Of course he did. He’d eaten the sandwich Ryder had packed hours ago when he woke up and then fell back to sleep. “What do you want?”

  “Can I just have some yogurt?”

  Crap, she didn’t have any. She needed to get groceries. Why didn’t she think of this before? “I have to run to the store. Let me see if Grandma can come sit with you while I do that. How about some crackers and cheese? I’m sure we’ve got cheese in there.”

  “Okay,” he said and went to sit on the couch.

  And when she returned home after getting groceries, she asked her mother where Tommy was when she came in the door.

  “He’s in bed.”

  “Is he okay?” she asked. “Why didn’t you call me? I was only gone forty minutes.”

  “He’s fine. He said the couch wasn’t as comfortable as Ryder’s and he’d rather lie in bed and watch TV. He fell right to sleep though. He’s still pretty tired.”

  She wasn’t going to let it bother her that her couch that was only three years old wasn’t as comfortable as Ryder’s massive sectional. She’d have to agree with her son on that one.

  “I’ll wake him soon. He hasn’t been napping twice a day but did yesterday because he was worn out after Ryder’s parents left. The car always makes him fall asleep, but I want him to sleep tonight too. We need to get back in a routine even if he isn’t going to school.”

  “It gives us time to talk now. We haven’t been able to do much while you were gone. Nothing more than me getting updates on Tommy. I can see he is fine, but I want to know about you and what is going on with Ryder.”

  She knew she’d have to tell her parents everything but wanted to do it in person. “We are doing well. We’re going to give a relationship a chance.”

  Her mother hummed in her throat. “I want to ask if that is wise but after having spent time with Ryder’s parents, they are decent people. His mother held nothing back about her disappointment in his behavior that caused the breakup.”

  She snorted. “And I’m sure you held nothing back in your disapproval over me withholding Tommy’s paternity.”

  “We’ve never kept that a secret. I’m not sure if it’s wise for you to get involved with Ryder again or not, but you’re a grown woman. It seems the two of you didn’t get a fair chance through your own stubbornness and stupidity.”

  “Gee, thanks for the support there, Mom,” she said as she put the groceries away. “Don’t be shy with your honesty.”

  Her mother laughed. “I won’t. I never do. It’s been a long disagreement we’ve had with you over this and now you’re going to have to accept the consequences of your actions. If Ryder is willing to forgive you, that is great. It’s going to be a long road and I hope you know that.”

  She did and didn’t need to be reminded. “We can manage just fine. He’s stepped up to be a father that I never thought Tommy would have. I worried Tommy would want to be with Ryder more than me but that is silly.”

  “Tommy is a boy and the time is going to come where he might want to be with his father.”

  “Again, thanks for reminding me, but I’m more focused on the next day, the next week, the next month.”

  “Do you see yourself with Ryder? Moving to Durham?”

  Her mother was holding her stare, her eyes a little glossy. She was close to her parents and they helped her a lot, but she didn’t have the bond with her mother like Ryder did with his mother or father. She never realized she missed it until she witnessed it this past week and saw the closeness of his family, along with his extended family.

  “I’ll do what is best for Tommy and me. I think it’s not in doubt that if Ryder and I can make this work, it’s going to be in Durham. He can’t pick up and move and I wouldn’t ask him to. That business will be his someday.”

  “You’re not swayed by the money?” her mother asked.

  “Of course not. How can you ask me that? If I was all about the money I would have reached out to Ryder years ago.”

  “I know that. I just wanted to hear you say it.”

  “You have a funny way of asking. It was more like an insult.”

  Her mother reached her hand out and rubbed it on hers. “It wasn’t meant as one. I see that I might lose you and Tommy and it’s hard, but I understand you’ve given up so much and you deserve some happiness too. I’m just not completely convinced Ryder is the person to make you happy the way you should be.”

  “I was there once before,” she admitted.

  “And you were a young woman then. You’re older and wiser and your priorities are different.”

  “So are his,” she said. “We are both different people and two people determined to make it right.”

  “But is it for Tommy or the two of you?” her mother asked.

  And that was the question she’d been asking herself for a week. Did Ryder want to get back with her because he’d lost her before and wanted what they had to see if it was the same, because he wanted to give his son a family, or because he wanted her?

  31

  To Accept Things

  “You can call me if you need anything,” Marissa said on Friday morning.

  “I can handle it just fine,” Ryder said. “If I can’t find something in your house, then Tommy will show me where it is or I’ll go buy it. We aren’t going to starve and you’ll be back at one.”

  He’d gotten to Marissa’s a little after seven last night. Tommy was thrilled to see him and gave him a hug strong enough to melt his heart like butter on a hot potato.

  Then the three of them watched TV while he ate the dinner Marissa warmed up for him. Images of this in his life wouldn’t get out of his mind. Coming home late and having dinner for him. The three of them laughing at the TV and talking about their days.

  Four days apart had been hard, but they talked every night and Tommy texted him a lot during the day. He could tell his son was bored and he tried to get back to him as best as he could, but he was working and was in meetings too. He’d found out later that Tommy was texting his mother and father just as much.

  They were now Mama and Papa Fierce and his father was walking about like a proud peacock fanning his feathers out telling everyone.

  He was happy for them. They were happy for him. Now he just needed to get Marissa to be happy with him too or at least stop worrying so much.

  “I know,” she said. “It’s just I’ve got a few meetings this morning but if you need me call. I might not answer a text.”

  “We’ll be fine. I’ll let Tommy sleep as long as he wants and I’ll do a little work. Nothing pressing. You know I can cook. I won’t burn your house down. I’ll get him in the shower and he’ll be nice and clean before you come home. I might even have lunch ready for you.”

  She rolled her eyes and leaned in to kiss him on the lips. He liked this side of her. The one that was trying to accept things. Trying to accept him.

  She was letting go and relaxing.

  Not like she did last night when Tommy was in bed and they were reaching for each other and rolling around in her bed. They had to be a lot quieter with the rooms closer together here than at his house, but they managed just fine.

  And now this morning, she had on a straight black pencil skirt, a little light blue summer sweater that just brought the blue out of her eyes even more and a pair of simple black pumps on.

  Yeah, it was making him think of all sorts of things that had nothing to do with her going to work right now.

  “Don’t go out of your way,” she said. “Tommy’s appointment is at two and it’s only about ten minutes away. I’ll have plenty of time to change and eat.”

  He pulled her into his arms and laid his lips to hers. “I like you dressed like this though.”

  “Too bad. I like being in jeans.”

  He smiled and kissed her again, then swatted her on the ass causing her to yelp. “Admit it,” he said. “You liked that just now.”

  She started to walk away and then turned her head, looking at him over her shoulder. “Maybe you’ll have to try later tonight.”

  His jaw dropped. “You told me I had to be quiet last night.”

  “Damn. Okay, guess it needs to wait until we are back at your place.”

  He wanted to ask when they’d be but knew better. Instead he said, “Have a great day. See you in a few hours.”

  When Marissa was out the door, he went into Tommy’s room to check on him and saw he was still sound asleep, then decided to get some work done.

  By the time Tommy stumbled in rubbing the sleep from his eyes ninety minutes later, he said, “Oh I forgot you were here today. I should have gotten up sooner.”

  He laughed. “You still need sleep, but you won’t be able to sleep late next week if you go back to school.”

  “I know. I can’t wait. I want to see my friends and then show them my scar.”

  “Don’t tell your mother that. She probably won’t like you lifting your shirt for everyone.”

  “I know. But I can tell you. You said I can tell you anything.”

  “Yeah, you can,” he said. “And let’s start by you telling me what you want for breakfast.”

  “Pancakes,” he said. “And Mom bought blueberries.”

  “Then pancakes it is. You’re going to have to take a shower. Do you want to do it now while I cook or after?”

  Tommy’s shoulders dropped and he made a face that Ryder was pretty sure he’d done plenty in his life at that age when he didn’t want to do something and was told he had to. “I guess I’ll do it now. Mom will know if I don’t. She knows everything.”

  “That’s a parent’s superpower,” he said.

  “What’s my superpower?” Tommy asked.

  “How about having us wrapped around your finger?”

  Tommy grinned. “That’s a great superpower.” Then his son took off down the hall to shower and Ryder got to work making breakfast.

  Several hours later they were sitting in the waiting room at Tommy’s doctor’s office. Marissa had gotten a few looks when the three of them came in. She’d updated Tommy’s paperwork before with Ryder listed as the father and his contact information and insurance cards but now they were getting a look at him and they weren’t shy about whispering either.

  “This is awkward,” she said.

  “Why is it? We know they are talking about us,” he said.

  “Because the girls at the desk always thought I was making it up when Tommy was sick. That it wasn’t anything major. Even Tommy’s doctor tried to brush it off. Once the mass was discovered they took me more seriously, but they still didn’t always get me in right away.”

  “It wasn’t until Sam got in touch and talked to the doctor that things changed?” he asked.

  “Yeah. I’m not sure what Sam said, but they bend over backwards now. They are overly nice too. It drives me insane. I don’t care what they think of me, I just want my son to get his care.”

  “Why not change doctors?” he asked.

  “It’s not easy and they know him here. Especially with as sick as he was. It’s all good now though.”

  He knew it would be, as his brother would have made sure Tommy’s doctor called him for everything. Sam would have been firm and he would have threatened to go over the guy’s head if things weren’t done to his specifications. But because Sam was highly respected he suspected that played a part too.

  “McMillan,” they heard and all stood up. He’d have to get used to this or at least push his annoyance aside for now.

  The three of them made their way into the exam room while the nurse took Tommy’s vitals. When the doctor came in, he took one look at Ryder and extended his hand. “I’m Dr. Miller.”

  “Ryder Fierce,” he said. “Tommy’s father.”

  Dr. Miller nodded his head but looked a little shocked. Ryder wondered if Sam had said Tommy was his nephew or not. Maybe not.

  “Nice to meet you. So Sam Fierce is your brother?” Dr. Miller asked. “Or another family member?”

  “Brother,” he said. “Older brother.”

  Looked like Sam didn’t say a word.

  Dr. Miller turned to Tommy. “How are you feeling?”

  “Good. They said everything is gone now and if you say so I can go to school Monday.”

  Dr. Miller smiled. “I think if you feel good and everything looks good, then we can get you back to seeing your friends. How is Mom feeling about that?”

  Marissa didn’t smile. “If he’s healthy and you clear him, I’m sure it’s for the best. Home schooling hasn’t been that much fun and he misses his friends.”

  “Then let’s check everything out and I’ll give Dr. Fierce a call and we’ll make a decision.”

  “You’re going to call him while we are here?” Marissa asked.

  “I am. He said he should be in his office or they’d page him,” Dr. Miller said.

  “He’ll take the call,” Ryder said, “or I’ll call him personally.”

  Once the exam was done, Dr. Miller pulled his phone out and called Sam’s cell phone first. “Dr. Fierce, this is Steven Miller. I’m in the exam room with Tommy and his...parents.” Ryder hated the hesitation over that but knew they were used to just seeing Marissa. Not anymore if he had any say. “We just completed the exam, and I’ll put you on speaker if you want.”

  Dr. Miller moved his phone away and hit the button. “Hi, Sam,” Tommy yelled.

  “Hey, buddy. How are you feeling?”

  “Good. I beat Ryder last night at checkers. I’m going to beat you next.”

  Ryder smiled over that statement. “I’m better at chess, but your uncle won’t admit that.”

  Marissa nudged his leg for him to stop talking. He knew exactly what she was doing. “Hi, Sam,” she said. “So Tommy wants to know if he can go back to school and stop driving his mother insane.”

  There was Sam’s laughter over the phone. “Let’s hear the report.”

  By the time they were done and walking out of there, Tommy was all but skipping with excitement over the fact he’d be returning to school and almost didn’t care that he couldn’t do much physical activity for several more weeks.

  “Now that we are home, I’ve got something for you,” Ryder said.

  “What?” Marissa asked him. He knew he should have said something to her about this, but damn it all, he was going to do it anyway and it was brought up in front of her too. She had to know him well enough by now.

  “Remember how we talked about drawing with software?”

  He looked at Marissa and saw her curl her lips, but he reached his finger over and smoothed it out causing Tommy to giggle. “Mom does that when she’s annoyed. You just made her stop. I guess I need to try that.”

  “I’m not sure it will work with you, but you can give it a try,” he said.

  This time Marissa laughed and then threw her arms up in the air. “I don’t know why I’m surprised. I guess the bigger surprise is that it took you this long for it. I suppose I thought you would have done it last week.”

  He laughed. “I didn’t want to push my luck when everyone was getting along so well.”

  “And now you don’t mind it?” she asked.

  “I figured I wouldn’t be here long enough to suffer the doghouse too bad.”

  “What are you two talking about?” Tommy asked almost shrieking at them.

  “Hang on,” he said and went to the guest room that he slept in for all of two hours last night. The two hours that Marissa woke up and kicked his butt out of her bed.

  When he came back out Tommy was almost hopping in place with excitement. “Is that a computer? Is it mine?”

  “It’s just a Chromebook,” he said. “You’re still young yet for a full-on computer, but this is a good starter.”

  He looked over at Marissa and saw her grin at him, then mouth, “Thank you.”

  “It’s mine?” Tommy asked. “Just mine?”

  “It is. The schools are using these now, right?”

  “Yes. That’s the one we use in our class, but this one is newer.”

  “I’m sure the schools don’t buy new ones every year and you have to share there. You can’t bring this to school, but you can use it for homework and I’m going to show you the software I got on it for you. Different things to draw.”

  Tommy launched himself at Ryder again. “Thank you. I can’t wait to use it. Can I send you things I draw from this and get pointers? Will you teach me to draw buildings? That’s what you do right? I want to learn to do that too. Maybe I can work with you and Papa someday.”

  Ryder felt his own eyes start to fill and looked at Marissa. He wasn’t sure what he expected to see but it wasn’t her smile or that she would come over and give him a kiss on the cheek in front of Tommy either. “I think your father might like that. He’s kind of speechless right now, Tommy, and that’s hard to do.”

  32

  Had It Pretty Bad

  Ryder had gone back to Marissa’s the next weekend on Friday night and left on Sunday. It was tiring him out and he realized that it had to be worse on Marissa to do it.

  Thankfully Tommy had a checkup with Sam tomorrow. One month after the surgery and everything seemed to be going well.

  Not just with Tommy’s recovery but also with his and Marissa’s relationship.

  He looked at the clock and knew they’d be here within the hour. Marissa got out of work early, picked Tommy up from school and they got right on the road. He’d said he’d have pizza here for them and they could relax and watch TV tonight.

  He was taking the day off tomorrow. They had an early appointment with Sam and then they were going to go mini golfing. Sam said there was no reason Tommy couldn’t do that and he was dying to have some fun with him. After that, it was going to be lunch and the movies. A full day with his son and his son’s mother.

  His girlfriend.

  The last time he had someone he could actually call a girlfriend, it was Marissa. It just went to show how sad his personal life had been. Or pathetic was more like it.

  And after their fun day together, his parents were going to watch Tommy for a few hours so he and Marissa could have dinner out again. Maybe with any luck, Tommy wouldn’t mind spending the night at his parents’ house. His mother had asked, he’d passed it on to Marissa and she said they’d discuss it after their day to see how Tommy felt.