Derek reached out as though to pull me into his arms, but I shifted back. His face fell, and my chest constricted. It wasn’t that I didn’t want him to hold me, I was just feeling dizzy headed with the revelation and needed a moment to untangle my thoughts.

  Derek exhaled and ran a hand over his jaw. “My mam was the one to tell me everything in the end. It turned out Dad had told her all about his relationship with your aunt, how she got pregnant and wanted him to marry her, his refusal and promise to care for her and the baby regardless. I didn’t bring it up with Dad because he’s still unwell as he waits for his surgery, and I didn’t want to cause him stress. Mam said he still has a lot of guilt and regret over it all.”

  I barely moved as I listened to him speak. It almost felt surreal for Derek to know about the thing I’d always been too afraid to tell him, too worried it would tarnish the love and respect he had for his father.

  My throat was dry. “My aunt told me the story that day when she and my parents came home and found us in the kitchen together.”

  “I remember. It was obvious she didn’t like me much.”

  My heart clenched at the thought of him seeing how my aunt disliked him so immediately. What must he have thought? He’d been nothing but polite, and yet she’d acted like he was the most unsavoury individual she’d ever laid eyes on. It must’ve been really confusing to him at the time.

  I cleared my throat. “I never wanted to tell you because her version painted your father in such a poor light, and I didn’t want it to affect your relationship with him. Aunt Nell told me that your dad had been cruel, that he’d callously told her to get rid of the baby and that he wanted nothing to do with her anymore. But that wasn’t what happened at all. I know that now because I’ve heard your dad’s account of it. Aunt Nell omitted certain details on purpose because she saw how I looked at you. At the time, I’d thought it was because she feared you were just like your dad, and that you’d do the same thing to me as he’d done to her, but that wasn’t it at all.”

  Derek’s brows furrowed. “It wasn’t?”

  “She claims it was because she resented Padraig for refusing to marry her, and she couldn’t stand the thought of me being with you and becoming a part of the family he created after he left her. It beggars belief, but she still holds that grudge even to this day. It’s one of the reasons we fought when I confronted her about lying. When I was a teenager, she made me promise not to get involved with you, and at the time, I made that promise. I thought she’d insisted on it out of love for me, but I think ultimately it was all about control. She saw me as her little protégé, and she wanted to be the one making all the big decisions about my life. She felt an ownership over me as her niece and goddaughter, and she didn’t want me getting involved with anyone she didn’t approve of, in this case you and your family.”

  “Is that why you said no when I asked you to be my girlfriend?” A tender expression softened his face, and I recalled the night when he’d kissed me for the first and only time during our friendship.

  I nodded, emotion clutching me. “I thought I could be your friend and still remain loyal to the promise I made her, but I fell for you anyway. That day on the beach when you thought I rejected your proposal because I didn’t love you back or because I thought we were too young and it wasn’t a prudent choice? Derek, that was so far from the truth. You had my entire heart, but I didn’t feel like I could say yes because I feared hurting my aunt. She was doing so much for me at the time, offering to host me in London, pay for my college education. I felt I owed her a debt of gratitude, and I … I guess that was the entire point. She did all those things to keep me under her control.” My voice caught as my eyes flickered back and forth between his. “I broke your heart that day. I know I did. I’d never felt so shattered than when I watched you walk away from me, believing I didn’t love you back.”

  “You did break my heart,” Derek confessed, his jaw flickering as he swallowed. “But it wasn’t your fault. You thought you were doing the right thing.”

  The gentle forgiveness in his eyes almost ruined me. Wetness pooled beneath my cheeks. Propelled by a sudden need to be close to him, I crawled into his arms and settled between his thighs, wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him tightly while Derek sat with his back resting against the headboard.

  Gazing up at him, I lifted my hand to cup his jaw. His arms tightened around me, and my stomach flipped when he pressed a tender kiss to my temple. “I don’t think I ever fell out of love with you,” I confessed, and his eyes darkened as he listened to me. “No other man has ever made me feel like you do,” I whispered, and the next thing I knew, his lips were crashing down on mine. A soft sigh escaped me because I’d missed kissing him. Derek emitted a rough sound as he lifted me from between his thighs, never breaking the kiss as he climbed on top of me while sliding his tongue between my lips.

  “It was always you,” he murmured, breaking the kiss. “I never forgot you. You were always in here.” He took my hand and placed it over his heart. “I love you so much, Milly.”

  My head spun at his confession, butterflies invading every inch of my body, but then Derek was kissing me again, and I felt like I might burst from the heat of him, the desire he stirred in me. I wanted him, wanted to feel him inside me, and as he groaned while pressing his hard, thick length against my inner thigh, I suspected he wanted me just as badly.

  “Derek,” I begged breathily as he broke the kiss again to move down my body. My pulse thrummed as he shoved my dress up, his eyes darkening at the sight of my lacy underwear. A guttural noise escaped him, and before I knew it, his head was between my legs as he slid the lace to the side and dipped his tongue into me. A shudder went through me, and Derek made a satisfied groan like he’d never tasted anything sweeter. My head fell back against the pillows as he tongued my slit. Then my heart raced when his strong hands encouraged me to lift my hips so he could pull my underwear off. He spread me wide, and I was certain I looked a hot mess as he speared me with a molten stare then went back to work, this time adding his fingers as he slid them inside me while his tongue laved at my clit.

  “Oh!” I cried, my nipples tight, an orgasm building as I fisted the sheets.

  Derek reached up, pushing the strap of my dress over my shoulder and tugging it down to free my breast. He caressed me then flicked my nipple with his thumb, over and over, matching the flicks of his tongue on my clit. I was going to come so fast it wasn’t even funny, but then his tongue slowed down to a lazy tempo, his fingers slowing too, and I let out a cry of frustration. His deep chuckle almost ruined me. It vibrated through me and very nearly triggered an orgasm by itself.

  “Not yet, Camille,” Derek tutted, his eyes at half-mast as they slowly surveyed me. “I want you to come on my cock the first time.” Bloody hell, who was this man? I always imagined sex with Derek would be intense, but I never predicted how natural it would feel to let him take the lead, let him decide when and how I came.

  He rose up, standing from the bed and leaving me there in a state of messy arousal, half undressed. He undid his jeans, his gaze swallowing me whole as he shoved them down his legs and kicked them off before pulling his shirt over his head. I allowed myself to take him in, hyperventilating as my gaze travelled over his hard abs and the trail of dark hair that faded under his boxer briefs. My mouth watered. Derek picked his jeans back up, pulled out his wallet and removed a condom. He threw it down on the comforter and shot me a sinful smirk as he rejoined me on the bed.

  “You’re so …” I trailed off and he arched a curious eyebrow.

  “So …?” he encouraged, and I knew I was flushing because all the heat in my body seemed to have gathered in my face.

  “Sexy,” I finished bravely. “And handsome.”

  His smirk transformed into a radiant smile as his hand went to my neck, tilting my head so he could kiss me at the precise angle he wanted. “You’re sexy, too, but I think I may have told you that before.” With practiced hands, Derek made short work of relieving me of my dress and bra, talking all the while. “You’re also beautiful and clever and kind and very, very fucking seductive, but you barely even know it. I can hardly think straight when you’re in the room.”

  Reaching up, he unravelled the scrunchy that was holding back my hair, releasing the heavy tresses. Kneeling before me, his mouth fell open a little as he took me in. He ran his hand down his face, like he was so turned on it was stressing him out, and that made me smile.

  “What are you grinning about?” he asked, staring at my breasts as though committing them to memory.

  “You just look like you’ve wanted to see me naked for a really long time, and now you can’t believe it’s actually happening,” I said, my voice flirty. His deep, rumbling chuckle had me pressing my thighs together in want.

  “Do you know what? I can’t even argue with you because you’re exactly right,” he replied hotly. “It would’ve made you blush if you’d known how much I thought about you like this when we were younger.”

  My brain didn’t even have the chance to compute his confession because a second later he was on me, his mouth and hands seemingly everywhere as he dragged his tongue from one nipple to the other while his fingers found my clit, softly exploring. I reached for him, tugging down his boxer briefs so I could see all of him. I’d touched him in the darkness of his car, but I hadn’t gotten a chance to really see him. Derek’s body was exactly as I imagined it, sculpted from years of hard exercise but also broader in the arms and waist than he’d been before. I ran my hands over his muscled backside while he was distracted with my chest, moaning when his mouth closed over my nipple, his teeth grazing.

  “Derek,” I said, almost begging as I stared at his beautiful cock peeking out from the boxers I’d hastily shoved down. “I can’t wait any longer.”

  A haze of desire came over him. He had the condom out of the wrapper and covering his impressive length in a matter of seconds. Another second and the boxers were gone, discarded somewhere on the floor as he came back to me. Derek positioned himself between my spread legs, cupping my cheek with one hand while the other returned to my clit. I gasped as he circled it in earnest, his eyes latched onto mine as his cock slid home.

  “Oh!” I gasped. The feel of him touching me and filling me up at the same time was overwhelming. I moaned so loud we were lucky there was no one else in the house.

  With his eyes still on me, Derek began to move his hips, his fingers working their magic as he drove himself home with hard, measured thrusts. I felt myself dripping all over the bed as my orgasm built, my arousal even more head-spinning now that he was inside me, fucking me like I was his and his alone. In that moment, I knew I’d never be so possessed by another man. I belonged to him, and if the way he couldn’t take his eyes off me was any indication, he belonged to me just as much.

  I cried out when I came, soaking his hand, and Derek growled as his mouth found mine, kissing me possessively while still cupping my cheek. His movements sped up, his need more ferocious now that I’d come apart all over his cock.

  “You’re out of this fucking world,” he breathed between kisses, and then he gave another growl as he came. I held onto his shoulders, savouring his final thrusts before he fell on top of me, rolling us over and cradling me with his large, muscled body. I was happy, so content, and completely satiated as I rested in his arms, not a single worry on my mind.

  We laid there for a while, catching our breaths, but then Derek was kissing me again, and we found ourselves going in for round two. And after that came round three. I was so blissed out that I couldn’t tell how much time had passed. I also barely heard the front door opening, and my daughter calling, “Mum, are you home? We came back a little early.”

  Derek and I shared identical panicked expressions before we both practically leapt out of bed.

  24.

  Derek

  What was I thinking? Sure, I’d told the girls to wait for me to collect them at seven, but teenagers were never guaranteed to follow instruction. I wouldn’t have let myself get so lost in Milly if I’d thought there was a chance they’d be home early.

  Wordlessly, we hurried into our clothes, barely stopping to take a breath. Milly motioned for me to run across the hall to the guest room where I was staying. Just as I opened the door—my shirt bunched up at my waist in a highly suspect fashion—Deirdre reached the top of the stairs. Her eyes rounded when she saw me, then spotted Milly at my back. She froze for a second before she turned straight back around to call out, “Gigi, could you go grab those DVDs from the den? We’ll watch them in my room.”

  “Sure!” my daughter responded from somewhere on the ground floor, cheerful and oblivious.

  Deirdre turned back around, and suddenly, it felt like she was the adult, and Milly and I were two teenagers caught getting up to no good. “Look,” she began in a steady voice. “I have no problem with this”—she motioned between the two of us—“but you need to talk to Gigi. She’s … more sensitive. She can’t find out like I just did.”

  I glanced at Milly, at once impressed by her daughter’s maturity but also guilty that I’d given in to my selfish need to have her before I’d told Gigi about us.

  Self-recriminations ran through my head while Milly responded, “You’re right.” She placed her hand on my arm, staring up at me. “Do you want to go speak with her now or wait until you get home tomorrow?”

  I swallowed thickly, deciding in that moment that I wasn’t going to put off the difficult conversation any longer. “I’ll talk to her now.”

  Milly nodded, respect in her eyes as I took her hand in mine for a kiss before turning back to Deirdre. “Just so you know, I’m in love with your mother, and I intend to treat her like the queen she is.”

  A smile pulled at Deirdre’s lips before she forced it flat and rolled her eyes, folding her arms. “Good, because you’ll have me to deal with if you don’t.” She continued to her room, and Milly laughed quietly while I turned to cast her a fond a smile.

  “I’ll come find you when I’m finished speaking to Gigi.”

  She sent me a look of encouragement, and I left her to go face my daughter.

  Paying a quick visit to the bathroom, I cleaned myself. A few minutes later, I found Gigi in a small den just off the kitchen, browsing an extensive collection of DVDs that spanned several shelves. Deirdre’s father must’ve been a collector because I didn’t know anyone who still kept this many DVDs in their house anymore.

  “Hey, Dad. Sorry we came back early. I know you didn’t want us walking anywhere on our own in London, but we were only coming from the other end of the street. Shelly has an early dance session in the morning, so we cut things short.”

  “That’s fine,” I said, approaching her to run a hand over her hair. “Just call or text in future, yeah?”

  “I did text. Didn’t you get it?”

  I grimaced. I’d been so swept up in Milly that I hadn’t checked my phone in over two hours. Pulling it from my back pocket, I saw there was a text waiting. “I must’ve missed it. Can we sit for a minute?” I motioned to the small couch next to the shelves. “I have something I’d like to discuss with you.”

  She eyed me warily, noting my serious tone. She set down the DVDs she’d stacked in her arms, mostly stuff from the ’90s—she and Deirdre were watching all the old movies they’d missed out on. I lowered into the space next to her when she sat.

  “Is this about Granddad? I’ve been so worried about him lately.”

  “It’s not about your granddad,” I said, placing my hand gently atop hers. “He’s fine.”

  Her eyebrows lifted. “So, what, then?”

  There didn’t seem to be any gentle way to ease into the topic. I drew in a deep breath and told her simply, “I wanted you to know that I’ve started seeing someone.”

  Gigi stared at me for a long moment, her mouth opening and closing for a second, before a glossy sheen filled her eyes. “Oh.”

  She fell quiet, and I feared she was taking things even worse than expected.

  “Listen, I understand that you might’ve had some thoughts about me and your mother getting back together one day, but unfortunately, that won’t happen. We’re still friends, and we have a lot of respect for one another, and we love you and Pablo more than anything. You’re the most important thing to us, and we’ll always be there for both of you, just not as a couple.”

  “It’s okay. Aunt Nuala already told me,” Gigi said, her gaze downcast. There was a quiver in her voice as a tear dropped down her cheek. “I know that things didn’t work out with you and Mam, but a small part of me just hoped …” she trailed off, and I placed my hand between her shoulder blades, rubbing soothing circles.

  “It’s a perfectly natural thing to hope for,” I told her softly.

  “I just don’t want things to change. What if this woman takes you away from us? What if you have another baby and love it more than me and my brother?”

  “Not possible. My love for you will never change, Gigi, and no one will ever take me away from you, okay? I’ll always be here. No matter what age you are, you’ll have your dad to catch you when you fall.”

  “You say that now, but I haven’t even met this woman yet. She could hate me.” She sniffled. “She might convince you to send me away to boarding school, and I’ll never see Deirdre or any of my other friends again.”

  “No one will ever convince me to send you away, and besides, you have met her.”

  Gigi blinked. “I have?”

  “It’s Milly. Deirdre’s mother and I, we—”

  “Wait a second,” she held up a hand, the sadness in her eyes suddenly dissipating as she peered at me in surprise. “Milly is the woman you’re seeing?”

  I nodded slowly and could hardly believe it when a smile slowly crept over her face. “Oh, my goodness.” She placed both hands over her mouth before a giddy laugh escaped.