a different country where you had to start all over again.

  Deciding I’d grab some coffees and morning pastries to bring over to my parents’ house, I parked in town and walked to Christine’s. My old friend from school, Tara, ran the place. It had originally been owned by her grandmother, but Christine had passed away about ten years ago and left the café to Tara. The business had been struggling at the time, but Tara completely turned it around. The building used to be a traditional Irish pub before it became a café when Christine purchased it, so it still had lots of old, interesting features, like brick walls, original woodwork and even a fireplace. Under Tara’s ownership, it had become one of the most popular spots in town for breakfast and lunch. I’d always gone out of my way to visit whenever I was home because the pastries were out of this world. It thrilled me that I could now visit whenever I wanted, plus I got to see my friend, which was an added bonus.

  I stepped inside the café and joined the queue for takeaway orders when something prickled at the back of my neck. It was a familiar sensation, one I felt only in the presence of a certain someone. I sensed his eyes on the back of my head and self-consciously ran my hand down my ponytail before pulling it over my shoulder and nervously fiddling with the ends.

  When I felt it was safe to look, I cast a quick glance behind me and saw Derek standing next to a woman as they waited farther back in the queue. It took me a moment to place her. She was from the party the other night, his cousin’s friend from Australia who his mother introduced him to while I’d eavesdropped on their conversation. Her name was Kayla, and she was moving to Ireland in a couple months and needed help finding a rental apartment. It was almost embarrassing how well I recollected the details.

  A twisty feeling took up residence in my stomach at the sight of them, but I quickly faced forward before Derek noticed me staring.

  When it was my turn to order, I asked for three lattes and three cinnamon swirls before moving to the end of the counter to wait. I couldn’t see Tara around, only her employees, so I presumed she was out back in the kitchen or in her office. I pulled my phone from my pocket and busied myself, pretending to check my messages, studiously avoiding glancing at Derek.

  “Milly?” the barista called out, and my eyes flicked up. I’d meant to only look in the direction of the barista, but somehow my eyes clashed with a pair of hard, brown ones.

  Kayla stood closer to Derek than might be considered normal for a friendly acquaintance. Something in my chest clanged painfully, but I forced myself to ignore it. I had no right to feel anything at all about who Derek spent his time with. It was just one of those things. He’d been an important part of my life for a time, and I would always feel a certain claim over him, even if I’d never outright express it. Or maybe my pride was merely wounded by how he’d ignored me at the party.

  “Milly?” the barista called again, and I finally dragged my gaze from Derek to step forward and collect my order. The woman handed me a paper bag containing my sweet treats and a cardboard holder to carry the lattes. I took them with thanks and turned to leave. The only problem was I had to walk by Derek and Kayla, who both still stood in the queue. I was suddenly self-conscious about my appearance. I’d thrown on a jumper and leggings before pulling my hair up into a hastily styled ponytail. I hadn’t even bothered to put on any makeup since I hadn’t been expecting to see anyone I knew.

  Keeping my head down, I made my way out, but my nerves got the better of me, and I tripped a little before righting myself. The wobble caused some of the foamy milk to pop out of the openings of the coffee lids and spray across the collar of my jumper. Great, just perfect. I tried to retrieve a napkin from the bag with the pastries, but it was impossible without placing the lattes down. My fluster was getting the better of me as I glanced around for an available surface when someone said, “Oh, hello, aren’t you one of Nuala’s friends?”

  I knew instantly who’d spoken from the Australian accent as I looked up and found Kayla smiling down at me. Derek, on the other hand, wore no wore expression at all. His gaze was cool and aloof.

  “Hi, yes,” I responded, feeling harassed. “Good morning.”

  “I’m Kayla. You were at the party the other night, right?” she went on casually, clearly not troubled at all that I was currently dealing with a spilled milk situation. “We never got a chance to be introduced.”

  “Yes, I was there. It’s nice to meet you.” I was still overly aware of the milk foam splattered across the collar of my top. “I’m Milly.” I spotted a napkin holder on the nearby counter, but there were too many other customers in the way.

  “Bloody hell,” Derek muttered under his breath before he gruffly asked the other customers to let him by and then snatched a wad of napkins from the holder. I wasn’t sure what was happening when, a second later, he was in front of me, carefully dabbing my top clean. I blinked up at him, my cheeks fiery hot as I tried to reconcile how gentle he was being despite the intense disgruntlement marking his features. I could feel his heat, his looming height making me suddenly feel very tiny as he glared at my stained top like it had personally affronted him. Perhaps sensing my attention, his gaze flicked up, and some kind of realisation passed over his features before he silently stepped back and dropped the napkins in a nearby bin.

  “Thanks,” I whispered oh so quietly. Kayla wore a vaguely curious expression, presumably wondering why Derek would go out of his way to clean me up instead of just handing me a napkin and letting me do it myself. I was wondering the same thing, but then again, old habits die hard, and it was exactly the sort of thing he’d do for me back in the day. Merely a reflex, I told myself.

  “How are you liking your stay so far?” I asked Kayla while ignoring the intensity of Derek’s stare.

  Her expression lifted. “Oh, I’ve been having a wonderful time. Derek has been kind enough to show me around the neighbourhood.” I’ll bet. “I’m guessing you two already know each other?” She glanced between us, and Derek made no reply, just stood there silently like someone who’d completely forgotten how to make small talk.

  “Um, yes, we do. Derek and I are old friends, but I’ve been living in London for the last eighteen years. I just moved back.”

  “Really? Wow, that’s a long time to be away. What made you move home?”

  “I wanted to be closer to my parents. They’re getting older now, plus I was offered a job at—”

  “Why don’t you order for us, and I’ll help Milly outside?” Derek cut in while deftly taking the latte tray from my hold. Kayla blinked at him then bobbed her head.

  “Oh, sure. What would you—”

  “Breakfast tea,” he answered before she could finish the question, and then he was ushering me out of the building. A second later, we were on the street.

  I reached for the coffees. “I can take those.”

  He stared over my head, refusing to relinquish them. “Did you walk or drive?”

  “I drove. I was dropping off my—”

  “Where are you parked?”

  “Just down this way,” I threw a thumb over my shoulder, and Derek began marching in that direction. Frustration wound its way around my insides. On the surface, he might’ve been trying to do me a favour by carrying the coffees, but his abrupt high-handedness was pissing me off. It took me a second to catch up with him.

  “You really don’t have to walk me all the way to my car. I can manage perfectly fine on my own,” I told him, my tone snappish. Derek’s gaze went to the wet stain on my top before rising to meet my eyes. God, he was still so handsome, even if he was in desperate need of a haircut and a shave. His expression seemed to say, Doubtful, before he continued walking.

  Fine, so maybe I did need help, but he could at least be a little less gruff about it. A moment of tense quiet passed, and my anxiety had me needing to fill it. “Kayla seems nice.”

  His only response was a low grunt.

  “She’s a friend of your cousins’ from Australia, right? Your mam seemed so delighted when her sister showed up to the party. It was a pleasant surprise for her, I’m sure.”

  Again, I didn’t receive a response. Up ahead, I spotted my car and felt a pinch of relief that this awkward interaction was almost over. I pulled out my keys and pressed the button to unlock the doors. Derek, seemingly having seen the lights flash, walked up to my red Suzuki then held the coffees in one hand before opening the door for me.

  I lowered into the driver’s seat, placing the cinnamon swirls on the passenger side before turning back to grab the coffees from him. I didn’t expect him to be quite so close, and a sharp breath escaped me. His proximity allowed me to admire the gold flecks in his eyes, the ones I’d found so swoon-worthy as a teenager. His scent hit my nose. He wore a different cologne now, something rich and spicy, but the underlying scent was still the same. It had my mind rolling back to the old days. The smell of him gave me the ability to time travel. Almost.

  I’d often wondered how differently my life would’ve turned out if I’d said yes that day on the beach. But I’d always stopped myself because if I had said yes, then I wouldn’t have had Deirdre, and that girl was my whole world. She was meant to be in my life. I wouldn’t give her up for anything, even it meant I never found a connection like the one I’d once shared with Derek. Being alone wasn’t so bad when you had an amazing daughter, friends and family to share your life with. Not everyone needed to be in love to find fulfilment.

  I was caught in the inescapable snare of his gaze for only a few seconds, but it felt like longer. At last, I took the cardboard tray from his hold. “Thank—” I began, but before I could finish, he rose to his full height and silently walked away. Well, okay then. Why couldn’t he just be a normal person and exchange pleasantries like every other pair of old friends who’d by chance bumped into one another after a long time? Why did he have to make me feel like I’d wronged him in such a way that I no longer deserved even that?

  Starting the short drive to my parents’ house, I tried to put Derek Balfe out of my mind. It was pure chance that we’d run into one another, but I doubted I’d see much of him going forward. It was a big enough town that you could avoid people if you just put in a little effort. Although, if he were a regular at Christine’s, then seeing him was unavoidable because I wasn’t prepared to give that place up. Derek would just have to deal with my presence even though it seemed to greatly displease him.

  Mam and Dad were delighted when I stopped by with the coffees and sweet treats. I sat with them and showed them the picture of Deirdre in her school uniform that I’d snapped earlier. Then we chatted about the house I’d bought, which was a two-bedroomed townhouse. It was small but sufficient for us. It was also going to take some renovations because the previous owners hadn’t done much with it over the years. At least I had these months before I started my new job to hire contractors and make a start on updating the place.

  Later that day when Deirdre got home from school, she didn’t seem as upbeat as she’d been that morning.

  “How did it go?” I asked as we sat down at the table to eat the fish tacos I’d made for dinner.

  “It was … not what I expected,” she answered carefully after taking a hungry bite.

  I frowned. “How so?”

  She blew out a breath and set her taco down. “Well, the girls in my classes just seem very clicky. I went out of my way to talk with some of them, but they were kind of reserved. It’s like they all have their friends already and aren’t interested in making any new ones,” she said glumly, and my heart pinched.