“Okay, well, I’m prepared to clean my room like you’ve been asking me to, and I’ll do the dishes twice a week.” Derek cast her a cynical glance. “All right, three times a week, plus I’ll vacuum the entire apartment on weekends.”

  “Enough,” Derek said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I told you we’d discuss it tomorrow.”

  Gigi blew out a heavy sigh, exchanging a woe begotten look with Deirdre before we all climbed into Derek’s car. The drive was tense and silent, and when he dropped us off at the hotel, we said goodnight to one another, but it felt hollow. I could tell he was fuming over me not seeing that note and thus creating a whole lot of unnecessary drama. I couldn’t understand how I’d missed it until we got back to the suite, and I saw I’d placed a room service tray directly on top of the hotel stationary pad. I’d been starving when I’d gotten back from the parent teacher evening and called down for a sandwich, not once glancing at the very clear message my daughter had left for me right there on the desk.

  Giving Deirdre a tight hug, we agreed she would always text or call me before going anywhere I might not be able to reach her in future, and then we turned in for the night.

  ***

  The next morning, I dropped Deirdre off at school then headed over to the house to see how the repair work was proceeding. With the fresh tension between Derek and me, I needed to check out of the hotel and get back under my own roof as soon as possible. I allowed myself to lean on him far too much, and it was a bad habit I needed to quit.

  I introduced myself to one of the workmen, whose name was Davey, and he explained that it would be five or six more days before everything was completed. I’d been hoping the finish line was a little bit closer, but he showed me everything they’d done so far, and it looked like it was at least coming along nicely. The water leak had caused a weakening in the structure of the bathroom floor and ceiling, so it all needed to be completely pulled out and replaced. It gave me a nervous wobble in my stomach to see the gaping hole in the ceiling, but at least it was well on its way to being mended.

  After visiting the house, I was due to meet with Tara and Nuala for lunch. We still kept in touch with Celine online, but she’d moved to Galway a couple years ago with her family, so we didn’t see her in person as much anymore. As I entered Christine’s, I spotted Nuala sitting by the window with Tara, the two of them already deep in conversation.

  “Well, you two look very serious,” I said as I pulled out a seat to join them.

  “We’re discussing the cupcakes Tara’s making for Gigi’s birthday party at my parents’ house this weekend,” Nuala replied with a grin. “So, yes, very serious business.”

  “Oh, you’re catering the party?” I asked. Deirdre had been pestering me about taking her to buy a gift for Gigi all week.

  “Just the sweet treats,” Tara said, while Nuala put in. “Mam is taking care of the savouries.”

  “I’ll look forward to that. Your mam is an amazing cook.”

  “So, how have you both been?” I asked before lifting the cup of coffee Tara slid in front of me as soon as I arrived.

  “Can’t complain,” Tara shrugged. “The café is doing well. I’ve actually been thinking of expanding and opening another location.”

  “Really? That’s amazing. So, this means I’ll have two places to go for the best pastries in town.” I glanced at Nuala, noticing she seemed a little subdued as she fiddled with a packet of artificial sweetener.

  “What about you? How’s everything at work?”

  “Oh, just the same old,” she responded with a faint smile. “I’m looking forward to some time off over the summer.” Nuala was a primary school teacher, and I knew the summer holidays were precious to her. It was when she got to travel and regroup before the kids returned to school in September. Something in her tone caught my attention, though. There was a hint of worry or stress there, a faint strain in her expression.

  “Are you sure?” I asked, eyeing her closely.

  “Of course, I’m sure,” she said with a slightly forced chuckle before changing the subject. “By the way, I heard about what happened last night.”

  “Last night?” Tara questioned.

  I blew out a heavy sigh and explained. “Deirdre and Gigi decided to take off and visit some girls they met at a concert. Deirdre left me a note, but I didn’t see it, so Derek and I went into a panic searching for them all over town. In the end, it turned out that Gigi forgot her phone, and Deirdre’s battery went dead. Then their train was delayed. It was a whole thing.”

  “Wow, that makes me glad I don’t have children,” Tara said with raised eyebrows.

  “They certainly have a way of making life more stressful,” I agreed with a chuckle.

  “It’s the teenage years,” Nuala said. “I’m telling you, all the four-year-olds I teach are just the sweetest. Well, except for when they throw tantrums or pee their pants on accident.”

  “Oh, stop, that’s heartbreaking,” I said. “It’s been so long since Deirdre was that age. I’ve almost forgotten the tantrums.”

  “Even when they’re being troublesome, they’re still pretty much adorable, though,” Nuala said before taking a sip of coffee.

  We chatted and caught up some more while chomping on the delicious gourmet sausage rolls that were a favourite among the customers at Christine’s. When I got back to the hotel, I found myself thinking about Nuala and the tension she’d been trying to cover up. I’d just stepped off the lift and wandered down the hallway before stopping short. Derek was outside the door to the Talbot suite. He didn’t see me coming, and he appeared to be in the middle of mumbling a practice conversation to himself before he lifted his hand and knocked.

  “Were you practicing an apology just now?” I asked, and he jumped before turning to me and glowering.

  “Bloody hell, Milly. How are you so silent?”

  I grinned because I’d taken him off guard, and he deserved it after how he’d behaved last night. Also, this was the first time he’d called me Milly since I’d moved home, and it felt so natural to hear him say my name again. The wave of nostalgia was almost overwhelming.

  “Hey, don’t blame me. It’s your fault for adorning these floors with such thick, plush carpets.”

  “I’m not in charge of interior design,” he grumped as I pulled out the key card and swiped it over the door entry system.

  “Come on in. I believe you had some sort of speech prepared,” I said teasingly, catching his eye as I stepped by him and into the suite. I placed my bag on the side table before turning and folding my arms. Yes, I was very much going to enjoy watching him grovel. I deserved it after his boorish attitude towards me last night.

  “I didn’t prepare a speech. I was just trying to figure out the best way to tell you that I was a brute last night. I let my worry for Gigi take over, and I was horrible to you. For that, I’m sorry, and I hope you’ll forgive me.” Genuine remorse marked his features, and something inside me softened.

  “I suppose I can find it in my heart to forgive you.”

  Derek narrowed his gaze at my curving lips, his own twitching with an almost smile. “That so?”

  I nodded. “Besides, I probably would’ve been just as mad at you if you’d devoured a Club sandwich and a slice of baked vanilla cheesecake before placing the room service tray it came on over the note your daughter left, thus creating an unnecessary panic for everyone.”

  There was another faint twitch at the corner of his mouth. “Is that what happened?”

  “I felt pretty silly about it when I got back last night and realised what I’d done.”

  Derek rubbed at his jaw, his gaze searching. “Well, I’m doubly sorry because it turns out Gigi was the mastermind behind the whole outing, and I accused Deirdre of being the bad influence.”

  “Yes, well, maybe don’t be so quick to lay blame in future. Also, I hope you aren’t going to cancel Gigi’s birthday party. I’ve just heard that Tara’s making cupcakes and your mother’s handling the savoury treats.”

  His lip twitch transformed into a tender smile. “Of course I’m not cancelling it. I’m not a monster.”

  A small quiet fell as we just stood there staring at one another. Despite last night’s drama, I noticed he looked much better than he had several weeks ago. His eyes were less bloodshot, his skin brighter. “How have you been?” I asked. “I mean, in general?”

  His eyebrows shot up. Clearly, he hadn’t expected me to enquire about his wellbeing. “I’ve been good. Better. Well, aside from the fact that in addition to Gigi going missing last night, I came home to my son on the couch with his arm around a girl.”

  “Oh,” I winced. “They weren’t …?”

  “No, thank God. They were just watching television. But I did have to have a somewhat awkward conversation with my son this morning about safe sex.”

  “And how did he take it?”

  Derek grimaced. “As awkwardly as expected.”

  “Ouch, well, I guess that’s the job of parenting teenagers.”

  “Yep. I thought it was supposed to get easier as they got older, but experience is proving me wrong on that front.”

  I chuckled, reaching out on instinct to softly touch his arm. “Pablo’s lucky to have a dad who’s prepared to go through the awkward conversations for the sake of him being fully informed. I know a lot of parents who’d rather bury their heads in the sand about that sort of stuff.”

  “Right,” Derek said, his gaze lowering to where I was touching him.

  I quickly dropped my hand and cleared my throat. “Well, I guess I’ll see you at the party.”

  “Yes, I’ll see you then.”

  “Bye, Derek.”

  He stepped outside then turned back, his gaze trailing over me before he responded, “Goodbye, Camille.”

  When he left, my stomach wouldn’t quit doing somersaults. There just something about a man who could put aside his pride and apologise when it was called for. Not to mention, he had on one of the many suits he wore to work, and I found it difficult not to drool when he was dressed so smartly.

  So, my old crush had come back with a vengeance, but it was okay. I just needed to keep it from going too far. Noticing how attractive I found Derek was one thing, but letting my feelings get involved was another, and I was prepared to steel my heart against him. It was the only way not to get hurt because even if he was allowing himself to be my friend again, I knew he’d never love me like he used to. He’d proposed to me, and I’d said no. That kind of rejection caused people to build walls, to resist the thing that once caused them immense pain. I knew it because even though I was the one who’d rejected him, I felt the pain of losing him right down to the very core of my being.

  It was something I’d never forget, and if I knew Derek like I thought I did, he wouldn’t either.

  ***

  A few days later, it was time for Gigi’s party. Deirdre was practically bubbling over with excitement since she’d managed to find a rare vinyl edition of an older Purple Beatrice album for a birthday gift. The weather was nice, which was a relief because it was a garden party, and lots of family and friends had been invited. I wore a flower print tea dress and some leather sandals, with my hair down and blow-dried straight.

  When we got there, it appeared that a number of guests had already arrived. Deirdre had asked if it were okay for her to sleep over at Gigi’s tonight, but I needed to find Derek and clear it with him first. Nuala and her mother answered the door and welcomed us in. Deirdre immediately sped off, eager to give Gigi her present, while Nuala led me to the kitchen and poured me a glass of wine.

  “It’s already hectic,” she said as we wandered out into the garden that was all set up with outdoor furniture and an area for food. There was even a DJ they’d hired to play all of Gigi’s favourite music, which not surprisingly was mostly Purple Beatrice songs. I sat next to Nuala and enjoyed a bite of a fancy cheese pastry when suddenly there was an audible squeal of excitement that came from Gigi. She dashed towards the patio doors leading out into the garden where a beautiful, dark-haired woman had just appeared. She wore skintight jeans and a flowy, low-cut blouse, her gorgeous face free of makeup and her shoulder length hair in glossy waves.

  When Gigi reached her, she threw her arms around the girl and captured her in a feverish hug.

  “Wow, I had no idea she was coming,” Nuala said. “She must’ve wanted it to be a surprise.”

  And just like that, I knew exactly who the mystery beauty was.

  Gigi’s mother and Derek’s ex-wife, Paloma.

  18.

  Milly

  “Mam! I can’t believe you’re here. I’ve missed you so much,” Gigi exclaimed, and my heart squeezed at seeing her reunited with her mother. I suspected it meant a lot to her that Paloma had taken a break from touring to come see her on her birthday.

  “I had to come see you when you turned fifteen, mija,” Paloma replied, still hugging Gigi tightly. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

  Her Spanish accent was light, probably faded from living in Ireland for so many years. Nuala rose and went to greet her, but I stayed seated, not wishing to intrude on the touching family moment. Derek appeared then with his son, Pablo, who was bestowed with a hug from his mother, too, and though he smiled and appeared happy to see her, he didn’t seem as overwhelmed as Gigi was. Then again, the bond between mother and daughter was a special one. I knew it because I had that same bond with Deirdre.

  Then Paloma turned her attention to Derek, and they exchanged polite greetings. There didn’t seem to be any tension between them, which was nice to see, but at the same time, I was glad they weren’t overly affectionate. I certainly wasn’t sure how I’d feel if Paloma had hugged Derek in the same way she’d just hugged her kids.

  I was also a little disappointed that he hadn’t come to say a quick hello or even looked at me since he’d appeared. My stomach felt hollow as I wished for him to turn my way, and that was a troubling sign. Maybe I didn’t have as good of a leash on my feelings for him as I’d thought. The realisation had my skin turning uncomfortably warm and my pulse racing with a sense of panic. Was there any backtracking from this?

  Derek’s parents appeared then, alongside his younger brother, Tristan. They all went to sit at one of the tables while Paloma regaled them with stories of being on tour with Rosanna Dove. Gigi sat next to her mother the entire time, completely starry eyed as she listened to her speak. I saw the resemblance between them, matched up the parts of both Gigi and Pablo that they’d inherited from their mother. Deirdre was at the other end of the garden talking with some of the teenage girls in attendance, so I remained sitting alone, sipping my wine and observing the party.

  Mainly, I found myself studying Paloma, her natural charisma and charm. The way she so effortlessly held court. Not a single hint of nerves showed even though she was the sole focus of everyone’s attention. I could never be that way. As soon there were more than two or three pairs of eyes on me, I tended to panic and mess up my words. It was clear how Derek fell for her, how the two of them got swept up in a whirlwind romance that summer when they met in Spain. My heart ached a little because I’d never really experienced that kind of thrill, not when it came to relationships. Sure, I’d been attracted to my past partners, but it wasn’t an all-consuming passion. The closest I’d ever come to feeling truly wrapped up in another person was the year I’d spent with Derek as a teenager. And even then, I could never fully relish the way he made my heart race, how my skin tingled whenever he touched me, even in the most innocuous of ways. Everything with Derek was always shrouded by guilt. Guilt that I was betraying Aunt Nell just by being friends with him.

  My aunt had been older back then than I was now, and as I thought of her, I felt a certain bitterness. Yes, she’d helped me in so many ways when I was starting out in life, supporting me through having Deirdre and everything that came with having a baby and studying at the same time. But it felt wrong that she’d made me promise never to have anything other than a casual friendship with Derek. Who made a teenager make such a promise just because of a personal hurt that was done to them decades earlier? I certainly couldn’t imagine doing something like that to Deirdre or any other young person in my life, no matter what terrible thing might’ve befallen me.

  Maybe I was just feeling sorry for myself as I watched Paloma and the Balfes reconnect. I felt like an outsider, and I was allowing old pain to fester into resentment. I didn’t want to be that person, and I needed to remind myself to be happy with the life I had because it was a good life, even if it was missing the relationship part.

  “You look like a woman who could use some sugar,” came a voice, and I glanced up to find Tara standing over me, holding out a delicious-looking cupcake with pink frosting.

  I chuckled. “Isn’t that always the case?” I took the offered treat, and Tara sat down next to me in the seat Nuala had vacated.

  “So, Paloma’s back,” she said, staring in the direction I’d been looking for the last while. “She’s infuriatingly gorgeous, isn’t she?” I pressed my lips together, swallowing down the thick lump that had lodged in my throat. Tara cast me a glance. “Sorry.”

  “What are you apologising for?”

  “You and Derek were always—”

  “Friends,” I finished for her. “We were always friends.”

  “He wanted to be a lot more than friends back in the day. You did, too, but you were so shy back then. You kind of still are, but you’ve gotten a little less inhibited over the years.”

  “My shyness wasn’t the reason we never became more than friends,” I told her, and she arched a curious eyebrow.

  “No? Why, then?”

  I slumped in my seat and took a bite of the cupcake. It was delicious, just as I expected. “It’s complicated.”

  “Wow, that is the most dejected I’ve ever seen a person look whilst eating a cupcake. Can I take a picture?”

  I scowled at her. “Shut up. And no, you cannot.”