“You need me to lift my shirt, right?”

  “I do,” Sam said. Tommy was in summer pajamas and content to stay that way. Ryder had only put on athletic shorts himself this morning with a T-shirt.

  Sam looked around at Tommy’s incision, then put his shirt down. “Looks great. Why don’t you go back to TV and I’m going to have a cup of coffee with your father.”

  It was the first time someone had said “your father” to Tommy like that. Tommy knew Ryder was his dad but it wasn’t spoken often. Ryder was thinking it needed to be spoken more.

  He was getting sick of being lumped into the friend category. Not just by his son but also his son’s mother. Especially when he knew she was feeling everything he was. He wasn’t stupid. He saw it and he knew her better than she wanted to admit to herself.

  Sam got up and moved into the kitchen and helped himself to coffee. “Where’s Marissa?”

  “Taking a bath.”

  And it pained him to say that, knowing she was naked in the guest bathroom soaking in bubbles, but he knew she needed it.

  “And you’d love nothing more than to walk down the hall and join her?” Sam whispered, leaning in close.

  “I think that goes without saying.” He nodded his head for his brother to follow him out to the deck.

  “What’s going on with you two?”

  He snorted. “Nothing.”

  “And you want it to be more?”

  “Yeah. We lost so much with that misunderstanding. I’m going to regret the words I said to her for the rest of my life.”

  “I get it,” Sam said. “But she did something worse and you know it.”

  “And she apologizes all the time. I just don’t know how to get past this.”

  “Do you think she wants to?”

  He didn’t want to give his brother too many details. “Yes. I’m positive. It’s just I’m not a patient person and once she goes back and I only see her a few times a month it’s going to be hard.”

  “Then take advantage of the week she is here.”

  “It’s a little hard to do when I’m working and we are taking care of Tommy.”

  “Leave it to me,” he said.

  “Leave what to you?” he asked. “I’m not sure I trust any of you. Why would you want to help me?”

  “You’ve got a big problem if you don’t trust me,” Sam said. “Because there is no way you can do this on your own. But I’m doing it more for me and the rest of the family, as this is the first woman you’ve brought home that wasn’t blonde, ditzy, artificially enhanced, or had an annoying personality. So do you want our help or not?”

  Ryder felt his face flush with the embarrassment at Sam’s words. And though he hadn’t brought Marissa home like he had any of those other women he’d found on dating sites or in bars, he was pretty sure his brother could see through what Ryder had been doing for years.

  “I’ll take any and all the help I can get.”

  21

  The Right Call

  “Your parents didn’t have to stay with Tommy so we could get out of the house,” Marissa said. She’d thought it was nice of Diane and Grant to offer to sit with Tommy so she could get some air. They’d told Ryder to take her out to dinner, just the two of them. That they needed a little break.

  She wasn’t going to argue even if she felt it was odd. But the truth was, she needed to leave the house too. Sam had gotten back to her with the biopsy results. She’d expected them to test the mass, but she knew it was benign. What she hadn’t expected was him saying, “I had them biopsy every part of it and run it twice. That’s what took longer. I thought I would have had the results yesterday at the latest. Though it’s benign and great news, there were some abnormal cells discovered.”

  “What does that mean?” she asked, feeling like she was going to throw up. Thankfully they were at Ryder’s house when Sam stopped over on the way home to tell them, saying he’d gotten the results.

  Ryder grabbed her hand and held it tight. “You’re killing me, Sam,” he said.

  “That’s why I started with it’s benign and great news. Relax. But you should know that something was changing and though you never know if abnormal cells could lead to cancer, the fact they were there proves that you made the right call, Marissa. Pushing like you did, not taking those other doctors’ answers to watch and wait. I wanted you to know that.”

  She started to cry. Tears of relief that it was all good and validation that she didn’t put her son through an unnecessary surgery. “Thank you. I just can’t thank you enough.”

  She stood up and hugged him. “That’s my nephew there. He’s going to be fine. When I see him for his follow-up I’ll have recommendations for you and Ryder, but I wanted to give you the good news now.”

  “Recommendations for what?” Ryder asked. “Why can’t you tell us now?”

  “First off, I need to do some research and second of all, it’s just going to be follow-ups and monitoring. Nothing to be really worried about.”

  Sam had left after that and she and Ryder hugged before she could stop herself, but then she jumped back not wanting to give him the wrong idea after their little tiff a few days ago. They were talking and getting along, but it was cooler.

  Tommy was getting better and stronger daily and he was starting to drive her insane already with his whining that he was bored.

  “They want to spend some time with him and I think you need a little break. I told you I could have worked from home and helped out this week.”

  “I know. It’s just I might not get much done if we were here together. It’s nice to sit in your office while Tommy is sleeping.”

  “Ah,” he said, smiling. “That’s it. It is a pretty sweet office, isn’t it?”

  His charm was coming out again that had been missing for the past few days. “Every part of this house is sweet.”

  “It is. I thought it was too much for me but many in my family have one much bigger. I wonder how long Sam will stay in his house.”

  “Why?” she asked.

  “It’s about the same size as mine but cut up differently. I guess it’s going to depend on how many kids they have. I don’t think Dani will have more than two.”

  “And if there are three rooms and they are the size of yours that’s plenty enough space.”

  “It is,” he said.

  “Would you move? I mean I’m sure you’ll settle down at some point. Maybe have more kids.” She started to wonder how that would be for Tommy, then told herself to slam on the brakes. By the time that happened Tommy would be older and probably not need his own room for long here.

  And then she had to stop herself from even thinking thoughts like that.

  “I figured I’d have kids by now. I thought a lot of things nine years ago. I guess some came true and others didn’t.”

  He moved away from her to get his keys and phone, not letting her respond to that. What would she say anyway? She could read between the lines.

  Once he came back with his keys, he said, “My parents will be here in one minute. Do you want to go say bye to Tommy before we leave?”

  The two of them were on the patio talking, with Tommy inside in the living room. She had sat out there with some lemonade and was just enjoying the deck. She could get used to this and had to remind herself to get real. She had her shot and she blew it.

  Or they blew it together. No, the blame landed on her. Or the stubbornness did. Either way, it was in the past.

  She stood up. “Yeah. Hopefully he doesn’t get upset over that. I know he likes to go out to eat, but he’s not up for it any time soon.”

  “My parents will keep him distracted, you can bet on that.”

  They got in the house and moved over to Tommy on the couch playing with his handheld video game. “Tommy, Ryder and I are going out for an hour or so. Ryder’s parents are on their way and will stay with you. Are you okay with that?”

  “Sure,” Tommy said. “I like talking with Grandma and Grandpa. And Grandma said she’d help me with schoolwork if I needed it. But I’m on break and there is no work.”

  Marissa smiled. “I’m glad. You’ll have fun.”

  “Where are you and Ryder going?” Tommy asked.

  She looked at Ryder. “Just a restaurant in town,” he said. “Nothing special.”

  “But you should take Mom somewhere special.”

  “Tommy,” she said, wondering where this was coming from. He’d never said anything like that to her before.

  “Maybe I will soon when you’re feeling better and she—we—won’t be so worried about rushing home to you.”

  “I think you should,” Tommy said.

  “So I’ve got your permission?” Ryder asked.

  She wanted to get out of here before this conversation got out of hand. In her eyes, it was already revving up and ready to drag down the strip.

  “Yep. You’re my dad. She’s my mom. You should take her somewhere nice.”

  She closed her eyes and took a breath in, then turned to look at Ryder. She could see the emotions on his face. It was the first time Tommy had said Ryder was his father to Ryder. The first time he’d acknowledged him as more than a man that entered his life.

  “You’re right,” Ryder said. “I am your father.”

  The front door opened and they heard Diane and Grant coming down the hallway and she was thankful for the reprieve.

  “There’s my grandson,” Diane said. “I’ve got cookies for you. And fudge. I normally only make fudge at Christmas, but you said you liked chocolate and peanut butter.”

  “Oh man,” Ryder said. “That’s my favorite.”

  “It’s not for you, Ryder,” Diane said. “It’s all for Tommy.”

  She found herself grinning at her son’s excited smile. “Not too much at once. You need to eat dinner first. There’s leftover soup in there.”

  “We aren’t having soup,” Diane said. “Ryder said you asked for pizza yesterday and that he was already cooking, but your mom said another night. I hope it’s okay that I planned that. Maybe I should have asked first, but tonight is the other night.”

  Diane was smiling so bright. “It’s fine,” Marissa said. “Nothing seems to bother him and Sam said if he’s hungry to let him eat. To just not overstuff himself.”

  “I’m used to boys thinking they can eat an entire pizza on their own, but I’ll make sure he only has one piece,” Diane said.

  “Awww,” Tommy said. “I always have at least two.”

  “Leftover pizza is just as good,” Ryder said.

  “Fine,” Tommy said.

  “Bye, Tommy,” she said, moving forward to give him a kiss on the cheek.

  Ryder leaned down and kissed his forehead and Tommy smiled back.

  “That was easier than I thought it’d be,” she said when they were in Ryder’s car. “I thought for sure Tommy would be upset we were leaving.”

  “I told you my parents would distract him. I just feel bad the place I planned on going isn’t all that fancy.”

  “Does it look like either one of us is dressed to go anywhere fancy?” she asked. They both had on jeans and casual shirts. “And ignore him. You don’t have to do that.”

  “But I want to. You heard him. I have his permission.”

  “He’s nine,” she said.

  “He’s my son. He’s your world. It’s a package deal. We know that.”

  “It is. I guess it is for both of us now.” At least she hoped he felt that way.

  22

  Give It A Try

  Ryder was doing his best to keep his emotions intact, but it wasn’t easy.

  Every time he thought he was getting closer to Marissa something happened and he ended up a few feet back.

  But he was getting closer to his son and that was what mattered more than anything.

  The fact that Tommy not only said he was his father but that he also wanted him to take Marissa out somewhere nice told him he had his kid in his corner without much effort. He wouldn’t exploit it, but he was damn well happy to have it.

  “I know you won’t have him as much as me and it might crimp your dating life,” she said just now.

  “Don’t even go there. I’m not thinking of anything other than him and you. Dating life? You know where my mind is at.”

  “Do we think it’s wise?”

  “I think it’s wise to give it a try. We’ve both said we were heartbroken. It was a misunderstanding. We’ve got a child. Yes, we are different people right now, but can you honestly say you don’t want to see where it could go between us?”

  It might not be smart to say that right yet, but he needed to know. He wasn’t keeping anything back and he wanted it all out in the open.

  “What if it goes wrong? Then what?”

  “Then we are nothing more than any other set of parents that aren’t in a relationship and have to co-parent. But we haven’t even had a chance to do either.”

  “That’s right,” she said. “Not be in a relationship with Tommy in our lives or co-parent. Doing both at once might make it harder.”

  “Or easier. Before that last day we saw each other we were good together,” he said reaching for her hand. “Great together.”

  “We were,” she said.

  “I want to give us that chance again. We’ll know if it isn’t going to work. But I think it will. I know it can. If we want to work at it. I’m willing to.”

  He pulled his car into the parking lot, then turned to look at her. “I guess I do too,” she said.

  If it was the best he could get, he’d take it. “Then let’s go in and get some dinner.”

  When they were at the table, there was more silence than he thought there’d be. “This is awkward.”

  “What is? Why?” he asked. “That conversation in the car shouldn’t have made you nervous. You’d think it would have loosened you up. I know it did for me.”

  She smiled at him. “So tell me why?”

  The waitress came over and took their drink and food orders. Neither of them wanted to be here longer than necessary, but it was nice to have the time.

  “Because I feel like I’m not carrying this weight around. That you know what I want. Where I stand. You know I’m going to mess up with this parenting gig as you’ve been doing it much longer, but I’m cute and funny and you liked that about me before. Now you’ll give me more slack.”

  She laughed. “You are pretty cute and funny. Or you were. My guess is you still are and I haven’t been able to appreciate it much because of my nerves.”

  “Over Tommy’s surgery?”

  “That. How we are going to make this work. We live apart. The money. The parenting. My reaction to you.”

  “Now it’s getting good,” he said. “Elaborate on that last one.”

  She snorted and rolled her eyes. “Figures you’d narrow in on that.”

  “I already know about your nerves on the other ones. The last one was just a hope of mine and I’m thrilled it’s a reality. So yeah, that one I want to talk about.”

  “There’s that humor you’ve got.”

  “I’m not really making a joke about it though.”

  “Yeah. I know.”

  “So are you going to be honest and tell me about it?” he asked, knowing he was putting her on the spot. But she’d always been so cool and collected and for her to admit she was nervous of her reaction to him was saying something.

  “I think I at least owe you that, don’t you agree?”

  “I do.”

  Her face started to flush a little. “You’ve held me. I like it.”

  “Oh, my heart is going pitter patter.”

  “I don’t need the sarcasm,” she said.

  He leaned closer to her at the table. “Your heart is racing. You want to reach out and touch me now. Not just hug me. Maybe not even just kiss me. But more. You remember everything about me even if you wish you didn’t.”

  “I think that goes without saying.”

  “But I want you to say it,” he said.

  She waited a second. Their drinks were brought out and when the waitress was gone again, she said, “Fine. I miss it. I thought I’d never get it again. What we had. When I saw you at your office weeks ago, it’s like you never were gone from my life even though you were. Even though I was pissed off and scared to see you, I couldn’t stop the way my body reacted.”

  “Same here,” he said. “It felt like a betrayal. Here I am pissed off at you. I have all these thoughts in my head of the last thing I saw before I said what I did. But you walk in my office and all I want to do is yank you close and put my mouth to yours. Among other places on your body.”

  “I want to say I’m stronger than that, but I’m starting to wonder. I’ve been upset for years, but I’ve had no break from it. Like I said before. I see you when I look at Tommy.”

  “So you see love and hatred and a broken heart? Or you did?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “What do you see now?” he asked, holding his breath. “Just tell me the first word that comes to you. Don’t think about it.”

  “Hope,” she said.

  “Good enough for me.”

  They got through dinner by changing the subject because if they didn’t he was pretty sure his cock was going to rise enough to lift the table up.

  Once dinner was done, they drove home. “Do you think Tommy would like some ice cream?” he asked.

  “He would,” she said. “But a cone would melt and if he’s resting or not hungry it’d go to waste.”

  “They’ve got quarts you can buy at this place. What do you think? I could go for some.”

  “But you’ve got fudge at home.”

  “Spoken like a true mom,” he said and patted her leg in the car. She didn’t flinch, she even laid her hand on his while he rested it there and his dick started to twitch. Man he might be in trouble.

  “I am one so I should speak that way too. But if you want to stop and get him and yourself ice cream we can.”

  He made a turn and they got in line. Rather than getting three cones, they got three quarts. Cookies and cream for Tommy, butter pecan for Marissa, and chocolate peanut butter swirl for him.